Oscar. Oscar who? Oscar who's gonna win.

Let's just do this.

Picture: It'll likely go to Boyhood. I just know it.
Actor: A lot of people have said that this will go to Eddie Redmayne, because who doesn't love a good 'challenged person overcoming adversity' performance? I said it at Uproxx and I'm saying it here: 'Fuck that noise. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!'.
Actress: Just give it to Julianne Moore, already. Seriously, what is so freaking hard about this?
Supporting Actor: Haven't seen Whiplash, but I hear that J.K. Simmons was phenomenal in it and I'm a fan of him in a lot of other stuff, so...yeah, why not? (Much as I loved Edward Norton in Birdman, there's no sense pissing in the wind.)
Supporting Actress: Though I greatly enjoyed the performances of Keira Knightley and Emma Stone, the smart choice would be Patricia Arquette.
Director: Richard Linklater. In the spaces of a decade of higher-profile movies, he shot Boyhood. Tell me that commitment like that doesn't deserve recognition.
Original Screenplay: Any one of the Best Picture nominees could walk away with this, but I'm thinking...The Grand Budapest Hotel.
Adapted Screenplay: American Sniper, because they're gonna want to give it something.
Cinematography: Much as I love Roger Deakins, the (impressive) trick-shot work of Emmanuel Lubezki on Birdman is far more likely to be recognized.
Art Direction: The Grand Budapest Hotel's sets looked fantastic.
Editing: Despite my desire to edit my own films, it's really anyone's category, here. Let's say Boyhood.
Costume Design: The Grand Budapest Hotel.
Original Score: I had issues with the film, but Alexandre Desplat's score for The Grand Budapest Hotel is unimpeachable. If a GBH sweep is what it takes to get Monsieur Desplat his first (!) Oscar, so be it.
Original Song: "I'll Get You Want You Want (Cockatoo in Malibu)". "Poisonous Love". "For the Dancing and the Dreaming". "A Million Ways to Die". "The Boxtrolls Song". That would've made a kick-ass category. As for the real nominees..."Everything is Awesome". It's happening, folks. Nothing to do but lie back and wait for it to be over.
Sound: Interstellar.
Sound Effects Editing: See above.
Animated Feature: This category isn't going to be as cut and dried as it was last year. This could seriously go to anyone...but Laika is long past due for a reward. The Boxtrolls.
Animated Short Subject: Lamentably, the short films did not end up online like in the past. The only one I've seen was "Feast", so...yeah. "Feast".
Live-Action Short Subject: "Boogaloo and Graham". Just a hunch.
Documentary Short Subject: "Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1".
Documentary Feature: Finding Vivian Maier.
Make-Up: Guardians of the Galaxy. No question.
Visual Effects: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Again, no question.
Foreign Film: I dunno. Ida?