Mr. Cellophane

In a location adjacent to a place in a city of some significance, what comes out of my head is plastered on the walls of this blog.

Monday, May 30, 2016

As I have every year, I came up with a list of resolutions in hopes of improving my life...and as I have every year, I end up sticking with maybe one or two of them.

One of the resolutions I've managed to uphold is no longer listening to a composer's music on their birthday. I even used to do this in the days when I had full time jobs. Inevitably, I would have more of a composer's works than could be packed into a single day, so I arranged my listening over several days. Would this cause problems? Certainly. (John Williams' birthday is February 8th. Jerry Goldsmith's is February 10th. You do the math.)

The fascinating irony is that I've given up this habit and I now have the free time to save on listening days. Perhaps, this is just as well, given that my current CD player goes through batteries like I go through popcorn during an action movie. (Even more, I'm paring my collection down for quick cash, which would definitely have made the listening easier.)

I mention this because I'd momentarily forgotten that Danny Elfman's birthday was yesterday. By this time, I'd likely have been finishing up his work and moving on to the one Michael Small album in my collection.

Now I have more time to do nothing. Kind of freeing, to be honest.

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Thursday, May 26, 2016

About a month ago, I made a batch of brownies, substituting Miracle Whip for oil and heeding the box's suggestion of three eggs (instead of the traditional two) for more cake-like brownies. They were good, but I was ultimately eager for 'brownie-like' brownies.

Having gotten another box of brownie mix, I want to try again, even though I'm running low on Miracle Whip. However, this site tells me that a good substitute for oil is applesauce...and there just so happens to be some available.

Here's hoping.


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

There's something weird and it don't look good.

In yet another of example of 'Goddamnit, moviegoers!', The Angry Birds Movie, an idea that should've been mailed to four years ago when people might've cared, not only topped the box office, but substantially out-grossed the far more acclaimed The Nice Guys, Shane Black's latest joint which is on my short list of 'wild dogs' movies coming this summer (as in 'Wild dogs couldn't keep me away from this'; Civil War and Suicide Squad are the others).

Sometimes, when you're forced to sit through a trailer for a movie again and again, you soon formulate the opinion that this movie is trash and you want nothing to do with it. The Angry Birds Movie was just such a trailer. Amazingly, Ghostbusters (you know, the one that's crawling with cooties) is another, and on an almost unprecedentedly toxic level. Personal opinion: the humor in the trailers is rather 'meh', but nothing I'd declare a jihad on, the way most people seem to be reacting. Maybe, it's the idea of an all-female reboot that's got people up in arms (likely started by people who've never even talked to a girl*), but there are far more objectionable movies coming to theaters, such as...

Independence Day: Regurgitation...Resurgence (as if there's a difference) - Let's see what we're working with here: a same-but-different follow-up to a smash hit from back in the day, peppered with people who helped make the original a hit. Yet Ghostbusters is getting flayed and this is getting a pass? Fuck outta here! And five more demerits to the production for not hiring David Arnold to do the music.

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates - A pair of rowdy brothers need dates for their sister's wedding, so they put out an ad...and attract two girls way rowdier than them. Now that's comedy? Minor pet peeve: is this really the only way a comedy with girls in it can be accepted, if they're just as down and dirty as - if not more than - the guys?

Sausage Party - Food comes alive when humans aren't around or something. So, either The Secret Life of Pets with cursing or Foodfight with a patina of professionalism. Either way, hugely unappetizing.

Farting Corpse Movie - I suppose I could call it by its actual title, but fuck that noise. It's a movie about a farting corpse and, as such, does not deserve the dignity of a title.

Yoga Hosers - I can't believe I actually forgot about this movie in the initial post. A more or less remake of Clerks, but the two leads here must try to stop the nasty plans of Nazi bratwursts. Yes. Nazi bratwursts. Honestly, it may as well be 90 minutes of Kevin Smith looking into the camera and saying, "I fucking give up.".

Seriously, if you can watch the trailers for these movies and still say, 'Ghostbusters looks way worse', I weep for you and for the people that would inflict you on a God-fearing world.

* - Don't bullshit a bullshitter; we can smell our own.

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Saturday, May 21, 2016

It's weird to think about now, but back in the 1990s, scores composed by such masters as Jerry Goldsmith, Elmer Bernstein and Maurice Jarre would be routinely thrown out, like junking a Cadillac because it had a broken spring. One piece of music I've grown greatly attracted to in the last few weeks is "Felina's Story", part of Bernstein's score for Walter Hill's Yojimbo-updated-to-the-1920s-yarn Last Man Standing.

One listen and I'm sure you can hear what I do: a greatly flavorful piece of music. Though the primary focus is on the cimbalom and the inevitable Ondes martenot, there's also a bit of saloon piano, likely a pertinent part of the story.

I'm sure this has come up before, but it'd be a damn shame for a film score to be thrown out because it was too interesting.


Tuesday, May 10, 2016

When you're a kid, you can't get enough of sweets. Hell, even in adulthood, this never changes.

Back one day in school, I passed a table and saw a container of what appeared to be Bon-Bons. As it turns out, they were sponge candy. Candy that was soft and covered in chocolate? Sign me up.

Years later, I partook of it myself and how did I find it? Hard. 'Sponge' referred to the resemblance to a sponge and not the consistency. Needless to say, I was immensely disappointed.

The reason I bring this up is two-fold: a) outside of Anderson's yesterday, I noticed that they were selling sponge candy ice cream. This is certainly guaranteed to be a softer experience than what I had all that time ago, but (money aside) I can't remember the taste of sponge candy well enough to want to pull the trigger.

And b), I believe this did a subconscious number on me. One of the best desserts I've ever encountered is yellow cake with chocolate frosting; kind of like sponge candy. The problem is that I can't really find it anymore. Sara Lee used to have this as part of their snack cake line, but it seems to have disappeared. Likewise, Little Debbie, which used to sell them all year round, just has their Fall Party Cakes, available for a six-week window. It's like a sort of long con variation on 'they found out I liked it, so they stopped making it', which is weird. Everyone likes yellow cake with chocolate frosting, don't they?

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