Mr. Cellophane

In a location adjacent to a place in a city of some significance, what comes out of my head is plastered on the walls of this blog.

Friday, May 04, 2012

Summer movie preview.


The Avengers - All of those post-credit cookies in the last few years of comic-book movies are about to pay off.

The Dictator - Another feature-length "Punk'd" sketch from Sacha Baron Cohen. Also starring Ben Kingsley, John C. Reilly and a game Megan Fox.

God Bless America - This latest entry into the surprisingly burgeoning 'loser becomes a violent avenger' genre (Super, Defendor) reunites One Crazy Summer stars Joel Murray (in the lead) and Bobcat Goldthwait (the film's writer/director).

Dark Shadows - Adaptation of the 1970s vampire soap opera receives a sparkling makeover from Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. The trailer made me laugh (yes, I'm one of the ten).

Battleship - Based on the board game, but judging by the trailer, it may as well be based on the ingredients of a quiche.

What to Expect When You're Expecting - An impressive ensemble brings to life the famous book on pregnancy. Screenplay by Shauna Cross (Whip It) and Heather Hach (Freaky Friday).

Men in Black III - Another day, another alien menace to defeat.

Moonrise Kingdom - Wes Anderson's latest has two children running off together, sending a community into a tizzy looking for them.

Chernobyl Diaries - A group of backpackers visit the ruins of the infamous nuclear disaster and encounter ghosts. From the creator of Paranormal Activity. That just about says it all.


Piranha 3DD - Because the first movie just wasn't batshit crazy enough...

Snow White and the Huntsman - The second of the year's two Snow White films. I'm not that impressed and let's start with the fact that Kristen Stewart is considered fairer than Charlize Theron. Really?

Prometheus - The same director and the same vibe, but it's not Alien, something most obvious in the fashionable, photogenic cast.

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted - I missed the first two Madagascar films, but this one looks fairly amusing.

That's My Boy - Deadbeat dad Adam Sandler barges into the life of straitlaced son Andy Samberg. The script (back when it was "I Hate You Dad") made me laugh. Hopefully, this is a nice rebound from the last few years of Sandler sludge.

Rock of Ages - It's telling that Adam Shankman's best film as a director...hell, his only good a musical (Hairspray), so I have somewhat high hopes for this all-star adaptation of the Broadway play.

Brave - A young princess refuses to bow to the standards of the time. It's a Pixar film, so it's certain to be good.

Seeking a Friend at the End of the World - An asteroid is about to strike the Earth, so the recently separated Steve Carell tries to find a new love. Peculiar, but worth mentioning as the directorial debut of Lorene Scafaria, adapter of the underrated Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.

To Rome with Love - This year's Woody Allen film features Ellen Page, Alec Baldwin, Roberto Benigni and Jesse Eisenberg.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Before he was our 16th President, Lincoln killed vampires. An odder bird you will not find this season.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation - A follow-up to the guilty pleasure that looks to be truer to the cartoon's roots...and a bucket of fun.

Magic Mike - Steven Soderbergh's latest looks at the lives of male strippers. Okay...

Madea's Witness Protection - Wasn't this last year's Big Momma's House sequel?


The Amazing Spider-Man - The other Marvel movie of the season. Here's hoping it's not trampled underfoot.

Savages - A less manic return to Natural Born Killers territory for Oliver Stone. Two drug dealers (John Carter and Kick-Ass) must rescue their shared girlfriend from the clutches of Salma Hayek.

Ted - Seth MacFarlane's first foray into live-action looks somewhat better than its terrible script, but it's not high on my must-see list.

Ice Age: Continental Drift - Not sure we need a fourth Ice Age, but the trailer made me laugh and I've yet to encounter one of these movies that I dislike.

The Dark Knight Rises - Another trip to Gotham City with Catwoman and Bane joining the party.

Neighborhood Watch - A bunch of pals on neighborhood watch (Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill) stumble onto an alien invasion. From the director of Hot Rod, though this doesn't look as promising.

Step Up: Revolution - More dancing. What else is there to say?

Ruby Sparks - Paul Dano (reuniting with the directors of Little Miss Sunshine) is a frustrated writer who writes about the girl of his dreams...then she comes into being. If only, right?


The Bourne Legacy - Now batting for Matt Damon...Jeremy Renner. Looks like this franchise is...Bourne again. (Yeaaaaaah!)

Total Recall - No Johnnycab. No "Get your ass to Mars". No Goldsmith. Still, this remake does look like great fun.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days - Puberty seems to be setting in for Greg Heffley (or is that just the actor playing him?) in this third installment of the series.

The Campaign - The two sides of Jay Roach's career - wacky comedy (Austin Powers, Dinner for Schmucks) and politicial satire (Game Change, Recount) - combine as Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis fight over a Senate seat.

Hope Springs - Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones try to rekindle their marriage with the help of therapist Steve Carell. From the director of The Devil Wears Prada (which made millions) and The Big Year (which I and a handful of others saw).

The Odd Life of Timothy Green - A childless couple gathers the traits they would want in a son and they plant them, growing a little boy. Yes, I just typed that.

The Expendables 2 - I can only imagine what the legions of unwilling girlfriends dragged to this will be owed.

ParaNorman - In spite of the cutesy title, this stop-motion feature (from Laika, the studio behind Coraline) looks appealing.

Sparkle - Sort of like Dreamgirls, but the group is made up of sisters instead of friends.

Premium Rush - Bike messenger Joseph Gordon-Levitt tries to deliver a package whilst avoiding corrupt cop Michael Shannon.

The Apparition - A pair of collegians accidentally unleash a supernatural presence. There must be easier ways to get extra credit.

Lawless - An attractive cast makes up this Prohibition-era drama.

The Possession - In keeping with this summer's motif of uninspired horror flicks, an estranged couple reunites to save their daughter from an evil spirit.

7500 - I've had it with these motherfudgin' Grudges on this motherfudgin' plane! From the same director, so it kinda fits.



Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home