Mr. Cellophane

Random thoughts - the Oscar nominations.

2012-01-24T19:08:00.002-05:00

The time is upon us. Let's get right to it.

+ This year, there are nine nominees for Best Picture. I've seen a mere four (The Artist, The Help, Hugo and Moneyball).

- Nada for Young Adult. It took an AV Club story to remind me of this film, especially of Patton Oswalt's understated (and neglected) turn. I guess he can live with being a funny em-effer, but it still stings. (He seems to be taking it well enough, though.)

+ Loco boy makes good, part 1: editor Kevin Tent has finally been recognized with a nomination for The Descendants. He is (like me) a native of Western New York.

+ Loco boy makes good, part 2: Another first-time nominee: costume designer Mark Bridges, for The Artist...and a native son of Western New York.

- Biggest disappointment: no nomination for Albert Brooks in Drive. The one Oscar nomination the film would've genuinely deserved and it doesn't happen. What a crock of shit.

+ The Original Score category: The Adventures of Tintin (John Williams), The Artist (Ludovic Bource), Hugo (Howard Shore), Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (Alberto Iglesias) and War Horse (John Williams). And not a Dragon Tattoo to offend the eye.

- Only two nominees for Original Song. No "The Living Proof". No "The Ballad of Rango". No "Pretty Bird" (rendered ineligible for some bullshit reason).

+ From Craigular guy to Oscar nominee: Jim Rash, Dean Pelton on "Community", co-authored the adaptation of The Descendants. I was so thrown to learn that it was the same guy.

? Best Animated Feature: two outside-the-box European features, two Dreamworks films and Rango.

- Nada for 50/50. Wasn't too crazy about this, but I figured it was a lock for Original Screenplay, as did many others.

- Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close managed to squeak in with a Best Picture nomination (and a Supporting Actor nod for Max Von Sydow), despite uproariously nasty reviews.

- Can you believe that Gary Oldman and Nick Nolte have never been nominated until this morning? Weird.

+ Academy-Award nominee Jonah Hill...it sounds strange, no matter what, but he was pretty good in Moneyball.

- Nominee for Original Screenplay: Bridesmaids by Annie Mumolo and...Kristen Wiig. This is probably the statement that sends my readership into the negative numbers (assuming it's not already there) but I don't much care for Kristen Wiig. There it is. I gained a near-instantaneous dislike of her when I thought she was the 'Bitch please' girl. (Twas actually Michaela Watkins, who seems to have fallen into obscurity...so I guess karma works.) Wiig falls into two categories for me: insufferable on SNL and incredibly bland in films to the point where her roles could be played by literally anyone (Extract, MacGruber, How to Train Your Dragon). If you factor this...thing into the mix and, well, I'm not exactly angling for membership in her fan club. (In the interest of fairness, she was fairly amusing in Paul and she made a good impression in Whip It, suggesting to me that her talent is at the whim of the writing. I haven't seen Bridesmaids, so I can't judge fairly.)

+ Speaking of Bridesmaids, the film's other nomination went to Melissa McCarthy. Maybe, if the nods for The Help cancel each other out (as they are wont to do in situations like this)...nah, it might still go to Berenice Bejo. Hey, it's anybody's race.

The Shadow (Jerry Goldsmith)

2012-01-22T19:10:00.000-05:00

The time: the 1930s. The place: New York City. Playboy Lamont Cranston (Alec Baldwin) has another identity, fighting crime and clouding men's minds as The Shadow. But has he met his match in the devious and equally skilled Shiwan Khan (John Lone)? Underrated adaptation of the pulp character is a great deal of fun; beautifully made and well-cast, even if many of the players (including Tim Curry, Ian McKellen, Jonathan Winters, James Hong and Peter Boyle) aren't given much to do.

Though a number of his scores have been released on specialty labels in the last few years, this is at the top of my wish list for Jerry Goldsmith's sterling output.

The Shadow
composed & conducted
by
Jerry Goldsmith

1. The Poppy Fields 3.13
2. Rude Awakening 1.40
3. The Tulku 2.45
4. Cement Shoes 1.14
5. Taunting Duke 0.52
6. Forced Confession 1.25
7. Freeing Dr. Tam 0.31
8. "The Shadow knows" 1.27
9. "There is no Shadow 0.26
10. Lamont Meets Margo 0.55
11. First Date 1.45
12. Vision of Fire 0.39
13. Tomb of Temujin 1.05
14. Khan Awakes 1.56
15. Grim Discovery 0.28
16. Margo's Feeling 0.57
17. Unlucky Day 1.18
18. The Sanctum 3.30
19. Shiwan Khan 4.07
20. Flying to Destiny 0.33
21. Bronzium 0.56
22. Summoning Reinhardt 2.31
23. "You will forget about me" 0.25
24. The Shadow Appears 0.33
25. Chest Pains 3.37
26. Margo's Mission 2.33
27. "You're the Shadow" 1.30
28. Tailing Lamont 0.43
29. Sun Yet Kitchen 0.30
30. "Oh, that knife" 3.01
31. The Monster Within 2.24
32. A Flying Leap 1.12
33. Tanked 4.02
34. Bad Memories 1.57
35. Breaking News 1.00
36. The Hotel Monolith 5.20
37. Tailing Claymore 0.35
38. Claymore's Exit 1.00
39. Battling the Phurba 3.09
40. Chasing Khan 1.39
41. Disarming the Bomb 1.18
42. Mirror Attack 0.56
43. Frontal Lobotomy 2.26

Call me overconfident, but I really think that this is the year that this release will come to fruition.

My favorite movies of 2011.

2012-01-17T19:45:00.003-05:00

And so, another year has passed. It's always a good feeling walking into a movie theater (which reminds me of a post I've been neglecting for a long time, but that's for another day). These are the movies I enjoyed the most:

10. Contagion - A truly unnerving biological thriller, brought to life by a first-rate ensemble cast.

9. Hugo - One of several love-letters to the art of cinema to be released in 2011; Martin Scorsese's film unfolds like a good book.

8. Super 8 - An engaging snapshot at the late 70s and a neat homage to the Close Encounters/E.T. era of film.

7. The Help - This adaptation of the best-seller ably mixes humor and drama, bolstered by a terrific cast.

6. My Week with Marilyn - A bittersweet look at the friendship between Marilyn Monroe (an enchanting Michelle Williams) and a go-fer on the set of The Prince and the Showgirl.

5. The Muppets - Funny, colorful, tuneful. If there was a more ingratiating film released last year, I haven't seen it.

4. Captain America: the First Avenger - Perhaps the finest of the year's comic book movies. Exciting and well-acted, with a strong feeling for the time period.

3. The Adventures of Tintin - Hugely entertaining and proof that not all motion-capture features are terrible.

2. A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas - The best film of the series and the most deliriously funny movie I've seen all year.

1. Rango - My favorite animated feature of the year, distinctively designed and bursting with quirky humor.

Missed it by that much:

The Adjustment Bureau
Arthur Christmas
Footloose
Fright Night
Kung Fu Panda 2
Real Steel
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
30 Minutes or Less
Thor
Tower Heist
We Bought a Zoo
X-Men: First Class
Young Adult

Underrated: The Big Year, Mars Needs Moms and Super

Overrated: Drive (yes!) and Moneyball

Guilty pleasures: Abduction and The Three Musketeers

Liked it better than I thought I would: Arthur Christmas

Didn't think this was so bad: Arthur, Cars 2, Green Lantern, Killer Elite and Your Highness

Kind of a letdown: The Change-Up, Colombiana (in spite of the action scenes), Cowboys and Aliens and Limitless

Just plain bad: Sucker Punch

My favorite things in movies - 2011:

Albert Brooks in Drive

Anna B. Shepard's one-scene tribute to Raiders of the Lost Ark in Captain America: the First Avenger

Anton Yelchin in The Beaver and Fright Night

"Breakfast is served." and "You're not the only one who can play this game." - Sherlock Holmes: a Game of Shadows

The chase through the sandstorm in Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

Colin Farrell in Fright Night and Horrible Bosses

The dance fight in Puss in Boots

Dan Fogler in Mars Needs Moms and Take Me Home Tonight

The hidden camera/panic room scene in Hall Pass

"Hug me." - Young Adult

Idris Elba in Thor

The journey through the doors in The Adjustment Bureau

The Kato fight scenes in The Green Hornet

Kumar's plan to steal the tree from the church in A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Mark Strong in Green Lantern and Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Michael Giacchino's military theme from his score to Super 8

Octavia Spencer recounts the story of "The Terrible Awful" in The Help

The opening credits of Super, especially the final gag

Ray Stevenson in Thor and The Three Musketeers

Richard Jenkins in Hall Pass and especially The Rum Diary

Robert DeNiro helps Yvonne Strahovski catch a train in Killer Elite

The song "Pretty Bird" in Rio

Stanley Tucci and Tommy Lee Jones in Captain America: the First Avenger

Stephen Merchant decides whether or not he'd use one in Hall Pass

The ultimate revelation in Final Destination 5

The video game gag in Kung Fu Panda 2

William Fichtner in Drive Angry 3D

"You know I don't check that shit." - 30 Minutes or Less

----------------------------

Favorite title sequences:
The Adventures of Tintin
Final Destination 5
Rango
Super
Your Highness

Holy shit, was that...? (The appearances of these actors aren't necessarily cameos. They were listed in the cast, but I was honestly thrown when I saw them.)
Dan Castellaneta in Super 8
Edward Furlong in The Green Hornet
Toby Huss in Cowboys and Aliens
Ashley Johnson in The Help
Phil LaMarr in Real Steel
Alyssa Milano in Hall Pass
David Paymer in Bad Teacher (in fact, with Paul Bates near the end, there was a nice psuedo-Crazy People reunion here)
Pruitt Taylor Vince in Drive Angry 3D

Random thoughts

- There was a lot of complaining about the unbelievability of the Dale storyline of Horrible Bosses; 'Dude, it's Jennifer Aniston! I'd love to have her sexually harassing me!'. You won't find me in that choir, though. Geneva, Switzerland's Jerome Piroue phrased it better than I ever could in response to People naming her Sexiest Woman of All Time (*coughrecountcough*): "Doesn't even rank as sexy on mine. I've got nothing against her, except... she simply doesn't evoke 'sex' in any way for me." If I were Dale and the role were played by someone like Sofia Vergara, not only would I be okay with the harassment, but I would fucking encourage it.

- Speaking of women I will never have, Christina Hendricks went without make-up in Drive. If that's what she looks like without make-up, it pretty much furthers my 'she's a Greek Goddess in hiding' theory I'm cultivating.

- I've learned something very important: if you don't say the title Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star the way Peter Dante did in the ads, you're wasting valuable oxygen.

- The original ending of Rise of the Planet of the Apes had James Franco's character getting killed. As if the theatrical ending wasn't enough of a wrist-slitter...

- I couldn't take my eyes off of Jessica Chastain in The Help. Now for some clarification: while she did give a fine performance, what I'm really saying in the first sentence is 'Holy cow! Did you see how tight her blouses were?'.

- Okay, is it written into Mads Mikklesen's contract that every character he plays in a major studio movie have some kind of eye trauma?

- And speaking of eye trauma, I've sat through every Final Destination movie since the series started. I've witnessed every insane, CGI-generated (in most cases) demise, but the aftermath of Olivia's death in 5 is pretty much the only time I've ever covered my eyes during one of these movies.

- It's weird to consider that Super, a movie where people are gruesomely bludgeoned, stabbed and shot, would have one of the sweeter endings I've seen all year.

- In the trailer for Tower Heist, I was somewhat thrown off by Gabourey Sidibe's flat line readings. In seeing the film, I realized that they had her redub her lines as to mask her character's Jamaican accent. Beats the hell out of me why they did this.

- Rio was a good movie that might've been great if not for the overloading on wacky sidekicks. George Lopez's toucan was funny and the bird duo of Jamie Foxx and will.i.am had their moments, but they tipped their hand with Tracy Morgan's bulldog...and his constant slobber had me thanking God that I only saw the film in 2-D.

- A weird trend that I've noticed in animated movies of late: far more off-putting than the 'characters dancing to a pop hit ending' trope is the 'villains dancing along' trope. This year's Puss in Boots featured Jack and Jill laid up in traction and still moving to the beat. 2010's Megamind saw the incarcarated Hal dancing in his cell...but, in terms of sheer WTF, I don't think anything will top Despicable Me (also from 2010), which saw Vector boogieing down...while stranded on the moon (!).

- I honestly consider Transformers: Dark of the Moon to be the best of the Transformers movies...which is not unlike calling someone the world's tallest midget.

- The Artist was a sweet, if slight, bit of fluff. There was a bit of rumbling about the movie's use of Bernard Herrmann's "Scene D'Amour" from Vertigo and how it upset that film's leading lady, Kim Novak, to the point where she said she felt raped by it. While you will never convince me that the cue was a perfect fit in the film, this is a silly overreaction, not unlike man-children responding to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

In time for the previews.

2012-01-16T22:09:00.005-05:00

As I'm sure I've mentioned before, I've fallen in love with trailers from long ago. Tonight, I got the opportunity to see a program of some of the cheesiest trailers from long ago. Most of them were from the 70s. I can only imagine the substances that went into making some of these movies. Still, it was a treat seeing these previews amongst an audience. The crowd response was exhilarating.

The features raised from the hilariously incompetent (Two Thousand Maniacs!, Panorama Blue - a porno, BTW, the oevure of Rudy Ray Moore), to the mildly intriguing (Foxy Brown, Blacula) to the outright disturbing (Zombie - shown as Zombies 2; I imagine that Dawn of the Dead was known as Zombies when it hit Italy, Deadly Weapons, Let Me Die a Woman...I tell you, there are just some things that can't be unseen).

Just goes to show you; there are fun things to do in this town, if one is willing to look.

2012-01-13T18:33:00.002-05:00

Well, Friday the 13th is unlucky...to anything standing in my way.

The snow that the area is in(famous) for finally made itself known, but I still went to see The Artist. All in all, a pretty good day.

2012-01-10T21:48:00.002-05:00

Good news, everyone!

By Friday evening, I will have seen Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and The Artist, therefore my "Movies of 2011" post will be ready by (or on; likely the second one) next Tuesday.

Also, I'm feeling a lot better.

2012-01-08T19:35:00.003-05:00

Let's see: teeth chattering, goose bumps, liquid waste instead of solid, weird feeling in my stomach? Yep, I'm sick.

Don't know if it's the flu or something I ate, but I'm feeling mighty low. Hope to talk when I feel better.

Winter/spring movie preview.

2012-01-04T21:53:00.001-05:00

January:

The Devil Inside - The Last Exorcism, more or less re-told by the makers of Stay Alive.

Contraband - Before they embarrass themselves later this year in Seth MacFarlane's Ted, Mark Wahlberg and Giovanni Ribisi are embroiled in smuggling counterfeit bills.

Joyful Noise - Feuding church choir members (Dolly Parton, Queen Latifah) find that their offspring are falling in love.

Underworld: Awakening - Blue filters. Cheesy CGI. Kate Beckinsale in skintight clothing. You'd think at least one of these would entice me to see this.

Haywire - Following a betrayal, a super soldier seeks revenge, beating her way through an impressive cast (Michael Douglas, Ewan McGregor, Antonio Banderas, Michael Fassbender, Bill Paxton, Channing Tatum). BTW, why do I get the feeling I haven't heard the last of that last guy?

Coriolanus - A tale of revenge in ancient Rome, with Ralph Fiennes (making his directing debut) and Gerard Butler.

Red Tails - The true story of African-American fighter pilots in World War II. Screenplay by John Ridley and Aaron McGruder. Yes, the creator of "The Boondocks".

The Grey - What could be worse than crash-landing in a frozen wasteland? Crash-landing in a frozen wasteland and dealing with wolves. Bad time to be Liam Neeson, I would imagine.

One for the Money - Katherine Heigl returns to Killers territory in this 'based on a true story' tale of a woman who becomes a bounty hunter. Wasn't this a USA show a while back?

Man on a Ledge - Sam Worthington threatens to jump off the ledge of a hotel, but could this be a cover for something else? Probably.

February:

The Woman in Black - From Horcruxes to ghosts; Daniel Radcliffe investigates a haunted house.

Chronicle - The superhero genre seems to be wearing out its welcome. Likewise, the found footage genre. Let's combine them! Screenplay by Max 'Son of John' Landis.

Big Miracle - Based on a true story of an Alaskan community uniting to save a trio of killer whales.

Safe House - CIA agent Ryan Reynolds is tasked to protect fugitive Denzel Washington when their safe house is attacked. A more action-oriented Midnight Run? Maybe.

The Vow - Rachel McAdams loses her memory in an accident, spurring Channing Tatum to remind her of their relationship.

Journey 2: the Mysterious Island - A sequel to the remake of Journey to the Center to the Earth, co-starring Dwayne Johnson, Michael Caine and Luis Guzman.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance - Jonah Hex was a disjointed (though strangely watchable) mess. Here's hoping that Neveldine/Taylor's second foray into comic book adaptations turns out better.

This Means War - Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are two CIA agents who come to blows over Reese Witherspoon. Neat premise, but the execution has me uneasy. Think I'm overreacting? Look up the credits of the film's producer, Robert Simonds. I'll wait.

The Secret World of Arrietty - The latest from Studio Ghibli. It's nice to finally see an animated production do justice to the story of "The Borrowers". (Yes, that was a shot.)

Act of Valor - The trailer so led me to believe this was some kind of documentary, but apparently, it's a fictional story of Navy SEALS rescuing a CIA agent. (Man, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a movie about CIA agents this month.)

Wanderlust - It's like I said last fall: Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston drop out of the rat race and join a commune.

Good Deeds - Tyler Perry is Wesley Deeds (oh, I get it now), a man who finds true love on the eve of his wedding.

Gone - Amanda Seyfried managed to escape a psychopath, but he comes back for her sister. Creepy.

March:

The Lorax - Yet another loose adaptation/expansion of a Dr. Seuss story. Looks charming enough on its own, but I get the feeling that this will fall into 'if only they didn't call it (blank)' territory.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters - Anoter classic fairy tale gets a wild reimagining. Wake me when they come out with "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".

Project X - Not a remake of the Matthew Broderick movie, but the story of how a house party gets out of hand. Produced by Todd Phillips.

Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie - Yep. God hates us.

John Carter - As much as I want this, Andrew Stanton's live-action debut, to succeed, I get the feeling that this adaptation of the Edgar Rice Burroughs story will be the first big bath taken by a studio this year.

The Raven - Edgar Allan Poe (John Cusack) is on the case as a killer patterns murders after Poe's writings.

Think Like a Man - Following the much-disliked (but not that bad) Fantastic Four movies, Barbershop director Tim Story returns to character-based films with this (if you watch as much television as me) all-star romantic comedy.

Playing the Field - While coaching a youth soccer team, Gerard Butler hopes to score with some single moms.

Mirror Mirror - This take on the Snow White story (the first of two this year!) actually looks good, mainly because of Julia Roberts' hammy Evil Queen. Sue me.

21 Jump Street - 2010's The Other Guys was apparently so successful, Sony decided to remake it with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum. Sure, it's purportedly based on the Fox TV series, but don't be fooled.

Butter - People actually craft sculptures out of butter? Weird but true. This movie takes a look at those folks.

Casa de mi padre - When is a change-of-pace not a change-of-pace? When Will Ferrell stars in a Spanish comedy.

The Hunger Games - Another feature based on a youth-oriented book that I haven't read.

A Thousand Words - Long-delayed Eddie Murphy comedy where he is cursed with only being able to utter a thousand words before he dies.

Wrath of the Titans - Perseus, Zeus, Hades and the whole gang are back.

The Pirates! Band of Misfits - After a pair of maligned-yet-very-enjoyable CGI features, Aardman returns to claymation in this high-seas adventure comedy.

April:

American Reunion - Damn them. What sounded like a bad idea actually looks pretty funny.

The Cold Light of Day - More or less another variation on Frantic with the guy from Immortals.

The Cabin in the Woods - Long-delayed (in the years since its completion, co-star Chris Hemsworth had time to rise to stardom as Thor), Joss Whedon-produced thriller where a group of friends encounter strange goings-on.

The Three Stooges - The inexplicable "Jersey Shore" reference aside, this seems to be a spot-on channelling of the classic shorts.

Bullet to the Head - Walter Hill directs Sylvester Stallone, a collaboration that one feels probably should've happened years ago.

Movie 43 - An assemblage of original comedy shorts, bursting with talent on both sides of the camera.

Wettest County - Prohibition must really be popular, what with "Boardwalk Empire" and this drama from the director of The Road.

The Lucky One - Yet another one of those Nicholas Sparks adaptations, this time starring Zac Efron.

Chimpanzee - Disney's annual nature documentary looks at an adorable baby chimp and the bond he forms with an older primate.

House at the End of the Street - A mother and daughter move next door to a house where a murder took place. It sounds like a glorified Lifetime movie to me.

Lock-Out - There was talk of an Escape from New York remake a while back, but that seems to have stalled, allowing Luc Besson to put his own spin on the idea.

The Five Year Engagement - After such a long courtship, will Jason Segel and Emily Blunt be ready for marriage?

Safe - Jason Statham is...does it really matter what the movie's about?

Top ten to see:
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Haywire
The Secret World of Arrietty
Safe House
The Grey
Movie 43
The Raven
Man on a Ledge
Mirror Mirror
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Fuck these three:
Underworld: Awakening (Again with these stupid movies?!)
The Devil Inside (I think the poster's flipping me the 'muff diving' sign.)
Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (No Steve Brule = Why would any sane person see this?)

Resolute.

2012-01-01T10:20:00.002-05:00

Here's another list of things I want to do, but (more than likely due to laziness or disinterest) probably won't:

- attend at least one convention (I really don't care what city it's held in.)

- get my own place (A 30-year-old guy still living at home. The scandal!)

- take this screenwriting thing seriously (I have an idea in particular that I just know might get my foot in the door.)

- learn how to play an instrument (Not really something I have to do. I just have a curiosity.)

- avoid eating so much at the movies (This one I can't completely promise, despite the hit my wallet takes.)

- talk to beautiful women (As in complete sentences; Just saying 'Hey' is not acceptable.)

I doubt this is a complete list. I'm always forgetting something.

And to anyone who read my post last night/this morning, deep apologies if I worried you.

Dear whomever...

2011-12-31T23:59:00.000-05:00

I am a ghost. Not in the literal sense, though I may as well be. People ignore me and, in those rare moments when someone does acknowledge my existence, they consider me a burden.

Life is so full of disappointments, it's genuinely difficult to know how to react when something good happens. You expect people to be responsible. You expect people to be decent. You expect them to think.

If I post something tomorrow, then you'll know that I didn't have the spine to go through with it. I never do.

2011-12-25T11:31:00.002-05:00

It's Christmas morning. Not much is going on. I've opened my presents (items of clothing, mostly) and now I'm here talking about it. I, honestly, have no energy to talk about at what point Christmas becomes just another day, but...

2011-12-19T19:55:00.001-05:00

Kind of an afterthought, but I finished one of my scripts today. After I get some feedback from a trusted source, I might sell it next year. It's one of several I hope to complete/sell.

2011-12-15T13:50:00.003-05:00

Well, I've finished my Christmas list. Yes, with ten days left. The reasoning behind this goes much deeper than simple laziness. It's because my family can't give me the things I really want (And asking for money doesn't quite cut it, since "you already have a job"). Things like:

- a job that I look forward to going to every day

- a loving girlfriend

- the time and money needed to travel the world

- my own place

- boundless confidence

I don't think this is too unreasonable.

2011-12-12T22:10:00.001-05:00

Bucket list update: right next to 'three-way with redhaired brainiacs' is 'visit every place featured on "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives"'.

A schedule of events.

2011-12-10T00:06:00.004-05:00

Okay, never mind the past. Here's what's up for the future (this is kind of a big deal as I hate making schedules like this; it puts pressure on me to get things done, which only encourages further procrastination):

January 10th (or 17th, depending on when Young Adult, The Artist and Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy are released in my hometown) - My favorite movies of 2011

January 17th - Random thoughts - the movies of 2011

January 24th - The Oscar nominations and what I think of them

January 31st - The film music of 2011 (this is a late post for two reasons: a. the soundtrack to Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol is set for release on the day I post my favorite movies and b. I'm nowhere near done acquiring and cataloging the soundtrack releases - new and old - of '11)

Well, that's all.

2011-12-06T22:54:00.003-05:00

Two things happened at work that I felt like talking about.

- An annoying little brat came in with his grandmother. This punk was the whole package: running around, playing on the dividing ropes, asking stupid and annoying questions. I'm reminded of my theory that only stupid people have children...and yes, that includes my parents.

- I heard a cover of the "Hawaii Five-O" theme over the P.A. system. At first, I'm like, 'I didn't know that was a Christmas carol'. As more non-Christmas tunes filled the air, I was struck with the realization that they weren't playing Christmas music anymore. This doesn't happen until at least the 28th. Granted, hearing the likes of "(Simply Having) A Wonderful Christmas Time" and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" performed by a vaguely racist-sounding Paul Robeson impersonator over and over will drive anyone bats, but I can't help but feel cheated not hearing Christmas tunes around this time of year.

2011-11-30T19:57:00.003-05:00

Monday night, I read a rather unusual post at the Film Score Monthly message board. One of the posters had discovered a treasure trove of Varese Sarabande CDs on sale from projects over the last decade (and a small fraction from before that time). Here comes the punchline: they were not to be found in some chain store that specializes in music, but in Family Dollar.

(For a number of reasons, be it the feng shui of its wares or the smell, Family Dollar - hell, any store with the word 'Dollar' in its name - gives me the fucking creeps...and yet, over the last couple of days, I've been to three locations in my town looking for Varese CDs. I've bought three so far and - much to my deep regret - there are more titles yet to get.)

This is part of a much bigger problem I've been facing in my town: the lack of soundtracks in supposed music retailers. Borders is dead, FYE (save for one mostly picked-over location within reasonable driving distance) is dead, there's only one Barnes and Noble with a (weak) soundtrack selection and the local record store is an absolute joke in terms of new and used soundtracks. It's getting so I have to do all my shopping online and the prices/shipping fees give me, inveterate penny-pincher that I am, migraines.

Seriously, when Family Dollar is the only game in town to scratch a soundtrack-buying itch, you know the universe fucked up somewhere.

2011-11-25T23:13:00.002-05:00

Couldn't think of a cute video clip to post which (partially) explains why there was no Thanksgiving post yesterday. My sisters came to visit. I showed them (and my mother) pics I took in Manhattan. We ate dinner (with beer-battered bread - made with ginger ale - and artichoke dip...holy shit, is this good stuff!). What more do I say?

2011-11-20T23:24:00.003-05:00

My sister treated my parents and I to a round of Old Country Buffet yesterday morning. I chased my two helpings of breakfast with a brief bit of lunch and some pudding(s; chocolate and banana) and cake for dessert.

That's always a sucky feeling when you've eaten too much and can't go on despite how good the food is...compounded by when you're starving and think to yourself, 'I wish I ate more during that trip'. I hate feeling like that.

2011-11-14T11:45:00.002-05:00

The latest chapter in my inexorable disappearance from this mortal plane: I'm sitting at the table in the breakroom when the damn table collapses. I'm struggling to get the thing level only to find that the part that collapsed was held together with masking tape. Nothing like quality control, you know? But that's not the funny part. That came when a co-worker (whom I not-so-affectionally refer to as Tammy Tutone; if you saw her, you'd understand) decided to just sit there like nothing happened; like I wasn't even there.

Times like this that I'm convinced that I died years ago, but no one has had the testicular matter to tell me.

2011-11-10T19:54:00.000-05:00

Something that has long bugged the piss out of me about "Jeopardy!" and hopefully, I'm not alone: in Final Jeopardy, a contestant writes down an answer that they know to be wrong (or nothing) and they still wager a shitload of money. They may as well send them home, all expenses paid, on a short yellow bus.

2011-11-07T12:41:00.003-05:00

Okay, are we running out of ten-dollar bills? I was just at JCPenney's buying some new socks (which feel really comfortable, BTW) and I hand the sales rep a twenty expecting a ten, but what do I get? Two fives. The same thing has happened at various times over the last few weeks. Seriously, what's going on?

2011-11-03T11:05:00.001-04:00

To any and all minors who read this: always be sure to leave home while you're still in your twenties. Otherwise, your parents will drive you fucking crazy.

2011-11-02T15:34:00.005-04:00

I would've killed myself years ago if it didn't involve so much work and pain.

I merely bring this up because I was at the movies today (In Time, for the curious). On the way to my seat, I pass a goddess: red hair, dark eyes, porcelain skin and not shy about dressing up as a schoolgirl, even though she looked to be a few years out of school. Also, she was there alone. In between losing myself in the plot, I steal glances at her and think about what I want to say to the potential mother of my children. The film ends. The lights go up. I approach her. My debilitating shyness kicks in. I freeze. She walks away. Out of my life...forever. Within range of a goddess and I let her slip through my fingers.

I'm definitely selling my soul at 35. I have no other option.

2011-10-29T23:32:00.002-04:00

More than a potential script idea: after work, I was (and still am) willing to barter my immortal soul for the girl of my dreams. If 35 rolls around and I'm still single, I will seriously go through with it.

Oh, like you wouldn't.

2011-10-25T14:16:00.001-04:00

I'd love to pull a "Freaky Friday" with someone today, just to see if, after enduring today's work day, they still believe that it's not a curse to become old.

Start spreadin' the news...

2011-10-20T21:29:00.001-04:00

Yes, I'm back from New York City. Manhattan, to be exact. 'How was the trip?', you may wonder. Well...it's New York City. It's huge. I stayed at the Milford Plaza Hotel on 8th Ave. Funny story: I was under the impression that the hotel was on 45th Street, which lead to a lot of walking around, while carrying a suitcase and a backpack and wearing a raincoat when it had stopped raining. Asking for directions led me to my hotel. Very nice place, even if my room was wee. I think my bedroom is bigger than my room. Also, there were elevators where you had to press on a keypad the floor you wanted to go to. For some reason, I was always directed to ride elevator 'B'. Some creepy, 1408 shit right there.

I went up to 47th and 8th to wait for the shuttle bus to the main reason I took the trip: New York Comic-Con. There were a number of panels I wanted to see, but could not. For those who've been to San Diego, picture how impossible Hall H is to get into. You have nearly every experience I did trying to get into the panels I wanted to get into. (I won't deny that, at least twice, it was my own fault. The "Robot Chicken" panel I wanted to get into was being held at IGN Theater, where I was able to witness the DCAU panel, but, for some reason, I skipped out. Also, I sat through a panel on Todd McFarlane just to see a panel on John Landis and his book, "Monsters in the Movies". The latter panel was cancelled and the line for "The Avengers" panel was ridiculous. Okay, maybe I'm being a little gauche. It was more of a crowd than a line.) The speed dating (!) sessions I had hoped to partake in were also overcrowded with no-hopers. Compounding that was the fact that people were dropping flyers and trash everywhere, giving me a piteous feeling for the custodians I saw periodically.

"Did you have any fun at New York Comic-Con?!", you may, by now, be asking. Sure, I did. I managed to get into a handful of panels:

- The aforementioned DCAU panel. I got to see a preview of "Justice League: Doom" and a "Catwoman" short that played like "Batman: TAS" by way of "Law and Order: SVU".
- The aforementioned Todd McFarlane panel. Couldn't tell you what exactly happened, as I was asleep for most of it. Yet, I was able to redeem a voucher for figures from McFarlane Toys.
- A panel on the Adult Swim series, "China, IL". Looks cheap, but it plays surprisingly well.
- A panel on the impending Adult Swim series, "Black Dynamite". Doesn't hit the airwaves until next July (!), but it was a kick to see the many people lending their voices (even if what they actually said was mostly drowned out by the cheers).
(Prior to both these panels, there was a preview for some other animated series that had a panel: MTV's "Good Vibes". Long story short, it's a long way from "Daria", "Undergrads", "Downtown" and "Clone High".)
- A joint panel of "Adventure Time" and "Regular Show". I enjoy both shows, and it felt incredible to be among the various fans, whose eagerness and love of the shows was intoxicating. Weirdest aspect of the panel: the (possibly fake) East Coast-West Coast feud between the makers of both shows.
- A panel extolling a crossover between "Ben 10" and "Generator Rex". Not bad, but I was expecting a little more than a "Generator Rex" episode with Ben dropped into it.

And then, there's the cosplay. Wow. I managed to get some good shots, but among the ones I missed capturing on film were of Darkman, Blankman and Chester A. Bum (of "That Guy with the Glasses"); the latter may well be one of the greater disappointments of this trip. Seriously, I may not have gotten to do all I wanted to do at the Con, but the shot of the dude dressed up as Mr. T carrying a gold-plated bazooka is worth more than any missed panel.

The food was, as expected, super expensive, so I hit up the street vendors just outside for less pricey, but equally fulfilling fare. I partook of a sausage on a bun with mustard and sauerkraut. Needless to say, my socks were knocked off. On the subject of food, I also enjoyed a burger and fries from the Shake Shack, a frosted black and white cookie from Crumbs and a breakfast buffet.

My hopes of acquiring CDs that I can't seem to get here was limited to a trip to Academy Records (which I walked to from the Con; from West 37th Street to West 18th Street). Amongst the many bootlegs I found two potential gems: Mark Snow's "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" and John Scott's Lionheart. The latter turned out to be a CD-R, but it sounds just as clear and professional as the ridiculously expensive actual CD.

All in all, an exciting, frustrating, dizzying trip. I must do more of them.

2011-10-19T07:40:00.000-04:00

Yes, I'm taking my time on the post about returning from New York City. Pretty much half the problems in my life can be attributed to two simple words: 'I'm lazy'.

"How can I get anything done with all this time on my hands?"

2011-10-07T21:19:00.003-04:00

If my work schedule (with my impending vacation) is to be believed, I don't have to go back to work until the 19th. This leaves plenty of time to prepare for my trip, see some movies, try to get some writing done and...what else?

When I'm at work, I can think about being somewhere else and when I'm not at work for a long-enough period of time, I think about being at work. I can't explain it.

BTW, the title comes from The Spirit, which I've talked about before. The line is apropos, as Frank Miller is going to be at New York Comic-Con. Whether I can work up enough courage to get him to sign the DVD sleeve of my copy of the movie remains to be seen.

2011-10-06T21:20:00.002-04:00

Apparently, both Apple founder Steve Jobs and character actor Charles Napier have passed on, but Napier's death is affecting me more than Jobs', for two reasons: 1) I have a PC and 2) Napier, with his distinctive face and voice, has left a deeper impression on me. Among his career (filled with bits in Jonathan Demme movies and lawmen of many stripes), highlights include Rambo: First Blood Part II, The Blues Brothers and, of course, "The Critic":

"A Duketastrophe", indeed. They will both be missed.

"Friendship is..." inevitable.

2011-10-04T22:46:00.002-04:00

Unless you've been living under a rock the last couple of years, you've, at least, heard of "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". And what is the appeal of a show like this? This guy explains it far better than anyone ever could.

For a time, my cable package didn't include the Hub (the network the show airs on) and I was a little wary of catching it on YouTube for...whatever reason. Flipping through the guide, I see that my provider does carry the Hub and that an episode was airing today. I shrug and figure, 'what the hell?'.

After having watched an episode ("Bridle Gossip", for the curious), what do I think? It's a cute show. Very charming and colorful, good messages for the intended audience with at least one laugh-out-loud gag (Spike's nickname for the "cursed" Applejack).

Final verdict: not really ready for the cult of Bronies, but I will try to catch the show when I can.

2011-10-01T14:24:00.001-04:00

It's astounding how one can go from moderately unwell (and having the time of one's life) to full-on sick as a dog and so hungry as to contemplate eating a co-worker.

2011-09-26T23:19:00.002-04:00

"I Ain't Captain Walker" from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. "Psychological Recovery...6 Months" from Sherlock Holmes. "Hog Chase Part 1" from Paycheck. These are but a few of the tracks I've listened to in my car while driving home. It's a wonder that I haven't been in an accident.

Random thoughts.

2011-09-20T21:04:00.003-04:00

- Watching the show "New Girl". Is it just me or does Jess's ex-boyfriend look exactly like child Mystique from X-Men: First Class? Seriously, take away the red hair and blue skin and the resemblance is uncanny.

- The schedule for this year's New York Comic-Con (which I am so totally going to) is up. Much like the schedules of NYCCons past, there don't seem to be as many delights as there are at San Diego Comic Con. Still, worst case scenario, I'm in New York City, bitches!

- The expression "I hate to write, but I love having written." (Emily Dickinson, in case you're wondering) keeps popping up with the many fanfictions and screenplays I'm powering through.

- Jack and Jill has apparently received a PG rating. Okay, could someone explain to me how the fuck that works? I don't want to go into too many details (because if I overanalyze a movie where Adam Sandler plays his own sister, my head will explode), but...it's an Adam Sandler movie: groin hits, swearing, toilet humor. Maybe, if this were the early 80s, I could see it, but nowadays...huh?!

10 years ago...

2011-09-11T10:58:00.002-04:00

It was my first semester at the University of Buffalo. I had just gotten through with one of my classes (Film History, I believe), and I decided to kill time by heading to the library to fool around on the internet.

There were lines for the computers (I presume that this was back before Blackberrys were widespread.), so I stood and waited. There was a television in the library. I remember seeing a replay of smoke pluming from one of the towers. Everyone else watched with me.

It's hard to know how something like this affects you. While I didn't lose anyone that day, others were not so lucky. I don't know what more to say, but I think the best we can all do is to live our lives and pray, hoping that we never face a tragedy like this again.

Cliff Robertson (1923-2011)

2011-09-10T22:46:00.002-04:00

John F. Kennedy in PT-109. His Oscar win for the "Flowers for Algernon" adaptation Charly. The Jimmy Stewart role in Brian De Palma's Vertigo remake, Obsession. The Fundamentalist villain in Malone. The President in Escape from L.A.. Robertson had quite the career prior to Uncle Ben in the Spider-Man trilogy (which he imbued with quiet dignity).

He will be missed.

Fall movie preview.

2011-09-03T11:41:00.001-04:00

September:

Colombiana - (I know this came out on August 26th, but I was too lazy to amend the 'summer movie preview' post. Plus, it was once scheduled for September, anyway, so...) Zoe Saldana is an assassin trying to draw out and eliminate the men who murdered her family. Not-bad Luc Besson thriller plays sort of like a sequel to Leon: the Professional, which I have yet to see. Good action scenes (especially the opening chase) and fine acting by Saldana and Cliff Curtis.

Shark Night 3D - Sharks attack college kids at a resort. You want me to draw you a map? Despite the PG-13 (!) rating, this looks like goofy fun.

The Debt - Three Mossad agents find that the target they pursued in the past is still roaming around. Quite the turnaround from John Madden's Shakespeare in Love.

Apollo 18 - So, someone had the bright idea to combine Apollo 13 with Paranormal Activity? See, this is why I'm kind of glad they scrapped the space program.

Contagion - The writer, director and star of The Informant! reunite for something not quite as lighthearted: the story of a viral epidemic that could destroy the human race. Looks far more chilling than any horror film coming out.

Warrior - Joel Edgerton and Tom Hardy are brothers and MMA fighters. Weird that one could make an inspirational story from MMA, but never count out the director of Miracle.

Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star - The latest Adam Sandler-produced...thing sees Nick Swardson tracing his lineage as son of two porn stars.

Drive - Ryan Gosling. Stuntman by day. Getaway driver by night. Been hearing good things about this movie.

I Don't Know How She Does It - Sarah Jessica Parker strives to balance career and family. Looks okay for what it is.

Straw Dogs - Despite the respect I have for James Marsden, this remake of the 1971 Dustin Hoffman revenge movie does not strike me as a good idea.

Moneyball - The Social Network, mark two. (Hey, blame the trailer and Aaron Sorkin's credit for this conclusion.)

Abduction - Fresh off of some vampire franchise, Taylor Lautner stumbles onto his picture at a missing persons website. Looks exciting.

Machine Gun Preacher - Based on the true story (!) of a man (Gerard Butler) leaving behind his reckless ways to help the underprivileged in Sudan.

Killer Elite - Jason Statham and Robert De Niro take on Clive Owen. I believe 'Awesome' is the word I'm searching for here.

Dolphin Tale - Ashley Judd and Morgan Freeman (and composer Mark Isham) are together again, though not for a Kiss the Girls follow-up. It's the story of a dolphin and the people it touches...or something.

50/50 - Joseph Gordon-Levitt gets cancer. His pal, Seth Rogen, tries to help him through it. Good trailer.

Dream House - Given that the whole flipping movie has been spoiled in the previews, who knows if this story of Rachel Weisz and recent real-life hubby Daniel Craig (lucky dog) beset by supernatural happenings will find an audience.

What's Your Number? - Anna Faris cycles through her many ex-boyfriends to figure out which one is right for her. I like the cast, but the R-rating seems iffy (I'm not too keen on most romantic comedies, certainly not if they have to go for the gross-out gusto).

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil - It may not even get to my neck of the woods, but it's nice that this horror-comedy is finally seeing a release.

October:

Real Steel - Hugh Jackman takes on the Lee Marvin role (it was a "Twilight Zone" episode based on a Richard Matheson story) as a trainer of a robot fighter. It looks somewhat better than it sounds.

The Ides of March - Ryan Gosling again. (Who does he think he is, Jason Statham?) Here, he's helping to get George Clooney (also the director/co-writer) get elected President.

Footloose - This remake of the 1984 movie looks quite charming and a marked change from Craig Brewer's previous work. Seriously, how does one go from Black Snake Moan to this?

The Thing - Less a remake of the Carpenter film than a prequel. Still, it could be good, though I doubt the CGI will make anyone forget Rob Bottin's jaw-dropping practical effects.

The Big Year - Owen Wilson, Jack Black and Steve Martin (awesome!) in this story of bird-watchers (what?).

Trespass - Joel Schumacher reunites with Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman in this story of a couple besieged by home invaders.

Paranormal Activity 3 - In the 80s, Paramount had the Friday the 13th franchise and now, they have this. Whatever.

The Three Musketeers - Paul W.S. Anderson's career is made of schlock. Hopefully, this is closer to fun schlock (Mortal Kombat, Death Race) than stupid schlock (pretty much everything else he's done).

Red State - Kevin Smith tries for horror. Between this and Cop Out, I don't think I care for the direction in which his career is going.

In Time - The writer of Gattaca and The Truman Show brings us a future where time is (literally) valuable.

Anonymous - This film posits the theory that Shakespeare plagarized his plays. Directed by Roland Emmerich (!). Huh. Maybe, he made 2012 for the opportunity to make this. There's no other explanation.

Johnny English Reborn - I'd rather a Blackadder movie, but this follow-up to the surprise international hit looks pretty funny.

November:

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas - Holy crap. I was against this project at the outset, but the trailer (see it in 3D at all costs!) made me laugh. Hard.

Puss in Boots - An animated prequel (it was bound to happen) where we learn about the charming feline. Looks pretty good.

Tower Heist - Employees of a hotel (including Tugg Speedman, Ferris Bueller and Precious) get cleaned out by a Bernie Madoff-type, so they enlist a criminal (Eddie Murphy, who looks alarmingly like his brother Charlie now) to help get him back. Looks enjoyable.

My Week with Marilyn - Kenneth Branagh is Laurence Olivier (dreams do come true) to Michelle Williams' Marilyn Monroe in this film about the making of 1957's The Prince and the Showgirl.

The Immortals - Before he plays Superman, Henry Cavill is enlisted by the Gods to save Greece. Is it just me, or is this movie trying way too hard to be the Jennifer Jason Leigh to 300's Bridget Fonda?

J. Edgar - Leonardo DiCaprio embodies another influential, controversial 20th century figure. Directed by Clint Eastwood.

Jack and Jill - And you thought that "South Park" episode was blowing smoke. If only...

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 - Um...

Happy Feet 2 - Never got around to seeing the first movie, so I might give this one a miss, despite the eclectic voice cast.

Hugo - A Martin Scorcese film for the whole family. No, really.

The Muppets - Again, do you need a map? Funny pair of trailers.

Piranha 3DD - The first film cranked the 3D gore and insanity to 11. Maybe, they'll shoot for '20' this time.

The Descendants - Alexander Payne returns with this story of a man (George Clooney) trying to put his life back together.

Arthur Christmas - Aardman returns for this holiday story. The trailer, though not as unwatchable as those for Gnomeo and Juliet or Despicable Me (the early one), was underwhelming, not an adjective I thought I'd ever associate with the studio.

December:

The Sitter - R-rated pisstake of Adventures in Babysitting with Jonah Hill in the Elizabeth Shue role. This might end up being the Norbit to Hill's Dreamgirls (i.e. Moneyball).

Young Adult - The writer and director of Juno return with this story of a novelist (Charlize Theron) going back to her hometown. Patton Oswalt's in it, so, that's good.

New Year's Eve - Garry Marshall follows up Valentine's Day with another star-studded romantic comedy centered around a holiday. If that's what he wants...

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - Holmes takes on Professor Moriarty. Would've loved to see Brad Pitt as the Professor (remember when that was considered?), but I'm sure Jared Harris will do a great job.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy - Gary Oldman searches for a Soviet spy amongst an impressive supporting cast.

Carnage - A four-character drama from Roman Polanski with the four actors (Jodie Foster, John C. Reilly, Christoph Waltz, Kate Winslet) all Oscar winners or nominees.

The Iron Lady - Meryl Streep is Margaret Thatcher. That's all I got.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked - Again, um...

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Interesting trailer, but will it be enough to entice me to see it? Who knows?

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol - I still think they should've opted for the subtitle The Search for Mike Hunt, but in the hands of Brad Bird, this fourth installment could be something special.

The Adventures of Tintin - Spielberg does motion-capture in this adaptation of the books. One of the writers is Edgar Wright (!).

We Bought a Zoo - Matt Damon acquires a zoo in the newest film from Cameron Crowe. If nothing else, it should have an interesting soundtrack.

The Darkest Hour - ...or Skyline: the Smart Version.

War Horse - Spielberg's second movie of the year takes us to World War I, where a young man tries to save his beloved horse.

2011-09-01T08:36:00.002-04:00

Like the song goes, 'What a difference a day makes'.

Not long after yesterday's post, I get a call from the dealer about a car. It's pretty much everything I wanted (plus a CD player!). I take a test drive, then it's off to the dealer for a gauntlet of paperwork and back-and-forth between the dealership and the credit union to approve the loan I need to pay the damn thing off.

At the end, it was worth it. There's still some aspects to iron out, but I have a brand new (used) car...which is good; I doubt I could survive another winter of waiting for the bus.

2011-08-31T10:20:00.002-04:00

When I set off on this car buying odyssey, I was just expecting to get a nice car for a good price.

Little did I know I'd have to deal with credit unions, loan applications, insane waiting periods and the pressure of actually picking a fucking car. If my job doesn't kill me from stress, getting a new car surely will.

I honestly don't think I've ever been more nervous about anything in my entire life. I just want a fucking car. Four fucking wheels and a seat! I shouldn't have to spend every waking moment scared shitless.

2011-08-27T21:56:00.002-04:00

Back when I was attending college (building my music collection, getting ignored by women, stressing out over little things...pretty much today, minus the college) and in the early years of my job, I would routinely take a trip down Main Street and shop for CDs and comics and then, enjoy a fattening lunch. I do that now, but getting there by car is somewhat different.

Today, I gave myself back a part of my misspent youth and took the train and buses to Main Street. There were no CDs of interest at the music store, but there were a number of interesting comics and I enjoyed a bacon cheeseburger and onion rings for lunch.

My apologies for being so vague, but my memory isn't nearly as sharp as I'd like it to be. Still, I'll soldier on with these 'Fuzzy Memories' of mine as a reminder of how things used to be.

2011-08-20T22:39:00.003-04:00

Well, because of the car situation, I'm back to riding the bus. It's not so bad. After all, I've ridden the bus longer than I've driven a car, but still...for this brief period of bus travel, it's like I've lost one of my legs. Here's hoping for an imminent (and inexpensive) transplant.

Car trouble.

2011-08-19T20:06:00.002-04:00

Yes, I have been away from this blog for a while. I wanted to post a 'Random Thoughts' post around Friday or Saturday last week, but I've been greatly preoccupied with something.

It started on Friday when I was driving to work. The car ride was far bumpier than I was used to. I was worried about what my father would say (it's more his car than mine, or was; more on that later), so I checked under the hood, even though I hadn't the first fucking clue what to do. I drove it home, hoping it would be nothing.

The following morning, Dad has me take the car around the block. The problem? The car seemed to have...sunk. (i.e. there was no space between the wheels and the frame of the car). I was worried a) that I had killed the car and b) it would cost more to repair than I possess.

I tend to worry far more than is necessary, so, for the next few days, before I can get it to a repair shop, I am sweating bullets about the car and what to do. Wednesday morning rolls around and I follow my mother to the repair shop. The guy theorizes that it could be the airbags that need replacing (according to my father, the car had air suspension and that it needed a few moments before driving so the airbags could fill up) and that they'd be $1500 each. I am freaking out until I check online that the car has two instead of the feared four. I could probably pay that off with a loan and credit.

Thursday after work, I get the news. It would cost $3800 to fix the car. However, this car was in existence for 16 years and the sides (and bottom, I would later learn) were rusted out, so spending all that money to repair a probably unfixable automobile would be downright foolish...and suicidal; apparently, the gas tank was likely to fall out. Pair that with sparks and kablooey! To borrow a line from Land of the Lost, "fascinating, but terrifying".

So...it seems that I'll have to eventualy get a new car. At the moment, I have no idea what kind of car I want (well, I'd love a Mini Cooper, but height and money issues are tripping me up). I just want something a) cheap and b) that will get me where I want to go. Hopefully, things will work out.

More good news: I don't think I'll have to cancel my trip to New York Comic-Con after all.

2011-08-08T14:55:00.003-04:00

Saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Liked it very much. Not the point of this post.

In getting my snacks for the movie, this girl forgets to give me my soda and my change. The change was .25, but she gives me .75. "Stop whining! You got more money." As someone who works in customer service, I understand the importance of paying attention to my register, something that she didn't understand and will likely get her fired someday.

In leaving the parking lot, I try to drive out, but light construction work blocks my path. Two women linger around the only way out. Are they looking for a space? Under this assumption, I wave one of them past...something that takes her 30 seconds (at least) to figure out. The other just sits there, like she forgot everything about knowing how to drive.

In getting a birthday present for my da at Bed Bath and Beyond, I come across a doddering fool of a saleswoman. I ask her about a shower radio and she could not be any more vague. The best solution is to ask another employee for help. However, the joke's on me: there fucking aren't any!

Why is it that every other woman (non-related division) I run into seems to be in a never-ending competition for 'Biggest Twat in the History of Creation'? Is it too much to ask to associate with women who are smart, attentive and not-bad looking? That's not terribly unreasonable, is it?

2011-08-04T13:27:00.002-04:00

It's always somewhat depressing to see 'Going Out of Business' signs on any building, but for a movie/music/reading lover like myself, the depression that sets in at seeing the signs littering a bookstore like Borders is especially indescribable.

While this doesn't hit me quite as hard as FYE's closing last year, it still hurts to think that, soon enough, this place I loved going to will be no more.

And if seeing the outside gets you down, wait until you get inside. Sales galore, but you're just overwhelmed by all the merchandise that's available.

When the inevitable final sale is made, what then? What will become of the location? Will someone utilize the market space for a similar business or (more commonly) will the building just become another vacant eyesore in a city choked with them?

I think I know the answer. I always know.

Pulling a long Con.

2011-07-29T21:17:00.003-04:00

No, this isn't a continuation of last weekend's imaginary trip to Comic-Con...and it's certainly not about how I stalked Suzie Blowjob back to her hometown of Denver and begged her to marry me, only to get the paste squeezed out of me by her two construction worker brothers and their bloodthirsty Akita, Elway.

Now, as I've mentioned quite a bit, I am lazy. It takes me a while to get things done, like clearing out the crap in the inbox of my e-mail account. Part of the job (there are about 390 unread messages, down from this morning's 500+) was completed this morning, but there were a number of messages I wanted to hang on to.

Some of the messages I kept were from Mile High Comics. As I read their e-mails about Comic-Con, certain passages leapt out at me:

4-day passes to this year's show were priced at $105, and were available beginning at last year's preview night. The price has risen to $175 for this 2012, with only 2400 tickets per day being made available at a specially constructed stand in the huge Hyatt hotel next door to the convention center.

A fan who arrived at the Hyatt at 5 AM on Thursday reported to me that he was able to purchase his limit of two passes, but that the hundreds of fans who arrived shortly after 6 AM was sent home empty-handed.

One can't help but think that the people behind the Con want to push people away. I was really looking forward to going to this year's Con (and paying $500 on the secondary market for tickets, another excerpt from the e-mails, was so out of the question as to be laughable). Now, it seems that, unless I'm writing/directing a movie that gets a Hall H spotlight panel (knock on wood), I'll never attend SDCC again, certainly not if this ignorance prevails. Focusing on smaller conventions, such as Wonder Con and New York Comic-Con, seems the way to go for now.

I'd like to close by quoting a man (wise in this context, but not so much in his own): "And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego."

Good news, everyone!

2011-07-26T14:01:00.003-04:00

(...or, at least, the two or three other people who may or may not read this blog. None of you comment on anything remotely resembling a regular basis, so how should I know for sure?)

My new monitor arrived and it works like a charm. Hopefully, this will put an end to my parents' incessant (and unwarranted; it's not like they own the flipping thing) nagging that I put my laptop "in the shop".

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

2011-07-24T14:43:00.001-04:00

The final day of the Con starts with a trip to Marriott Hall 2 for Comic-Con Film School 104: Post-Production and Distribution. It's not enough to make a movie. You have to polish it and put it out there.

Then, it's Room 6A for Cartoon Voices II. I honestly wouldn't mind having a career in voice acting should the whole 'filmmaking' thing not work out. Kind of fortunate that these panels are right next to each other.

Room 7AB hosts the Nickelodeon: The Fairly OddParents: the 10th Anniversary and T.U.F.F. Puppy Year Two panel. Though I think Butch Hartman redeemed himself somewhat with the surprisingly good "A Fairly Odd Movie", the real draw for me is "T.U.F.F. Puppy" which, in spite of the Hartman hallmarks (overexcited voice work, repetitive gags) is pretty funny.

Given that it's Sunday, I wouldn't expect Hall H to be filled to capacity, but, somehow, I don't think that people will fill it up too much for the Cleveland Show panel, allowing me a chance to get in.

Remember what I said a couple paragraphs ago about wanting to be a voice actor? Business of Cartoon Voices (Room 25ABC) might get me a way in. Well, not a concrete one, but what I need to know, which is good enough.

Well, that was fun, but I need to get back to the hotel and check out. What an expensive trip, but, as it was last year, very worthwhile. So many events, so many memories. I can't wait to do it again next year...FOR REALS!

In a Saturdaze.

2011-07-23T14:38:00.001-04:00

Dreamt about that girl. Nice that she gave me an unforgettable ride, but I know I'll never see her again. You know the drill: Continental breakfast, shuttle bus, Marriott Hall 2 for Comic-Con Film School 103: Working with Actors and a Crew. Just what it says on the tin. I'd like to digress a moment and say that I hope I never get anyone mad enough to inflict violence or not want to work with me when I make movies. Of course, with my Kubrick-lite taskmastery, it won't be easy.

To the Convention Center to gather some snapshots and autographs in Sails Pavilion, then to Ballroom 20 for Futurama. "The Silence of the Clamps" has recently become one of my favorite Comedy Central episodes. Then, quick like a bunny to Room 6BCF for Cartoon Voices. I will never cease to be enamored of the magic that voice artists work in the recording booth.

(Not quite Sophie's Choice, but it stinks that I'll be missing panels on The Simpsons (Ballroom 20), Family Guy (ditto) and, most damagingly of all, Community (Indigo Ballroom, Hilton San Diego Bayfront). Curse my sister for getting me into that show. It's so damned funny!)

I'll have to duck out early to make it to the American Dad panel in Ballroom 20. (Yes, it's on Saturday, now!) It'd be a treat to get to see a panel for Seth MacFarlane's best show. Period. After that, a stop at Sails Pavilion to get a picture, an autograph, something from James Hong.

Following that, the day's pretty much a blur of seeing the city and looking for lunch in all the wrong (read: crowded) places. Then, storm the Exhibit Hall. T-shirts, posters, comic books, soundtracks (from LaLaLand Records, not that joker who sells CD-Rs for moronically hiked prices)...the sky's the limit.

Even though Michael Giacchino can't make it (and with six scores this year, can you blame him?), I'll definitely check out Behind the Music with CW3PR: Composing Horror to Animation and Everything in Between. Granted, the biggest name there now is Ramin Djawadi, but hey, it's film music.

Not really interested in tonight's Hall H and Ballroom 20 Panel Playback (though Knights of Badassdom sounds somewhat promising), so I'll just go to Room 8's The Art of the Hollywood Movie Poster and Room 9's Can DIY Filmmaking Replace Hollywood? Selling Your Own Damn Movie Without Selling Your Soul!. Good night, all.

Second leg of my tour.

2011-07-22T14:36:00.001-04:00

And so, here we are on Friday. After a decent night's sleep (save for the mild tossing and turning over whether or not to follow that cute girl that winked at me as I got off the elevator), I head down to wait for the shuttle bus. Ah, these people are so lucky, getting to wear shorts twelve months of the year.

I get to the convention center, bypassing it for Marriott Hall 2 once again for Comic-Con Film School 102: Production, in the hopes of better understanding what goes into making a movie...and, perhaps, making some connections in the bargain.

Huh. There's a panel in Hall H: Paramount: The Adventures of Tintin. They say that the film's director, Steven Spielberg (yes, the director of Always and 1941), is stopping by. Son of a bee sting. Maybe, I'd better aim a little lower. Oh, cool. There's a Spotlight on Patrick McDonnell in Room 5AB. As I'm sure I've made clear before, I love "Mutts". One of the best comic strips currently running. To meet him (and get an autograph on the "Mutts" collection I snagged from Borders a short while back) would make my day.

(Of course, this would mean that I'll miss the Nickelodeon & Dreamworks Animation: Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness panel in Room 6A. I truly hope the show premieres soon. What I saw of the show at the panel last year was quite enjoyable. Also, even though Kung Fu Panda 2 wasn't the monster hit it deserved to be, it'd be a shame to just sit on this show...especially since it seems that KFP3 is so obviously in the offing.)

Then, it's off to be starstruck in Room 6BCF for the Legendary (wait for it!) Pictures: Preproduction Preview panel: Jeff Bridges! Bradley Cooper! Idris Elba! Guillermo Del Toro! Alex Proyas! And many more!

Roaming around the Exhibit Hall and picking up a quick bite will lead me to the Indigo Ballroom for Adult Swim: Black Dynamite. I'm anxious to see the show and if it can be just as much ridiculous fun as the movie. Back to the Convention Center for more wandering and, hopefully, snapping some shots of cosplayers (I'm still miffed about missing a shot of the two cosplayers dressed as Kuzco and Pacha from The Emperor's New Groove last year).

Room 23ABC. Comedy Central: Ugly Americans. The new season is cracking me up so far. There are a number of panels I could head to from this point, such as The Art of the Comic Strip (Room 24ABC), to hear more from Patrick McDonnell, CBLDF: Can Comics Send You to Jail? (Room 26AB), to learn about the 1984-ish nonsense involving how having comic art on your person can land you in hot water or The Hub: Batman: 45th Anniversary of the Original Series (Room 23ABC) to see Adam West, Burt Ward and Julie Newmar.

However, my heart belongs to Room 6DE, for they will be hosting Rifftrax Live - Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett. Still, the best (and funniest) panel I attended last year.

As was done yesterday, Room 25ABC will be hosting the Hall H and Ballroom 20 Panel Playback. The primary things holding my interest are the Sony panel and the bits on Fright Night and Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (which is finally seeing a release this year). A better ratio than last night, but I think I'll flip a coin. Who knows where that will lead? Ah, to hell with it. I might get to hear some cool stuff from the "Big Bang Theory" and "True Blood" panelists.

Back to my hotel. I get on the elevator...whoa. That girl I dreamt about...she's sucking me off right here. She doesn't care about the cameras, does she? Ohhhhhh. That felt good. Lucky thing we're the only people riding this car. (What? It's an imaginary trip. I'm not allowed to have some fun?!)

Leaving my heart in San Diego.

2011-07-21T14:37:00.003-04:00

It sucks unprecedented amounts of ass that the closest I'll get to San Diego Comic-Con this year is seeing it recreated in the first reel of Paul. (I'm serious; bad things are imminent if the ticketing situation isn't improved for next year's Con.)

The schedule, as per tradition, has been announced for this year's Con. Having tasted the nectar of the Gods, I'm gonna do something a little different this year. Instead of listing the interesting panels, I'm gonna map out an imaginary trip based on the schedule that's been posted.

First of all, I think that I'd have ended up in a hotel a little closer to the Convention Center (nothing against the place I stayed at last year; I just think that I'd like a fighting chance at running into some celebs on the way to my room). I'd certainly have to leave early, maybe grab a bagel with a shmear of cream cheese and a glass of juice just before hopping the shuttle bus to the Con.

Then I get there. Avoiding the 'Ooooh! Ahhhh!', I'd make my way to Marriott Hall 2 at the Marriott Marquis and Marina for Comic-Con Film School 101: Pre-Production and Screenwriting. The filmmaking thing is still a dream of mine and maybe, I can pick up some pointers on crafting a good story (I have a number of them in the works...perhaps, too many; I have this thing for focusing on too much at one time, ensuring a long time before anything gets done). Though I'd feel bad about it (and remorseful at missing out on a few key tips), I'd skip out early to head for the Convention Center's Room 6A for Oh, You Sexy Geek!. Maybe, just maybe, it'd be a chance to make the acquaintance of some cute girl geeks.

No time to take in the sighs of the Exhibit Hall or grab a bite to eat (yet), for it's off to the Hilton San Diego Bayfront, Indigo Ballroom, for a Focus on Rick Baker. The chance to hear the make-up maestro talk about his career, spanning four decades, most recently his Oscar-winning work on the underrated The Wolfman, is too good to pass up.

Back to the Convention Center and Room 23ABC. The panel? Nickelodeon and Dreamworks Animation: The Penguins of Madagascar: The Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole. Last year's panel was a delight, and it would('ve) be(en) nice to see some new episodes of the show.

Nothing too intriguing for the next hour, so I may as well roam around the booths of Exhibit Hall and grab some lunch. Damn, I forgot just how vast this area was. Better put a timer on so I don't forget where I'd like to go soon.

Damn, damn, damn! Two terrific panels, but which to go to? State of the Art Geek Report: From Avatar to Zardoz or Classic Warner Bros./Hanna-Barbera Cartoons Going Blu-Ray? I flip a coin. Best of three. Heads. Tails. Tails. I go to the Geek Report panel anyway. It's in Room 5AB, so I better haul shell. If nothing else, I imagine there'd be a pretty neat collusion of ideas. (Meanwhile, I stew a little bit at missing out on Daniel Licht at the The Character of Music with BMI and White Bear PR panel and telling him how much I love his Thinner score.)

Geezus H. Whiz. There's nothing piquing my interest for the next few hours. May as well get out and see the city. Of course, I want to get back to the Sails Pavilion and chat up the one and only Patrick Warburton.

Inside the Voice Actors Studio in Room 30CDE. If the filmmaking thing somehow doesn't work out, I think I'd fall back on voice acting. I might even get the chance to do some ADR at this panel. Then it's off to Room 5AB in the hopes of Writing Movies for ~~Fun and~~ Profit (that's the actual title of the book, BTW). The book (and panel) promises to be a sardonic look by Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant at how to break into the business and sell out. I have no problem with selling out. There's integrity and then there's keeping the lights on.

The Con has come up with an interesting gimmick for this year: a summary of the big panels one may have missed out on in the hallowed Hall H and Ballroom 20. Hall H and Ballroom 20 Panel Playback (in Room 25ABC). It might be worth it to check out the USA Network and Robert Rodriguez panels, but I'm not too crazy about the Showtime or Game of Thrones panels. (Yeah. Boo, hiss.)

Then, it's onto the shuttle bus, likely with all kinds of swag on the way to a long night's sleep...unless, I overhear about some cool party being thrown. I don't know.

2011-07-19T22:17:00.001-04:00

Just here on the family computer for no real reason than to spend time on a computer bigger than my hand. Can't wait until that new monitor gets here.

2011-07-15T22:12:00.005-04:00

I haven't been posting in a while. Yes. Alert the media, because that certainly never happens. But, wait. It's not because of (laziness/apathy/other). Settle in, 'cause it's a long fucking story.

For well over a year, the screen on my laptop has shown a distinct pinkish hue. (Sidebar: have you ever tried to look at pink and green on a pink screen. Like ants at a picnic.) I dealt with it, but then, about a week ago (or maybe, it was a month; I can't remember), the screen cut out. Completely black. I adjusted the screen, fanning it like crazy and it showed, but I had to be careful not to 'rock the boat', as it were.

Cut to Wednesday night. The screen is completely black, and no amount of fanning can bring it back. As you can imagine, for a net junkie like me, this is intensely frustrating.

The next day, I take the laptop to a specialist who tells me that I need a new motherboard for my laptop...though he also tells me that I can use an external monitor to see the screen.

After many aborted attempts at trying to obtain one over the last 24 hours, I stumble onto one...on ebay...for a reasonable price...in an auction ending while I'm on my break. Too neat? I'll take it! Problem is that it takes 6-10 business days to arrive (in other words, week after next-ish).

This kind of puts a crimp in a great plan I had for next week. Still, it'll be nice to get back onto my computer - with a normal screen - in the near future. (BTW, this was sent from my T-Mobile phone. It's starting to pay for itself.)

2011-07-10T22:43:00.002-04:00

Continued from yesterday, but sampled today:

Fudge Brownie Dream (Nitro Magic Ice Cream) - There's something to be said for broadening one's horizons (and eating dessert firest), for this was great ice cream.

Chicken Mug Pie (BW's Barbecue) - Too small a portion, but a nice take on Chicken Pot Pie.

Lobster Crab Dip (Jack Astor's Bar and Grill) - Served with nachos. I could not get enough of it.

Chocolate Brownie (Zebb's Deluxe Bar and Grill) - One more for the road.

Pastellios (Kensington Avenue Pizza Inc.) - Good filling, crispy shell, tangy dipping sauce. Just about perfect.

Mango Smoothie (Clarence Center Coffee Co. and Cafe) - A big improvement over the Oreo Smoothie; rich and delightful.

French Fries (Encore Restaurant) - Just as delicious and unusual as they were last year.

Tangerine Ice Cream (Nick Charlap's Ice Cream) - I wanted to try something a little different and I was not disappointed.

Well...can't wait for next year.

2011-07-09T19:25:00.003-04:00

Given the grease-like texture left on my fingers and how tired I was after all the food I ate, live blogging from the Taste of Buffalo, as had been my original plan today, was pure folly. Also, for some reason, several businesses utilized banana peppers in their meals. I guess none of them got the message that banana peppers are totally gross. Here (several hours after the fact) is my summary of what I ate:

Spanish Rice w/Pigeon Peas (Papi's Family Restaurant) - For a 'healthy option' dish, this was delicious; the right spices enlivened what should've been a plain rice dish.

Shrimp and Crab Spring Roll (Papaya Restaurant) - Quite tasty, with or without the dipping sauce.

Potato Cheddar Casserole (Carmine's Restaurant) - Could've used a bit more salt, but an enjoyable side.

Lobster Bacon Mac and Cheese (Paring's Wine Bar) - Good enough, but I could barely taste the lobster.

Boneless Buffalo Wings (Zebb's Deluxe Bar and Grill) - I should know better than to get seduced by the spiciness of Buffalo flavor, but these wings were tasty.

Chocolate Brownie (Zebb's Deluxe Bar and Grill) - I can never resist a good brownie. I've had two today.

Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cream Pie (Danny's Restaurant) - If not for the previous item, the best dessert the Taste has to offer.

Jack's Garlic Pan Bread (Jack Astor's Bar and Grill) - Thankfully, I only had a taste (a smaller portion than usual). The bread is too rich to be savored as a full meal.

Oreo Milkshake (Clarence Center Coffee Co. and Cafe) - Not a bad way to end the day, but not too remarkable.

Even with the caveats I mentioned, I'm still going back tomorrow. I've quite a few tickets left.

2011-07-03T21:41:00.005-04:00

Okay, so I'm watching "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street", a classic "Twilight Zone" episode. It gets to the end when all hell has broken loose. Rod Serling offers his (sadly) still-timely end monologue...but before he can finish it, the screen gets shoved off - shoved off! - to offer a brief promo for one of the Syfy Channel's new shows. It's bad enough when the end credits get smooshed to promote their shows, because they certainly don't run ads for them during every commercial break, but they fucking crossed a line here!

I mean, do the people in charge of the network even fucking watch "The Twilight Zone"?! Those pillow biters have some serious karmic payback coming.

2011-06-29T08:49:00.002-04:00

Much like TV Tropes or a really good movie review site, you can find yourself wasting more time on Buzzfeed than you anticipated. For example, I've clicked through several links on Buzzfeed (including "Unrequited Bulldog Love" and "My Little Serenity"...don't judge me) to get to an article (well, more a series of pictures) on "30 Airline Meals from Around the World".

As I scanned through the various meals (all of which I'd love to sample, BTW), I was reminded of Del's spiel about the various meals he partakes of in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. I may have said this before, but I remembered seeing the scene in the USA Network airing of the film and was disheartened to find it wasn't in the finished film. Thankfully, the scene is included as an extra in the film's "Those Aren't Pillows!" Special Edition DVD.

Peter Falk (1927-2011)

2011-06-24T22:54:00.001-04:00

Yet another obituary where I reveal my ignorance by talking about what I haven't seen the deceased in, such as "Columbo" and the films of John Cassavetes.

However, I will remember him as the wisecracking Sam Diamond in Murder by Death and the wise, storytelling grandfather in The Princess Bride:

"As you wish", indeed. He shall be missed.

There is no such thing as 'later on'.

2011-06-23T16:13:00.005-04:00

Allow me to explain: say that you happen upon a comic in an out-of-the-way comic shop with a prologue that, save for a couple of details, was written just for you. You're anxious to read the comic, but, for whatever reason, you decide to get it 'later on'. Cut to a few days later and you return to the shop, anxious to read more, only to find that the comic is gone.

I'm here to tell you that 'later on' is a dirty, fucking lie we tell ourselves to maintain the delusion of good spending habits or self-control. "Huh, there's a cute girl at the bar. Should I talk to her? Nah. She'll be there later on." Don't believe the hype. Life is to be enjoyed as soon (and as much) as possible, not 'later on'.

Some kind of Green-themed pun.

2011-06-21T09:17:00.003-04:00

Okay, just once, once can we (the collective, internet 'we') all turn on a movie that deserves to be persecuted, villified, crucified and spat upon, 'cause Green Lantern was not that movie.

Riddled with problems? Yes. (What was up with the helicopter/Hot Wheels track?) Unwatchable? Not even. The bar was set pretty high by Thor and X-Men: First Class, and though it fell short, I liked it.

Prior to seeing this, I'd heard about the comic take on the character that Warner Bros. pursued some years ago that would've seen Jack Black in the role. I read the script last night, but judge for yourself. As far as I'm concerned, anyone who thinks that this version would've been better needs to lay off the airplane glue.

It's not easy being Green.

2011-06-16T18:44:00.002-04:00

(I'm pretty sure I've used that title before at this blog, but I'm too damn lazy to check.)

Apparently, Green Lantern, if reports are to be believed, cost a record $300 million. Add to that the less-than-complimentary reviews it's been getting and you have a potential recipe for souffle de l'off at Warner Bros., which is a shame, since I was hoping that this would be a worthwhile film. Reports of an extra $9 million spent on visual effects should've been a red flag. Then again, I'm the kind of guy that stares into the 'this movie is shit' Hollywood abyss and, with Al Bundian insouciance, states, 'Let's rock'.

If not for the last Harry Potter film and The Hangover: Yeah, It's the Exact Same Movie, But What Can You Do? Your Money is Now Our Money and We Will Spend it on Drugs. Fuck You! Love, Warner Bros., the bath the studio would take for the summer would be massive.

And in case you missed it...

2011-06-12T19:27:00.000-04:00

Here are the winners for my personal MTV Movie Awards ballot:

best on-screen duo:
Denzel Washington and Chris Pine, Unstoppable

best action sequence:
storming the compound, Kick-Ass

best comedic performance:
Rob Corddry, Hot Tub Time Machine

best villain:
Ned Beatty, Toy Story 3

best breakthrough performance - male:
Andrew Garfield, The Social Network

best breakthrough performance - female:
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit

best dance sequence:
Nina does Swan Lake, Black Swan

best female performance:
Natalie Portman, Black Swan

best male performance:
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network

best fight:
Danny Trejo vs. Steven Seagal, Machete

best kiss:
Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page, Inception

best movie:
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

And not a single Twilight nod or "I wanna get chocolate wasted!" to offend the eye. You're welcome.

Random thoughts - the last couple of days.

2011-06-07T20:53:00.002-04:00

(Just ignore the two posts below this one...and, no, I don't feel like deleting them.)

- Had the Tortilla Scramble at IHOP yesterday. Holy piss. This may well outstrip last year's Loaded Minion Taters breakfast...and that one had tater tots in it. Tater tots!

- While waiting for a seat (and enjoying my meal), I caught sight of a heavenly pair of hooters. Of course, some chick didn't flash me, but the top she wore left little to the imagination (i.e. cleavage for days).

- Apparently, Borders is on its way out. Everything must go and all that. My indecisiveness caused me to waste more time than I expected and I only ended up getting a "Mutts" collection. (Hopefully, I can be more organized the next time I stop by.)

- 'Apparently', part two: Papa Johns doesn't sell pizza by the slice. I'd still like to eat there someday...and is it too much to ask to get a Sonic in this town?!

- Saw X-Men: First Class today. Matthew Vaughn continues to be awesome. That is all. Also, the cameos brought a smile to my face.

If only I could feel this happy on work days...

2011-06-05T13:02:00.001-04:00

Due to bullshit about not being able to reach anyone (my folks, not me), the trip didn't happen.

2011-06-04T12:41:00.001-04:00

Just killing time before I can go out and get new batteries for my watch (granted, it only needs the one, but it never hurts to be prepared).

2011-05-29T23:35:00.002-04:00

Been purusing the menu at Denny's for 'Baconalia'. Bacon with breakfast? Okay. Bacon meatloaf? Sounds intriguing. Bacon in pancakes? A little nutty, but all right. Maple Bacon Sundae?

"Everybody knows, when the cold wind blows..."

2011-05-24T19:53:00.005-04:00

It's taken me a long-ass time, but here it is. Instead of a big, involved write-up, here (just in time for the film's 20th anniversary, is a list of things I love about Hudson Hawk:

- The fact that William Conrad (in spite of what sounds like the result of an unfortunate stroke) did the narration. It's as if the filmmakers knew their movie was a live-action cartoon, so why not hire the narrator from "The Bullwinkle Show"?

- I'm not the biggest fan of composer Michael Kamen (it's not that I don't like his music; it's just that I feel that there are better composers), but his score is a delight, and the opening cue ("Leonardo" on the woefully brief Varese Sarabande soundtrack) starts things off nicely, interweaving the title song, an ascending melody for the soon-to-be-purloined treasures and another melody that I'll get to soon.

- The cut between the flying machine in action and the hawk flying outside the prison. I just love filmmaking tricks like that.

- The camaraderie between Bruce Willis and Danny Aiello. One can really believe they're long-time friends.

- You guessed it...Frank Stallone. ("Directions even your brother can understand.")

- "If the Mario Brothers weren't New Jersey's third-largest crime family, I'd say 'Kiss my ass', but, considering your status, I will say 'Slurp my butt'."

- A cappucino gets shot at and Antony Mario gets a bottle of vino over the head...and no one is fazed by this at all. Interesting neighborhood.

- "That's a hell of a lot of Wong numbers." and the accompanying music.

- "You know, they invented something while you were inside. It's called a watch." Seriously, that's a neat gag: timing the robberies to classic songs.

- The jump. From falling off a building to landing in a recliner in Gates' apartment. Did Hawk fall through a hole in the space-time continuum? If so, why would it lead to Gates' place? As I've said before, this is where most viewers would check out, but I found it amusing.

- The spinning POV of Alfred's knife. Again, I love tricks like this. Also, how much do you think weapons like that would cost?

- "So much for his cut." An obvious pun, but very funny.

- "I bet you went up to Mrs. Lincoln at Ford's Theater and asked, 'How was the show? Did I miss anything?'." Good line.

- That theme I failed to mention earlier? The flying theme, which doubles as the love theme. Don't know why, but it works.

- Awesome product placement for candy bars. I like how the suits of the Candy Bars match their respective candies.

- For all the contempt that Richard E. Grant has for this movie (and perhaps, justifiably; I haven't yet read "With Nails"), he and Sandra Bernhard are a riot, chewing up every last bit of scenery.

- Hawk getting smacked by the flying horse...as if Tri-Star knew subconsciously that this film would be a black eye for them.

- "Ewww. menthol." One of several great cartoony gags.

- Hawk, on the gurney, tosses exact change into the toll booth and gets through. Another terrific gag.

- The delayed response to the needles in Antony's face, like they forgot that the needles were in there.

- James Coburn as George Kaplan. His menace and gravitas makes a fine contrast to the (entertaining, don't get me wrong) hamming of Grant and Bernhard.

- "My employer wants a meeting." "Your employer? The President?" "No. Somebody powerful." Obvious, but very funny.

- The car with a fax machine and a paper shredder. Very convenient.

- The entire blackmail scene. So quotable and ridiculous ("Damn Fotomat assholes.").

- I love a good threat in a movie (Nine to Five, Greedy) and Hudson Hawk does not disappoint: "It's one thing to play hide-and-seek with the Mayflowers' pathetic staff, but we're sore losers. We blow up space shuttles for breakfast. You and your friend Tommy would be nothing more than a late-afternoon Triscuit."

- The Codex heist, mainly for the way Hawk pulls it off. Not exactly sure what the stamps were for, though.

- "Catholic girls are scary." Just a great, ridiculous line.

- The whole scene of Hawk being chastised by Darwin and Minerva, capped off by a terrific line ("I always did want to sing like Frankie Valli.").

- "Alchemy is the business term of the nineties, my man. Minerva read about it in an airline magazine about four years ago." So, in 1987, it was predicted that alchemy would be the business term of the nineties. Ooookay.

- "I'll torture you so slowly, you'll think it's a career."

- "I really wish I could come up with this glib repartee the way you can..." So do we all.

- Snickers framing Hawk and Tommy like a picture after the curare takes effect. Just a weird, fun touch.

- The bomb launchers. Don't we wish we all had one?

- A trio of great lines, delivered beautifully by Bernhard: "Darwin, this is supposed to be torture, not therapy.", "The dolphin is dead. The dolphin is...come on, you bitch!" and "If you see the Big Guy, tell Him He's a loser."

- The five tones when Tommy punches Darwin. Another neat touch.

- "Dead!". There was actually someone at IMDb who wondered if this meant 'My best friend is dead because of you' or 'You're a dead man, Darwin!'. Obviously, it's the latter.

- The combined monologue the Mayflowers have. It goes from pointed ("Every schmoe has the fantasy that the planet revolves around them.") to absurd ("If Da Vinci were alive today, he'd be eating microwave sushi, naked in the back of a Cadillac with the both of us.").

- "Won't be attending that hat convention in July!" is up there with "I've come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum." as one of my all-time favorite movie lines.

- Hawk and Anna escape from Da Vinci's castle...and suddenly, it's daytime. That's weird.

- "Yeah! That's probably what happened!" A good way to wrap the movie up, I think.

- And two end credit tidbits: the camera assistant was Florian Ballhaus (The Devil Wears Prada), son of Michael Ballhaus (Air Force One), who was originally going to shoot this movie. Also, the visual effects camera operator was Pete Kozachik, who would shoot Coraline for Henry Selick.

Don't know what more to say than please give this movie a chance. It holds up very well.

2011-05-22T19:18:00.002-04:00

Well...I guess we're all still here.

Seriously, as 6 o'clock rolled around last night as I was mowing the lawn, I felt like I was in a "Twilight Zone" episode waiting for Rod Serling's voice to wrap everything up.

Looks like I need to change things for the better. One of the ways in which this will be accomplished: revisiting a screenplay I had back-burnered some time ago. It's a romantic comedy with a twist that I once described as "My Best Friend's Wedding taken to its most logical conclusion". Funnily enough, I've managed to catch bits and pieces of My Best Friend's Wedding in at least 20 airings since the month began.

Okay, there's coincidence, and then there's a giant smack in the face.

2011-05-19T23:15:00.002-04:00

Given that "no one will know the day or time", maybe we're all making too much of this 'the rapture on May 21st' thing.

If it does happen...fine, it happens.

If it doesn't...perhaps this is the kick in the ass I need to change my life.

2011-05-17T19:54:00.002-04:00

So, dig this: I stumbled onto a theory that posits that the world will end on May 21st of this year.

Just like the world to end before I can get laid. Fucking cocksuckery.

2011-05-13T18:54:00.001-04:00

You ever have one of those days where, overwhelmed and frustrated with a) the insane workload and b) the stupidity of the people by whom you're surrounded, you use your break to go to the restroom and snap one off?

Sure you have.

Don't lie.

"I can't believe my ears that look like fins on my back."

2011-05-09T23:53:00.003-04:00

Today was something of a trying day (the kind of day where things actually got better when I went to work), but this nugget of news makes it worthwhile:

An actual DVD release of "The Angry Beavers"!

BTW, the subject line comes from a 3rd season episode, the uproarious "Slap Happy", but it seemed so perfect.

Summer movie preview.

2011-05-06T09:51:00.001-04:00

Well...let's do it again.

May

Thor - Much like how Will Smith was the king of the 4th of July, now Marvel is the king of the first weekend in May...or something. In any event, this adaptation of the comic (directed by Kenneth Branagh, of all people) looks fun and I can't wait to hear Patrick Doyle's score (honestly, I thought he'd be replaced).

Something Borrowed - Ginnifer Goodwin rekindles the flames of passion with Colin Egglesfield. Unfortunately, he's engaged to her good friend Kate Hudson. Sounds less strident than most Hudson comedies, but it's still nothing I want to see.

Jumping the Broom - You know how it is: two people fall in love, but their families don't get along for whatever reason, like class differences (such as here). A lot of fine performers here, but I'm not very interested.

The Beaver - In a role I'm sure he had to stretch for, Mel Gibson is a man who - after having lost everything, namely his mind - finds his way back to the light via a beaver puppet.

Bridesmaids - Kristen Wiig stars in (and co-wrote) this story of bridesmaids prepping for Maya Rudolph's wedding. Looks amusing enough.

Priest - From the director of Legion comes an adaptation of a graphic novel. Given certain moments in his films (namely the 'conducting while shit explodes' bit), I'm forced to ask: does this Scott Stewart guy not know the meaning of 'camp'? I mean, really.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Jack Sparrow is back, vying with Blackbeard (Ian McShane!) to find the Fountain of Youth. This promises to be the shortest Pirates movie yet, clocking in at a brisk two hours and twenty minutes. I liked the first three and I doubt the streak will be broken.

The Hangover Part II - The guys don't lose Doug, but they do lose Stu's fiancee's brother...in Thailand. Oh, the wackiness! I found the first film overrated, but this looks okay, though I fear that this will subscribe to the 'more is more' law of sequels (that used condom gag from the first movie still makes me cringe).

Kung Fu Panda 2 - And speaking of sequels... The continuing adventures of Po and the Furious Five. Can't wait.

Everything Must Go - Will Ferrell has lost everything: his job, his marriage, his home. What can he do? Looks to be a fascinating return to Stranger Than Fiction territory.

June

X-Men: First Class - The prologue to the X-Men saga set in the 1960s. From the director of Kick-Ass and Stardust, so my ass is as good as there.

Super 8 - In between Star Trek movies, J.J. Abrams hearkens back to the 1980s with a Spielbergian tale of mystery and wonder...or something.

Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer - A girl hopes to get the most out of summer, aided by her brother and her kooky aunt (Heather Graham). Not really my thing, but it looks okay.

Green Lantern - In brightest day, in blackest night, Ryan Reynolds embraces the lantern's light. Looks better and better the more I see of it.

Mr. Popper's Penguins - Jim Carrey surrounds himself with animals once again, but it's not an Ace Ventura sequel? There's a Chinese riddle for you.

Cars 2 - How can there be a sequel to Cars, but not to, say, The Incredibles? "Moichandising! Where the real money from the movie is made!" This looks like fun.

Bad Teacher - Despite coming from the jackholes behind Year One, this film looks hilarious. The cast of ringers (including Marshall from "How I Met Your Mother", Hot Fuzz's Eve Draper and Gibby from "iCarly") helps.

July

Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Given that Megan Fox is out and a new chick (a foreigner, much like the 'other' girls from the first two films) is in, this might be the first Transformers movie I pay money to see...emphasis on 'might'.

Larry Crowne - Tom Hanks returns to the director's seat (and comedy) with this story of a man who goes to college and falls for one of his professors (Julia Roberts).

Monte Carlo - Presumably a remake of How to Marry a Millionaire, with Selena Gomez and the crazy chick from The Roommate filling in for Marilyn Monroe and Lauren Bacall. No, I don't know how that works.

The Zookeeper - To win veternarian Rosario Dawson, titular zookeeper Kevin James gets schooled by the animals of whom he watches. Somehow, I think this Happy Madison production will be closer to Racing Stripes than Babe.

Horrible Bosses - Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day are at their wits end with their...unpleasant job supervisors. The script made me laugh, and hopefully, the film will follow suit.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 - The very last chapter of the series. That's all I got.

Winnie the Pooh - Yet another Disney feature about the silly ol' bear in the Hundred Acre Wood.

Captain America: the First Avenger - Marvel's last strike against our wallets this summer gives us the story of...the first avenger. News that Alan Silvestri was scoring this was just the antidote to this year's pathetically rigged Best Score Oscar.

Friends with Benefits - Even though it shares the same plotline and stars Jackie instead of Kelso, this is definitely not No Strings Attached.

Cowboys and Aliens - In yet another one of those cases of an inexplicable, obsfucating title, Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig go up against an unusual menace.

Crazy, Stupid, Love - Romantic drama starring Steve Carell, Julianne Moore and Ryan Gosling. From the directors of the underrated I Love You, Phillip Morris.

The Smurfs - The director of Scooby-Doo attempts to work the same magic on the little blue creatures with the maddening theme song. And Hank Azaria as Gargamel? Total Nightmare Fuel.

August

Rise of the Planet of the Apes - A prequel that posits how the damn, dirty apes came into being.

The Change-up - Michael Bluth switches bodies with the Green Lantern to pursue Olivia Wilde. 'Bout time we had another body-swap comedy, but imagine how much more interesting this would be if it was a gender-swap comedy.

30 Minutes or Less - A plot summary doesn't really do justice, so suffice it to say that a lowlife ropes a pizza delivery guy into his scheme of making it in the world. One of the most entertaining scripts I've ever read.

The Help - Emma Stone does drama as a young woman in 1960s Mississippi who befriends housemaids Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer. Peculiar release date for an awards-bait picture like this.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - The remake of the TV movie was pushed back some time. Who knows if this will start a trend? (TV-movies remade for the big screen, not movies being pushed back; that will always be in fashion)

Fright Night - Yet another horror remake, but this one holds great promise, if the script I read is anything to go by. Also, how can one do better than Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Evil Ed?

Conan the Barbarian - A new adaptation from the director of the remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th, starring some model and with music by Tyler Bates. I can't help but be unenthused.

Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World - Though I enjoy Robert Rodriguez's adult fare more than his kids' movies, maybe this latest chapter will turn out good. After all, there's a '4' in it.

Final Destination 5 - Yes, they're making it and it's in 3D. God help me, I'll probably end up seeing it.

Our Idiot Brother - In an interesting change of pace, Paul Rudd is the title character, a layabout who upends the lives of his photogenic sisters (Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer). Amusing trailer.

The other awards show on the Jersey Shore network.

2011-05-05T11:15:00.000-04:00

Because the actual nominations for this year's MTV Movie Awards are so goddamned stupid (A nomination for the Grown Ups line, "I wanna get chocolate wasted!"?! Really?!), here's my annual ballot.

best on-screen duo:
Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis, Hall Pass
Asthon Kutcher and Katherine Heigl, Killers
Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg, The Other Guys
Nicolas Cage and Jay Baruchel, The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Denzel Washington and Chris Pine, Unstoppable

best action sequence:
flying the tank, The A-Team
storming the compound, Kick-Ass
"Outstanding.", The Losers
attack on the lake, Piranha 3D
escaping Fenway Park, The Town

best comedic performance:
Jemaine Clement, Dinner for Schmucks
Sharlto Copley, The A-Team
Rob Corddry, Hot Tub Time Machine
Kieran Culkin, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Will Ferrell, Megamind

best villain:
Ned Beatty, Toy Story 3
Walt Dohrn, Shrek Forever After
Danny Huston, The Warrior's Way
Mickey Rourke, Iron Man 2
Jason Schwartzman, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

best breakthrough performance - male:
Jay Chou, The Green Hornet
Andrew Garfield, The Social Network
Armie Hammer, The Social Network
Oscar Jaeneda, The Losers
Aaron Johnson, Kick-Ass

best breakthrough performance - female:
Rooney Mara, The Social Network
Chloe Moretz, Kick-Ass
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
Mia Wasikowska, Alice in Wonderland
Ellen Wong, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

best dance sequence:
the Futterwacken, Alice in Wonderland
Nina does Swan Lake, Black Swan
the knife tango, The Warrior's Way

best female performance:
Helena Bonham Carter, Alice in Wonderland
Chloe Moretz, Kick-Ass
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
Emma Stone, Easy A

best male performance:
Jeff Bridges, True Grit
Jim Carrey, I Love You, Phillip Morris
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King's Speech
Harrison Ford, Morning Glory

best fight:
Sylvester Stallone vs. Steve Austin, The Expendables
Robert Downey Jr. vs. Don Cheadle, Iron Man 2
Jeffrey Dean Morgan vs. Zoe Saldana, The Losers
Danny Trejo vs. Steven Seagal, Machete
Michael Cera vs. Jason Schwartzman, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

best kiss:
Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Zac Efron and Amanda Crew, Charlie St. Cloud
Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried, Chloe
Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page, Inception
Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

best movie:
Black Swan
Inception
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
The Social Network
Toy Story 3

2011-04-30T12:55:00.001-04:00

I posted my script to ScriptFrenzy. I really struggled to finish this one, mainly because my heart wasn't completely in this draft. The next one I write for this will be much better.

2011-04-24T10:06:00.001-04:00

Currently on my break. Yes, we're open, today. Why?! "Oh, I need to do last-minute shopping for Easter dinner."

Tough titty toenails, and I think that Jesus Christ himself would agree...and in that exact phrasing.

30 is a dangerous age.

2011-04-22T22:15:00.003-04:00

Well, not really. I've only been 30 for roughly a day now, and so far, things have been going well. This comes from of a movie title. However, I'm at an age where I ought to be doing (or have done) a lot more with my life than I already have. I've been told that I need to take a chance, but I'm no good with that.

Perhaps, I've said (far too often) what I want to do, but don't. I really have nothing to say and nothing to show for it...except this:

Since the ScriptFrenzy site is being a total twat right now, I'll just update the totals I've made it to in the last couple days.

21st - 75
22nd - 80
23rd - 83

2011-04-18T14:06:00.002-04:00

It's snowing.

Allow me to repeat that:

It's snowing! In the middle of April!

Seriously, who is the retarded asshole who allowed that to happen?!

2011-04-15T12:58:00.004-04:00

Every so often, I run across a cutie that I smile at, but (as ever) I lack the guts to say more than necessary (i.e. "Hello."; "Could I get onion rings with that?").

This week, two such girls crossed my field-of-vision:

- Tuesday, at Hot Dog Heaven (they're not just for Rosenberg and Goldstein, anymore), a brunette took my order. I forgot her name, unfortunately.

- Just today at work, I cashed a check for a redhaired girl (very appealing in a girl-next-door kind of way). When I say 'girl', I mean 'girl'; she's a mere two and a half weeks away from being old enough to vote. Good things are worth waiting for.

Footnote: the redhead's name is Kimberly Ann. I wonder if she's a cheerleader...

2011-04-14T20:32:00.001-04:00

Was just watching "Community" for the second time ever. I can't believe what I've been missing.

Starstruck.

2011-04-09T22:47:00.002-04:00

I cannot tell you how much I've missed over the years because I had to work. I, literally, can't; my memory isn't as sharp as I'd like it to be.

And yet, through some peculiar cosmic alliance, I had the day off today. This allowed me to...

- ...finally file my tax return. I went to my old church to make this happen. As I mentioned earlier, my mom decided to claim me as a dependent on her tax return. Because of my age, she can't do that. Unfortunately, she already filed her return, forcing me to go with the adjusted return. As it turns out, I, for the first time in my life, owe money to the government, not the other way around. I'm upset by this, of course, but (like so much I'm upset about in life) I can't do a goddamn thing about it, so I'll just send off the money.

- ...see Your Highness. Not as laugh-out-loud as Land of the Lost, but pretty funny.

- ...attend the tribute to William Fichtner. He was the first honoree for our town's Walk of Fame. I watched as his star was unveiled and he provided his signature and prints for a cement square. My photography skills left something to be desired, but I got some good shots. Then, I went to wait for an autograph. I shook his hand and told him how much I liked him in Drive Angry and What's the Worst that Could Happen? (By a freak of serendipity, the latter movie came on tonight. Just as I said, he was one of its highlights.).

Somehow, I like it more when I plan things than when stuff just happens, but this was, overall, a good day.

2011-04-05T13:11:00.001-04:00

As I mull over what kind of card to get for my parents' anniversary, I can't think of a better use of time travel than finding the first person to put glitter on greeting cards and cutting their hands off.

2011-04-04T23:01:00.001-04:00

Currently posting that other person's fanfic and trying to get a few pages of my Script Frenzy script done before midnight. Been pretty lucky so far on the latter; it seems to write itself.

Punchin' Judies.

2011-03-29T19:24:00.004-04:00

Hyperbole can be a dangerous thing when used improperly. It can cause people to take leave of their senses and assume the worst of things. These things, more often than not, are hardly worth the effort expended on decrying them and they lead one to wonder just what the big fuss is about.

In case the last paragraph (and post title) was, in any way, vague, I went to see Sucker Punch today. Maybe, my standards are too high (or too low), but this was hardly the worst film I've seen in a while (now, why does that sound familiar?).

That's not to say that I'll serve as one of its defenders, not that there's a shortage of them; its IMDb rating is currently 6.8/10, not bad for a movie everyone supposedly hates.

The story concerns a young woman, Baby Doll (Emily Browning), who is shipped off to a mental institution for murdering her younger sister, never mind that we never see the bullet from the gun she fires enter the girl, nor do we see blood staining the girl's dress, just that on Baby-Doll's fingers (more on this later). She meets a number of other girls there, including Amber (Jamie Chung), Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens), Rocket (Jena Malone, but I swear I thought it was Alexa Vega) and Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish). Then, for reasons the movie doesn't even pretend to explain, the scene shifts from an institution to a brothel.

Within this brothel, Baby Doll escapes into fantasy, freeing her from her harsh reality(ies?). The audience is treated to a number of sequences ranging from war movie, to futuristic train chase to a medieval romp with a dragon to what I can only call steampunk Shaolin.

While I watched the film, a number of things failed to add up for me. First, why the reality shift? Granted, the institution scenes would keep the audience at arm's length if held up for the rest of the movie, but why a brothel? No, I can't name a better venue for the majority of the narrative, but it seemed arbitrary. Also, people rave about Baby Doll's dancing, but we never see it, just people's amazed reactions before another elaborate fantasy sequence. This complaint seems a little "When are they getting to the fireworks factory?", but I was curious. For the life of me, I could not get a handle on when this was supposed to be set. The 40s? The 60s? Right now? What the hell? The use of modern pop songs didn't help in this regard. I can sort of see why people complained about that in A Knight's Tale and Moulin Rouge (whose music supervisor, Marius De Vries, performed that function here): that shit's distracting.

Lastly, how obvious was it that this was cut from an R-rating? And without Zack Snyder's knowledge (I forget where I read it, but Snyder walked off of S.W.A.T. when he found out that Sony wanted a PG-13 rating for the film.)? There's the scene where Hudgens (in a moment that would give her "High School Musical" devotees pause) says (paraphrasing, so give me a break), "You ugly motherfucker!". Her lips clearly say the word, but no sound comes out. Was someone too busy to cut that part out?

Did I like anything about this movie? Carla Gugino was good as a live-action version of Bart's ballet teacher from that one "Simpsons" episode, it's always nice to see Jon Hamm, the ladies are attractive and Scott Glenn (my favorite thing in the movie) made for a perfect inscrutable guide.

Glenn has a line early on: "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." I stand for this: Sucker Punch was neither great, nor lousy. It just was.

Doing me a flavor.

2011-03-27T19:49:00.004-04:00

After all this time of vocally expressing my displeasure at their sudden disappearance, they're back:

Taken at my job this afternoon. I took something of a risk. We're not supposed to have cell phones on the floor, so if I don't have a job at the end of this week...yeah, this is probably the reason why. In which case, I say...worth it.

2011-03-25T13:22:00.003-04:00

Given how my morning has been going (and given that I watched the "Spongebob" episode, "Krusty Krab Training Video" before I left), I really wish that buttons reading "I really wish I weren't here right now!" and "Go be stupid somewhere else." really existed.

Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011)

2011-03-23T18:48:00.001-04:00

Another star in Hollywood's sky fades away.

For my generation, Taylor is known mainly for her perfume commercials, playing Pearl Slaghoople in The Flintstones, her friendship with Michael Jackson, her many marriages (joked about by every comedian and talk-show host you can think of) and, most notably, her two guest spots on "The Simpsons" - as herself in "Krusty Gets Cancelled" ("I've got to fire that agent.") and as Maggie in "Lisa's First Word".

This does something of a disservice to the many classic (and, of course, unseen by my eyes) movies in which she starred: National Velvet, Giant, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and Cleopatra (granted, applying 'classic' to this film is questionable, but I'm trying to make a point).

I shouldn't have to say that she'll be missed. That much is certain.

2011-03-21T08:18:00.002-04:00

So, let's see: I'm currently (sort of) working on three screenplays with three more on the backburner, three fanfictions (two of which are my own; long story), juggling two credit cards with a phone bill and working out the best way to stay in New York City for this fall's Comic-Con without a) breaking the bank and b) waiting too long that I'm forced to sneak around the Big Apple without a place to stay in between enjoying the fruits of my non-refundable four-day pass.

No pressure, right?

2011-03-12T22:30:00.002-05:00

Went to work at a different store today. The experience (once I acclimated myself to the new location and various codes) was bump-free...until the end of the shift.

A little backstory: at my store, there's usually a bookkeeper at the end of business who goes over the day's transactions, making sure that everything is kosher. Also, we receive carrying cases and starting forms, to (respectively) organize our items and mark what our totals are. I didn't get anything like that here and I had to share my drawer with two other people at different times in the day. Also, there was no bookkeeper, just a manager who, herself, wasn't familiar with the way things were done.

Needless to say, counting down was very frustrating. Imagine being a passenger who's never flown before and you're asked to fly a nosediving plane. Yeah, it was kind of like that.

2011-03-11T19:37:00.002-05:00

Pity that Ain't It Cool News is on the fritz. From what I'm hearing, Red Riding Hood could really benefit from the Capone/Massawyrm touch.

EDIT: I had the wrong web address in my links. The site is working fine. It's just that the old, 'aint-it-cool-news.com' domain name expired.

And Capone's Red Riding Hood review was as good as I expected. That comment about Gary Oldman pouring hot sauce on the scenery before chewing it was a riot.

2011-03-08T10:41:00.003-05:00

Well, today's Fat Tuesday, that day when people gorge before fasting for Lent. Except for the fasting, everyday's Fat Tuesday for me.

I've been taking cholesterol-lowering drugs to counteract my binging. Unusual when you're not even 30. I don't have any pussy to eat, so I may as well eat my feelings, right?

So much for my happy ending.

2011-03-02T22:35:00.002-05:00

I seriously can't imagine why people prefer depressing endings. It breaks my heart scanning the 'Downer Ending' page at TV Tropes that there can be so many examples. My thinking is this: isn't real life full of these kinds of endings? What's more, why would people want them in their movies, where people go to escape reality?

Interestingly, I stumbled upon an article that makes another argument for why purveyors of these conclusions should soak their heads:

Why all stories should end happily

A night at the Oscars.

2011-02-27T20:29:00.002-05:00

Well, the magical night is here, at last. Let's get to it.

8:31 The ten Best Picture nominees set to the cover of "In the Hall of the Mountain King" from The Social Network, still the one piece of music I remember from that film. I swear, someone's nuts will end up in a vice if it wins for Score...

8:32 Back to the old days of "putting the host(s) in the Oscar nominees".

8:34 "I loved you in Tron ...and this movie."

8:37 The Back to the Future thing, though funny, seemed a last-minute addition.

8:41 A look back at Gone with the Wind. One of several classic films i've yet to see...and at 4 hours, it's not at the top of the list.

8:43 ...and now we're into Titanic. Definitely going for a four hour ceremony--

8:44 Okay, Art Direction. Finally. The award goes to Alice in Wonderland. Perhaps the only nod that it could've received.

8:46 Holy crap, Tim Burton got a haircut! There's hope for him, yet.

8:47 The Cinematography award goes to...Wally Pfister for Inception. Fuck. Me.

8:52 Even with the canned jokes, it's nice to see Kirk Douglas.

8:55 I think the doddering old man thing is a put-on.

8:57 The Supporting Actress award goes to...Melissa Leo. (1/24) Didn't see The Fighter, but I had kind of a feeling. I'm sure that Hailee Steinfeld will get more changes to prove herself.

9:03 The Animated Short Feature award goes to..."The Lost Thing".

9:06 The Animated Feature award goes to...Toy Story 3. (2/24) Seriously, who thought it'd be anything else?

9:12 I just now got the awesome significance of Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem presenting together. Bardem so deserved that Oscar.

9:14 The Adapted Screenplay Oscar goes to...Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network. (3/24) Fuck. Yes!

9:17 The Original Screenplay Oscar goes to...David Seidler for The King's Speech. (4/24) Maybe I should give the film another chance.

9:23 Anne's doing a number that seems to be a callback to Hugh Jackman's hosting stint. You remember that, right?

9:25 James dressed like Marilyn Monroe. That's just ghastly.

9:26 Hey, it's the stars of the remake of Arthur! (In theaters April 8th)

9:28 The Foreign Film award goes to...In a Better World.

9:32 The Supporting Actor award goes to Christian Bale. (5/24) Even Shane Hurlbut has to be excited by this.

9:41 A fine suite of classic scores led by William Ross (who looks a little like William Hurt, IMO).

9:43 The Original Score award goes to...Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for The Social Network. Fuck. My. Ass. First old lady I see tomorrow is getting dropped like a bad habit.

9:46 The Sound award goes to...Inception. It's a wonder I'm not still pissed enough to want to continue with this.

9:51 The Sound Editing award goes to...Inception again.

9:54 How weird is it that a hottie ends up hosting the special, untelevised effects ceremony every ear?

9:55 Okay, why was the orchestra still playing over Cate Blanchett's speech?

9:56 The Makeup award goes to...The Wolfman. (6/24) Awesome.

9:59 The Costume Design award goes to...Colleen Atwood for Alice in Wonderland. Serves me right. Betting against Burton's collaborators in this category is like betting against the Harlem Globetrotters.

10:02 Very nice intro by Kevin Spacey, leading us to...

10:03 Randy Newman performing "We Belong Together".

10:05 Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi perform "I See the Light". I hope it wins. When I saw Alan Menken, I really thought it was Randy Newman, at first glance.

10:13 The Documentary Short Subject award goes to "Strangers No More".

10:16 The Live-Action Short Subject award goes to..."God of Love"

10:17 Okaaay. Auto-tuned scenes from movies passed off as songs...and so, we now have, perhaps, the one time a clip from a Twilight movie will ever be featured at the Oscars.

10:21 The Documentary Feature award goes to...Inside Job.

10:27 Billy Crystal's back on the Oscar stage! The years don't seem to have taken any of the edge off.

10:31 Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law (reprising their fine Holmes-Watson chemistry present the Visual Effects Oscar, which goes to Inception. (7/24)

10:35 The Editing award goes to...Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter for The Social Network (8/24). Splendid.

10:40 Florence (of Florence and the Machine) performs "If I Rise".

10:43 Gwyneth Paltrow performs "Coming Home".

10:46 The Original Song award goes to..."We Belong Together".

10:52 In Memoriam. It's still weird to think that John Barry is no longer with us, but apparently, his passing made the cut-off point.

11:02 The Director award goes to...Tom Hooper.

11:07 Looking back at the highlights of the Governor's Awards (lifetime achievement, to you).

11:16 The Best Actress award goes to...Natalie Portman. (8/24) Yeah, big shocker.

11:25 The Best Actor award goes to...Colin Firth. (9/24) Again, big surprise.

11:36 Best Picture goes to...The King's Speech. Well, that's that.

Another Oscar ceremony down. I'm sorry, but the Original Score win just pissed in the punchbowl for me. A good, hummable score better win next year.

This year's predictions.

2011-02-26T23:18:00.001-05:00

Because everyone is so interested in my opinion on these matters, there are my picks for tomorrow's Academy Awards:

Picture: Toy Story 3 was enjoyable, but, really, do you honestly believe it will capture this honor? Black Swan, for its impressiveness, might be a little out there for Oscar voters. For different reasons, you could say the same of Inception. True Grit was a fine Western, but is the Academy in the mood for Westerns? I, personally, think that The Social Network deserves the prize. The themes of success and betrayal are universal, transcending any feelings of 'too-of-the-moment'. Still, I think they'll give it to The King's Speech. For me, this was a fine actor's showcase first and a compelling story second. Maybe I'm being generous, but I didn't respond as well as everyone else did to it.
Actor: I thought that Jesse Eisenberg was fantastic as Mark Zuckerberg, but (whatever my misgivings about the film) this is Colin Firth's award, no question.
Actress: I'm still kind of serious about Annette Bening having a shot since Hilary Swank was passed over...but, really, they may as well FedEx Natalie Portman the statuette.
Supporting Actor: Surprising that The Town received only one nomination. Jeremy Renner was good, but I think it really comes down to Christian Bale vs. Geoffrey Rush. It'll be Bale. I can feel it.
Supporting Actress: It kind of sickens me how people bitch about Hailee Steinfeld being nominated in the 'supporting' category. Maybe because they knew she'd get smoked in the 'leading' category? Doi! It'll probably go to Melissa Leo, but I'm pulling for little Miss Steinfeld.
Director: Fine work all around, but consider the fact that he made a movie about talking and net surfing interesting and how could it not go to David Fincher?
Original Screenplay: I already made my case about The King's Speech, but David Seidler worked for 20 years getting this film made. Perserverance like that ought to be rewarded.
Adapted Screenplay: I call ultimate bullshit if Aaron Sorkin loses this.
Editing: The Social Network. The switching between the trials and the main story was incredible.
Cinematography: Substitute 'Roger Deakins' for 'Aaron Sorkin', and those are my thoughts. Some chowderhead at a message board I post at felt that Deakins' True Grit cinematography nod was his quote-unquote 'least deserving'. I'd rather he won for something 'least deserving' than not at all.
Art Direction: The interiors in The King's Speech impressed me with their understated quality, but Inception could eke out a win here.
Costume Design: Much as I liked what Colleen Atwood did for Alice in Wonderland, Mary Zophres's designs for True Grit left a bigger impression on me.
Animated Feature: It's Toy Story 3. It was always Toy Story 3.
Animated Short Subject: A few weeks ago, I found myself in the interesting position of watching all of the nominated shorts in a theater. I wasn't as engaged by "The Lost Child" as I probably should've been, and I was more impressed with the various media used in "Madagascar" than I was with the short itself. However, "Let's Pollute" was very funny, but I doubt that it will translate to a win (the Academy hates comedies, you know?). "Day and Night" was a truly impressive Pixar short, so if it or the incredibly charming "The Gruffalo" wins, I'll be happy.
Live-Action Short Subject: I didn't stay for the live-action shorts. However, the story from The Crush intrigues me.
Foreign Film: There isn't a single damn movie that sounds appealing to me. Let's give it to the one from Canada...Incendies.
Visual Effects: Let's see: stuff exploding around people, cities getting folded over, 360-degree fights...you think Inception might win this one?
Sound: It could really go to anyone (I don't pay much attention to this when I watch movies), but let's just say...True Grit.
Sound Effects Editing: See previous category.
Makeup: I've only seen The Wolfman and even with the unfortunate CGI augmentations, Rick Baker still has the gift.
Original Score: I feel that, of the nominated scores, Powell's How to Train Your Dragon is the most deserving...so the Academy will, of course, puss out and give it to The Social Network, the one nomination it does not deserve. Then again, cooler heads prevailed last year in a similar 'ambient score for a likely Best Picture vs. a lovely score for an animated movie' situation.
Original Song: I'm going with "I See the Light". A very pretty tune, even if Alan Menken has enough Oscars.
Documentary Short Subject: Apparently, The Warriors of Qiugang was co-directed by a Thomas Lennon. Probably not the one I'm thinking of (he of Reno 911 and The State), but it's interesting to think about.
Documentary Feature: I'll say Restrepo. I like the title.

Where you headed?

2011-02-20T12:57:00.003-05:00

Given that I have a yen to see the world and a decent bank account, I'm interested in traveling. Then I stumble on this article:

Best Places to Travel Alone

I'm interested to see that New York City is on the list, for two reasons: a) they say it's a great place for singles and b) I'm planning on going to New York Comic-Con.

Slight edit: it's nine hours later and I only now realize how contradictory those last two reasons are. Oh, well.

2011-02-15T21:37:00.002-05:00

Meant to post this last night, but I got caught up.

I had something unusual in mind for Valentine's Day. Instead of staying home, I would, for laughs, go to an Anti-Valentine's Day party.

Two things: a) I am, by nature, a very shy individual. It would take a cattle prod to get more than a few words out of me and b) I'm not as bitter about Valentine's Day as most; I treat it like any other day.

Little did I realize that this party was held at a bar. I feel awkward and out of place at a lot of functions., but throw a non-drinker like me into a bar and the awkwardness flies off the charts. Still, I tried to have a good time, making conversation with the few people that were there with me, especially this cute redhead in glasses that (of course) I didn't try to get with.

I think it would be better for me in the future to enter a situation like that with at least one friend. Now to find one of those.

"A riut...isan ugly sinc!"

2011-02-14T21:42:00.002-05:00

Just now heard about Kenneth Mars' passing. Damn.

I can't even mention all his memorable roles, but I'll try: Franz Liebkind ("I am the author. You are the audience. I outrank you!"), The Little Mermaid's King Triton, Otto on "Malcolm in the Middle" (in fact, one can't help but wonder if the producers were huge Young Frankenstein fans, given the casting of Mars and Cloris Leachman) and, of course, Inspector Kemp:

He will definitely be missed.

P.S. I've long felt that Kenneth Branagh's look in Wild Wild West was modelled after that of Kemp. Seriously, compare the 'A riut...' scene in YF to the kidnapping Grant scene in WWW. Uncanny, no?

2011-02-13T11:37:00.002-05:00

Well, yesterday, impulsive buying set in, leading me to do two things that, purchase-wise, I never thought I'd find myself doing.

The tail-end of January brought with it a re-release of Jerry Goldsmith's Gremlins-like score to Link from the good folks at Intrada. A 2000 unit release, I was sure that it would stick around for a while. (Witness the inexplicable - in my view - way that Varese has managed not to sell out of the 3000 copies it pressed of Goldsmith's rejected Alien Nation score.) Nope. Within a day, Intrada's site posted a notice of 'SOLD OUT!'.

Copies disappeared from soundtrack retailers across the web. The ghoulish way that the copy I purchased from Screen Archives disappeared somewhere between placing the order and receiving the e-mail about it still haunts me. What does one do in a situation like this? Scour e-bay, of course! However, the jack-holes I was bidding against liked to jack up the price, even with a fair starting price of 99 cents (If only...).

Amazingly, one seller had a 'Buy it Now' option, where he was selling three copies for the (comparatively) rock bottom price of $47.99. Hey, I said comparatively. I jumped on it. The issue here is...did I buy it because I enjoy the score or did I buy it just to have it? While I like the score, I'd hardly consider it a Goldsmith masterpiece (strangely, the far-more electronically based Warlock and Alien Nation hold bigger places in my heart). I had hoped to find the liner notes online, but no dice. (If there's the promise of thorough liner notes on a release I wouldn't otherwise acknowledge, chances are I'll want to have it. c.f. Intrada's RoboCop and Varese Club's North by Northwest)

$47.99 is the most I've ever paid for a single CD in my life, and God willing, that record will stand. (This is the 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' curse of the soundtrack collector: A CD comes out from a label, worth $20 plus shipping and handling. You can a) snap it up immediately and savor it or b) wait until the price gets lower/supplies begin to dwindle. The downside of this being that, in the case of a), it sticks around and you see it go for around $10, while in the case of b) you wait too long and it runs out from under you, forcing you to pay $47.99 for one CD.)

I suppose I can get rid of my CD-R that I've had these last few years and try to put the best face on this by saying that the money would've been wasted on something else, anyway.

The other thing I bought yesterday was a T-Mobile 3G smartphone. The offer to get a free one was for Friday and Saturday and I only learned about it Friday night. Clearly, action had to be taken. I often imagine that I'd end up getting one anyway, so why not speed up the process? (Now that I think about it, can you really say I bought it if it was free; I still need to send away for the rebate.) I think I need to take some time one day and figure out just how the hell it works. Unlike with Link, I'm pretty damn sure I got this just to have it. 'Free' is a powerful thing, folks.

2011-02-08T20:27:00.001-05:00

Okay. I think I'm sufficiently over the unpleasantness of the last post. Just got to work harder to improve my life is all.

2011-02-05T17:16:00.003-05:00

I don't know. Maybe, I've been snippy with the wrong people, cut the wrong person off in traffic or challenged the wrong person on an internet message board. Whatever the reason, karma fucked me in the ass hard here.

I lost an auction for the expanded soundtrack to Clash of the Titans (the original) not too long ago. If that had merely been enough, I suppose I could let it go. After all, losing internet auctions is a part of life, albeit a tiny one.

I did a preliminary tax return yesterday. I usually do my own taxes, but this year, my mother decided to claim me as a dependent. My refund will end up substantially lower than what I'm used to. If this had been enough, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe, it'll help her in the long run.

Like a number of geeks, I was eagerly awaiting to purchase tickets to Comic-Con. I'd hoped to get them in November, then in December, then in January, but they weren't available. The promised sell date for the tickets, after all that waiting, was February 5th...today. I figured that I'd have some time to get a four-day pass upon my return, as the site was overwhelmed before I left. I got back from a trip of buying comics and lunching at Applebees to hear my father say that tickets were sold out. I feverishly booted up my computer, hoping that he was wrong; believing that, if there is a God, he is wrong. Sure enough, the four-day passes are sold out. Maybe, probably, I could get day passes for Thursday, Friday and Sunday, but I cannot believe that, after having a carrot like this dangled in front of me for so long, I get to this point without anything.

Add this to a particularly grueling work week and I can only conclude the post with the following:

MOTHERFUCKER! MOTHERFUCKER! MOTHERFUCKER! MOTHERFUCKER! MOTHERFUCKER! MOTHERFUCKER!

2011-02-02T23:46:00.003-05:00

Encore aired a marathon of Groundhog Day today. Finally, one of these all day marathons makes sense. (I'm well-aware of the annual A Christmas Story marathon on TNTBS, but you think they'd take a break.)

Sleet fell today. It covered my windshield faster than I could scrape it off, which made my morning commute somewhat dangerous. I seriously considered Ace Venturaing it, but then I turned a corner and tried again. Winter, huh?