The movies of 2019.

Well, it's about that time again.

My favorite movies of the year:

10. Uncut Gems - A tense and exciting drama, propelled by a revelatory performance from Adam Sandler.

9. The Irishman - One last mob movie hurrah from Scorsese; a rumination on the toll a life of violence can take.

8. Knives Out - Rian Johnson's murder mystery is rich in details and just the right amount of quirk, backed by a terrific cast.

7. Dolemite is My Name - One of Eddie Murphy's finest performances enlivens this sweet and hilarious story of Rudy Ray Moore.

6. Ready or Not - Kind of the twisted mirror of Knives Out; a riotous mix of "The Most Dangerous Game" and "Arrested Development".

5. Booksmart - Far more than 'the female Superbad', a delightful last-day-of-school comedy with splendid work from Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever.

4. Shazam! - One of DC's best movies ably combines elements of coming-of-age drama, body-swap comedy and startling horror, with a perfectly-cast Zachary Levi in the title role.

3. Ford v. Ferrari - Drama about racing and the bonds that result is fantastic with exciting racing scenes and a strong central team in Matt Damon and Christian Bale.

2. Avengers: Endgame - A truly impressive valedictory for Marvel Studios and an entertaining culmination of ten years of universe building.

1. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood - Granted, it's as leisurely as Tarantino's last few movies, but in a rich setting like this and with colorful characters like these, should that really matter?


Runners-up:

The Art of Self-Defense 

Captain Marvel

Frozen II

The Good Liar

The LEGO Movie 2

Missing Link

The Peanut Butter Falcon

Rocketman

Spider-Man: Far from Home

21 Bridges

Underrated: Charlie's Angels, Fighting with My Family and Gemini Man

Overrated: Joker and Us

Guilty pleasures: Angel Has Fallen


My favorite things in movies - 2019: Angus Imrie and Patrick Stewart in The Kid Who Would Be King
The bridge crossing in Jumanji: the Next Level
Elsa sees into the past in Frozen II
The flea market performance of "Thunder Road" in Blinded by the Light
The foot chase in Joker
The frat house fight in Good Boys
The girls take a boat ride in Charlie's Angels
The journey of the propane tank in Stuber
Mary Elizabeth Winstead in Gemini Man (and between this, Scott Pilgrim, 10 Cloverfield Lane and - I know this is presumptuous, but to hell with it - Birds of Prey, isn't it time she had her own franchise?) Michael Moh as Bruce Lee in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
The motorcycle chase and subsequent fight in Gemini Man
The Mr. Mime interrogation in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu
The murder mystery party in Booksmart
Nick Nolte in Angel Has Fallen, especially when he sets off his security system Noah Jupe and FKA Twigs play baseball in Honey Boy
The recreation of the classic title sequence in The Addams Family  Sofia's dogs have their day in John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum
Thomas Haden Church reopens his wrestling school in The Peanut Butter Falcon
"Those people we don't want here are trying to escape! Force them to stay!" - Missing Link
The "Up in the Frathouse" number in Black Christmas
Wesley Snipes in Dolemite is My Name

Holy shit, was that...?

Jai Courtney in Alita: Battle Angel
Tate Donovan in Rocketman
Stephen Merchant in Good Boys and Jojo Rabbit
Chris Rock and Bob Odenkirk in Dolemite is My Name
M. Emmet Walsh in Knives Out
Frank Whaley in Hustlers

What a tragic waste...

Laura Dern in Cold Pursuit
Djimon Hounsou in Serenity
Nicole Kidman in The Upside
Missi Pyle in Ma

Random thoughts:

- All Brie Larson wanted was for critics of all races to be given a chance, but of course, White guys (the most persecuted-against race in history) had to misinterpret that as 'I don't want White guys seeing my movie' and suddenly, she's something of a pariah among idiots. But then, you look at what's being said by 'precious' white male critics like Rex Reed, David 'everything's better with butter' Edelstein (note to self: start a charge.org petition to have this etched onto his tombstone) and Todd McCarthy (look up his review for Dora and the Lost City of Gold, if you dare) and you can't help but think that film criticism could use some diversity...and that those mouth breathers owe Miss Larson an apology. And be sure to add to the above list Owen Gleiberman (among his worst of the year list: Rocketman and the last 30 minutes of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and on his most overrated movies of the decade list: Paddington 2...but not Drive) and Richard Scheib (This one hurts because, unlike Gleiberman, I actually respected this guy. His comments about Will Ferrell in his Land of the Lost review were something of a red flag and his complaint about how Jasmine could never have been Sultan in Aladdin, quite a logical one about a film where a guy finds a wish-granting genie, was ridiculous. The straw that broke my back, though, was his Abominable review. Call me crazy, but xenophobia has no place in film criticism.)

- One of my local theaters was showing the original Black Christmas the night before the remake was set to hit theaters. My plan was to watch the original, then zoom over to the nearest first-run theater and check out the remake. However, just like in a bad sitcom, the people ahead of me bought the last tickets (There were two showings and my plan was to watch the earlier one, so instead of staying for the latter screening, I huffed my way home. No original, no remake, no way.). I finally caught up with the remake on Christmas Eve...and in hindsight, it probably worked out for the best. While the film worked as a 'girl power!' slasher movie, it was less effective as a remake of the original movie. (The 2006 remake was closer to the original, but burdened with cartoonish gore and an oppressively un-fun feel.) Still, if a project these days dares to make a pro-female statement, the knuckle-draggers will tear it down. Tragic.

- Speaking of horror remakes that turn people into morons...Child's Play. I find it endlessly comical that people will blast Don Mancini's directing efforts for being too goofy (yes, for a franchise about a killer talking doll), yet hold the remake up as a legitimately scary effort. With scenes like the doll controlling a self-driving car, killing its passenger and the one where Andy (and whose bright idea was it to make him into a sullen jerk?) tries to hide a watermelon on which the severed face of Karen's jerk boyfriend is placed, there's no way that people could take this seriously, unless they've got mental problems.

- Don't let my placement of a moment from Stuber throw you. The film is a monstrous disappointment. It's harder to discern what the bigger flop is: the action (which wastes the talents of the dude from the Raid movies on shaky-cam horseshit) or the comedy (which, true to form, favors lame 'naughty' jokes over genuine humor). Kind of a shame as Dave Bautista and Kumail Nanjiani made a good team and, as someone who recently got Lasik, one couldn't help but chuckle at what Bautista's temporarily blind cop had to go through.

- Ma was a couple of drafts away from being great, but - for better or worse - one of the more memorable moments was the brief glance of Luke Evans. Who expected that from a Blumhouse thriller?

- The year in PG-13 F-bombs: Jojo Rabbit, Ford v. Ferrari, Knives Out, Alita: Battle Angel, Hobbs & Shaw, Isn't It Romantic, Happy Death Day 2U and the year's best in show, Gemini Man.

- One of the stupider cinematic prospects of the year was the melding of Shaft and Ride Along. (I can't believe that some people thought this to be a better option than Men in Black: International, released the same day.) On the bright side, this big bag of nothing - and the unfortunate passing of John Singleton - will cause people to look at the 2000 reboot with more fondness. Seriously, it's really damn good.

- The live-action remake of Dumbo was watchable, with strong production values and a terrific cast...and ennui so thick, you could feel it wafting off the screen. Once upon a time, in his episode of Encore's "The Directors", Tim Burton remarked, "I wouldn't know a good script if it bit me in the face.". It sure bit him on the ass this time. For one thing, there's the young girl's interest in science that fails to pay off in any way, satisfying or otherwise, as well as the insane coincidence of Dumbo's mother showing up at the new and improved zoo. Some time ago, a picture circulated of Peter Jackson on the set of one of the Hobbit movies looking like his soul was crushed into dust. Between Dumbo and Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, it is virtually impossible not to imagine Burton feeling this way. As a long-time fan, I sincerely hope that whatever he works on next reinvigorates his love of filmmaking...and hopefully, he has a good script reader at his side.

- The scene in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood where Cliff went back to his trailer and prepared dinner for his dog...was I the only one who thought that Cliff was going to partake of the dog food? [Edit: Well, as confirmed by the Honest Trailer for Every Quentin Tarantino Movie, Cliff does, in fact, taste the dog food. Protip, kids: getting old sucks.]