Cartoon Network, right?

If you're on the East Coast (like myself) and you follow TV schedules (like myself) then you know that Cartoon Network is airing the network television premiere of Dumb and Dumber. And if you have a triple-digit IQ, then you are justly outraged by this (like myself).

Some of the movies aired by the network in the last few months include: The Goonies, Snow Day, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids and The Mask. If you can believe it, and keep your lunch down in the process, there are some people out there who actually try to justify this, mainly because of Mask's cartoony effects and Honey's amusing animated title sequence. We'll call these folks 'dee dee dees'.

A lesser problem with the network is its burying of classic cartoons. Apparently, the thinking is that if it's older than fifteen years, it's worthless. I don't think I'm too unreasonable in believing that that's how the network brass views a big chunk of its audience. Believe it or else, adults do watch cartoons.

The network needs a lot more variety in its current lineup. As amusing as "Billy and Mandy" can be at times, there is no reason for it to have 23 time slots a week. (I counted.)

Now, I can't explain how (or why) I've kept it for so many years, but I found a schedule of Cartoon Network's lineup, circa 1993. It may surprise you. Note: scheduling between the hours of 12:00am and 6:00am was not listed.

Monday-Friday
6:00am - 10:00am - The Morning Crew (don't really recall; might've been classic cartoons)
10:00 - 11:00 - Tom and Jerry
11:00 - Top Cat
11:30 - Fantastic Max
12:00pm - Snorks
12:30 - Paw Paws
1:00 - Shirt Tales
1:30 - Kwicky Koala
2:00 - 4:00 - Down wit' Droopy D
4:00 - Top Cat
4:30 - Yogi's Treasure Hunt
5:00 - 6:00 - Super Adventures (these were segments of shows like "Birdman and the Galaxy Trio", IIRC)
6:00 - Birdman and the Galaxy Trio (speak of the devil...)
6:30 - Centurions
7:00 - Jonny Quest
7:30 - Back to Bedrock (Hey, everybody! Remember the Shmoo?)
8:00 - The Flintstones
8:30 - The Jetsons
9:00 - 11:30 - Bugs and Daffy Tonight
11:30pm - 12:00am - Toon Heads/Down wit' Droopy D (I think...)

Saturday
6:00am - 10:00am - World Famous Toons (this might also have been classic cartoons)
10:00 - 11:00 - Wacky Races
11:00 - The Huckleberry Hound Hour
12:00pm - 2:00pm - Super Adventures
2:00 - Galtar
2:30 - Birdman and the Galaxy Trio
3:00 - The Fantastic Four
3:30 - Dynomutt
4:00 - Thundarr the Barbarian
4:30 - Centurions
5:00 - Jonny Quest
5:30 - The Jetsons
6:00 - 7:00 - Wacky Races
7:00 - The Huckleberry Hound Hour
8:00 - 9:00 - Bugs and Daffy Tonight
9:00 - The Flintstones
9:30 - The Jetsons
10:00 - Back to Bedrock
10:30 - Jonny Quest
11:00pm - 12:00am - Toon Heads

Sunday
6:00am - I didn't write anything in this spot. Sorry.
6:30 - Paw Paws
7:00 - Shirt Tales
7:30 - Dink, the Little Dinosaur
8:00 - 9:00 - Snorks
9:00 - 10:00 - The Completely Mental Misadventures of Ed Grimley
10:00am - 12:00pm - Boomerang
12:00 - The Jetsons
12:30 - Jonny Quest
1:00 - 2:00 - Super Adventures
2:00 - Thundarr the Barbarian
2:30 - Birdman and the Galaxy Trio
3:00 - 4:00 - Magilla and Friends
4:00 - 6:00 - World Famous Toons
6:00 - 8:00 - Down wit' Droopy D
8:00 - 9:00 - Bugs and Daffy Tonight
9:00 - The Flintstones
9:30 - The Jetsons
10:00 - 11:00 - The Completely Mental Misadventures of Ed Grimley
11:00pm - 12:00am - Toon Heads

Okay, so the variety of the olden days was only slightly more present, but there were classic cartoons from WB and MGM. (Unfortunately, they seem to have dropped off of the face of the earth. Thanks a lot.) The schedule is dominated by Hanna-Barbera programming, which, depending on your cynicism level, is pure fun or absolute torture. I lean toward the latter. For every "Flintstones", there are four "Kwicky Koalas" or (quite literally; trust me on this) four "Scooby-Doos". Just felt like sharing.

Who knows? This may yet be the post that gets me noticed.