Mr. Cellophane

In a location adjacent to a place in a city of some significance, what comes out of my head is plastered on the walls of this blog.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Summer movie preview.


The Amazing Spider-Man - In this movie, Spider-Man faces off against Electro and the Green Goblin and the Rhino and...okay, isn't this just what cut the legs out from under the Raimi franchise?!

Walk of Shame - The night before a life-changing interview, reporter Elizabeth Banks ends up in one of those madcap, After Hours-style situations.

Neighbors - A young couple's peaceful life gets a jolt when a fraternity moves in next door. Not a remake of the Belushi/Aykroyd comedy, but it looks pretty damn funny.

Godzilla - Hollywood tries again with everyone's favorite giant lizard. Looks like the human stories are getting just as much attention (if not more) as the destruction.

Million Dollar Arm - Talent scout Jon Hamm travels to India to recruit baseball prospects. Not really my cup of tea, but looks likable enough.

Blended - First, Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore brought us The Wedding Singer. Then came 50 First Dates. Given the utterly putrid trailer for this movie, the third time will not be the charm.

X-Men: Days of Future Past - To prevent a future war, Wolverine is sent into the past to unite Xavier and Magneto's factions against a common enemy. Bryan Singer returns to the franchise.

Maleficent - Apparently, there's more to Sleeping Beauty than we thought. Angelina Jolie looks to be having fun as the Mistress of All Evil.

A Million Ways to Die in the West - Cowardly farmer Seth MacFarlane gets help from gunslinger Charlize Theron in facing her outlaw husband, Liam Neeson. Interesting choice for a second feature, though I doubt it'll unseat Blazing Saddles in the annals of great Western comedies.


Edge of Tomorrow - A soldier (Tom Cruise) in an intergalactic war finds himself reliving the same unfortunate day. Kind of a wonder that there haven't been more variations on Groundhog Day.

Chef - In an (possible) allegory for his career, writer/director Jon Favreau plays a chef who walks away from a successful if creatively stifling restaurant to get back to his roots.

The Fault in Our Stars - A pair of sickly teens fall in love. I guess it's nice to have an adaptation of a YA book not set in some dystopian future...or making a mockery of horror tropes.

22 Jump Street - The boys are back and heading to college. Hopefully, there will be some lampshading of the film's Hangover Part II-style pilfering of the first film's plot.

How to Train Your Dragon 2 - Vikings and dragons band together. I dare say this looks better than the first movie.

Think Like a Man Too - The whole gang returns and they're headed to Vegas.

Jersey Boys - Apparently an adaptation of a hit Broadway musical, but wait. Co-starring Christopher Walken and directed by Clint Eastwood. Yes, that Clint Eastwood.

Transformers: Age of Extinction - A new leading man (Mark Wahlberg) + Michael Bay's claim that this film will lack the goofiness of the first three = ...we'll see.


Tammy - Melissa McCarthy rebuilds her life with the help of grandmother (!) Susan Sarandon.

Deliver Us from Evil - A cop who doesn't believe in the supernatural finds himself menaced by it. (Go figure.) From the director of Sinister.

Earth to Echo - A bunch of kids stumble onto an alien lifeform and try to help it get back home. E.T. for the found footage generation.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes - Apparently, not all the humans were wiped out by that virus that made the apes intelligent.

Sex Tape - Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz put the spark back in their marriage by making a sex tape, and - wouldn't you know it - the darn thing gets loose. Promising reunion of the stars and director of Bad Teacher.

Planes: Fire and Rescue - Okay, Planes got a sequel. You tell me why. (Still, I did laugh at that 'pick-up trucks' line.)

Jupiter Ascending - I have no idea what the hell is going on in this trailer. Something about Mila Kunis as a princess and Channing Tatum as her protector and his pointy ears are a distraction. Oh, hell, I'll just wait for the Abridged Script.

The Purge: Anarchy - A couple's car breaks down at the worst possible time. The main complaint about the first movie was that it threw away a neat premise on a home invasion movie. From the looks of this one, the filmmakers got the message.

Step Up: All In - I have nothing to say about this.

Hercules - The second of the year's Hercules films stars Dwayne Johnson and is directed by Brett Ratner. If this one also stinks, at least there's the Disney version.


Guardians of the Galaxy - One of the more obscure branches of Marvel Comics gets a film adaptation. Written and directed by James Gunn, who's pretty trustworthy, for the most part. To this film's composer, Tyler Bates, I beg you: Do. Not. Fuck. This. Up.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - The latest rendition of the comic looks to be little more than a Transformers sequel, but with CGI turtles. If this one stinks, at least there's the original movies...I guess.

Get On Up - Apparently cornering the market on African-American luminaries, Chadwick Boseman (42) now takes on the Godfather of Soul, James Brown. From the writer/director of The Help.

Lucy - Drug mule Scarlett Johansson's life changes dramatically when the product gets loose in her system. What I wouldn't give to spend a night in Luc Besson's mind to know how he comes up with this stuff.

The Hundred-Foot Journey - The kid from Bad Words becomes an assistant to a chef, upsetting his father. Produced by Steven Spielberg and Oprah Winfrey. (Clearly, big things are expected from this.)

Let's Be Cops - Damon Wayans Jr. and Jake Johnson are best friends who decide to go to a costume party as cops...and are soon mistaken for the real thing. The trailer made me laugh so hard.

Into the Storm - From the director of the surprisingly entertaining Final Destination 5 comes a found footage movie about tornado chasers.

The Expendables 3 - Here's hoping that there's more action and less in-joking this time around. (Seriously, if I hear lines about tossed salads and scrambled eggs, how it's not being the years, but the mileage and the villain referred to as a lethal weapon, I'm gonna demand a refund. I never do that!)

The Giver - A young boy learns from the titular Giver (Jeff Bridges, of all people) that his idyllic world isn't so perfect. Yet another adaptation of a YA novel.

Sin City: a Dame to Kill For - It's about damn time. Another marvelous cast bringing Frank Miller's comics to life.

Jessabelle - A young woman discovers a lot of weirdness in her new home. Trailer was a bit too cliched. Weird to think it was scripted by The State's Robert Ben Garant.

The Loft - A group of friends share a secret loft with which to commit marital indiscretions, but when a woman's corpse is found in bed, one of them may be responsible. Looks better than I expected.


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