The gold standard.

No more shenanigans. These are my Oscar picks:

Picture: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. A movie about making movies and the best movie I saw last year. Good deal.

Actor: Even with my misgivings about the film, Joaquin Phoenix earned this prize.

Actress: The buzz for Renee Zellweger was strong even early on and though Erivo's performance was the only thing keeping Harriet afloat, I'm sticking with the buzz.

Supporting Actor: Much as I liked the work of Pesci and Pacino, they are likely to cancel each other out. Ultimately, I'm going with...Brad Pitt.

Supporting Actress: Call it intuition. Call it the Holdo Maneuver, but I'm liking Laura Dern's chances.

Director: Sam Mendes. For real, if someone flubbed a line, they started over from the beginning? Jesus. No way I could have that kind of patience.

Original Screenplay: Much as I liked Knives Out (and an Oscar would put certain people in their place), this is definitely going to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Adapted Screenplay: Jojo Rabbit. I just have a feeling.

Cinematography: Robert Richardson's work on Once... was typically strong, but the work necessary to pull off a one-take movie...say hello to Oscar number 2, Roger Deakins.

Editing: Ford v. Ferrari, because it ought to get freaking something.

Original Score: The buzz is leaning toward Joker, but if it gets Thomas Newman his long-deserved Oscar, 1917 all the way.

Original Song: "I'm Gonna Love Me Again", because Rocketman ought to get freaking something.

Costume Design: Little Women. Period piece + fancy dresses = gold. It's science.

Production Design: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. It can't have been easy creating that look of 1969, but the end result was impressive.

Animated Feature: Granted, the film was lightweight, but Missing Link was a great deal of fun. Plus, Laika is long overdue for a win.

Hair and Make-Up: Judy, Judy, Judy. (The young people probably don't know this joke. Sad, really.)

Sound: Ford v. Ferrari.

Sound Effects Editing: Ford v. Ferrari.

Documentary Feature: I'm never good at these, but let's just say...American Factory.

Documentary Short Subject: "Learning to Skate in a Warzone (if you're a girl)". Hey. I like the title.

Animated Short Subject: "Hair Love". I wonder if it's available to watch anywhere.

Live-Action Short Subject: I've long since lost interest in going to see the short film programs at the theaters (and was there even time to book the program for this year?), but I'll pick..."The Neighbors' Window".

Visual Effects: Avengers: Endgame, because duh.

Foreign Film: Parasite. They'll find a way to screw it out of the major categories. Just you watch.