Viva Jay Sherman! Viva Quebec!

One of these days, I'm gonna run dry of these Oscar thread titles. Hopefully, by that time, I'll be making movies instead of merely talking about them.

Picture: I want to say Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri...and so, I will.

Actor: I think that Gary Oldman will be the likely choice.

Actress: What this category ultimately comes down to is a two-woman race, in my view. Between Sally Hawkins and Frances McDormand, I'll go with...Hawkins.

Supporting Actor: As you'll also see with my next choice, it takes a truly talented performer to make us care about, essentially, a horrible person. Sam Rockwell.

Supporting Actress: Fearless, funny and wonderfully nasty. Allison Janney.

Director: I'm gonna guess Guillermo Del Toro, just because.

Original Screenplay: Having seen all the nominees (save Lady Bird), this is a wide open category, but to choose one...Three Billboards.

Adapted Screenplay: I'm still blown away that Logan made the category, but cool as a win would be, let's be realistic. Call Me by Your Name.

Cinematography: Roger Deakins is winning this, no question. They're gonna give it to him, one way or the other, even if they have to yank it from the hands of the actual winner.

Editing: The Shape of Water.

Art Direction: The Shape of Water. Hey, this could mark the beginning of a slide.

Costume Design: I cannot overemphasize this enough: it's a period piece about a man who designs clothes. Do I need to draw a map?! (Phantom Thread)

Make-Up and Hairstyling: Darkest Hour.

Animated Feature: Coco. Period.

Original Score: As long as it goes to anything but Dunkirk, I'm good. More specifically, The Shape of Water.

Original Song: Honestly, there would have to be a lot of beep-bop-boop robots on the voting board for "Remember Me" not to win. (Some people actually wondered why the most popular song in Mexico would have English lyrics. Because shut up is why!)

Visual Effects: WETA, apparently, has never won an Oscar. Unacceptable. War for the Planet of the Apes's effects were stunning. Let's fix a mistake.

Sound (Mixing): And now, we come to the 'guesses pulled out of my ass' portion of the ballot. Baby Driver.

Sound Editing: Dunkirk (but this better not be the launching point of a slide).

Documentary Feature: Last Men in Aleppo.

Documentary Short Subject: "Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405".

Animated Short Subject: "Revolting Rhymes".

Live-Action Short Subject: "DeKalb Elementary".

Foreign Film: A Fantastic Woman.