Mr. Cellophane

In a location adjacent to a place in a city of some significance, what comes out of my head is plastered on the walls of this blog.

Monday, June 27, 2016

"ReBoot!" - Citizens on Patrol

Jumper - What a fascinating power it must be to jump; hopping from place to place around the world. Of course, it might be a good idea not to rob a bank or pine for the schoolyard crush that got away. Seems like such things might, I don't know, leave a trail. Maybe, pursue a "The Fugitive"/"Incredible Hulk" template of the guy trying to help people while running away from the Paladins for indulging his darker impulses and finds that, no matter how many people he helps, he can't control using his powers to improve his financial standing (maybe, shy away from a drug addiction metaphor) or his love life.

R.I.P.D. - Despite its half-baked script and effects, there was the germ of a good idea in this movie: deceased spirits rounding up rogue afterlife elements. As one of the few people who genuinely liked the film, I think we can try again with this. At the time of the film's release, someone suggested that this would make a decent Syfy program. With the constant recycling of IP, here's hoping I get an opportunity to test that theory.

Cowboys and Aliens - Aliens arrive on Earth in the Old West and kidnap people. Cowboys go to fight the aliens. A movie with a creative nugget like this should not be bland as a mayo on white sandwich (but if it weren't, I probably wouldn't be talking about it here). Honest to Jesus, people should be imprisoned for botching such an interesting idea. I have an idea: maybe, the aliens come to Earth and need a certain kind of mineral, like gold or something; maybe it sustains their planet. The cowboys don't fight the aliens; they team up against a ruthless villain, taking on the villain's forces with Earthling know-how and interstellar firepower...and for the four or five of you who got the reference, I absolutely suggested that they rip off Zone Troopers. A good idea's a good idea, no matter where it comes from.


Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Random Thoughts - 'cause I know you've been missing this.

- Cannot believe it about Anton Yelchin. I enjoyed him in so many movies: Charlie Bartlett. Fright Night. The Beaver. Star Trek. Hell, even the underwhelming Burying the Ex and Terminator: Salvation managed to not ruin him. I will miss him so much.

- Now, it is a rare thing for me to write a screenplay all the way through. Not so much in completing one; I've done that, a few times. What I mean is that I find myself skipping around, because I'm really eager to finish one scene first, even if it comes later than the scenes I have yet to write. Just the other day, I wrote the climax of my horror movie. It's in a word document, but it tops out at a good 15 pages. I'm pretty proud. Less so of the fact that I'm writing something that would've been a dime a dozen in the 80s and 90s, but will have to fight about 200 Blumhouse clones to get noticed in today's horror society.

- Speaking of chasing a dream of screenwriting, usually there's an Amateur Offerings Weekend post at Scriptshadow. This past weekend, though, there wasn't. The last few weeks, I was submitting my script for notice, only to get nothing. My usual bout of whining (I'm man enough to admit that) was met with the usual 'here's what you're doing wrong'. It seemed like I was getting nowhere, with one response in particular nearly prompting me to go on a Syndrome-like path of revenge...then someone else responded and inspired me to try a new angle in getting the script out there. Here's hoping it works.

- Has it really been so long since I used microfiche? That's what I asked myself today when I tried to use it. I loaded it into the machine, but it was going far slower than I remember...then I was forced to ask for help and the librarian showed me that I needed to put the microfiche under the glass to get it to go faster. I doubt I'm getting old; it's just that the microfiche is falling further into irrelevance.

- I had planned to write something about how it's been making the news that the scumbag that shot up the gay nightclub in Orlando was, himself, so far in the closet that he was finding Christmas presents, to be capped off by a sarcastic, 'Film at eleven.', but I'm sure that exactly no one cares about my barely-informed blathering.


Thursday, June 16, 2016

The problem with having very little money - if not, none at all - is that there's so much you want to have and you have no way to get it. (To pick an example out of a hat: ever since I heard about crab rangoon pizza on "Food Paradise", I've wanted to try it. However, I know that it's gonna be several years before I can afford to fly to the place that serves it, so I was planning on making my getting crab rangoon from a Chinese restaurant and eating it with pizza from a pizza place. However, I can't yet afford that, either; something that would, at most, run me ten bucks.)

Granted, I have a job and I'm currently in the process for interviewing for another, but the money I currently have can only stretch so far. Yesterday, during a day trip to sell some of my DVDs*, I rummaged through the armrest/compartment of my car and noticed several old ATM receipts I'd saved. Many of them were from last year and, at varying points, I had three figure totals in my account. I'd kill to have that kind of fiduciary consistency again...and, God willing, I won't have to.

* - Unlike my CDs, to which I have a deep connection with and, as such, could never completely sell, I have little - if any - problem with selling DVDs. With the many viewing platforms these days (and the unfortunate dearth of special features on some of them), unloading DVDs for a bit of coin makes for a nice problem solver. Just yesterday, I was able to sell six DVDs...and I got back $6.50. Sure brought a smile to my face.


Thursday, June 09, 2016

Our hot water heater crapped out and while waiting for the guy to install the new one, I was forced to take a hooker's bath in cold water. Could I have gone without? The morning before one of the (if not the) most important job interviews of my life? Not likely.

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Monday, June 06, 2016

Let me tell you: it can be a right pain in the ass when you hear about a movie on a message board or movie review site and (whether the review is positive or negative) you get so curious that you try to seek out the movie, only to find a) the whole movie's not on YouTube, DailyMotion or anything of that ilk and b) it's available on DVD or VHS and, despite your curiosity, you don't feel like pulling the trigger on ordering it online (issues of cheapness aside, you might end up finding the film just as disappointing as the reviewer did...and you can kiss the money you spent on it goodbye).

This weekend, thanks to the venerable John Kenneth Muir, I heard about a made-for-TV movie called Death Stalk; sort of a precursor to 1994's The River Wild with a bit of Deliverance sprinkled on top, but lesser than either of those. His review argued this point and (from what I was able to scrape together on YouTube) I can certainly see where he was coming from.

Speaking of watching this on YouTube, I tried. The uploader (perhaps as a copyright dodge...or just plain incompetence) didn't put up the whole movie. There are 19 clips of this movie on his account and, I swear to you, at least 7 of them are, if not the same stretch of footage, then certainly excerpted from it. All in all, if I had the time and drive to edit them together, I'd probably end up with about 35-45 minutes of watchable footage...out of a 73 minute movie. How hard would it have been to put the whole thing up?

Still, what I saw of the movie ended up being fairly useful for something I'm planning on writing. Plus, Norman Fell (Mr. Roper from "Three's Company") is one of the bad guys. Don't tell me you're not slightly curious to see Mr. Roper firing a gun.

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