Mr. Cellophane

In a location adjacent to a place in a city of some significance, what comes out of my head is plastered on the walls of this blog.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

A few minor things:

- That 'how do I tell my folks about Fan Expo Canada?' thing kind of solved itself (I told them). Still, I am a touch concerned about how I tell them that I no longer have a job.

- Speaking of which, I plan to post a list/rant about what I hated about that job in due time. (Employers focus on Twitter and Facebook pages for potential hires, neither of which are linked to this blog.)

- Still gathering everything I need for my little excursion, like what I need when I get there...and what I'll need to cross the border.

- Thanks to one of the people I watch at deviant art, I've heard about a fascinating, short-lived comic that ran for four issues. If I find those issues up North, I promise to write about the series when I get back.

- Plotting out my trip, I see that all the places I'm going can be reached on foot. I wonder if it's too late for a Megabus ticket.


Monday, August 18, 2014

Long before Liam Neeson or Chuck Norris, there was one name in the field of memetic badassery in film: Charles Bronson. This mash-up shows that many of the trailers of his films seem to follow a common formula...and damned if it isn't a hoot to watch:


Sunday, August 10, 2014

Random thoughts - a stomach of vomiting butterflies.

Got a lot on my mind.

- Based solely on my resume, I am being courted by an insurance company, but the assurance of not letting things wait has devolved into a game of phone tag. Somehow, I don't think I'll be it.

- My laptop - that was practically like another limb - died on me. I took it to a repair shop, but he isn't 100% sure what's wrong with it. I'm waiting to hear back from him. Meanwhile, just in case, I'm awaiting a new one I won from ebay.

- There are far more stupid people than smart people working and shopping at the store. I'm not feeling too much remorse about giving my two weeks notice in the next couple days...

- ...but this leaves the uncomfortable question of money once I quit my job. I have a number of responsibilities and while there are a number of options open to me, I fear that they will not come soon enough.

- And, wimp that I am, I'm still figuring out the best way to spring news of my trip to Fan Expo Canada on my parents, while broaching the aforementioned points of a) not having my current job and b) not yet having a new job.

- Also, I'm still struggling with several aspects of that trip: what I need to cross the border, whether I should be concerned about my still-busted-but-crazy-expensive-to-replace speedometer, where exactly I want to go assuming I even make it to Toronto.

I think I'd feel a lot better if I had more confidence. Where do I even get that?


Monday, August 04, 2014

Silent Movie (John Morris)

Filmmaker Mel Funn (director/co-writer Mel Brooks) has a plan to save the beleaguered Big Picture Studios: a silent movie! But that could never work...or could it?

An interesting choice of material for Brooks following the one-two punch of Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. Not every gag lands, but it is a real delight for those who get into it.

John Morris contributed a lively score for the film, from its bouncy main theme to the haughty melody for Engulf and Devour to the insistent motif for Marty Eggs' (Marty Feldman) failed pick-up attempts.

(Note: Some of the tracks run into each other in the film, making this perhaps the hardest track listing I've ever done, but I like to think I did my best.)

Silent Movie
music by
John Morris

1. Main Titles 2.43
2. Pregnant Lady 1.17
3. A Brilliant Idea/Big Picture Studios 0.47
4. Two Cigars 1.02
5. Good Luck 0.32
6. Silent Prayer/Fingers Crossed 0.56
7. Bad News/Next Big Hit 0.57
8. Slapstick Lives 0.11
9. Good News/Latest Fashions 2.34
10. Burt Reynolds' House 0.41
11. Over the Wall 0.19
12. The Shower/Tall Visitor 2.16
13. Burt Says Yes 0.13
14. Breaking News/James Caan 2.05
15. Broken Spring 0.14
16. A Little Snack 0.33
17. Getting the Story 0.22
18. City Skyline/Engulf and Devour 3.58
19. Happy Drive 0.29
20. The Wrong Dog Rag 1.25
21. Lunch Rush/Screening Room 1.02
22. The Day's Shooting 0.39
23. Mel's Promise 0.34
24. Liza Minnelli/Knight Time 1.31
25. Liza Says Yes 0.30
26. Get My Coat 1.36
27. Anne Bancroft 2.25
28. The New Flamencos 3.58
29. The Pause that Refreshes 1.15
30. At the Hospital 1.20
31. Hospital Rush 0.49
32. Bad Medicine 2.13
33. Going to Call Paris 0.40
34. Marcel Marceau 1.33
35. It's Paul Newman 0.37
36. Wheelchair Chase 2.54
37. The Board Gets a Raise 0.41
38. No Drinks/Dancing Fool 2.41
39. Vilma's Dance 3.02
40. First Date 4.07
41. Mel Drinks and Staggers 2.49
42. Looking for Mel/Lord of the Winos 3.07
43. Pile of Bums 0.41
44. Let's Make that Movie!/Sneaky Preview/Final Chase/Coke Dealers/That's a Wrap 8.31
45. Positive Response 1.38
46. End Cast 1.28


Thursday, July 31, 2014


I run like a madman out of the convention center. I must look like a freak to the people walking around...the people dressed like various characters of TV and film. Work with me, here.

A car pulls up in front of the center. The window rolls down.

"Get in!"


Security's nipping at my heels. I dive into the back seat. The car peels off.

I glance at something wrapped in plastic. Action Comics #1.

"What the hell is this?"

"Oh, that's just something I picked up."

This ain't hard to figure at all. "You stole this!"

"I stole it back from the son of a bitch who stole it from me. Fair is fair."

"Well, Billie Jean, your little mission could get us arrested."

"That's a hell of a way to say 'thank you'."

"I've never been in trouble with the law before. Why would I say thank you?"

"I'm really getting this from the guy who went onto Craigslist looking for Comic-Con tickets?"

"Fair point."


My luggage sits on the curb in front of the hotel. Kind of a miracle nothing was stolen.

I grab my things and head back into the back seat.

"Does this car go to the airport?"


Sucking down quesadillas at the airport. Not the most auspicious ending to this year's Con, but, hey, at least I didn't get arrested.

I glance up at the television screen. There I am again.

I guess this meal is to go.


My flight doesn't leave for another three hours. Not sure I can avoid detection for that long. Still, getting a taste of awesomeness for a few days only to have it cruelly snatched away from you when you need to return to real life...isn't that what Comic-Con is all about?

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Sunday, 12:00am

"What do you mean, 'he's not here'?"

Monty advances on me. "I'll try again in English: he's not here."

"We each got back around ten. He's gone." Lila glances from the bed.

"Where do you think he went?"

"Hell if I know."

"I don't know about you, but I'm going back to bed."

"Me too. Glen knows the way."

"Yeah." I strip my clothes off and settle into bed. At last, there's room on one of the beds. Still, what the hell happened to him?


I get up. Everyone else seems to be dressed, but they don't look very excited.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know about you, but we're headed for the airport."

"But there's one more day of Con."

"Yeah. Sunday."

"Besides, there's only so many times I can watch that "Buffy" episode with a crowd."

"Well, I want to get the full four day experience."

"Do whatever you want."

"I will."


What a bunch of babies. I don't need them. I just need these next few hours of fun. Ah, pancakes. Breakfast of champions.


My shuttle bus pulls up. Those guys don't know what their missing. I get off the bus.


Maybe, it's the performers or the stories or something in the water, but I find myself drawn to these direct-to-DVD "Scooby-Doo" movies. This new one, "Frankencreepy", looks decent.


I head for the show floor. Time to take advantage of discounts.

The crowd gathered around the comic has recommiserated. Action Comics #1 is gone.

I turn around. Pictures of the Con-victs flash across a big screen.

I'm not sure if my picture has appeared yet. I run the hell out of there.


Okay, I probably should be hiding, but I want to see at least one more panel before I get pinched.

What better one than "Cartoon Voices"?


All right. I've managed to avoid capture and let go of my stress, for now. All I need now is to find a way to get back to the hotel. No doubt the drivers have been made aware.


I'm not quite out of the center yet. I just need to get past that gathering of "Adventure Time" cosplayers. Man, those guys don't mess around.

A hand grabs my shoulder. My heart stops right then and there. I fall out.

It's Angelica. "Whoa. Are you okay?"

"Sort of."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with your picture on a screen in the show floor, would it?"

"Hashtag, Craigslist, six people in one room, curfew, mad haxxor skills."

"I didn't understand one word of that."

"The threat of incarceration tends to jumble my thoughts."

"Well, you best get the fudge out."

"I'm trying." I hurry off.

I'm almost at the exit. Better slow my roll, so as not to arouse suspicion.

"Hey!", I hear someone shout from high above me.

And that plan's down the tubes. I doubt this would've happened at C2E2.

Sunday, July 27, 2014



"What's up?"

"Just having some lunch."

"Yeah, I can see that. Any plans for later?"

"Well, I'm gonna go to the 'Big Trouble in Little China' panel. You?"

"I wanted to go to the Weird Al panel, but tickets sold out, so I'm going to the 'Spotlight on Willie Ito'. He's this animator who worked with Chuck Jones and animated on "The Flintstones" and Lady and the Tramp."

"Sounds awesome."


An awkward silence.

"Are things really gonna be weird between us?"

She shrugs. "They shouldn't have to be. You're a great guy."

"I try."

I dig back into my burrito.

"So, you seeing anyone else?"

I almost choke. Would she be mad if I was? "I haven't really found anyone yet."

"Oh. Neither have I."

Was that a hint? Does she want us to be a thing? Why can't girls be more overt about this? It would save countless amounts of trouble.

"Well, I'll see you."

"Take care." I take a huge sip of root beer to get my breath back.


Back at the Con. Something happening outside the show floor. Pinkie Pie confronted by Marvel's god of chaos.

Okey dokey Loki, indeed.


I've really been digging the Big Trouble in Little China comic, which is odd when you consider I've only seen bits and pieces of film. Just another one of those things I never got around to.

Still, I can't wait to see where the comic goes. Pretty cool how so many follow-ups that likely wouldn't have been produced otherwise are appearing in comic form.

The mind boggles at how many follow-ups I'd kill to see, even as mere comic books.


The panel lets out. I head for the show floor.

A crowd gathers around. I hear snatches of whispers: '...most expensive comic...' '...give my left nut...' '...been showing it off for fifteen years...'

Action Comics #1. Must be a sight.


I really liked "Gargoyles" when I was a kid, so of course, I felt I should attend the 20th anniversary panel. Should be fun hearing about what went into making it.


What a panel. I thought I was going to go deaf when Keith David took the stage.

"Hey, you!"


"You got to stop being so surprised to see me."


"So, any plans for tonight?"

"I just thought I'd turn in early. There's nothing going on."

"Seriously, grandpa? There's always something going on."

She drags me off.


"...all I'm saying is that they probably shouldn't have put a deaf guy behind the wheel."

"I just hope that poor woman is okay."

"Me too."

She still has me by the hand. Afraid I'll run off, probably.


Don't think I've been here before. A lot of people here having fun. After all this time, I'm still worried about looking foolish in public?

Ah, what the hell.


It happened again. I can hardly remember what happened and I'm breaking curfew. Whatever happened to Dexter and Valk, I really don't want to happen to me. I want to be here for Saturday.


I head for the room, unsure of what yarn I need to spin to avoid "disappearing".

I open the door. "Glen, I know what you're going to say, but..."

"Save it, Shep." Monty greets me.

"Where the hell were you?" Lila stares at me from bed.

"Getting lucky, from the looks of it." Peggy points at my neck. I run to the mirror. A hickey.

Monty shrugs. "I guess I can't be too mad. Oh, and Glen's not here."