My brief love affair with low-budget filmmaking.

I live in a town that doesn't have a particularly strong attraction for movie studios. Not very good for someone like myself who wants to enter the business. Much fuss was made years ago about a comedy that was set and to be shot here. All we were good for was some 2nd-unit footage which totals about two minutes of screen time. Top o' the world, ma.

So imagine my utter shock when I hear about a movie being shot here. It is being produced by Troma (The Toxic Avenger, Tromeo and Juliet). I was to be a production assistant. I thought to myself, 'Wow. It would be cool to get a feel for the whole movie-making experience.' It's not the material that scared me off (I've sat through stuff that's, if not more, than just as weird). Nor the fact that it would be for no pay. It's the work. A sample task: sleeping on the set at night to make sure that no one messes anything up.

To sum up, I think they should see other people. It's not them, it's me (see where the title originates?).

I'm not all that broken up about this. Besides, there are other ways to break into the business...and I'm just about prepared to exhaust every one.