"Tonight, we honor Hollywood's best and whitest-- brightest!"
Anna Kendrick joins NPH in honoring Hollywood.
Okay, I'm nominating Jack Black for next year's Oscar host.
Neat song. It was written by the Lopezes (Frozen
Lupita Nyong'o presents Best Supporting Actor. The Oscar goes to...J.K. Simmons (1/24). Gave a very nice speech. I should listen to my parents more.
NPH's Oscar predictions are under guard by Octavia Spencer. Hey, it's not a pizza party, right?
Liam Neeson introduces Best Picture nominees The Grand Budapest Hotel
and American Sniper
Dakota Johnson (let's focus on the third-generation thing, not the 50 Shades
thing) introduces Adam Levine performing "Lost Stars" from Begin Again
Okay, seriously, is
that Lady Gaga?
Jennifer Lopez and Chris Pine present Best Costume Design. The Oscar goes to...Milena Canonero for The Grand Budapest Hotel
(2/24). Almost had a win in each decade; shame about the 90s.
"So delicious, you could eat her up with her spoon." I think it's worse that I got it than if I hadn't. Reese Witherspoon presents Best Make-Up. The Oscar goes to...The Grand Budapest Hotel
. Okay, was the Guardians of the Galaxy
make-up not impressive enough? Look at what they did to Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Karen Gillan and Michael Rooker. Unbelievable.
Channing Tatum tells us of budding filmmakers who will get to present Oscars tonight.
Nicole Kidman and Chiwetel Ejiofor...okay, how tall is she? Oh, yeah. Presenting Best Foreign Language Film. The Oscar goes to...Ida
(3/24). Huh. Go figure. Man, he's really going. He might only get the one shot. Can't blame him for taking advantage.
Shirley MacLaine with Best Picture nominees Boyhood
, The Theory of Everything
Marion Cotillard introduces Tegan and Sara and the Lonely Island performing "Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie
...and, hey, "Darkness (Untitled Self-Portrait)" made it to the Oscars, after all.
Kerry Washington and Jason Bateman present Best Live Action Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."The Phone Call".
Continuing with Best Documentary Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1" (4/24).
Just think: if Viola Davis had won for The Help
, she likely wouldn't be on "How to Get Away with Murder". Anyway, she's telling of the many Lifetime Achievement Awards.
According to Twitter, that really was Will Arnett in the Lego Batman suit. Holy crapballs.
Gwyneth Paltrow introduces Tim McGraw singing "I'm Not Gonna Miss You" from Glen Campbell: I'll Be Me
Okay, where's Neil? Locked out of his dressing room? Come on. Nothing suits him like a suit...oh, I get it. Birdman
reference...crossed with some Whiplash
Harley Quinn and Mr. Fantastic regale us with the Scientific and Technical Awards ceremony.
Sienna Miller and Chris Evans present the Sound Mixing award. The Oscar goes to...Whiplash
Sound Editing award next. The Oscar goes to...American Sniper
Jared Leto presenting Best Supporting Actress. The Oscar goes to...Patricia Arquette for Boyhood
(5/24). Nice of her to give Emma Stone a hug. Fun fact: at the beginning of her career, Stone shared a scene with Arquette on "Medium". Blew my mind when I found out the other day...and now, she's going full-on Sarandon. It's her moment. Let the rest of the net rip on her.
Gotta love Robert Duvall wanting no part of NPH's security nonsense.
Josh Hutcherson introduces Rita Ora performing "Grateful" from Beyond the Lights
, apparently one of the best movies of last year that no one saw.
Ansel Elgort and Chloe Grace Moretz (Tommy and Carrie in the Carrie
remake!) present Best Visual Effects. The Oscar goes to...Interstellar
. Oh, bullshit.
Kevin Hart and Anna Kendrick present Best Animated Short Film. The Oscar goes to..."Feast" (6/24).
Zoe Saldana and Dwayne Johnson present best Animated Feature. The Oscar goes to...Big Hero 6
. Loved the film, but was so hoping for a Laika triumph.
"Presenting the President...of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences." Ha.
Chris Pratt and Felicity Jones present Best Production Design. The Oscar goes to...The Grand Budapest Hotel
Idris Elba and Jessica Chastain present Best Cinematography. The Oscar goes to...Emmanuel Lubezki for Birdman
Meryl Streep introduces the Obituary montage.
Jennifer Hudson sings a tribute.
Naomi Watts and Benedict Cumberbatch present Best Editing. The Oscar goes to...Tom Cross for Whiplash
Terrence Howard with the last three Best Picture nominees: Whiplash
, The Imitation Game
Jennifer Aniston and David Oyelowo present Best Documentary Feature. The Oscar goes to...CitizenFour
Octavia Spencer's not watching NPH's nominations. Oh, wait. She's introducing Common and John Legend performing Selma's
Idina Menzel getting some payback on John Travolta and presenting Best Original Song. The Oscar goes to..."Glory" from Selma
. Didn't see that coming.
Scarlett Johansson introducing a tribute to The Sound of Music
...and Lady Gaga (seriously?!) performing a medley of its songs.
OMG. It's Julie Andrews...and she's here to present Best Original Score (about damn time!). The Oscar goes to...Alexandre Desplat's The Grand Budapest Hotel
(9/24). Fuck yeah!
Eddie Murphy presents Best Original Screenplay. The Oscar goes to...Birdman
Oprah Winfrey presents Best Adapted Screenplay. The Oscar goes to...The Imitation Game
. Hmmm, again. I'm totally taken aback here...and Graham Moore's an American?! Whosa-jigga-what? Okay, got a little heavy just then. (I'm presuming he's gay. Speaking of gay Oscar-winning scribes, whatever became of Dustin Lance Black? After a marvelous script for Milk
, he did J. Edgar
, then nothing. So weird.)
"Benedict Cumberbatch" takes the stage, presenting Best Director. The Oscar goes to...Alejandro Gonzales Innarritu for Birdman
Oh, boy. Cate Blanchett with Best Actor. The Oscar goes to...Eddie Redmayne for The Theory of Everything
. Fucking bullshit!
I'll bring myself to care about the rest of the show, but don't hold your breath. Matthew McConaughey presents Best Actress. The Oscar goes to...Julianne Moore. (10/24). Freaking finally.
NPH's Oscar predictions are unleashed. Pretty dead-on.
Presenting Best Picture is Sean Penn. (For the record, I thought his joke was funny.) The Oscar goes to...Birdman
Well, another Oscar ceremony down. Feeling a little chilly, so I'm hitting the sack. I'll fix any mistakes in the morning. Night, y'all.
Labels: Oscar stuff