"Sorry, but there's profit to be had."

I don't like promising that I'm going to do things at a certain time (mainly because it puts the pressure on me to actually get things done, and I hate pressure), but the "Duckman" reviews will resume this weekend.

Speaking of beloved cartoons I grew up with, let me toss a few titles at you: "DuckTales". "Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers". "Tale Spin". "Darkwing Duck". "Raw Toonage". "Aladdin". "Gargoyles". "The Shnookums and Meat Funny Cartoon Show". "Mighty Ducks". "Pepper Ann". "Hercules". "Buzz Lightyear of Star Command". "The Legend of Tarzan". "The Weekenders". "Fillmore". "Kim Possible". "Dave the Barbarian". What do they all have in common?

They're all getting screwed over by the company that produced them: Diznee (hence the "Simpsons" reference of the title).

With the exception of "DuckTales", "Chip and Dale", "Gargoyles" and (if I understand correctly) "Darkwing Duck", none of the above-listed shows are on DVD. 'Tis a pity that the company doesn't realize the niche market that grew up with these shows and would love to see them released.

Sadly, like a number of conglomerates, they're too busy chasing the almighty dollar and the latest fad.

Case in point: the imminent restructuring of the network that once ran these shows: Toon Disney. After this Friday the 13th (hardly a coincidence, I assure you), Toon Disney will be an ex-channel, making way for DisneyXD. 'The 'X' makes it sound cool.' Not so this time, Bender. The 'X' (in all likelihood) stands for Xtreme. If ever there was a word ruined by popular culture, it's 'extreme'...and yes, that includes 'gay'.

The writing was kind of on the wall when the network, famous for airing Disney cartoon series, took to airing live-action movies and "Power Rangers" episodes that first aired long after the "Power Rangers" passed the point of social relevance. Still, this is absolute nonsense, pandering to the youth demographic like this. Don't youths like cartoons? What the hell happened?!

While I admit it'll be nice to see "Even Stevens", "Phil of the Future" and "Static Shock" (imagine "Danny Phantom" without the reverse Midas touch of Butch Hartman) back on the air, it's disheartening to think of the many fine animated series being written off like this (I surmise that the mini-marathons going on every weeknight this week are supposed to wean us off of them). Still, most of the above listed shows are available by other means (if the company simply released the shows on DVD, they could make a tidy profit as opposed to people watching them for free).

I guess they don't care that much about profit.