Mr. Cellophane

In a location adjacent to a place in a city of some significance, what comes out of my head is plastered on the walls of this blog.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Of twats and 'Mutts'.

This entry is chock full of blue language, so anyone not old enough to be reading that type of language ought to turn back now.

Something interesting happened at work today. It's a long one, so get comfy. This woman, about 30, comes up to the service desk with about $150 of groceries. Given that she didn't get her 'meat package', she decides to return everything; there wasn't enough money on her food stamps card, apparently. In the midst of ringing out her stuff, she's asking me these questions; 'what do I think of working here?', 'do I have a girlfriend?' I answer some of the questions, but I'm thinking that none of this is her business. People don't come into the store for small talk and I have little, if any, desire to engage in it. Besides, she had two other people with her; she could've talked to them. After everything is rung up, I try to put it back on her card, but it won't go. My supervisor tries to do it, but still, no luck. This goes on for an hour, and in the hour, she starts insulting me; just firing off this stuff. During the refunding, she tried to flirt with me. I wasn't really in the mood to be flirted with; after all, I was trying to ring up $150 of fucking groceries! It's not that she was unattractive; I just don't feel that way toward African-American women...and that's a little unusual, me being an African-American man and all. Not only did it give me a solid reference as to why I gravitate away from women of my own color, but it reminded me of why I truly despise the "Kim Possible" character Bonnie Rockwaller. So nasty, so trampy and so fucking superior. Also, there are two kinds of people who buy that many groceries: people a) with a lot of mouths to feed and b) who are high as a kite. Even allowing for the woman's possible promiscuousness (bitch probably has seven vibrators; one for every day of the week), I doubt she has a big family. In fact, I'd wager the farm that she was high right then and there. Today's lesson, kids: never go shopping while you're high. That's a good way to end up on my shit list.

One would think that that would be enough for one day, but no. Oh, no. My local newspaper got rid of the comic strip "Mutts". Created by Patrick McDonnell, the strip is a truly heartwarming chronicle of the lives of a dog - Earl - and a cat - Mooch - and their owners. Unbe-fucking-lievable. They get rid of "Mutts", but keep "Curtis" (which is consistently uninteresting when not being idiotic) and "Zits" (whose lead character has slipped into outright insufferability; maybe it's because I'm no longer a teen). So far, this is shaping up to be a very shitty year.

Maybe there's nowhere to go but up, but don't you believe it!

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