“This is for Tupac.”

At work today, as is my wont when I’m working on something, I looked for a podcast to listen to as I while away the time. I searched my database in my phone’s Notes app and I settled on Made for TV Mayhem.

A number of different podcasts came up. At the best of times, I struggle to pick one I can get into until I happen upon one called They Made Another One?!. This show goes into the sequels and remakes that have come out over the years. I could certainly see myself returning to this one week after week…or so I thought.

The episode I chose examined the pointless and unintentionally funny 2019 remake of Child’s Play. At least, it was supposed to. The episode ran an hour and fifty minutes and the show was roughly half over before they got to talking about the film. A lot of it was focused on dull tangents stemming from moments barely connected to the film, such as the quote above leading into a discussion between the three hosts about whether they preferred 2-Pac or Biggie and listing the players and (for some reason) their other credits flying off into talking about the movie The Ghost Goes West or debating whether Playmobil: the Movie fits the podcast’s criteria.

Though the skip button on my phone got a major workout, I toughed it out. Then came the moment that made me ragequit: one of them decrying black and white movies. Maybe, it was a joke, but if so, it wasn’t a very good one; there are too many jagoffs in the world today that genuinely espouse this sentiment. And on that note, if they were serious, what fucking business do they have talking about movies of any kind?!

I think someone needs to institute a new rule for movie podcasts: the host or hosts a) need to love movies and b) shouldn’t be fucking high when recording the episodes.