So, there's this new cartoon, "Disenchantment". I've been seeing ads for it. Now, there's nothing at all wrong with dark humor...if it's done well. The jokes in the ads for this show play like dark humor written by people who don't understand it well, but had it explained hastily to them by people who are a little fuzzy on the concept themselves.

Not in so many words, but I vocalized this on a Disqus thread recently and was shot down because it was a thread for people who'd seen the show, not just ads. Well, "Disenchantment" is on Netflix and not all of us have a high-falutin' Netflix subscription...and tripe like this doesn't exactly spur me to get one.

There are so many good to great cartoons on currently: "Craig of the Creek", "Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure", "Summer Camp Island", "We Bare Bears" and the "DuckTales" reboot. Why would I pay $7.95 a month to watch Matt Groening kill himself to an empty house, not realizing that the audience left five years ago?

The Great Outdoors (Thomas Newman)

Chet (John Candy) just wanted to spend a quiet vacation in the wilderness with his family, but things are complicated by the arrival of his jet-setting cousin, Roman (Dan Aykroyd). Amusing enough, though there's nothing here that writer-producer John Hughes didn't do better in his other movies.

It will never cease to amuse me that, long before the acclaim, Thomas Newman scored a bunch of comedies. Though at least two other composers are credited in the end titles, there are some fascinating bits here showing that Thomas Newman was Thomas Newman even this early in his career.

The Great Outdoors

music by

Thomas Newman

1. Roman Charges 0.13
2. Around the Bend 0.21
3. New Arrival 0.26
4. Catch of the Day/Horny the Bear 2.24
5. A True Bear Story 3.22
6. Is He Still Around? 0.47
7. Roman's Story 1.24
8. Raccoon Buffet 0.27
9. Morning at the Cabin 0.36
10. Perfecto 0.02
11. Chet-ski (Tom Scott?) 2.16
12. Don't Feed the Bears 2.36
13. Not a Tourist Attraction 1.00
14. Family Ring/Trash Pandas 1.21
15. The Driving Range/Horseback/First Date 3.08
16. New Girlfriend 1.15
17. The Bat Cave 1.43
18. Bait Shop Date 0.55
19. The Ol' 96er 1.38
20. The Break-in/Ditched 1.16
21. Leeches!/Cammie's Busy 0.54
22. Roman's Hurt 0.48
23. Guilt Trip 1.20
24. Mara and Cara in the Cave 3.52
25. The Rescue 2.06
26. Tug-o-War 1.14
27. Bare-Headed Bear! 1.06
28. Bear in the Cabin 2.03
29. Goodbye, Cammie 0.38
30. The (Bear) End 0.22

Well, that escalated quickly.

Spoiler alert: I thought I had HIV. Let me explain: two weeks ago today, I worked a ten-hour shift in a nasty ass discount clothing (well, mostly clothing; they sold other stuff) store. At one point, I noticed a red blotch on my thumb that I certainly don't remember having when I came into the store. I figured it came from a marker. I washed it off, but the stain didn't fully come off. Then (in a movie of unprecedented boldness) I tried removing it the natural way: licking it and wiping it off on something.

Not long after that, I saw a co-worker nursing a cut. Now, my mind goes to freaky places when I'm scared, so right then and there, I'm a mite nervous. I look up 'symptoms of HIV' on line and, disturbingly, effects occur within weeks of first contact, symptoms much like those of the flu.

Fatigue, malaise, night sweats, skin rash. Check, check, check and check. A nose like a broken faucet and a sore throat to complete the package.

Naturally, I'm getting super worried. I need an HIV test freaking yesterday.

Thankfully, I was able to get one done today. (BTW, I quizzed that same co-worker at today's shift and she told me that she was feeling healthy, so I'm ready to lighten up.) The result came back negative!

But, what about the symptoms? Fatigue...bad diet + no exercise = might do that to you. Malaise...That's every damn day for me. Night sweats...It is the summer. Skin rash...there must've been some bad detergent in one of my undershirts.

As to the dripping nose and sore throat? Just the Typhoid Marys at my job who think they're too good to cover their mouths when they cough.

Still, this should speak to my new lease on life; a determination to get a better job. One where people don't spread germs.

Feeling pretty sick, but I have a weird feeling that this isn't a regular kind of sick. More like a life-altering sickness. Pray for me, in any case.