Ah, to have 'Oscar-winner' in front of your name...

Less than a week to go, so I may as well get to work. Last year, I went 7 out of 23. I'm sure I can do better this year.

Picture: Again with the ten nominees. That's the way it is, I suppose.
What would I have added to the category: Mickey 17 and Weapons.
My pick: Sinners, if only to convince Warner Bros. that stories made by, for and about people of color have worth, something their (possibly, but hopefully not) imminent bosses will not embrace even with loaded guns pointed at them.

Actor: No matter how right or wrong Chalamet's comments may have been, they do not erase the performance of his career. Period. There is a strong chance at a sympathy vote for Jordan. Di Caprio was good, but...he already has an Oscar. Didn't see The Secret Agent or Blue Moon.
Who would I have added to the category: Brendan Fraser (Rental Family), Paul Walter Hauser (The Luckiest Man in America), Robert Pattinson (Mickey 17) and Channing Tatum (Roofman)
My pick: Michael B. Jordan (but only if people are as sick of Chalamet as Twitter claims they are)

Actress: Didn't see a single one of these movies, so I have no dog in this fight...but unlike opera and ballet, I do care about cats. Eat shit, Jessie Buckley*.
Who would I have added to the category: Kirsten Dunst (Roofman), Chase Infiniti (One Battle After Another) and Sophie Thatcher (Companion. Yes, she was that damn good.)
My pick: Rose Byrne

Supporting Actor: Perhaps, the most difficult category of the night. Haven't seen Skarsgard's work and Penn was fine, but his wasn't even the best performance nominated for this movie in this category. That leaves three. Dangit. Couldn't we get a tie for this?
Who would I have added to the category: Mark Ruffalo in Mickey 17. I am dead fucking serious. Also, Jeffrey Wright for Highest 2 Lowest and Michael Cera (for The Phoenician Scheme, to be specific).
My pick: Delroy Lindo.

Supporting Actress: I don't know. Maybe, I should see Sentimental Value one of these days. It must be something if it got two nominations in this category.
Who would I have added to the category: Gwyneth Paltrow (Marty Supreme; for real, I am gobsmacked she was left out), Regina Hall (One Battle After Another; likewise) and Glenn Close (Wake Up, Dead Man).
My pick: Wunmi Mosaku.

Director: Another solid lineup.
Who would I have added to the category: Honestly, I can't think of anyone.
My pick: Ryan Coogler.

Original Screenplay: It Was Just an Accident sounds rather depressing and Blue Moon sounds like a filmed play topped off with cutesy cameos. Seriously, what went wrong here?
What would I have added to the category: Rental Family and Weapons. There. Much nicer.
My pick: Sinners (Much as I enjoyed Marty Supreme, it's about an unlikable schlemiel stepping on everyone in his path. I don't know if voters in this category would respond to this.)

Adapted Screenplay: Generally, a pretty expected lineup. Still, being nominated should be prize enough. Adapting someone else's material cannot be easy.
What would I have added to the category: Almost enough to fill five more slots. Highest 2 Lowest. Mickey 17. Roofman. The Roses. 
My pick: One Battle After Another

Cinematography: Nothing here to object to, I think.
What would I have added to the category: I think Weapons was well-shot.
My pick: Marty Supreme

Editing: Not really anything to say here, which is unfortunate given that I hope to edit the movies I make. What can I say?
What would I have added to the category: Highest 2 Lowest. Also, Roofman. God's sakes, it deserved something.
My pick: Sinners

Production Design: Nothing to argue here. Good list, if somewhat predictable.
What would I have added to the category: Mickey 17 and The Running Man. And Fantastic Four. That nomination should've been a slam dunk.
My pick: Frankenstein

Costume Design: Pretty solid grouping of nominees, though I still think the Avatar nod is some bullshit.
What would I have added to the category: I don't know. Maybe, The Housemaid? Oh, wait. The Phoenician Scheme. Shit, everyone forgot that movie.
My pick: Sinners

Original Score: Of course, I'm gonna have an opinion on this. Very middlebrow a lineup. That's the problem with this category and film scoring as a medium today: Nobody wants to even attempt coloring outside the lines for fear of getting into trouble. If no one experimented in film music, Goldsmith's Planet of the Apes would be merely decent instead of memorable and awesome (and, hey, it was an Oscar nominee!)
What would I have added to the category: Nicholas Britell's Jay Kelly (because the music was that damn good) and Brian Tyler's Nuremberg (because he's long overdue major award recognition). Outside the official shortlist, there's Michael Giacchino's The Fantastic Four: First Steps, Howard Drossin's Highest 2 Lowest (seriously, you haters can all blow me) and Alan Silvestri's Play Dirty. A brand new category unto itself.
My pick: Frankenstein

Original Song: Just another group of songs. Unlike years past, though, I'm struggling to think of a tune that was unfairly cheated here.
What would I have added to the category: See previous statement.
My pick: "Golden", I guess.

Animated Feature: As of last weekend, I saw all five nominees. I genuinely can't remember the last time that's happened before watching the ceremony. The lineup is pretty strong, but...
What would I have added to the category: The Dreamworks features Dog Man and The Bad Guys 2 to sit in for the somewhat pretentious foreign entries. And how did The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie and Predator: Killer of Killers escape any notice?!
My pick: KPOP Demon Hunters. The hype is real, y'all.

Visual Effects: What I wouldn't give for a nominee in this category that didn't rely primarily on CGI. I know it could never happen at this point, but there's no law against dreaming...yet.
What would I have added to the category: What wouldn't I have added? Captain America: Brave New World, The Fantastic Four: First Steps, Final Destination: Bloodlines, How to Train Your Dragon, M3GAN 2.0, Mickey 17, A Minecraft Movie, Paddington in Peru (I had to look it up. None of these movies have ever been nominated in this category. Open the schools!), Predator: Badlands, Superman, Thunderbolts* and Until Dawn. Oh, and Snow White, just to troll people.
My pick: Jurassic World: Rebirth, if only to throw off any haters (you know who you are) upset at a potential Sinners streak.

Make-Up and Hairstyling: Pretty solid lineup here, even if I've never heard of one of these movies and couldn't sit through another even if you paid me. I'll leave you to figure out what's what.
What would I have added to the category: Weapons. For real, how do you beef that? Oh, and The Toxic Avenger. Yes, really.
My pick: It's got to be Frankenstein, full stop.

Casting: The first year for this category. Sucks that it had to be introduced the year after Saturday Night. For real, that was spot-on.
What would I have added to the category: Companion, How to Train Your Dragon, The Life of Chuck, The Luckiest Man in America, Mickey 17, Roofman and Weapons. 
My pick: Sinners

Animated Short Subject: "Retirement Plan". It just sounds nice.

Live-Action Short Subject: Didn't really watch any of these, so I looked up the plot summaries online. "The Singers" sounds sweet enough, if lightweight, but among the others, the least malign of them - "A Friend of Dorothy" - would be my choice.

Documentary Short Subject: "Perfectly a Strangeness" and no, I will not elaborate.

Documentary Feature: No John Candy: I Like Me. This show is a farce. It seems the trend is current events, but I would think that they'd award something a bit uplifting. Come See Me in the Good Light.

International Feature: Sirat sounds the most interesting (and least depressing) of the bunch.

Sound: F1, if only because it's the least insulting category for the film to be nominated in.

And that's my personal ballot. Hell, I'm not gonna have a job in a few weeks. Make me an Academy member! Watch movies? Fuck yeah! That's a living!

* - This comment was made in jest. I'm sure she's a lovely person, overall.

Oh, yeah, the Oscars.

Hey. Better late than never.

- With the newly added Best Casting category, Sinners is the most nominated (16) movie of all time. It’s very rare that my favorite movie of the year is so honored, so there’s extra reason to celebrate.

- Damn shame that both of DreamWorks' animated features were shut out. Either The Bad Guys 2 or Dog Man would've been a worthy nomination. Arco was fine, but a little too derivative of E.T. and Hayao Miyazaki's oeuvre to really hit the mark.

- After so many potential nominees for horror movies get passed over, Amy Madigan scores one for Supporting Actress for Weapons. I suppose it was asking a little too much to have the film be nominated in categories beyond that, but, hey, it is what it is. Credit where credit is due: it was a terrific performance.

- Though not the lineup I'd have chosen, this year's Original Score category is perfectly cromulent; no Babylons or Social Networks to offend the ear.

- Speaking of music, apparently that is the same Nicholas Pike nominated for Best Original Song that works with Mick Garris. Who knew?

- A whole lot of first-time nominees for acting: Jessie Buckley, Rose Byrne, Jacob Elordi, Elle Fanning, Michael B. Jordan, Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas, Delroy Lindo, Wagner Moura, Wunmi Mosaku, Renate Reinsve, Stellan Skarsgard and Teyana Taylor.

- Some unfortunate snubs to speak of: Highest 2 Lowest, Mickey 17 (yes, I'm serious), The Phoenician Scheme and Rental Family.

- Okay, did Avatar: the Thingy of Whatsis honestly get a nod for Costume Design? A lot of those outfits were created in a computer and this is really in contest with designers and their teams who made outfits by hand? Paul Zastupnevich wept.

- March 15th. Beware the Ides of March.

The Original Score Oscar - my ballot.

Just a way to keep things fresh, this was inspired by the most recent Film Score Friday post where Scott Bettencourt listed his choices for the Original Score Oscar throughout his lifetime.

This may be kind of a cheat because - unlike him, I'm sure - I haven't listened to every single nominee for Original Score...and I'm not sure I want to, but I don't have the patience to wait months (maybe years) to catch up with all of them, so here we go.

Close runner-up in parentheses, while the actual winner is in italics; hey, the Academy gets it right, sometimes!

1981: Raiders of the Lost Ark
1982: E.T. - the Extra-Terrestrial (Poltergeist)
1983: Under Fire
1984: A Passage to India (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom)
1985: Out of Africa
1986: Hoosiers (The Mission)
1987: The Witches of Eastwick (The Untouchables)
1988: The Accidental Tourist (Dangerous Liaisons)
1989: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
1990: Home Alone
1991: The Fisher King (JFK)
1992: Chaplin (Basic Instinct)
1993: Schindler's List
1994: The Shawshank Redemption
1995: Sabrina
1996: The First Wives Club
1997: Anastasia
1998: Mulan (Pleasantville)
1999: The Talented Mr. Ripley
2000: Chocolat
2001: Monsters, Inc.
2002: Catch Me If You Can
2003: Finding Nemo
2004: Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events
2005: Munich
2006: The Good German
2007: Ratatouille
2008: WALL-E
2009: Sherlock Holmes (Up)
2010: How to Train Your Dragon
2011: The Adventures of Tintin (Hugo)
2012: Skyfall
2013: Saving Mr. Banks
2014: The Grand Budapest Hotel
2015: The Hateful Eight
2016: Jackie
2017: The Shape of Water
2018: Black Panther (BlacKkKlansman)
2019: Little Women
2020: Da 5 Bloods (Mank)
2021: Don't Look Up
2022: The Banshees of Inisherin
2023: American Fiction
2024: The Wild Robot

Oscars: Better late than never.

Usually, there's an Oscar reaction post at the blog sometime in late January, but I've been distracted by...stuff. The ceremony is less than a week away, so I'm gonna try something new.

Picture: Ten nominees. Ten. I remember when they had five. Eh. I’ve only seen one of them and, really, I couldn’t see myself checking out the others, especially given the controversy wafting off of one of them. You all know which one.
What would I have put in the category: Saturday Night. Seriously, how did the buzz on this slip away? See also: The Bikeriders.
My pick: The Substance and don’t tell me it couldn’t happen. Four words: The Shape of Water.

Actor: I’m not sure who to pick, not because I felt that all five performances were that mindblowing, but because I didn’t see any of the movies (and I’ll be goddamned if I dignify that psychopath destroying this country, in any way). I got to pick somebody, I suppose.
Who would I have put in the category: Glen Powell for Hit Man and…Josh Hartnett for Trap. Bold or controversial? You make the call.
My pick: Ralph Fiennes. He is long overdue.

Actress: Unlike the other acting categories, I actually got to witness one of the nominees making magic…and, also, this category has been a ride. Two nominees dividing the awards attention and another’s offensive tweets resurfacing. That’s the 21st century, for you.
Who would I have put in the category: Just June Squibb (for Thelma) and Jodie Comer (for The Bikeriders). The summer is not kind to Oscar bait.
My pick: That one nominee I saw? Demi Moore.

Supporting Actor: Didn’t experience any of these nominees, which is a bummer, but I have liked them in other things…well, most of them; I have never heard of the guy from Anora.
Who would I have put in the category: Hell, I could craft a brand new lineup with my choices. Willem Dafoe (Nosferatu). Hugh Grant (Heretic, presuming A24 wouldn’t run him for Leading). Tom Hardy (The Bikeriders). Richard Roundtree (Thelma). Denzel Washington (Gladiator II).
My pick: Eenie, meanie, miney…Kieran Culkin.

Supporting Actress: Okay, another example of how I should watch more of these movies. None of them appealed to me, so I’m going by name. A name that has been a reliable player for many decades. A name that, remarkably, had never been Oscar-nominated before. A name whose name is the result of a legendary actress and a renowned director. She played a nun. I don’t know how I can make it clearer.
Who would I have put in the category: Margaret Qualley, obviously, but also Joan Chen for Didi. Her mother character pretending that she cares for her shitbird son instead of choking him until he turned green is some of the best acting anyone has done in the last decade. It really hammers home how misused Chen was in Hollywood schlock like On Deadly Ground and Judge Dredd (though the “Bitch!”/“Judge Bitch.” exchange from the latter still makes me giggle).
My pick: Isabella Rossellini

Director: Another category, another one-out-of-five choice. Ah, to hell with it. As with the Presidential election, I’m voting for the woman.
Who would I have put in the category: The guy who did Hundreds of Beavers. Yes, really.
My pick: The Substance

Original Screenplay: Okay, ignoring my pick, I’d be interested in seeing the award go to A Real Pain. Just because.
What would I have put in the category: Juror #2. If an Oscar went to a movie like this, studios would be falling over themselves to make nine or ten movies like it a year and I call that a win for everybody.
My pick: The Substance 

Adapted Screenplay: Okay. Can’t pick The Substance this time. Also, I haven’t seen any of the contenders. Well, I’m stuck.
What would I have put in the category: Really, just Saturday Night and Hit Man…and maybe Nightbitch.
My pick: Conclave

Cinematography: I barely paid attention to the camera work in the one nominated movie I saw. Not sure how I could judge fairly.
What would I have put in the category: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.
My pick: Dune Part Two.

Editing: …yeah, I have absolutely no dog in this fight.
What would I have put in the category: The Substance?
My pick: Conclave, I guess.

Production Design: I’ve only seen one of the nominees…and, remarkably, it’s not the one I would’ve chosen for to receive the award.
What would I have put in the category: Gladiator II, Heretic, Red One. A lot of a room for improvement, I have to say.
My pick: Wicked

Costume Design: A pretty solid set of nominees here. That’s all I have to say.
What would I have put in the category: They could’ve included The Bikeriders for something (relatively) contemporary.
My pick: Wicked, because duh!

Original Score: Not gonna waste my energy or bandwidth on the unmemorable wastes in this category, so I’ll just talk about the two scores that, more or less, deserve to be here. Wicked didn’t linger in the memory as much as I’d have liked, a symptom of being bound so tightly to Sondheim’s melodies that an identity of its own never really develops. Even so, a John Powell Oscar nomination is a John Powell Oscar nomination. Kris Bowers’s score for The Wild Robot made for an eclectic accompaniment to the well-made but curiously overpraised animated movie.
What would I have put in the category: The question here is 'what wouldn't I have put in the category?' Young Woman and the Sea and Inside Out 2 made the category's shortlist and beyond that? Here, The Lord of the Rings: the War of the Rohirrim, That Christmas, Fly Me to the Moon, Saturday Night. (Side rant: You’d think, at the very least, that this film would squeak into this category for some kind of representation, but it was completely shut out. Granted, the only true things about the film were the names of the people involved and the date on which it took place but, really, much phonier biopics have cleaned up at the Oscars.) Seriously, do the people choosing the nominees for this category even like music?!
My pick: The Wild Robot

Original Song: As with a number of the major categories, I have experienced a grand total of none of these nominees, so anything I say won’t have any effect on anything ever.
What would I have put in the category: Not a single movie song in the past year struck me as memorable as the song parodies from Ricky Stanicky. For real, I would buy an album of those tunes. (And I’m still sore about last year. None of the songs from Wonka were nominated, much less shortlisted. How do you justify that?!)
My pick: “Never Too Late”. Why? It’s Elton John, mate.

Animated Feature: All the expected movies received nominations. The least known of this year's nominees, Memoir of a Snail, received only one screening in the last few weeks (though who knows; maybe, it will expand like Robot Dreams - the least known of last year's nominees - did...and I'll probably end up considering this the worthiest of an Oscar win). My favorite animated movie of the year was Inside Out 2, though the popular opinion is leaning toward The Wild Robot. If it had focused more on the robot and less on the animals, it would be the most deserving. Flow truly blew me away with its animation and lack of dialogue. It would be just as worthy as IO2.
What would I have put in the category: Nothing. Much as I liked Kung Fu Panda 4, it was never gonna happen.
My pick: Flow.

Visual Effects: Haven't seen Wicked or Dune and I don't care how accomplished the effects are in Better Man. Somebody - anybody - needs to send a message to Hollywood: if this (and the Legos of Piece by Piece) are the best you can do in spicing up music biopics, stop making music biopics! Alien: Romulus was decent, even with the in-my-opinion-not-as-bad-as-people-whine-about deepfake of Ian Holm's Ash. Even now, it struck me as organic to the story. Weyland-Yutani would seriously not have copies of their androids? The motion capture effects of Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes were the most impressive, perfectly on brand with the reboot franchise.
What would I have put in the category: Twisters had some impressive effects depicting its hurricanes.
My pick: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

Make-Up and Hairstyling: Much like a multiple-choice question, you can automatically delete two answers to improve chances of getting credit, so adios, Wicked and Emilia Perez. The makeup for Nosferatu was incredible, turning Bill Skarsgard into the bloodsucker and, as I understand it, A Different Man changed Sebastian Stan to look like he had the disorder that his co-star, Adam Pearson, suffers from in real life. Still, the 800-pound gorilla in this category is The Substance. Love the ending or hate it (*coughpussiescough*), the makeup for Monstro Elisasue was incredible. If the film has a chance of winning any category, it is surely this.
What would I have put in the category: It's fine the way it is.
My pick: The Substance

I know less than nothing about these next few categories, so no 'what would I have put in the category?' here. Just simple, 'names from a hat' bullcrap.

Animated Short Subject: By definition, these have to be the least depressing nominees of these next few categories. Reading up on them - because the days of me actually wanting to see these in a theater like I did in my 30s are slipping away fast - I’m gonna go with Magic Candies.

Live-Action Short Subject: The best thing I can say about the nominees of this year‘s category is that none of them are indulging in heavy-handed racial issues and depressing tones, practically begging for Oscars (though it seems like some of the shorts tiptoe up to that line, judging by their plot summaries on Letterboxd). I vote optimism in this category. I’m Not a Robot.

Documentary Short Subject: Two stories of brutality and forgiveness, two stories of women in music and something that looks at the horror that a number of people face in the streets every day. I really see this going to Incident.

Documentary Feature: No Jim Henson Idea Man. No Music by John Williams. No fucking way. Still, any one of the actual nominees winning would be enough to piss off the current administration, so okay, let’s play ball. Porcelain War.

International Feature: A mild dilemma: do I my embrace my cynical side and pick Flow, believing that the Academy is still slobbering the knob of The Wild Robot and they’re gonna wanna give the loser something or do I listen to my heart? Hell with it. I’m going with heart. The Girl with the Needle.

Sound: I don’t know. Let’s focus on the movie centered around music. Ah-ah-ah-ah, the non-controversial movie centered around music. Ah-ah-ah-ah, the non-controversial, but-still-likely-to-be-shut-out-of-its-other-categories movie centered around music. A Complete Unknown.

Sunday March 2nd. Who will be Carrie before the prom and who will be Carrie after? I guess we'll find out then.

So, what do you think is gonna win?

Well, here we are again. On the cusp of another Oscar ceremony. Of course, I'll be watching. And my picks to win (No bitching about what I think should've been nominated, I promise.):

Picture: Oppenheimer. Why not?

Actor: Pretty solid lineup, but I'm picking...Paul Giamatti. Marvelous work and he is long overdue.

Actress: Lily Gladstone. Just wonderful.

Supporting Actor: Robert Downey, Jr., as he was quite good and, given that I saw Chaplin for the first time last week, let's call this a make-up Oscar for the time they gave it to Hoo-ah!

Supporting Actress: Da'Vine Joy Randolph. Turns out her name is pronounced 'DAY-vine'. Go figure.

Director: Christopher Nolan.

Original Screenplay: The Holdovers.

Adapted Screenplay: American Fiction, because - in spite of strongly disagreeing with the ending - I feel it ought to get something.

Cinematography: Oppenheimer.

Editing: Oppenheimer.

Production Design: Barbie. They ran out of pink paint. Don't let that sacrifice be in vain.

Original Score: No truly objectionable nominees here. A welcome change. Oppenheimer. One of the better scores from a Nolan movie.

Original Song: What it really comes down to is which Barbie song will win. "I'm Just Ken" is a nice power ballad, but expect the sentimental vote to go to "What Was I Made For?".

Costume Design: Barbie. It makes sense, don't it?

Sound: Oppenheimer. I'd like to think that Nolan knew that audiences were getting a little logy and the explosion would be just the thing to wake them up and keep them up.

Animated Feature: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. My reasons are my own...and because it was awesome.

Animated Short: Now, for these next few categories, I'm just gonna pick the one I like the best from its Wikipedia page. Of these, I pick "War is Over!".

Live-Action Short: Though "Invincible" sounds interesting, I'm gonna say "Red, White and Blue". It seems like it delivers its message a lot cleaner than, say, "The After". A win for that would be perfectly on brand for some of the last few years of winners in the category; shorts that wallow in misery while purporting to deliver a message. I have no patience for that.

Documentary Short: I'd have said "The Barber of Little Rock" in a walk, but "Nai Nai and Wai Po" sounds ridiculously adorable.

Documentary Feature: "20 Days in Mariupol" sounds properly harrowing and timelier than ever given you-know-who's plans for Ukraine.

Foreign Language Film: Io capitano.

Visual Effects: Haven't seen the movie, but the fact that (apparently) such spectacular effects could be created on a relatively low budget should be rewarded. Godzilla Minus One.

Make-Up and Hairstyling: Poor Things. 

Also, they moved the show up to 7. Can they do that? Especially without telling me?

How do you nominate Barbie without nominating Barbie?!

I had considered using a line from the title song of the movie Gold, but I had to say something.

- As of a few days ago, I saw five of the ten Best Picture nominees. My best ratio in years.

- Seriously, Margot Robbie gave a marvelous performance, the kind that (you would think) would guarantee an Oscar nomination. Weirdly, director Greta Gerwig was also snubbed. Someone tweeted this yesterday and they nailed it: "No nomination for (actress) Margot Robbie. No nomination for [director] Greta Gerwig. Ryan Gosling* gets an Oscar nomination. This is actually the whole plot of Barbie." Just imagine Sophie's Choice if it was nominated in every category but Best Actress.
* - Gosling was terrific, but the point remains.

- Other snubs: Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret., Supporting Actors Dominic Sessa (a stunning debut in The Holdovers), Glenn Howerton (the highlight of BlackBerry) and Charles Melton (didn't see May December, but as a "Riverdale" fan, the buzz had me jazzed), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (more deserving of a nod than Nimona) and Dumb Money.

- It's nice that the scores for the four best Indiana Jones movies have been Oscar-nominated.

- I didn't love American Fiction as much as I wanted to, but I'm still pleased it landed five nominations.

- First-time nominees: Emily Blunt, Danielle Brooks, Sterling K. Brown, Colman Domingo, America Ferrera, Lily Gladstone, Sandra Huller, Cillian Murphy, Da'Vine Joy Randolph and Jeffrey Wright.

- I don't really have much more to say. My Barbie complaint took the wind out of me. March 10th. Be there or be square.

My Oscar ballot.

May as well get used to filling these out. I am going to get a script sold…just as soon as I start writing it. Anyway…

PICTURE

Asteroid City
The Holdovers
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

ACTOR

Dave Bautista, Knock at the Cabin
Paul Giamatti, The Holdovers
Cillian Murphy, Oppenheimer
Jason Schwartzman, Asteroid City
Jeffrey Wright, American Fiction

ACTRESS

Abby Ryder Fortson, Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret.
Lily Gladstone, Killers of the Flower Moon
Scarlet Johansson, Asteroid City
Jennifer Lawrence, No Hard Feelings
Margot Robbie, Barbie

SUPPORTING ACTOR

Sterling K. Brown, American Fiction
Robert Downey, Jr., Oppenheimer
Ryan Gosling, Barbie
Glenn Howerton, Blackberry
Dominic Sessa, The Holdovers

SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Kathy Bates, Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret.
Emily Blunt, Oppenheimer
America Ferrera, Barbie
Rachel McAdams, Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret.
Da'Vine Joy Randolph, The Holdovers

DIRECTOR

Wes Anderson, Asteroid City
Greta Gerwig, Barbie
Christopher Nolan, Oppenheimer
Alexander Payne, The Holdovers
Martin Scorsese, Killers of the Flower Moon

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Air
The Boy and the Heron
Elemental
The Holdovers
Sisu

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret.
Barbie
Dumb Money
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer

CINEMATOGRAPHY

The Holdovers
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer
Sisu
Wonka

PRODUCTION DESIGN

Asteroid City
Barbie
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer
Wonka

EDITING

Asteroid City
The Holdovers
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer
Sisu

COSTUME DESIGN

Barbie
Chevalier
Napoleon
They Cloned Tyrone
Wonka

ORIGINAL SCORE

American Fiction, Laura Karpman
Elemental, Thomas Newman
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, John Williams
Oppenheimer, Ludwig Goransson
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Daniel Pemberton

ORIGINAL SONG

"I'm Just Ken", Barbie
"Peaches", The Super Mario Bros. Movie
"Scrub Scrub", Wonka
"Sweet Tooth", Wonka
"What Was I Made For?", Barbie

SOUND
 
Killers of the Flower Moon
Napoleon
Oppenheimer

MAKEUP

Guardians of the Galaxy - Vol. 3
The Last Voyage of the Demeter
Wonka

VISUAL EFFECTS

Blue Beetle
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
Guardians of the Galaxy - Vol. 3
Haunted Mansion
Oppenheimer

ANIMATED FEATURE

The Boy and the Heron
Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget
Elemental
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

You can pick the Oscars and you can pick your nose...

...but you can't pick Oscar's nose. With that in mind:

Picture: I've only seen two of them...and the other one should not have been a feature, so I choose Everything Everywhere All at Once.

Actor: As a hearty 'fuck you' to the people that undermined him, Brendan Fraser all the way. I'm not seeing that movie, though.

Actress: Michelle Yeoh. That's my pick and the reason for doing so.

Supporting Actor: There's no time for love, but it is time for an Oscar. Ke Huy Quan.

Supporting Actress: Angela Bassett. Like I said, it was the 'Have I not sacrificed everything?' scene that did it.

Director(s): This should give you a clue for my nod...it's The Daniels. 

Original Screenplay: Everything Everywhere All at Once...but as long as it doesn't go to The Banshees of Inisherin, I'll be happy.

Adapted Screenplay: Glass Onion delivered on its mystery angle and its social commentary angle. So there.

Cinematography: Haven't seen any of these movies, so I'm going by name. Mandy Walker's done fine work on Mulan and Jane Got a Gun. I trust her.

Editing: Everything Everywhere All at Once. Keeping track of all those universes can't have been easy. That deserves a reward, I think.

Production Design: If there's one thing you can count on from a Baz Luhrmann movie, it's splashy art direction. Elvis has entered the building.

Original Score: Having heard all of the nominees, I remain firm in my desire to see Babylon lose this category. Even though it’s his fourth-best score for a Martin McDonagh movie, I'm pulling for Carter Burwell's The Banshees of Inisherin.

Original Song: Probably "Naatu Naatu" from RRR. Just because.

Costume Design: Going with Ruth Carter's work on Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.

Sound: Top Gun: Maverick. 

Animated Feature: This is one time where 'just give it to the Disney one' would suit me just fine. Turning Red.

Animated Short: "The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse" sounds promising.

Live-Action Short: "Ivalu". Interesting title.

Documentary Feature: Fire of Love. Documentaries aren't my thing, so I played Ring Spot (yes, from Duck Soup) with the nominees. Oh, like you wouldn't!

Documentary Short: "How Do You Measure a Year?" Same principle as above.

Foreign Language Film: All Quiet on the Western Front, because they'll want to give it something.

Visual Effects: Avatar has this locked up for as long as James Cameron is interested in making these things.

Makeup and Hairstyling: Maybe avoid the fat suit projects and give it to Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.

Well, that's the ballot. Hope I'm not too disappointed.

Fool’s gold.

It's Oscar nomination time once again, friends.

Good news: the Academy will be airing all 23 categories at this year’s Oscars!

Bad news: ...just read on.

- The Banshees of Inisherin received nominations for all four lead actors and Original Score...but also Director, Picture and, most depressingly, Original Screenplay. This was - in no way, shape or form - a story that required a motion picture to tell, much less a two-hour motion picture. All I can do is pray for a clean sweep from Everything Everywhere All at Once. Let’s be honest: that was an original screenplay.

- The Menu was shut out completely, most likely because Searchlight threw their entire lot in with Fingerbang Over the Rainbow. You’d truly think that Original Screenplay and Supporting Actor (Ralph Fiennes) would've been a lock.

- Though not a perfect film, The Woman King was a decent success with a fair amount of awards buzz. Maybe acting nods were too much to ask, despite typically strong work from Viola Davis, but maybe some technical nods, like Costume Design and Original Score.

- “So, shall we nominate Hoyte von Hoytema for Cinematography, Michael Abels for Original Score and Keke Palmer for Supporting Actress?” “Nope!”

- No Art Direction nod for Glass Onion?! Those sets were amazing. Avatar: the Way of Water’s sets were created in a computer and they were nominated. Double standard, much?

- Three of the five nominees for Makeup and Hairstyling succeeded in making their actors look fatter than they normally do. And here I thought that fat suits were outlawed. That’s one on me.

- I’ve only seen two of the ten Best Picture nominees and maybe, that’s enough.

- The nominees for Original Score are...some Kentucky Fried Horseshit made with 11 herbs and spices of this sucks dicks. Everything Everywhere All at Once, The Banshees of Inisherin, The Fabelmans, All Quiet on the Western Front (me, neither) and the most-likely winner, Babylon. Not one slot for Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio. It is easily the best score of the year and far superior to not only this year's quote-unquote category, but even the last few scores that actually won the prize.

- Okay. I think I’m all raged out. Let’s move on to Best Animated Feature. While Wendell & Wild and The Bad Guys were ignored, at least Turning Red and Puss in Boots: the Last Wish made it in. However, the prize will likely go to Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio. On a narrative basis, it'd be a travesty, but on a craft level, it'd be a deserving win.

- Had no interest in Elvis, but hooray for the first of many nominations for cinematographer Mandy Walker (Mulan, Jane Got a Gun).

- Speaking of firsts, this may set a record for most first acting nominations: Austin Butler, Hong Chau, Kerry Condon, Jamie Lee Curtis, Ana de Armas, Colin Farrell, Brendan Fraser, Brendan Gleeson, Brian Tyree Henry, Stephanie Hsu, Barry Keoghan, Paul Mescal, Bill Nighy, Ke Huy Quan, Andrea Riseborough and Michelle Yeoh.

- Black Panther: Wakanda Forever landed nods for Original Song (eh), Costume Design (nice), Visual Effects (cool), Makeup and Hairstyling (neat) and Supporting Actress (awesome). It was the 'Have I not suffered enough?!' speech that did it.

- Really hoping that Tom Hanks or Eddie Murphy (or both!) are asked to host. It’s about damn time.

March 12th. Be there or be square.

Something's missing from the blog, yeah? No Oscar predictions. No Oscar live-posting. No nothing. ABC wants to shunt a fraction of the categories off-air? They can fuck themselves forever.

Another network will get the ceremony in six years and who the shit knows if any of us will still be alive in that time?

For real, screwing with the Oscars, plotting to overthrow democracy, threatening innocent health officials. Does no one believe in consequences, anymore?

There is more to life than gold.

Having seen a mere 10 of the 32 released movies nominated (and 2 of the 8 Best Picture nominees), don't be surprised if things are more than a little...guessy for most of these categories.

Picture: Ma Rainey's Black Bottom.

Actor: Good as Gary Oldman was in Mank, Chadwick Boseman - unfortunately - won't have a chance to be nominated ever again. Let's just call this a make-up Oscar for Get on Up.

Actress: I really think that Carey Mulligan was terrific in Promising Young Woman, balancing the story's moods effectively.

Supporting Actor: The buzz around Daniel Kaluuya has been deafening. Who am I to contradict it?

Supporting Actress: I was really impressed with Amanda Seyfried in Mank, though I have a feeling about Yuh-Jung Joun.

Director: Chloe Zhao.

Original Screenplay: Promising Young Woman.

Adapted Screenplay: Nomadland.

Cinematography: News of the World.

Editing: Nomadland.

Production Design: Tenet.

Costume Design: I'm going with Ma Rainey's Black Bottom.

Original Score: Da 5 Bloods. Not only the strongest score of a middling field (Mank would've, for sure, made my top 10 list had it been more judiciously spotted), but easily the best thing about the messy - yet weirdly otherwise snubbed - film.

Original Song: "Speak Now", I guess.

Animated Feature: Wolfwalkers, easily. If a) Monkeybone were as well known a dud as, say, Battlefield: Earth and b) people could let themselves see the resemblance between the films, Soul wouldn't be anywhere near front-runner status. Wolfwalkers is more imaginatively animated, better-scored, more emotionally resonant. I cannot imagine why this is a contest.

Animated Short: "Burrow", if only for the Pixar imprimatur.

Live-Action Short: From the descriptions of the nominated shorts, I would give it to "Feeling Through". (I have a bad feeling that it'll end up going to "Two Distant Strangers". Never seen it, never will, but don't trust the positive reviews.)

Documentary Short: I've heard interesting things about "Colette".

Visual Effects: Tenet. Period.

Make-Up and Hairstyling: I want to say Pinocchio.

Sound: Sound of Metal, just because. Also, good on them for condensing the two categories into one.

International Feature: Another Round.

Documentary Feature: "Collective".

Well, the Oscar shortlists are out. If you really want to see them, just look for them. I've seen them and, for a number of reasons, I'm not that impressed.

Here are what my ballots would look like for the various categories:

Best Original Score

Terence Blanchard, Da 5 Bloods

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, Mank

Alexandre Desplat, The Midnight Sky

Daniel Pemberton, The Trial of the Chicago 7

Bruno Coulais, Wolfwalkers*

Best Visual Effects

Birds of Prey

The Invisible Man*

Mulan

Tenet

Wonder Woman 1984*

Best Make-Up and Hairstyling

Bill and Ted Face the Music*

Birds of Prey

Mank

The nominees with asterisks were, inexplicably, not shortlisted. Seriously, how the fuck do you not nominate The Invisible Man for Visual Effects? Or Bill and Ted Face the Music for Make-Up? I just don't get this.

Oh, the shortlist for Original Song was also released, but I could give less of a shit about that category. Nothing interests me at all.

8:00 Janelle Monae singing "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood"

8:02 ...and now, it's a full original number with dancers dressed as the year's movie characters...and Billy Porter cosplaying Elton John.

8:06 Steve Martin and Chris Rock showing us why we need Oscar hosts again. Seriously, can they host next year?

8:11 Regina King presents Best Supporting Actor. The Oscar goes to...Brad Pitt (1/24).

8:21 Beanie Feldstein introduces Mindy Kaling, who's about to present Best Animated Feature. The Oscar goes to Toy Story 4. Seriously, when is it going to be Laika's time?

8:25 Best Animated Short Subject now. The Oscar goes to..."Hair Love" (2/24).

8:27 Josh Gad introduces "Into the Unknown" performed by the voices of Elsa from around the world.

8:36 Kelly Marie Tran introduces Diane Keaton and Keanu Reeves, here to present Original Screenplay. The Oscar goes to...Parasite!

8:42 Timothee Chalamet and Natalie Portman present Adapted Screenplay. The Oscar goes to...Jojo Rabbit (3/24).

8:46 Shia LaBeouf and Zack Gottsagen present Best Live-Action Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."The Neighbor's Window" (4/24).

8:53 Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig presenting Best Production Design. The Oscar goes to...Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (5/24).

8:59 ...and now, Best Costume Design. The Oscar goes to...Little Women (6/24).

9:01 Chrissy Metz performing "Standing with You" from Breakthrough. This may, by a wide margin, be the oddest nomination of the year.

9:08 Mark Ruffalo presents Best Documentary Feature. The Oscar goes to..."American Factory" (7/24).

9:12 ...and now, Best Documentary Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone (if you're a girl)"(8/24). I guess other people liked the title, as well.

9:15 Mahershala Ali presents Best Supporting Actress. The Oscar goes to...Laura Dern (9/24).

9:25 Anthony Ramos (of "Hamilton") introduces the creator of the musicals, Lin-Manuel Miranda.

9:30 Oh, man. Eminem performs "Lose Yourself".

9:36 Oscar Isaac and Salma Hayek present Sound Effects Editing. The Oscar goes to...Ford v. Ferrari (10/24). Sound Mixing goes to...1917.

9:42 Randy Newman performs "I Can't Let You Throw Yourself Away".

9:48 A musical recap of the show. Not sure who this guy is, but he's pretty good.

9:49 Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus present Best Cinematography. The Oscar goes to...Roger Deakins (11/24). Seriously, that's some effort for 1917.

9:54 ...and now, Best Editing. The Oscar goes to...Ford v. Ferrari (12/24).

9:57 Casting director and Academy president David Rubin and Tom Hanks telling of a museum of Hollywood memorabilia.

10:03 Zazie Beetz introduces the orchestra pit, as well as Cynthia Erivo performing "Stand Up".

10:12 James Corden and Rebel Wilson present Best Visual Effects in a weird bit of irony. The Oscar goes to...1917.

10:16 Ray Romano and Sandra Oh present Best Hair and Make-Up. The Oscar goes to...Bombshell. Huh.

10:23 Penelope Cruz narrates a montage about what movies mean to her. What's more, she is presenting Best International Feature. The Oscar goes to...Parasite (13/24).

10:27 Elton John performs "(I'm Gonna) Love Me Again".

10:36 Taika Waititi recaps the Governor's Awards and the honorary Oscars given to Wes Studi, David Lynch, Geena Davis

10:37 Gal Gadot, Sigourney Weaver and Brie Larson introduce a suite of the year's nominated scores led by a female conductor. The Oscar goes to...Joker. Well, at least it was orchestral.

10:44 ...and now, Best Original Song. The Oscar goes to..."(I'm Gonna) Love Me Again" (14/24). Smashing.

10:51 Spike Lee presents Best Director. The Oscar goes to...Bong Joon Ho. Okay, now I really got to try and see Parasite.

10:55 Steven Spielberg introduces the In Memoriam montage.

11:04 Olivia Colman presents Best Actor. The Oscar goes to...Joaquin Phoenix (15/24). Definitely the film's most deserved win.

11:10 Rami Malek presents Best Actress. The Oscar goes to...Renee Zellweger (16/24).

11:22 Jane Fonda presents Best Picture. The Oscar goes to...Parasite?! Damn.

16 out of 24. My best average yet, I think. Well, this has been a bucket of fun. Good night, all.

The gold standard.

No more shenanigans. These are my Oscar picks:

Picture: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. A movie about making movies and the best movie I saw last year. Good deal.

Actor: Even with my misgivings about the film, Joaquin Phoenix earned this prize.

Actress: The buzz for Renee Zellweger was strong even early on and though Erivo's performance was the only thing keeping Harriet afloat, I'm sticking with the buzz.

Supporting Actor: Much as I liked the work of Pesci and Pacino, they are likely to cancel each other out. Ultimately, I'm going with...Brad Pitt.

Supporting Actress: Call it intuition. Call it the Holdo Maneuver, but I'm liking Laura Dern's chances.

Director: Sam Mendes. For real, if someone flubbed a line, they started over from the beginning? Jesus. No way I could have that kind of patience.

Original Screenplay: Much as I liked Knives Out (and an Oscar would put certain people in their place), this is definitely going to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Adapted Screenplay: Jojo Rabbit. I just have a feeling.

Cinematography: Robert Richardson's work on Once... was typically strong, but the work necessary to pull off a one-take movie...say hello to Oscar number 2, Roger Deakins.

Editing: Ford v. Ferrari, because it ought to get freaking something.

Original Score: The buzz is leaning toward Joker, but if it gets Thomas Newman his long-deserved Oscar, 1917 all the way.

Original Song: "I'm Gonna Love Me Again", because Rocketman ought to get freaking something.

Costume Design: Little Women. Period piece + fancy dresses = gold. It's science.

Production Design: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. It can't have been easy creating that look of 1969, but the end result was impressive.

Animated Feature: Granted, the film was lightweight, but Missing Link was a great deal of fun. Plus, Laika is long overdue for a win.

Hair and Make-Up: Judy, Judy, Judy. (The young people probably don't know this joke. Sad, really.)

Sound: Ford v. Ferrari.

Sound Effects Editing: Ford v. Ferrari.

Documentary Feature: I'm never good at these, but let's just say...American Factory.

Documentary Short Subject: "Learning to Skate in a Warzone (if you're a girl)". Hey. I like the title.

Animated Short Subject: "Hair Love". I wonder if it's available to watch anywhere.

Live-Action Short Subject: I've long since lost interest in going to see the short film programs at the theaters (and was there even time to book the program for this year?), but I'll pick..."The Neighbors' Window".

Visual Effects: Avengers: Endgame, because duh.

Foreign Film: Parasite. They'll find a way to screw it out of the major categories. Just you watch.

Even the nominations have hosts.

After a scary time last year when stupidity on the part of the Academy was forcing me not to give a shit about their prom, I'm interested again. Well...

- Five out of nine Best Picture nominees seen. Not too bad.

- Lupita Nyong'o was passed over for her virtuoso work in Us. No doubt, she was amazing, even managing to (almost) put over that bullshit final twist, but let's be honest. She was never getting the nomination. Toni Collette didn't get one for Hereditary and she's as White as sour cream.

- They said it couldn't be done. Adam Sandler giving a performance so good he'd be an Oscar nominee. He crushed it, but the nomination was not to be. In fact, Uncut Gems was completely shut out. Editing, Cinematography, Picture. Well, it didn't happen for Jim Carrey, either, which is also bullshit.

- Maybe, the Academy just dislikes "Saturday Night Live", as Eddie Murphy's terrific work in Dolemite is My Name was also ignored. No Costume Design nod, either and you'd have thought that to be a slam dunk.

- I'm starting to think that Academy members have also stepped barefoot on a few too many Legos. The LEGO Movie 2: the Second Part (which I, personally, considered better than the original) got zilch. You're forced to wonder what needs to happen for one of these movies to get a nod. (Yeah, I know "Everything is Awesome" won for the first movie and while I'm glad that "Catchy Song" was shortlisted, I'd have liked to see some love for "Not Evil".)

- I’d have been happy for Joaquin Phoenix to get a nomination for Joker, but that the film would get 11 nods - more than any other movie - is the biggest joke of all.

- What seemed like sure bets for Oscar only picked up a handful of nods between them. Let’s pour one out for Ford v. Ferrari (Sound and Editing) and Knives Out (Original Screenplay).

- Still, this is more than was received by Booksmart or Hustlers. What a stunning crock of shit.

- She was the best thing about Bad Times at the El Royale and, so, too, was she in Harriet. Cynthia Erivo earned a first nomination for Best Actress. It really seemed like, amongst the Hollywood version of Harriet Tubman's story, she was playing as if the film around her was at her level. Oddly enough, the song she co-wrote from that movie, "Stand Up", was recognized, making her a two-time nominee. And speaking of two-time nominees...

- Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress nominee Scarlett Johansson. Seriously, who saw that coming?

- Beyond the usual 'these scores were good, but not quite the best of the year, in my opinion', I have no complaints about the Best Original Score category. It will likely go to Joker, though I can only wonder how many nominations Shirley Walker would've earned if the current climate existed 20 years ago.

- How about that Jojo Rabbit? I was sure that it would've been forgotten and yet, here it is for Costume Design, Adapted Screenplay, Editing and Picture.

- Congrats to first time nominees Antonio Banderas and Jonathan Pryce. And while Florence Pugh earned the nod for Little Women, in my heart, she was nominated for Fighting with My Family.

- Though not as substantive as previous Laika releases, Missing Link was a good deal of fun and I sincerely hope that its win at the Golden Globes gives the film an edge.

- Seriously, was Alita: Battle Angel released too early in the year? Those effects were (are) award-worthy.

- You know, I can't help but think that the toxic reaction to Bohemian Rhapsody's Oscar glory is what led to (unfair) backlash against Rocketman. Granted, it got an Original Song nomination for its subject (how many movies can say that?), but when you see Taron Egerton acting and singing his heart out in one flashy outfit after another, how do you pass that over? What a gyp.

- Nothing for Cats, not even Visual Effects. Huzzah! The system works.

The ceremony takes place on...February 9th?! Damn, this year is flying by!

Picking Oscar's nose.

Even though the Academy reversed the decision to give out awards during commercial breaks, things are gonna get a little...ranty.

Best Picture - You know how, on a multiple-choice quiz, you can automatically eliminate half of the answers, guaranteeing that you might pick the right one? Let's get to it:

Bohemian Rhapsody - Someone took the script for Walk Hard: the Dewey Cox Story, deleted the jokes and found/replaced 'Dewey Cox' with 'Freddie Mercury'...and it's directed by a sociopathic pedophile.

Green Book - Yet another 'White people solve racism' movie, but with the dual novelties of marginalizing Dr. Shirley (as per his family) and being directed/co-written by the auteur behind Movie 43, Dumb and Dumber To and The Heartbreak Kid remake who used to flash his junk at his lead actresses as a joke.

Roma - Even if the film somehow weren't a super-dull and pretentious bit of nonsense, its writer/director/cinematographer concurrently made a commercial equating autism to a disease...and his own child has autism. Who knows how many autistic people paid for and enjoyed Children of Men or Gravity or A Little Princess? Dude played himself, big time.

Vice - This one hurts because it was fun to watch for a while, but then the film loses the plot, becoming more tract than entertainment. And you gotta love that line in the mid-credits scene where the man behind minor hits Step Brothers and The Other Guys makes fun of the American public for having crappy tastes in movies.

This leaves Black Panther, BlackkKlansman, The Favourite and A Star is Born. While any one of these would be a worthy Best Picture, certainly more than the films listed above, I'm gonna go with The Favourite.

Actor: Despite knowing the least about the movie, I'm picking Willem Dafoe for At Eternity's Gate, mainly as a means of voting against the three films. Rami Malek was outstanding and under other circumstances, he'd be my choice.

Actress: Colman or McCarthy. Both were sensational in their respective movies as damaged women just trying to get through life...but it has been way too long, guys. Glenn Close, all the way.

Supporting Actor - Awesome as it would be for Sam Elliott giving an acceptance speech (for his first nomination!), I was awed by Richard E. Grant's fine work in Can You Ever Forgive Me?...and I am so hoping that his speech consists of the line as he hoists his Oscar, "Money will always be paper, but gold will always be gold.".

Supporting Actress: Who is the favo(u)rite, here? I'm gonna say...Rachel Weisz.

Director - Weird to think that Spike Lee was never nominated in this category before. Really hoping he gets the award.

Original Screenplay - I really liked the screenplay for The Favourite, but on the other hand, Paul Schrader was never nominated before (Not even for Taxi Driver! Can you believe that?!). Hey, as long as it doesn't go to Vice or Green Book, I'm good, but let me pick...The Favourite.

Adapted Screenplay - Much as I liked Can You Ever Forgive Me?, they'll definitely want to give BlackkKlansman something.

Cinematography: Caleb Deschanel received a nomination for Foreign film nominee Never Look Away. A prestige project like this makes a nice rebound from the schlocky likes of Winter's Tale (which, admittedly, looked beautiful) and Unforgettable (less so, judging by the trailer). However, I'm gonna pick Robbie Ryan for The Favourite.

Editing - As a fan of his music, it's easy to want to pick John Ottman for Bohemian Rhapsody. If he wins, it'll likely be part of a sweep for Best Picture and no one wants that. If he loses...he loses and I really hope he a) has been keeping his nose clean and b) is smart enough to cut bait in regards to his longtime collaborator. So...The Favourite.

Production Design - The sets of Black Panther looked amazing, so I would definitely name this.

Original Score - For the first time in a while, it's a category where any of the nominated scores could win and I'd be cool with it, even if I wish that Alexandre Desplat (Operation: Finale for Isle of Dogs) and Nicholas Britell (Vice for If Beale Street Could Talk) had been nominated for different scores. Awesome though it would be for Marc Shaiman to join the EGOT club, I'm really pulling for Ludwig Goransson for Black Panther, easily the best Marvel score yet and the best score I heard last year. (Though Terence Blanchard's BlackkKlansman was also terrific.)

Original Song - If only because of the point I articulated in the previous category, I want the prize to go to "The Place Where Lost Things Go".

Costume Design - From the moment I saw the film, I just knew that Ruth Carter's work on Black Panther would've been nominated, and now, I'm confident that she will win.

Animated Feature: May I just say what bullshit it is that Mirai received a nomination. Think back to Your Name., which featured lush animation, a clever use of time travel and body swap tropes and two engaging protagonists. Sadly, none of this resulted in an Oscar nomination, but yeah, let's give one to the movie with the lackadaisical use of time travel and the most slappable protagonist this side of...I don't know. You think of one. Literally any other animated movie from last year would've deserved the adulation more. (Okay, maybe not Sherlock Gnomes.) Ah, whatever. It's going to Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, anyway.

Animated Short Subject: I'm going with "Bao".

Live-Action Short Subject: I have it on good authority that four out of the five shorts feature child endangerment. Now, I'm not the biggest fan of children, but Jesus, there's definitely some issues going on here, so let me just go with the odd man out, "Marguerite".

Visual Effects - Let's be honest: Avengers: Infinity War is walking away with this.

Sound - Because First Man ought to win something.

Sound Effects Editing - ...because wouldn't it be hilariously ironic for A Quiet Place to dominate this category?

Foreign Film - I want to say that this belongs to Never Look Away, so I will.

Documentary Feature - First of all, total crap that Won't You Be My Neighbor? was snubbed. Second...RBG, I guess.

Documentary Short Subject - I know nothing of these nominees so let's pick a name out of a hat. "End Game".

Make-up and Hairstyling: The make-up work on Vice was very well-done. This is one award I'd be fine with this film receiving.

In some kind of effort to make the show shorter, the Academy has gone beyond not having a host for this year's Oscar ceremony to considering having 5 or 6 awards presented during ad breaks...compounded by changing up which awards get marginalized for each year.

I truly believe that, for most (if not all) lovers of film, this is the most rational and level-headed response to such thinking:

Yeah, I know what you're thinking: 'y u no Oscar reaction post?'. Still trying to finish my best music of the year post and a Letterboxd scavenger hunt and all of this amongst my job's ridiculous hours and possible jury duty.

I'm sure I'll have plenty to say in my Oscar predictions post (no way I'm forgetting that), but...there it is.

Oscar turns 90 years young.

So help me God, I thought they were starting at 8:30.

8:06p Nice beard on Willem Dafoe.

8:09p "None other than President Trump called Get Out 'the best first 3/4 of a movie all year'."

8:13p Hell, I'd probably give a short speech just to win a jet-ski.

8:14p A montage for Best Supporting Actor...

8:15p ...and here's Viola Davis.

8:18p The Oscar goes to...Sam Rockwell (1/24)!

8:24p I think I'd rather have the play-off music.

8:25p Gal Gadot and Armie Hammer (Fun fact: he was to play Superman in George Miller's unmade Justice League movie) present Best Make-Up and Hairstyling. The Oscar goes to...Darkest Hour (2/24)!

8:28p Eva Marie Saint reminisces en route to presenting Best Costume Design.

8:31p The Oscar goes to...Phantom Thread (3/24)! Again, a period piece about costumes being designed! How do you bet against that?!

8:38p Greta Gerwig and Laura Dern present Best Documentary Feature. The Oscar goes to...Icarus.

8:43p Taraji P. Henson presents the first of the night's nominees for Original Song, "Mighty River" from Mudbound, performed by dual Oscar-nominee Mary J. Blige.

8:52p A montage about the magic of movies.

8:56p Ansel Elgort and Eiza Gonzales (from Baby Driver; okay, wouldn't this be a slight conflict of interest?) present the awards for Sound Editing, which goes to...Dunkirk (4/24)...

9:01p ...and Sound Mixing, which goes to...Dunkirk. I swear to Allah, this better not be the beginning of a slide.

9:07p The Governors and Sci-Tech Awards are summarized. Among the recipients are Donald Sutherland and cinematographer Owen Roizman (The Exorcist, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three).

9:08p Kumail Nanjiani and Lupita Nyong'o present Best Production Design. The Oscar goes to...The Shape of Water (5/24)!

9:12p Eugenio Derbez presents the next nominee for Original Song, "Remember Me" from Coco.

9:22p Rita Moreno presents Foreign Language Film. The Oscar goes to...A Fantastic Woman (6/24)!

9:25p A montage of Supporting Actress winners precedes Mahershala Ali presenting this year's award. The Oscar goes to...Allison Janney (7/24)! Real talk: wish she'd mentioned LaVona Harding in her speech.

9:35p Rose Tico, Luke Skywalker, Poe Dameron and BB-8 present the award for Best Animated Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."Dear Basketball". Wait. Kobe Bryant is an Oscar winner now?

9:40p And now...Best Animated Feature. The Oscar goes to...Coco (8/24)!

9:43p Daniela Vega introduces the third nominee for Original Song, "Mystery of Love" from Call Me by Your Name.

9:51p An ad for the Overlook Hotel?

9:52p Gina Rodriguez and Tom Holland present Best Visual Effects. The Oscar goes to...Blade Runner 2049.

9:55p Matthew McConaughey presents Best Editing. The Oscar goes to...Dunkirk.

10:00p Jimmy Kimmel takes a bunch of celebs to blow the minds of moviegoers. Hey, beats the crap out of a pizza party.

10:07p And the moviegoers are suitably shook.

10:09p Tiffany Haddish and Maya Rudolph present Documentary Short Subject, which goes to..."Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405" (9/24)!

10:14p The moral of that exchange is that people need to write better comedies for women.

10:15p ...and Best Live Action Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."The Silent Child".

10:18p Dave Chappelle presents the fourth nominee for Original Song, "Stand Up for Something" from Marshall.

10:25p Ashley Judd, Annabella Sciorra and Salma Hayek take a glance at trailblazers.

10:31p Chadwick Boseman and Margot Robbie present Best Adapted Screenplay. The Oscar goes to... James Ivory for Call Me by Your Name (10/24)!

10:36p Nicole Kidman presents Best Original Screenplay. The Oscar goes to...Jordan Peele for Get Out. I'm happy to be wrong for once.

10:42p Wes Studi (a Vietnam vet!) introduces a montage of war movies.

10:46p Sandra Bullock presents Best Cinematography. The Oscar goes to...Roger Deakins for Blade Runner 2049 (11/24)! 'bout damn time! I guess I'll have to see it at some point.

10:50p Zendaya introduces the last nominee for Original Song, "This is Me" from The Greatest Showman.

10:57p Christopher Walken presents Best Original Score. The Oscar goes to...Alexandre Desplat for The Shape of Water (12/24)! Gorgeous, thematic, perfect. God does exist.

11:01p Lin-Manuel Miranda and Emily Blunt present Best Original Song. The Oscar goes to..."Remember Me" from Coco (13/24)!

11:04p Jennifer Garner introduces the 'In Memoriam' montage.

11:12p Emma Stone presents Best Director. The Oscar goes to...Guillermo Del Toro for The Shape of Water (14/24)!

11:19p A montage of Best Actor winners. Jane Fonda and Helen Mirren present the award, which goes to...Gary Oldman in Darkest Hour (15/24)! Nice of him to thank Churchill.

11:28p A montage of Best Actress winners. Jodie Foster (hope she's all right) and Jennifer Lawrence present Best Actress. The Oscar goes to...Frances McDormand for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Like I said, a two-woman race. I just backed the wrong one.

11:37p "We'll be opening this envelope." Maybe, shred the other ones, just in case.

11:41p Back for an encore performance are Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway presenting Best Picture. The Oscar goes to.... (dramatic pause) The Shape of Water.

11:48p Hey, Mark Bridges has two Oscars and a jet-ski! Not bad.

15/24. Best score I've ever had. Cool night.

Viva Jay Sherman! Viva Quebec!

One of these days, I'm gonna run dry of these Oscar thread titles. Hopefully, by that time, I'll be making movies instead of merely talking about them.

Picture: I want to say Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri...and so, I will.

Actor: I think that Gary Oldman will be the likely choice.

Actress: What this category ultimately comes down to is a two-woman race, in my view. Between Sally Hawkins and Frances McDormand, I'll go with...Hawkins.

Supporting Actor: As you'll also see with my next choice, it takes a truly talented performer to make us care about, essentially, a horrible person. Sam Rockwell.

Supporting Actress: Fearless, funny and wonderfully nasty. Allison Janney.

Director: I'm gonna guess Guillermo Del Toro, just because.

Original Screenplay: Having seen all the nominees (save Lady Bird), this is a wide open category, but to choose one...Three Billboards.

Adapted Screenplay: I'm still blown away that Logan made the category, but cool as a win would be, let's be realistic. Call Me by Your Name.

Cinematography: Roger Deakins is winning this, no question. They're gonna give it to him, one way or the other, even if they have to yank it from the hands of the actual winner.

Editing: The Shape of Water.

Art Direction: The Shape of Water. Hey, this could mark the beginning of a slide.

Costume Design: I cannot overemphasize this enough: it's a period piece about a man who designs clothes. Do I need to draw a map?! (Phantom Thread)

Make-Up and Hairstyling: Darkest Hour.

Animated Feature: Coco. Period.

Original Score: As long as it goes to anything but Dunkirk, I'm good. More specifically, The Shape of Water.

Original Song: Honestly, there would have to be a lot of beep-bop-boop robots on the voting board for "Remember Me" not to win. (Some people actually wondered why the most popular song in Mexico would have English lyrics. Because shut up is why!)

Visual Effects: WETA, apparently, has never won an Oscar. Unacceptable. War for the Planet of the Apes's effects were stunning. Let's fix a mistake.

Sound (Mixing): And now, we come to the 'guesses pulled out of my ass' portion of the ballot. Baby Driver.

Sound Editing: Dunkirk (but this better not be the launching point of a slide).

Documentary Feature: Last Men in Aleppo.

Documentary Short Subject: "Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405".

Animated Short Subject: "Revolting Rhymes".

Live-Action Short Subject: "DeKalb Elementary".

Foreign Film: A Fantastic Woman.