The obligatory 'Summer Movie Preview' thread!

"It's not new. It's not original. It isn't even very interesting. But it is coming this summer."
Trailer Announcer (voice of Tom Kenny) on the "Rocko's Modern Life" episode, "Popcorn Pandemonium"

The Mission has failed, Poseidon sunk and the Code is cracked. Here's my take on the summer movie season:

So the X-Men are returning for their Last Stand. As long as they don't tug too hard on Superman's cape upon his Return, I'll be happy. The Pirates of the Caribbean are also back and, apparently, they come bearing a Dead Man's Chest, which doesn't sound quite as frightening as the thought of Snakes on a Plane.

Apparently, the good people at Pixar feel safest of all in Cars, Steve Oedekerk brings a boatload of vocal talent to the Barnyard, Garfield heads to London for A Tale of Two Kitties and Jack Black steps into the ring as Nacho Libre.

Tyrese gets Waist Deep into trouble, Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx try out Miami Vice, Joy from "My Name is Earl" and Sin City's Miho are wanted DOA: Dead or Alive and many rotoscoped stars look through A Scanner Darkly.

The stars of Speed reunite on the much slower The Lake House and Robert Altman provides A Prairie Home Companion.

And on the lighter side, the guys of Broken Lizard attend Beerfest, Kevin Smith goes once more to the well for Clerks 2 and the team behind Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy take on NASCAR in the similarly-titled Talladega Nights: the Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

I know there are other movies coming out this season, but these are the ones in which I'm even slightly interested. (Must-sees are in bold.)

And, I promise, no more "Entertainment Tonight"-style crap like this ever again.