I haven't yet Googled pneumonia, but how can a person be sick for going on two weeks? I'll call a priest before I call Ripley's. This is nuts.

"Chicago! Gotta drink to that!"

It all started with a day at work (this could be argued that that's how a number of script ideas/plot points got established, but never mind). I was presented with the vacation schedule, where I got to fill in the weeks when I could take my vacation. This was back in February. Much to my chagrin, I found that my fellow co-workers took the week of (and weeks surrounding) San Diego Comic-Con...just like last year.

I needed some time to think about it. I really wanted to attend a convention this year. I made a list of potential conventions to attend. Drawing a mental Venn diagram between conventions and available weeks, I found a match: Chicago Comic and Entertainment Expo (or C2E2), the weekend of April 26-28. 'Huh', I thought. 'A convention the same week as my birthday, and I've never been to Chicago. Let's do it!'

I dove head first into planning this trip: looking up restaurants, looking up music stores, booking a flight, listing places I wanted to go to. I grew somewhat nervous as the day drew near, but I guess I thought it important to keep a cool head and a good attitude.

Thursday - I arrived at O'Hare International Airport. Now, Chicago is famous for, among many other things, the el tracks. What I didn't know until moments after I arrived was that the el tracks lead right to downtown. How many other cities can you think of with that kind of convenience? Not many, I bet. I took the train, following along with the map in my streetwise Chicago travel map (only $6.95 at Barnes & Noble). The bellowing, "starving" homeless guy aside, it was an enjoyable ride.

My arrival at Roosevelt Station (transferred from the blue line to the red line) was undercut by heading in the wrong direction. I turned back around, heading toward my home-away-from-home, the Best Western Grant Park. It involved quite a bit of walking. As I skipped breakfast, I was hungry. I practically inhaled a chicken salad sandwich combo from a nearby Dunkin' Donuts. I got to the Best Western Grant Park, but my room wasn't available, at least not until 3:00. I was able to leave my suitcase in a storage closet while I toured the city...well, the city in and around Wabash leading up to Randolph.

There were a number of places I wanted to hit up. As I traversed the streets, I was struck by how many homeless people there were; just sitting in the streets, holding up signs. Doing my best to ignore them (...oh, like you wouldn't!), I wandered around, taking pictures and soaking up the sights.

I'd been ordering from Graham Crackers Comics on and off for years, but this was my chance to see the store for myself. It was interesting to see the place, even if it was, ultimately, inferior to Midtown Comics and the two places I visited last year in Los Angeles. Still, I picked up "Supurbia #6 and the Ghostbusters" '100 page Spooktacular', so the trip wasn't a waste.

Heading up to Randolph, I stopped at the FYE. Disappointingly, the one location that exists around here is a letdown in most respects. The one on Randolph, however...wow! Two levels of stuff: movies on the ground floor, music upstairs. The locations that closed down were pretty good, but this one blew them away. This must've been what it was like to be inside a Sam Goody or Virgin Megastore. Having a limited supply of money sucked, but I did pick up some soundtracks and Land of the Lost on DVD (seriously, that movie is hilarious).

After picking up some Mrs. Fields cookies (I'll never not have a taste for them), I went back down South State, witnessing the people, the locations and the el train passing periodically overhead. As I headed back for the hotel, I was craving something delicious. Something without which a trip to Chicago is incomplete (to say nothing of pointless). Say it with me, now: deep dish pizza.

I had hoped for a slice, but one of the places I passed only had whole pies. Much as I desired the stuff, I didn't have the stamina for a whole pizza. Then, I saw it: Lou Malnati's Pizzeria. They had deep dish pizza...in a 6-inch pie. Sounds marvelous. Instead of plain cheese, I wanted one with sausage and pepperoni. Let me tell you: Chicago deep dish pizza lives up to the hype.

More walking followed and I got back to the hotel, where my room was finally available. I got to kick back, enjoy the latest episode of "Community" and just plain relax, awaiting the festivities tomorrow.

Friday - I mentioned that there was a restaurant next to my hotel: Yolk. The place was busy. Very nice atmosphere, personable staff and, of course, the food. I decided on the Countryside Skillet. A truly marvelous flavorgasm and definitely something to work into my rotation on future trips to the Windy City.

It's important to have something to snack on while walking the conventions, so I stopped by a store to load up on supplies. Today's snack: Junior Mints and Lipton Brisk Sweet Tea. Momentarily forgetting the pick-up spot closer to my hotel, I head up Roosevelt and head down South State. After what feels like a good half-hour, the bus arrives and whisks me and my fellow geeks to McCormick Place. The final destination is what seemed like an underground tunnel, making the experience more than a little creepy.

That sense of unease dissipated when I took the two escalators to the main floor of C2E2. It's always a little daunting seeing so many people...and most of them dressed up. (I got a lot of good shots. Favorite: A tie between Jessica Rabbit and the girl dressed like the house from Up. The one that got away: the genderflipped Rise of the Guardians grouping of Jack Frost, The Tooth Fairy and the Easter Rabbit.)

Surprisingly, people go to comic conventions to buy comic books. (Yeah. Weird.) Thankfully, I was able to plug up a few holes in my collection. It sucks that I have to go to such extremes to get this done, but there it is.

In addition to the cosplay and the comics, there was also the merchandise. Unfortunately, I only brought so much money with me on this safari, so the stuff I really wanted to get was not going home with me. Case in point: a t-shirt that mashed up a now-classic fairy tale feature with one of Pixar's finest films..."The Inconceivables". Strangely, on subsequent days, I couldn't remember where I'd seen the shirt and, to this day, I'm half-convinced that I imagined the shirt.

The one panel of the day that caught my fancy was "Wikia Qwizards: Sci-Fi Quiz Championship". Basically, a game show that specialized in trivia about video games and genre film and television. The video game questions stumped me, but I had a blast with the rest of the panel. I was even asked to answer a question. ("True or false: Kirk and Spock were younger in 2009's Star Trek because the film took place in a parallel universe." Having a vague recollection of the film, I answered "...true?" It was correct.)

All was not well on this day. Succumbing to peer pressure, I opted for a nacho plate...but the meal was so greasy, I refused to finish, lest I risk puking all over some poor patron.

After a while of stalking the show floor, I went back to my hotel where, after picking up a cheeseburger and fries from Mei's Kitchen, I retired to my room and settled in for dinner and a show (the show in question being "Happy Endings"). Sometimes, it's best to savor the simple things.

Saturday - I got up and headed downstairs for breakfast. Yolk looked to be full, but looks can be deceiving (more on that later), so I took in the breakfast buffet at Mei's. I can never resist a good breakfast buffet. Waiting for the bus at my designated stop, I had to snap a picture of a little girl dressed as Merida from Brave. Too adorable.

The shuttle bus arrived, taking us to c2e2. The day promised to be much busier, and it was. I figured I'd need to get in early for the Patton Oswalt Q & A, so I blew off a pair of somewhat interesting-sounding panels: "Writing for Television" and "Grimm Fairy Tales Animated".

Who knows what I missed, but it was worth it to get a good seat. Oswalt talked about his career and his family. The highlight of the panel, by far, was the sudden appearance of fellow stand-up Brian Posehn and his "tweets" about Oswalt.

Next on the schedule: "IDW Publishing Presents: the Greatest Panel in History". Much as I love their titles, the name didn't live up to the hype, so, after about 15 minutes, I skipped out, hoping to get Oswalt's autograph in my copy of "Zombie Spaceship Wasteland" (fun fact: the paperback copy being sold on the floor had even more content than my purchased-at-Borders-in-their-final-death-throes hardcover copy, including the Ain't It Cool News reviews he wrote as "Neill Cumpston").

The line was, of course, crazy long, but I figured it'd be worth it. The hour during which Oswalt would be signing was nearly up by the time my turn came. I can't say I blame him too much for not acknowledging me as he signed my book, but it does hurt a little.

Next stop: Ron Perlman Q & A. There were a number of fascinating bits about his career, from his reaction to Sigourney Weaver's trick shot in Alien Resurrection to his singing aspirations (and how his Sinatra-style crooning put him against a young turk named Seth MacFarlane).

Leaving my phone on is not a usual thing for me, but when you keep it on all day, the juice is bound to run out. I spend some time getting it charged back up. Then, it was on to "Nerd City". The only thing I clearly remember from it is the animated short that was featured. Had a very "Black Dynamite" vibe to it, even though the main character was a white guy.

I considered going to "Promic-Con", but the money just wasn't there, so I instead opted for the "Keep Your Pants On 2: Electric Boogaloo" panel. Basically advice on dating for geeks. Something must've gotten into me, as I was compelled to ask a question: "What do you do if you're too shy to even talk to a girl?" Answer: just go for it. If only...

I boarded the shuttle bus back, but, deciding that I wanted to have an adventure, I got off in front of Graham Crackers Comics...at 9:00pm...several blocks from my hotel...with a brisk wind nipping at my uncovered areas. Ultimately, my main concern was less for adventure than for a) getting back safely and b) finding something to eat. Fortunately, Starbucks was open and an egg salad sandwich with chips and a hot chocolate made for a nice dinner.

Following my "adventure", I returned to my hotel, grateful for the warmth and safety of my temporary home.

Sunday - I returned to Yolk for breakfast and ordered the Blue Bayou Frittata, which consisted of (among other things) eggs, blue cheese, tomatoes and spinach. With all due respect to the culinary artisans who created the meal, there are some things that do not go together.

Off to c2e2. More stalking the show floor and more snapping pictures. This time, I concentrate on the awesome merchandise, from the work ID badges on the Enterprise and NCIS to inventive mashup pictures. ("My Little Pony"/"Dogs Playing Poker" and a movie monster variation on The Expendables poster being two favorites. Sadly, I didn't snap a shot of that one artist's rendering of Hellboy in "Sons of Anarchy" garb.)

Next: "We are BOOM!". BOOM Studios has impressed me lately and I was excited to see what they had in store. A number of Cartoon Network shows are yet to appear in comic book form. Sounds fun.

Following a cheeseburger and fries for lunch (better than the nachos, but my jaw was working overtime to break them down), I went for the "Wikia Qwizards: Sci-Fi Championship" panel. A lot of fun, though I was a little dismayed at the first challenge: "Name a planet, real or fictional". The three contestants seemed to be sticking to real planets, then they got stuck on whether or not Pluto still counted. (There's a wealth of planets they missed. Partial list: Omicron Persei 8, Krypton, The Neutral Planet, Spengo. I mean, come on!)

As with Friday's panel, I volunteered to answer questions, but this time for a shot at some fabulous prizes! I answered three out of four correctly (one of them was about George Lucas's original choice for Han Solo; my Christopher Walken impression as I gave the correct answer seemed to have little, if any, impression on the crowd) and earned a gaming keyboard...though a new pair of earbuds would've been nicer and less cumbersome on the trip home.

My flight home was set to leave at around 7:00pm. The panel ended at 4:15. Clearly, this was a problem, compounded by the fact that the shuttle bus back to near my hotel was full, with a good 20 minute wait for the next one. Deciding that I may as well do something constructive, I chatted up a cute girl also waiting for the bus. I get back to my hotel, hoping to take a shuttle to the airport. As it turns out, I had to make the arrangement with the hotel 24 hours in advance.

The time was 5:15pm. At this point, I could either take the subway back to O'Hare for only five bucks and risk just missing my flight or I could bite the bullet and take a cab. Weighing my options, I took a cab. Though the driver was fast, the traffic was murder, somewhat atypically for a Sunday (or maybe, this was business as usual for Chicago roadways). Still, I got to O'Hare, $40 poorer but glad that I made it in time.

In spite of very minor misgivings, I had a lot of fun, at c2e2 and in Chicago. I would very much like to do it again.

Still working on my Chicago post...and trying to get a drawing done by tomorrow night.

I fucking missed Free Comic Book Day. I had to work. The goddamn of it is that it's a two-day event at the comic book shop I frequent the most...and I have to work both fucking days! You see my problem?

On top of that, I'm sick. Not sure whether I should go with bed rest, plenty of fluids or walking blindly into traffic. Who's to say?

Summer movie preview.

May:

Iron Man 3 - Robert Downey Jr. reunites with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang director Shane Black for what promises to be the darkest Iron Man yet. Try and stop me from seeing it.

The Great Gatsby - The latest incarnation of Fitzgerald's tome, with all the glitz one would expect of the guy who directed Moulin Rouge.

Peeples - A Tyler Perry-produced take on Meet the Parents...yet, the film looks far more amusing than that would imply.

Star Trek Into Darkness - The crew of the Enterprise faces a devious foe. Seems like a spiritual evocation of Wrath of Khan...not a bad model.

Epic - A teenage girl is shrunk and finds herself in the midst of a battle between two factions. Pretty ambitious for Blue Sky Studios, but the comic relief seems a bit iffy. Also, what the hell is a 'Pitbull'?! (He - it? - is one of the voices.)

The Hangover Part III - Fuck you too, Hollywood!

Fast and Furious 6 - I guess as long as there are fancy cars and hot chicks, these movies won't end.

After Earth - Okay, wait, didn't we just see this movie, only it was called Oblivion? I guess it doesn't matter. Nine times out of ten, Will Smith summer movies are a license to print money.

Now You See Me - Magicians utilize their skills to pull off daring robberies. Neat trailer, impressive cast.

June:

The Purge - Apparently, there's a brief period of time that will allow you to commit whatever wrongdoing you want and get away with it. I'm almost scared what I'd do in such a scenario.

The Internship - Following a downsizing, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson try to land an internship that could lead to a job with Google. The trailer was funnier than I expected.

Much Ado About Nothing - An interesting palate cleanser for Joss Whedon in-between Avengers movies.

Man of Steel - Proof positive that you can fail upwards in Hollywood, the director of Sucker Punch brings us a Superman movie.

This is the End - Playing themselves (I suppose), Seth Rogen, James Franco, Craig Robinson, Danny McBride and Jay Baruchel face the end of the world. Amusing trailer. Fun fact: this marks the directorial debut of Rogen and his writing partner, Evan Goldberg.

The Bling Ring - Apparently based on the true story of a group of young adults who shook down the homes of the rich and famous.

Monsters University - The prologue to Monsters, Inc. Here's hoping it can live up to its charming trailers.

World War Z - Deviations from the source material aside, this zombie action movie isn't really grabbing me.

White House Down - Two CGI insect movies. Two mall cop movies. Two 'fighting through an apartment block of killers' movies. Now, here is the second of the year's two 'a lone Secret Service agent must protect the President against bad guys' movies. This one stars Channing Tatum as the agent and Jamie Foxx as the President.

The Heat - The trailer states, "Bullock. McCarthy. Any questions?" Just one: where's the bloody script?

July:

Despicable Me 2 - Having gone good, Gru is recruited to help take down a new bad guy (voiced by Javier Bardem).

The Lone Ranger - Even though it appears to be little more than Pirates of the Frontier (from the same director/producer combo), this adaptation of the legendary hero looks like fun.

Pacific Rim - Okay, I'm seeing Cloverfield, RobotJox and a few other titles that don't immediately spring to mind. Still, it's a Guillermo Del Toro movie. Some awesomeness is assured.

Grown Ups 2 - The usual gang of idiots returns...minus Rob Schneider? Scandalous!

R.I.P.D. - After losing his life, a cop is given a new assignment: rounding up stray spirits. Basically Men in Black with ghosts, but looks quite fun. From the director of RED, and speaking of which...

RED 2 - Having survived (for the most part) the 2010 onslaught of 'team of asskickers' movies, the team is back in action.

Turbo - A snail gains the ability to race in NASCAR. Seriously. Dreamworks surprised me with The Croods. Maybe, lightning will strike twice.

The Conjuring - James Wan returns to Insidious territory with this tale of married paranormalists assisting a haunted family.

The Wolverine - Logan's back and he's in Japan. Just like the tag at the end of X-Men Origins: Wolverine promised.

August:

300: Rise of an Empire - I'm pretty sure this is a prequel. Not sure we need one, but here it is.

The Smurfs 2 - What's blue and silly and green all over? Wait, I think I told that wrong.

2 Guns - Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg are forced to work together when an operation goes south. Kind of like if Safe House were more Tango and Cash than 'srs bsnss'. Looks fun.

We're the Millers - A pot dealer's got one last job before he can retire: delivering a huge shipment from Mexico. However, he's gonna need a fake family as cover. The draft I read of this was hilarious. Hopefully, subsequent rewrites have kept the funny.

Elysium - Gee whiz, another movie where Earth is gutted in the future? Okay, Al Gore, we'll recycle already! Anyway, the man behind District 9 is back.

Planes - A Disney CGI feature with Dane Cook voicing the lead character. You're sure this isn't a direct-to-DVD movie? Really? Well, shoot.

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters - In recent years, I've developed a mild fascination with Greek mythology, so (for the sake of my own career) I'm hoping this does well.

Kick-Ass 2 - More ass to be kicked, more names to be taken. Awesome (red-band) trailer.

The To-Do List - A high school senior makes a list of things to do before heading for college? What kind of list? Well, replace 'things' with 'people' and you're on the right track.

Paranoia - To enjoy the good life at his new workplace, a young turk must do a little spying, but who can he trust? From the director of Legally Blonde and The Ugly Truth. No, really.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones - Looks like Screen Gems wants a piece of the Twilight pie, now.

The World's End - Apparently Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz were the first two-thirds of a trilogy and this feature is the final part. Can't wait.

One Direction: This is Us - Yet another concert movie. What can you do?

Getaway - A race-car driver must put his skills to the test to save his wife. This could go either way.

Lost in the stacks. (The Adventures of a Comic-Con Girl)

I love comic books. I've been collecting for roughly the last decade. However, I'm not drawn toward traditional titles. Somehow, I gravitate toward limited-run titles. These comics, more often than not, fall through the cracks and are forgotten, lost to time. This column aims to shine a light on these titles and, hopefully, make them some new fans...or draw out the old ones.

Is there anything more exhilarating to a pop culture junkie, comic book lover or social outcast than a comic convention? Spending a few days on another world somehow ensconsed in another city, meeting all manner of people of like minds, looking for a good time...or maybe, that oh-so-elusive back issue to complete your collection. However, one must Con responsibly; just because you're in another world doesn't mean you should act a fool. If one does not heed this warning...well, read on.

Meet Dana. Cute, quick-witted...and a poster child for impulse control problems. Whether searching for an autograph from Billy Green Lee or her specially-signed issue of "Werewolves vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies", she is a one-woman wrecking crew, unconcerned with who she manipulates or what she destroys on her way to her goals. Her two friends, Tatiana and MFK, are constantly shown to be at their wits end with her, leading one to wonder if this is but the latest in a string of incidents.

Okay, cards on the table: how much you like this title will live and die on how much you identify with (or even tolerate) Dana. Within the first two pages, she's dropped a deuce on the floor of her hotel room...and she doesn't feel remorseful about it. She doesn't get much more likable from there.

The formulaic nature of the first two issues could also be a problem: Dana wants something; someone reminds her of a past indiscretion, Hangover-style; Tatiana and MFK bitch her out for her irresponsibility; someone gets hurt or into trouble because of her, but remorse is for chumps, so on she goes; she has flirty banter with the cute nameless guy.

Now, it may sound like I'm coming down hard on "The Adventures of a ComicCon Girl", but I did enjoy the title. The artwork is good, it's packed with neat gags (my favorite: Dana's encounter with the "Klingons") and there is the feel of being at a convention. (I'm delighted that this was one of two titles from last year to center around the frenzy of the Con; you may have heard of the other: "Fanboys vs. Zombies").

Issue three (of three parts) turns the aforementioned formula on its head. Dana's big gesture to mend her ways (somewhat) is an impressive moment that does a fair job of redeeming her rather selfish character. (Incidentally, the co-writer of this series is named Dana Braziel-Solovy. Allowing for the fact that 'Dana' is gender-neutral, I can only wonder if the book was a kind of demon-exorcising or just a fluke.)

Overall, I really liked "The Adventures of a ComicCon Girl". If you stay with it, you might like it, too.

Grade: B

Availability: Released by Antarctic Press, it should still be available.

Birthday wishes.

My 32nd birthday is but hours away. It took me quite a while to turn in a list of what I wanted. This, of course, is because, as I get older, I find that my family can't give me what I really want, so I give them softball requests like socks and gift cards.

What I'd wish for if I had any inkling that wishing works in real life (and they say you shouldn't outright state your wishes if you want them to come true, but no one reads this blog, so it's pretty much the same thing as not saying what you want):

1. a girlfriend - I suppose that I could wish for friends; maybe someone who could gradually become a girlfriend or someone who could hook me up, but at this point, screw the middleman. I want to screw.

2. a bottomless bank account - I love traveling. I love buying soundtracks. I love eating. How am I supposed to pay for these things that I love? Hint: it ain't hope.

3. a stronger spine - Throughout my life, I've never had the courage to go after the things I want. It happens every so often, but I wish I could be as bold as others, especially people younger than me. It kills me reading about people younger than myself succeeding and I think to myself, 'what could I have done at that age?'

MTV Movie Awards ballot '13.

So, the MTV Movie Awards were last night. Not in June. Not in May. Last night. I don't get it, either. Didn't watch; I just didn't feel like it. I heard that Julie Powers Kanye'd Ron Burgundy, but I know nothing of what happened, or who won. Still, as ever, here is my ballot, based on movies that I saw. Yes, my tastes are quite eclectic. Winners are in bold.

best on-screen duo:
Jamie Foxx and Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Karl Urban and Olivia Thirlby, Dredd
Will Smith and Josh Brolin, Men in Black 3
Mark Wahlberg and Ted, Ted
Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, 21 Jump Street

best action sequence:
the Helicarrier battle, The Avengers
protecting Sommerton Junction, The Last Stand
battle at the Pink Blossom, The Man with the Iron Fists
the 7th floor massacre, The Raid: Redemption
from a motorcycle to a train, Skyfall

best comedic performance:
Sacha Baron Cohen, The Dictator
Johnny Depp, Dark Shadows
Will Ferrell, The Campaign
Zach Galifianakis, The Campaign
Sam Rockwell, Seven Psychopaths

best villain:
Javier Bardem, Skyfall
Tom Hardy, The Dark Knight Rises
Tom Hiddleston, The Avengers
Guy Pearce, Lawless
Jean-Claude Van Damme, The Expendables 2

best breakthrough performance - male:
Dane Dehaan, Lawless
Jared Gilman, Moonrise Kingdom
Scoot McNairy, Argo
Ezra Miller, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Benjamin Walker, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

best breakthrough performance - female:
Catherine Chan, Safe
Kara Hayward, Moonrise Kingdom
Bella Heathcote, Dark Shadows
Victoria Justice, Fun Size
Zoe Kazan, Ruby Sparks

best male performance:
Daniel Craig, Skyfall
Logan Lerman, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Brad Pitt, Killing Them Softly
Karl Urban, Dredd
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

best female performance:
Jessica Chastain, Lawless
Anne Hathaway, The Dark Knight Rises
Helen Mirren, Hitchcock
Emma Stone, The Amazing Spider-Man
Emma Watson, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

best fight:
Robert Downey, Jr. vs Chris Hemsworth, The Avengers
Logan Lerman vs. the bullies, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Iko Uwais and Doni Alamsyah vs. Yayan Ruhian, The Raid: Redemption
Mark Wahlberg vs. Ted, Ted
Colin Farrell vs. Kate Beckinsale, Total Recall

best kiss:
Benjamin Walker and Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, The Amazing Spider-Man
Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, Gangster Squad
Logan Lerman and Emma Watson, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan, Ruby Sparks

best movie:
The Avengers
Django Unchained
Lawless
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Skyfall