My trip to Faux-ronto.

For real, a lengthy post about spending time in Toronto is up at the beginning of September instead of at the end?! Something must’ve gone wrong. If the title wasn’t enough of a clue, you’re absolutely right. The money that would normally be allocated toward that trip just wasn’t there this year (Helpful tip: if you get something in the mail from a company looking to extend your car’s warranty and you have a suspicion that they’re a bunch of worthless, scamming dick holes, trust it.), so I’m doing a speculative post just like in the olden days of this blog.

Unfortunately, it won’t be easy filling in the holes of the trip, to say nothing of allowing for any tomfuckery that would keep me from getting into Canada or - God forbid - keep me from returning to the States, but no one will say that I didn’t try.

Cheeto-stained fingers dance about my laptop keyboard (What do you want from me? They were on sale.) to draft a rough itinerary the moment I get home from work. I make sure everything is packed, from clothing to cash, from toiletries to travel maps. This shit is a go.

Knowing that a good night’s sleep is the next best thing to a best friend, I hop into bed at 10:15. I don’t want to leave anything to chance for tomorrow. If I get my sleep in now, that’ll make me less likely to sleep when I could be doing other things.

Thursday

You know how it goes: you want to spend the day in bed, but the alarm rings and you have to get up and face the day. It sucks when you have to go to work, but far less so when you're embarking on a trip.

Out the door at 6:45. Chocolate milk and a donut to match as I make my way to the Peace Bridge. Thankfully, Paula’s Donuts was more cooperative this time out. As I get ready to pull away, I start to freak out a little, as I often do when I believe I’ve forgotten something. I pat myself down. Everything is where it should be. I check my backpack. A full roll of toilet paper. Okay, now we’re ready.

Undaunted, I head down the freeway to the Peace Bridge. I’m so high on the potential excitement of the trip that I forget, for a moment, that there aren’t actual human beings running this country and, therefore, start to worry about potential obstacles to getting over the border.

President. What a joke.

Anyway, the lineup of cars has been radically depleted. I’m like fourth in line. Not many people wanna risk being singled out unless they absolutely have to go to a job in Canada, I would suppose, but this is my annual trip. If you don't take a risk every now and then, are you really living? It's my turn, now and I head to the window, ready to not blow it. "What's going on in Canada?" "Fan Expo." Nothing cute, just to the point. Will it work?

Yes. The price is up to thirteen dollars for the toll, but screw it. We're making this happen. Down the QEW, my donut and milk weaving through my digestive system and a movie podcast filling the air. Could this be any better? 7:26. Making good time, at that.

Long way to my exit, but darn it, it fills me with a minor sense of accomplishment when I weave down the streets of Niagara Falls(, Ontario) to the GOTransit Bus Terminal. I park in the lot across the street. It's early yet, but the heat is already getting to me.

In a matter of minutes, the bus to Burlington Station arrives. I’ve learned to accept that a direct trip from Niagara Falls to Toronto isn’t in the cards, but I appreciate the scenic route. Besides, a double decker bus ride - especially when you get a seat to yourself - is pretty fun. Gives you room to take a nap. About an hour later, we arrive at Burlington. Myself and the other passengers grab our belongings and head for the train stop. Unfortunately, hot weather plus litterbugs equals unwanted insect guests.

Not a moment too soon does the train arrive. Damn bees are everywhere. You wanna talk a scenic route? Oh, man. I’m not really in a conversational mood here either, but thankfully, quite a lot of people share my opinion. A few of them hold conversations, but nothing they can be like heard above a whisper.

Killing time at Union Station might be an option in the future if I don’t have any place to go in Toronto and I just wanted to hang out. I grab something from Randy’s Patties to go as well as a soda. Need to give it time to cool off. Before I can check in to my temporary home, I feel I need to pick up a drink from Shoppers. It’s still very hot out here. To make up for lost time from the last couple trips, I decided to hit all of the city’s museums. Unfortunately, no food allowed. The patty’s still a little hot, but I managed to choke it down pretty well. Still delicious.

Didn’t get as much out of the art museums as I expected, and I’m not sure why I’m surprised by this; the one back home is nice, but it doesn’t move me like I like either. Bright side: less to worry about next time I visit.

In a fascinating turn of events, I manage to get the same place I had last year. No public transportation goes down Bloor Street (Lame.), but at least I can make my way to Manning Avenue and walk down there. On the way, I hit up Neurotica Records. I think I may be buying too many soundtracks from here because it’s not a whole lot to sample. Still, I didn’t bring my CD player for nothing, so I snag a few titles: As Good as it Gets, The Way of the Gun, Point of No Return and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.

Relaxing in a strange new place is scary, but relaxing in a place you’re somewhat familiar with…not as much. I enter the code remove my shoes and make my way to my room. I fish out my hand towel and wipe off the sweat that developed since the last time I had to use it. Why does it have to be so danged hot in the summer? Once again, her TV set up is mainly only for streaming services. You’d think there would be like a database of Netflix passwords out in the wild someplace. Oh, well.

Even though I’d love to stay and see if I’m rooming with anyone this year, I just need a place to keep my crap so I’m not wandering the streets. It’s Toronto, baby! Get a bloomin’ move on!

Catching the bus is a joyless experience back home, but catching it here holds the promise of adventure. I made sure to put plenty on my Presto card yesterday. Looks like I’m approaching Spadina. Time to get off. Instead of immediately jumping on a street car to get closer to the convention center, I decided to go to Bank Bao for dinner. Given that I had someplace to go afterwards, I thought it’d be a good idea not to overdo the meal. Just keep it simple: K-Chick bao, fries and an iced tea.

The streetcar pulls up just as I exit Bank Bao. Lucky. The prevailing theme of Fan Expo this year is celebrating the 40th anniversary of Back to the Future, with several guests and panels set up to that end. Much as I enjoy those movies, I’ve got other things to do.

Perfect. I'm able to get in after 6:00p. (And I didn't feel like wasting time with the bridge, so I made the extra steps to the South Building entrance.) I see a lot of cosplayers heading out for the night because they didn’t wanna stick around for the later panels. Hell, that’s the whole reason I’m here. 

Undeterred by the spectacle, I hurry to 709 for my first panel: 50th Anniversary of Jaws (from Blockbuster to Mock-buster): a Musical Journey. As an inveterate film music junkie, I couldn't help but get drawn in. I’ve been following the Jaws series of “Get Me Another”, so there’s a lot of fascinating scores to look forward to here. Piranha might be my favorite movie and score from this cycle.

Then, when that was over, I ran to 714 for the main attraction of the night: She is the One Named Sailor Moon: Terri Hawkes Q&A. The room is rife with Senshi cosplay as she takes the stage. I have long been a fan of the 90s dub, cheesiness and bowdlerization and all. How I’ve longed for the chance to hear about her voice acting career and especially what led her to this. Her exclamation of “Moon Prism Power!” at the end proves she still has it.

This has been a damn fun night. I'd do more, but I think I should get back to my Airbnb. Damn shame I don’t have a membership to Revue Cinema. There’s a marathon of trailers for alien invasion movies tonight. (What? Of course I don’t fanatically stalk the theater’s website or the site of the guy that cuts their trailers! What gave you that idea?)

Home at last. The bus ride was fun - being only one of eight people in total will do that for you - but it’s good to be able to decompress. I while away the rest of the night on my laptop, desperate to find something to do that doesn't involve what I usually do with it. Don't judge me.

Even though I'm asleep, I can just...sense that something is amiss. It sounds like someone scuttling outside. Am I too tired to care or too scared to act? Nope. Tired. I go back to bed. 

Friday

Every morning, I wake up alone. This one was no exception. I glance over to my laptop on the table, now fully charged. I reach over to grab it, but either I’m still really tired or it’s really far away because it’s out of my reach. I’m forced to step on the floor to reach it, always an inconvenience, when I slip on something. Couldn’t be any of my clothes; they’re all packed away, in the chair or on my body. I glance down. It’s a pair of lace panties. Purple.

Xenophobia is a trait that is the furthest thing from my mind, no matter what the compromised news outlets try to push on me, but I can’t help but be a little nervous. Am I rooming with women like last year? How did they even get in? Is this some kind of invitation? What would they want with me? 

Ever so swiftly, I hurry for the bathroom, tossing the panties at the other door on the way. I take a shower hoping to clean off the nonsense of the last day. In no time, I feel a lot fresher. I hear the door open behind me.

“Callie!”

“Um...”

This is unusual. The other room is, once again, occupied by women, but this time, they took the initiative. I have no problem with this whatsoever. At this point in my life, it wasn’t going to happen any other way.

“I’m busy, Desiree.”

“Oh, come on!”

Now, this is interesting. Mildly terrifying, but interesting. I’m not sure if I should sneak away or stay where I am, but it’s getting cold. I’m drying off.

“Stop!”

Oh, farts. Can’t a man dry off in peace? Desiree (never thought I’d encounter a girl with that name in real life, by the way) places a hand on my shoulder. It takes what little willpower I have left not to burst right then and there.

“Fancy enough for you?” As nervous as I am now, that accent - I want to say Eastern Europe - is doing things to me. “You found the panties. Good work.”

“Thanks”, I murmur. Not sure whether it was the vulnerability or just plain not thinking that prompts my next comment. “So, do I win anything?”

Her lip curls into a wicked smile. I don’t think she was expecting that. “You certainly have.” She gestures to her room. “My friend and I are staying here until Monday. If you can figure out who the panties belong to before then, you win…us.”

Every word I have ever learned disappears from my brain. No way does she mean…

“‘Two Girls for Every Boy’. Isn’t that the name of that old song?”

“Right.” Hey. Something came back.

“And no cheating. No fair trying to find out who sells it.”

“I wouldn’t think of it.”

“Terrific.” Desiree slinks back to her door. “And you might want to dry off. Don’t want to catch your death.”

“Oh, right.” I hurry into my room. I hope I don’t have to take another shower.

Really glad that that encounter didn’t throw me too off schedule…and am I seriously prioritizing my itinerary over a potential three-way? God, I really do have negative game.

Still, it would be a real waste of money to not do what I set out to do. I get dressed, pack an extra shirt and get ready for the day. Money, Fan Expo badge, Presto card, maps…wait. I reach toward the table. Toilet paper. Now, I’m ready.

I walk up Manning toward College Street. Just changing things up. I hurry toward Shoppers Drug Mart. I pick up a one liter bottle of iced tea and some snacks. Always be prepared.

Now to the bus stop. It takes a few minutes, but it finally arrives. It's not too crowded. Likely, the majority of the people taking the bus this way are already at work. I grab a window seat and lose myself in games of chance on my phone. After a while, I get off at College Station and take the train to Queen, then a hop, skip and jump to my destination.

Good God, I'm so glad to be back at Sunset Grill. I take a seat at a table near the window. Not long before I order. Why mess with a good thing? The Sunset Super with bacon and sausage. There's a breakfast of champions for you.

Okay. I'm a little logy, but nothing is going to be happening at Fan Expo for a while. I head for BMV Music and Books. A chain store, but it slots perfectly with the indie bookstores in town. Not often you can say that.

Very not surprised to find the CD section is a bust, but there are still plenty of (used) books to check out. Quite a few I pick up, with the highlight being that one film music book I left behind the previous summer. I knew no one would be grabbing it.

Every time I think I have this crazy town figured out, it lays another surprise on me. I head down John Street, a damn good way to walk off my breakfast, and within 10 minutes, I'm at the Convention Center! I check the schedule on the Fan Expo app. My first panel is in the South Building. Well, that's where I'm going now. No sense putting myself through undue stress fighting through the North Building.

Revue Cinema was a no-go last night and yet, there's a panel here today: Revue Cinema: Connecting Toronto Through Film in 711. Go figure. Part of it is devoted to how government bull crap nearly resulted in their end, but they also talk about some of what they’ve shown and what is to come. To be able to get to a theater like this on the regular would be a dream come true.

Not much to do afterwards except walk around and snap pictures of cosplayers...and there are some gems today: The Fairy Godmother from Shrek 2, a human WALL-E, Johnny Bravo, Miss Frizzle, Yelena Belova and Bananas in Pajamas…what? You didn’t watch this show, too?

My God, is it lunch time already? I leave the building - because the cost of the food here is disproportionate to the quality. Still, there is a place a couple of train stations away offering Heaven on a stick. I'm talking about Chungchun. Korean corn dogs with odd, tasty crap on them. Was I even alive before I discovered those? The gamsung, as I noted elsewhere, is the GOAT, especially with chipotle sauce.

Eyes on the prize, now. I zig-zag down the various blocks looking for someway to occupy my mind en route to the treasure. The dog is just as amazing as the last few years. I head back the way I came. So glad a place like this is in my neck of the woods. A gamsung dog will be just the thing to chase away the winter blues.

Now's the time for the other panel today: Breaking Bard: Improvised Shakespearean Comedy in 709. A mash-up of contemporary media and classic prose. I had a lot of fun with this. Fan Expo is over for the day and, thankfully, I'm not as turned around trying to leave as I usually get around this point in the trip. Maybe, things are getting better. And there goes my stomach. My snacks are depleted. Better grab dinner.

Tonight, I feel like grabbing something fattening yet unoriginal: a cheeseburger, onion rings and a chocolate shake from A&W. A tribute to the meal I wanted to have and the movie I wanted to see last year on Sunday, but couldn't. Speaking of movies...

On the way to Hot Docs. I remember the Letterboxd review clear as day: “If you're a fan of The Kids in the Hall, Queer Punk or having fun!”. I'm a fan of at least two of those things! Mouth Congress. Never heard of it, but I didn't have much going on tonight anyway.

Now, this is pretty interesting. A Q&A featuring Scott Thompson and Paul Bellini. The review mentioned this, but you just never know. Great fun. The performance was good, too. Not my kind of music, but I enjoyed it.

Pacing myself, I hurry to the bus stop, a blanket of darkness over the city. The night life may be for most people, but not so much for this cat. I hop on the bus down Dundas. Rather quiet, which suits me fine. Still, I glance out the window and wonder what life would be like here. Someday.

All the stuff I did today and my mind only now returns to the girls. I tiptoe to my room and quietly enter the code. I slip in and strip down to my boxers and grab my laptop for some stimulation. I keep quiet and listen in. No sound.

Yes! They aren't in. Maybe, I can get some sleep. Still, the thought of not having to get any sleep - with regards to this year’s roomies - excites me.

Saturday

Perhaps, things will be more interesting at Fan Expo today. I stretch and let out a moan, but not too loud of one. I'm surrounded by strangers and attention may screw up my routine something fierce, so I bury my head in my pillow.

Even in another country, I need to get my routine going. I cue up the end titles of “The Beverly Hillbillies” on YouTube. No cartoons afterwards, though...at least, not right away. I rush to the shower. Got to beat the girls there, presuming they got in while I slept. No interruptions during or after. Awesome.

Ready to go, but I feel like changing things up, breakfast-wise. This year’s scheduling of Fan Expo made tomorrow morning’s excursion a lot more interesting. Before I make it to the door, however...

“Very good morning, isn’t it?”

“I guess”, I murmur with a shrug.

“Exiting so soon?”

“Why do you want to know?”

Another smirk. She was definitely not expecting that.

“Not that it’s your business, but Desiree and I had another day of fun planned.”

Do I say ‘yes?’ Hell, I don’t even know what they did yesterday. Should I ask? Do I want to put my plans aside for them? Then again, I’ll just be seeing them again tonight. Would their plans be so much different from mine?

“So…looking for another guest?”

“Oh, no. We’re good. Just wanted to let you know.”

Lovely. She turns back towards her room and closes the door, just long enough for Desiree to give a quick wave. I shake my head. A lesser man couldn’t put up with this.

Very happy to spend another morning in Toronto. I walk down Manning just in time for a bus to pull up. I get on, careful not to make myself too comfortable. There’s another one to catch. 

Each time I step into Saving Gigi's, I eagerly await - with Harley Quinn-like awe - that sandwich. Why don't more places use cheese biscuits? Guaranteed sellers! Not that hard to grasp. I cart the meal off to parts unknown. The waiting is getting to me.

This sandwich is still too damn hot, even to hold, but that's nothing that a beverage won't cure. Off to Shoppers Drug Mart and two one-liter bottles of iced tea.

Heat is not only a problem in terms of my meal, but the weather as well. My hand towel is in my backpack, but I need to fish it out. The sweat is already developing on my body. Such a pain in the butt.

Except for situations when I'm in an unfamiliar city, I can't imagine taking public transformation. Still, this is my idea of a nice experience. I settle into a seat and catch up on the stream some kind soul on Reddit uploads each Saturday morning. “Snorks” again. Dude must love that show. The Law of Averages dictates that someone has to.

Now, I'm at Ossington Station where two trains separate me from the awesomeness of Fan Expo. A lot of people on their phones. Some of them look to be dressed like characters from some anime I've never heard of, let alone seen. Getting old sucks.

Amazingly, I thought, for a brief moment, that I forgot my badge. As I walk toward the Convention Center, I dig through my shorts pocket and grab onto the lanyard. Crisis averted. I would hate to have to turn back at this juncture. Once again, my path takes me to the South Building.

There’s not much of a line for Blockbuster Backstories in 711. I guess only Reddit-stalking dorks like me care about stuff like that. No matter. There’s actually a couple of things here that were new to me.

I’ve only a short time to make it across the bridge, so of course, there’s a logjam. Still, nice to get glimpses of fun cosplay: Sleeping Beauty, Lady Loki, Milo and Kida from Atlantis: the Lost Empire, Agatha Harkness, a game show host, Red Green (it’s a Canada thing), two different takes on Tony Stark and The Winter Soldier.

On my way to my next panel: William Shatner: Boldly Going Beyond in Room 100. The last time I was at one of these featuring him was 2014. Damn weird to think it was so long ago. Age doesn't seem to have dulled him. 

Next panel is Mason Thames: From The Black Phone to How to Train Your Dragon in 206. Whatever you want to say about that remake, at least Tom Holland didn't get cast as Hiccup, just what a lot of unoriginal Internet morons would've willed into being. Good guy and I'm looking forward to the Black Phone sequel.

As much as I’d like to keep my seat for the impending panel - Great Scott! A Look Into the Iconic Back to the Future happening in the same room - the jerks clear the rooms between panels. Oh, well. Back in line, which is even longer than the line for the previous panel. Why am I so interested in this one when the other panels about the movies held no interest? Bob Gale and Mary Steenburgen. As I hoped, their recollections were truly interesting.

Lunch time, at long last. I have no desire to go too far from the building. Hey, I just don't feel like traveling too much. Sometimes, all you want to do is sit your ass down and relax with a delicious poutine from the food truck outside. Of course, that means getting through the long line. After that, I can enjoy the poutine and wash it down with a lukewarm iced tea. Enjoy the simple things.

Deathly dull when you have a lot of time to kill between panels, but there’s so much to see. The show floor of the North Building isn't quite as crowded as that of the South Building (which I plan on going to when I get bored here), making it easy to maneuver around. It's something of a disappointment when you look to a signing booth and find your fave celebrity is nowhere around. Granted, they have lives, too, but still... Just one more stop to go.

“Emily Strikes Back”. Room 709. I'd wanted to see this the last couple years, but circumstances kept me away. Not so, tonight. Fun little play with some terrific performers. Man, it's getting late. I need to get out of here.

Bank Bao can’t fulfill all of my culinary needs. I’d heard about this new place I wanted to try. As such, I’m going to get dinner from Sea Witch. Never had a traditional serving of Fish and Chips, but we're doing it up right tonight. Not too bad. 

Taking the bus back home is the only plan I have. There's a lot of walking involved before and after the bus ride, but on vacation, one must take the exercise where one can get it. Finally, I'm back and I kick my shoes off. I practically rip my socks off afterward. God help me, I just want to relax.

Watching television for the night on my phone. That wonderful soul responsible for the Saturday morning stream also puts up SNICK reruns for the night. Good times. Of course, I do my usual thing of checking Svengoolie content on YouTube. The best of both worlds. I hear a giggle from the other room. I should ignore it...but I won't

I peek my door open and take a look around. Nothing. Back to my room fo--

“Now, what were you hoping to accomplish there?” Callie. Such a nice name, by the way.

“What?”

“I know you were looking out for me or us. Scared?”

“No.”

“Perfect. Good night, you.”

Sleep. Now.

Sunday

Waking up in a strange place surrounded by strangers. Is this what life is like for more confident people?

How I get ready for the day changes from day to day, but Sunday hardly changes. Unless I’m going someplace - like a movie, I don’t get ready at all.

“You figure it out, yet?”

“To be honest, I’m still rolling it around in my head.”

“Honesty? It’s taking this long?”

“Everything in due time.”

How long does it take you to make a decision?”

“Eight seconds.”

“Lollygagger. You have until tonight.”

“Looking forward to it.”

Astonishing that I could be so bold with a woman, but I have big plans for this morning. 

Right down Manning to Dundas for a bus ride to St. Patrick Station, then a subway to King Station and a brisk walk to my destination.

Eat to live, don’t live to eat, people say. I say fuck that noise! It’s Hothouse!
Waffles with syrup and bacon and French toast,
bagels with cream cheese of many they can boast,
two kinds of sausage topped with scrambled eggs,
who really needs all the blood to their legs?
Roasted potatoes, rice pilaf and stir-fry,
so many goodies can make you ugly cry,
cookies and brownies I will squirrel away,
is there anything else for me to say?

Yeah, it’s a real stroke of luck that Fan Expo is so close by, but it’s still a ways to get there. Good. Every bit of exercise I can get, I’ll take. 

On the way, I notice quite a few people in cosplay: Nick Fury, Morticia Addams, Beth from “Total Drama Island” and a mix of Spider-Man and Captain America. Also, I could swear that I got of glimpse of Aunt Gladys from Weapons.

Understand that me going to this panel is based primarily on nostalgia and not because I still like this: Celebrate 30 Years of DiC Sailor Moon With Pretty Heroes and Bear Sailor Moon in 711. Memories of the dub - and some of its more unusual lines - pop up from time to time. Eh, why fight it? I think I found my people.

From there, I hurry toward the bridge to make in time for the next panel: A Conversation With Ron Perlman: Hellboy to Hollywood Legend in 206. If nothing else, this managed to be even more entertaining than the C2E2 panel from 2013.

Robert Picardo. Veteran of “Star Trek: Voyager” and almost every Joe Dante movie. Booked so late there wasn’t even time to get him a panel, so he’s just autographing stuff. What better time than the present?

Eating the food here, I’ve found to be unsatisfying, to say nothing of costly. Thankfully, there’s the option of lunch at Union Station. I decide on falafel from Paramount Fine Foods, to have at least one, non-meat, semi healthy meal traversing my system this weekend.

And back to the other building we go to partake in some Jurassic Trivia! in 709. As ever, I'm forced to guess at the less softball questions, but teamwork does indeed make the dream work and we manage to pull ahead by ten points at the end.

Kinda worried I might not get into the last panel. It’s at 5:15 and the last panel last year kicked us out at five. Still, The Many Worlds of Hailee Steinfeld in Room 100 promised something good. The inaugural convention experience didn’t seem to phase her one bit, but then again, she’s put up with Bills fans. Ain’t nothing taking her down.

So long to Fan Expo Canada for one more year. Would I love to come back? Well, obviously, if the money is there. Chaotic, noisy, crowded…but there’s just an energy here you can’t get anywhere else.

Sonic Boom. No trip to Toronto is complete without it. No surprise soundtracks for me, but the ambiance is gift enough. 

Up Spadina Street we go for another dinner from Bank Bao Menu. Ebi bao, fries and Arizona sweet tea. Nice mix of tastes.

Catching the bus down Dundas one more time, I take in the sights. Even on Sunday night, the area is alive with activity. Maybe, I’m romanticizing this too much, but I can’t overemphasize how much I would love to live here.

Knowledge of tonight’s quiz weighing heavily on my head, I open my laptop and check out a “Twilight Zone” rerun on Amazon Prime. “A Nice Place to Visit”. Pretty much.

I turn toward my door. “Yes?”

“Now, you have to tell me. Who do the purple panties belong to?”

Good God, do I want this to end. I think for a moment. Suddenly, it comes to me.

“Of course!”

“For real?”

“For real.”

“All right, then, smart guy. Who do they belong to?”

“Definitely not either of you.”

“Exceptional deduction. How do you figure that?”

“As you can see, they seem pretty worn and I doubt you'd have taken worn panties on a trip like this.”

“Darling, if they didn’t come from us, whose are they?”

“Panties…those belong to the host.”

“Oh. Well, they'd have to. I've never seen those before this weekend.”

“Delightful. So...do I win anything?”

“Come here.” I follow her to her room and the door shuts behind me.

Airbnbs have been getting a bad rap, but this one led to an incredible experience, so I refuse to hear anything against them.

So long have I waited for something like this and when it happens, you don't know what to say.

They have their way with me in every way they can think of...and a few I'd only dreamt about.

Each time I think I can't go on, they drag me back for another round...and I liked it.

Really, there is my life before and after this night...and I much prefer after.

Monday

It's the morning after Fan Expo. When nerds do their walk of shame back to their button down lives...but I experienced a different kind of walk. I'm back in my bed in my old room. I don't even remember coming back. Eh, what the hell. A shower and a fresh outfit may help me get my mind together.

There's a knock at the door. A little nervous, I open it.

“So, did you have a nice time?”

“None nicer. The guests in the other room were very...interesting.”

On her face is a look of confusion. “What other guests?”

“The two girls in the other room.”

“Girls? There weren't any girls. You had this place all to yourself.”

“Oh, no. That can't be. I distinctly remember...” And that's when it hit me. I didn't recall them mentioning any places they went to. They talked only to me. I couldn't think of a single person that could vouch for their existence. What's more, no pictures.

“‘No drugs’. I believe that was one of the house rules.”

“Never touch that crap. I'm clean.”

“And by the way, you didn't see anything unusual in here during your stay, did you?”

“Besides a pair of purple underwear?”

Rueful. That's how I would describe her current expression.

“I had a very pleasant stay. I just might come back next year.”

“No problem”, she murmurs as she bids a hasty retreat.

Good Lord. All I want to do now is get a breakfast sandwich from Masa Deli and maybe a couple of donuts from Better Days. Gonna be a lot of fun sneaking those past customs.

Heading back to pack my stuff, I'm forced to come to terms with something that should've been obvious.

I hallucinated two hot girls staying in the Airbnb.

Moreover, I hallucinated them wanting to get down with me.

Best case scenario, I can make a pretty good living with what I came up with.

Alternatively, this is the sign that I've finally snapped and my imagination was teasing me with an elaborate (yet wholly fictional) scenario.

Crushing realization that I chose my Fan Expo schedule over getting to know two women, even if they didn't exist. Still...

Killer imagination I've got, don't you think?