Mr. Cellophane

In a location adjacent to a place in a city of some significance, what comes out of my head is plastered on the walls of this blog.

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

Because of a recent sigmoidoscopy, it feels like I'm passing broken glass.

At my workplace, I've been transferred to a department where I understand less than I did at the previous one (I know that what I'm being taught is in English, but it's not arranged in a manner that resembles English)...and I learned that if you don't reach certain goals, they cut your hours.

Because of all of this, I lack the inspiration to complete the projects I really want to get done.

Is this the life anyone dreams of in their youth?

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Sunday, August 23, 2015

Get out of my head, AV Club*!

Just to show that I've watched far too much television in my life, allow me to share with you some of the expressions I use in my everyday life:

"Oh yeah. It's all coming together." (The Emperor's New Groove) - Expressed in the (apparent) belief that one of my plans will go off without a hitch. Needless to say, it usually doesn't.

"Hello, nurse!" (Animaniacs) - As an admirer of the animated series and an appreciator of the female form (you know, a pervert), I can't not use this expression when I see a beautiful girl.

"Daaaaaamn, Gina!" (Martin) - One of several 'come on!' expressions to be found here.

"Hubba-what?" (Sheep in the Big City) - The show (lamentably missing from DVD; WTF, Warner Archive?!) overdid it in season 2, but it still functions as an exclamation of puzzlement at an insane occurrence.

"I hear that, Renegade." (The Simpsons) - This is probably not on anyone's top 500 conversation seasoners from this show, but can you think of a better or funnier way to express agreement?

"Kids. No respect." (The New Batman Adventures) - Okay, the full line is 'Kids these days; no respect.' Even so, the line (thanks to Michael Ironside's delivery) makes for an all-purpose, low-key head shake at people's ignorance.

"Marvy-poo!" (The Pruitts of Southampton) - As detailed in the amusing Vic Mizzy theme song, this show had a good premise (a rich family losing it all, but trying to keep up a pretense of respectability). Hearing it on Percepto's invaluable "Suites and Themes" album, I was particularly struck by Phyllis Diller's exclamation 'Aren't they marvy-poo?'. Very much of its time, but I use it quite often.

"Splee!" (Catscratch) - Simply, something to show happiness, courtesy of one of the most underrated Nicktoons and the character of Waffle, voiced by my fave Kid in the Hall, Kevin McDonald.

"Not a problem, Rat." (Bananas in Pajamas) - Whoa. How'd this get in here? What? I didn't watch this show every morning before I went off to high school. What gave you that idea?

"Who wrote these questions? Forrest Gump?" (Murphy Brown) - I wasn't a huge "Murphy Brown" viewer, but I did catch an episode featuring this line, said in response to the stupidly easy.

"Wow! Ask and ye shall receive!" (That's My Bush!) No one seems to like this Trey Parker-Matt Stone spoof of sitcoms, but I thought it was a hoot. This line is a highlight, a perfect way to show that if you want something, you sometimes get it.

"Yep, yep, yep. Ahhhh!" (Darkwing Duck) - Everything's been taken care of, or so I lead myself to believe by saying this.

"You're breakin' mah balls, Mike." (South Park) - 'Come on!', number two.

"You're killin' me, Smalls." (The Sandlot) - 'Come on!', number three. (Some stuff, I can't deal with.)

"Any day now, Superstar." (Sky High) - I'm not as patient as I pretend to be, so if someone's taking longer than they ought, the words of Coach Boomer echo in my mind. Sure are a lot of Zacks in the world.

"Clean cup! Move down!" (Alice in Wonderland) - Usually, when I want to get to something in a hurry.

"Why do You hate my trains?" (The Simpsons) - From my lips to God's ears, I sometimes ask Him why things don't go as planned.

"That's what I thought you said." (SpongeBob SquarePants) - An abrupt way to get someone to my point of view.

"Crazy doodle bitch." (Cool World) - Bitches be exasperating, right?

"Today's gonna be a great day." (Betsy's Wedding) - Despite a terrific cast (Alan Alda, Madeline Kahn, Molly Ringwald, Burt Young, Ally Sheedy, Catherine O'Hara, Joe Pesci), this 1990 comedy is largely forgotten today except by people flipping around television and stopping in curiosity. Usually, I say this in portent of a good omen (and in Alda's voice; otherwise, I'm wasting oxygen).

* - I'd been prepping this post for years and look what shows up this weekend: What's your go-to pop-culture phrase? Unbelievable.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Let it never be said that random chance can't yield positive results.

So, I'm driving back to work yesterday and looking forward to chowing down on the food I just got from Burger King. My phone rings (because I always have my phone on on lunch break). I answer it (risky, I know). It's a girl from T-Mobile. She tells me I could get a free tablet (well, free inasmuch I'd be paying the taxes on it and a subsequent charge added to my phone bill each month).

Cut to today (the closest time to take advantage). Following a movie that took a while to start - too many ads and no trailers - I was able to get my new tablet, on which this post is being made. My laptop has graduated from randomly freezing up to randomly restarting, so this tablet could not have come at a better time. I just hope that my routine isn't interrupted too much by it.

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Friday, August 14, 2015

Nearly three weeks since my last post. I'd love to say that it's because I'm working on something big...but if you believe that, you're obviously new here.

Just incredibly lazy, is all...but then again, I finished a draft of one script and put a high shine on another one for a contest that ends tomorrow, so how lazy can I be?

Also, it seems that I need to get a new laptop...again (protip: don't try to use your laptop while it's charging).

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Sunday, July 19, 2015

Hudson Hawk (Michael Kamen and Robert Kraft)




Cat burglar Eddie 'Hudson Hawk' Hawkins (Bruce Willis) is barely out of the joint when he gets roped into a weird scheme involving priceless Da Vinci works, the CIA, a millionaire couple and the Vatican. Willis' much-maligned vanity project has its detractors after all these years, but I truly believe it deserves better. Ridiculous, though endearingly so and infinitely quotable. Do give it a shot.

Though best known as an action composer at the time, Michael Kamen got a chance to indulge his wacky side; in addition to clever interpolations of the title song, ambient music reminiscent of Die Hard and a combination love theme/flying theme, he also riffs on a number of musical quotes, from "Mona Lisa" and Beethoven's 5th Symphony to the theme from "The Addams Family".

Hudson Hawk
composed by Michael Kamen and Robert Kraft
conducted by Michael Kamen

1. Da Vinci's Dealings (Main Titles) 6.04
2. Hawk Flies the Coop 1.39
3. Super Mario Brothers, Too 1.47
4. By the Thumbs/Playing by the Pool 3.21
5. After Hours Tour 1.43
6. Hasty Getaway 1.01
7. The Butler Did It 1.23
8. Breaking News 0.41
9. Sweet Talk/Mayflowers Land 3.29
10. 1-800-GONNADIE 2.15
11. Lost in Candyland 1.26
12. Special Delivery 1.28
13. Board Meeting 0.16
14. Juicy Blackmail 0.17
15. Casing the Vatican 2.34
16. Shake Some Tails 0.49
17. Making a Date 0.40
18. Cardinal, Sin? 0.44
19. Reach Out and Punch Someone 1.23
20. Soft Spot for Rome 0.29
21. Open Sesame 2.25
22. Fishing for the Codex 2.50
23. Healing Touch 1.45
24. Trying Decaf/Classic Sting 1.57
25. Keeping Tabs/Confession 2.12
26. Abusing the Help 2.17
27. Cashing Out 0.44
28. All He Cared About 1.16
29. BFFL: Best Friends Fighting Loudly 1.38
30. A Very Special Night/Rude Awakening 0.58
31. Irrelevant Now 1.21
32. A Bad Migraine 0.59
33. To Castle Da Vinci 1.05
34. Double Crossbow 1.31
35. Blocked Exits 0.16
36. Briefing 0.12
37. Hawk vs. Kaplan/Runaway Limo 3.27
38. Falling to Pieces/Happy Ending 8.41

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Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Another taste.

Yep. I went to the Taste of Buffalo this weekend. Both days, as (much with film music) I use food as a substitute for companionship.

Well, let's get to the recapping:

Crab Dip (Joe's Crab Shack) - The spiciness of the chips nearly overpowered the dip, but I quite liked it.

Loaded Tater Tots (Bar Louie) - I heard about these at the Taste website and of course, as an avowed lover of tots, I had to try them. The peppers were a curveball, to be sure, but still, quite delicious. Glad I got the smaller portion.

Jack's Garlic Pan Bread (Jack Astor's Bar and Grill) - Definitely a dish made for the smaller portion option, with its garlic butter sauce.

Bleu Heron Burger (Riverstone Grill) - I still think this could've done with some condiments, but with the blue cheese and onion crumbles, that may have made a bigger mess. Very tasty.

Moink Balls (J & L Blvd BBQ) - First of all, it was a ball. Singular. Also, it was underwhelming, given the name. A meatball in barbecue sauce. Good, but meh.

Peanut Chocolate Cream Pie (Danny's Restaurant) - One of these days, I need to try this in-house. A wonderful dessert.

Crab Rangoon (Papaya Restaurant) - Not really an official Chinese dish, but still good, helped by the sweet and sour dipping sauce.

Lobster Crab Dip (Jack Astor's Bar and Grill) - If I had to choose a superior crab dip, this would be it.

Fried Chicken Dumplings (Taste of Siam) - Least in show for me. Edible but bland, not quite redeemed by its ginger soy sauce.

Voodoo Chicken (Bar Louie) - God, these people love their spices. Chicken chunks, salami and peppers atop a bed of rice.

Brownie (Zebb's Deluxe Bar and Grill) - It's a brownie and they're always tasty. It's why I get two every year.

Okay. Definitely looking forward to doing this again next year.

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Wednesday, July 08, 2015

Well, apparently, the Screenwriting Tips website is dead, and on the eve of San Diego Comic-Con (and as I am still working on that one script), I feel it's important to remember a good piece of advice from that site:

Imagine yourself on a Comic-Con panel one day, talking about your film. It's good motivation to finish your genre script!

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