Neither a borrower nor a Lenter be?

I'm not much of a religious man. It's been...too long since I've set foot inside a church. I do, however, believe in self-improvement. To that end, I will be fasting for Lent, 'cause if I can give up chocolate and self-gratification (yes, you read that right) for forty days, there's not a thing in the world I can't do.

Anyway you slice it, I just know I'll fare better than Josh Hartnett did.