The saga of Comic-Con 2010.

For the last couple of years, I would post the schedule for Comic-Con and generally bitch about not being able to go. Then, last December, my sister - a huge "True Blood" fan - apparently heard that there would be a "True Blood" panel at 2010's Comic-Con. She asked me if I'd like to go with her. Of course, I said yes.

As the Con approached, I was surprisingly mellow about the whole thing. Usually, I'm on pins and needles about such a thing. I can't explain it.

Not wishing to get bogged down in dishwater-dull details (like how part of the connecting flight to San Diego took an hour before finally taking off or how moronic safety procedures nearly kept me from missing my flight back), I'll just jump into it.

If you've never been to Comic-Con, let me tell you: the San Diego Convention Center is huge. Something like Comic-Con could only be held in a place like this.

I arrived late the first day (more dullness, like my inability to find the trolley station that would take me there), forcing me to miss the first 15 minutes of the Danny Elfman panel. This guy remembers it better than I do, but one of my favorite lines came when someone asked about the shortest amount of time Elfman's ever had to write a score (no more than 12 weeks and no less than 5): "If it wasn't for deadlines, I'd still be working on Pee-Wee's Big Adventure." Someone else asked my question (Is there a project you really regret not doing?), so I was forced to rephrase it (What director, living or dead, would you have loved working with? Answer: Hitchcock.).

Then, it was off to Sails Pavilion to snap pictures of visiting celebrities. Apparently, most of them charged for photos. Not being made of money, I had to do it on the fly. I managed to get shots of Mindy Sterling, Stephen Tobolowsky and Morgan Fairchild. Didn't get a shot of Short Circuit co-writer S.S. Wilson, but he offered me some words of encouragement in my (hopefully successful) writing career.

Sadly, getting caught up and overwhelmed (just what they tell you not to do at the Con) caused me to miss the Stan and Hunter Freberg panel. I retreated to the Exhibit Hall, which was chock-a-block with vendors selling everything from art books to movies to posters to apparel and overpriced food (which I sampled on Friday; I was hungry).

I stopped by the La La Land Records booth. MV Gerhard (the guy who runs the label) was there. He'd recognized my name from the many, many purchases I made from his fine company. I picked up some pretty nice titles: Batman: the Deluxe Edition (with some spectacular unreleased tracks), Predators, Speechless, Tango and Cash, Office Space/Idiocracy and Big Trouble in Little China. I also got a cute red bag to put the CDs in as well as a flyer advertising upcoming titles, such as John Morris' Clue (effin' finally!), and complete versions of Alien: Resurrection and Batman Returns (the latter of which I might pick up on principle; the packing of the existing version is a joke).

Then, I figured that I'd stop by Hall H and check out the Red panel. Simple, right? Wrong! You have to get there super-early to even have a chance to be turned away at the front door. Needless to say, despite the many awesome panels that were there, I never got into Hall H...which is, perhaps, just as well.

I decided to visit the neighboring Marriott Hotel, where they were holding screenings of various anime. After catching the tail end of an episode of "Mobile Suit Gundam 00", I waited for the real attraction: an episode of "Vandread". I discovered it some years ago. All you had to do was say ensemble cast of hot chicks and that would've been it, but it's a pretty engaging series.

Continuing with the (almost certainly coincidental) "Film music! OMG!" vibe, I headed for the Behind the Music: Composing for Sci-Fi, Horror and Fantasy Film & TV panel. The main attraction for me was that John Ottman and Michael Giacchino were on the panel. Even at panel's end, when they were trying to sweep everyone out for the next one, Ottman was nice enough to sign my copy of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Just before that, I asked Giacchino about the ice cream truck jingle in the surprisingly hilarious Land of the Lost. Two things: he was glad that someone asked about LotL and he confirmed that the jingle was, indeed, the theme from Up. Just one more reason to like that movie and its talented composer.

Adventures in Voice Acting Workshop was the last panel I attended on Thursday. It spelled out the challenges of dubbing an anime. Some of the people asked to give it a try seemed to take to it pretty well, though.

Friday seemed to be all about animation (with a couple of exceptions), starting with the "Ugly Americans" panel. It took a while to warm up to the show, but I think it now ties with "Adventure Time" as my favorite new animated show of the year. There was a preview reel for the next season as well as an animatic, both of which were entertaining. The panel was hilarious and surprisingly informative; would you believe that the peeping Randall scene in "Demon Baby" was based on an actual incident?

Then, I went to the "Neighbors from Hell" panel. Again, I didn't warm up to this show right off, but, in spite of its occasional tendency to get so carried away with shocking people that it forgets to be funny (cf. "Drawn Together"), it does deliver the laughs, particularly in the episode previewed (and which just aired Monday night on TBS).

Next stop: Nickelodeon: Penguins, Lemurs and Pandas, Oh My!. The table read for "The Penguins of Madagascar" centered around the penguins finding a comic book. Skipper (John DiMaggio, filling in quite well for Tom McGrath) considers the comic contraband, but the others can't resist playing hero. There was also a preview of an amusing, Johnny Cash-like number about a haunted bus. We also got to see a sneak peek of "Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness". The preview extolled the lush animation on a par with the movie. I can't describe what I saw (and I don't think anyone got it on video; more's the pity), but Po was played by a sock puppet, Shifu was a wind-up toy from a Happy Meal and Tigress was represented by a Pez dispenser. It was hilarious. Then, they showed us the real footage. It looked quite entertaining, topped off by a triple dose of the title sequence. I can't wait until it airs.

I'd heard that Thom Zahler, the creator of "Love and Capes", was in the Exhibit Hall. I searched the 2000 block several times over (and must've looked moronic to the people I kept passing)...only to find that there was another 2000 block (so very convenient). I met the man (very nice guy) and managed to fill in the missing issues I'd bought.

I also ran across a booth where this guy was selling bootleg DVDs of shows that were lost in the ether of apathy. I didn't purchase any, but two of them stuck out for me: a) "Jem: the Complete Series". I remember searching for the set last Christmas for my other sister, but, sadly, it was out-of-print and insanely expensive and b) "The Angry Beavers: the Complete Series". As a fan of the show, I'd been waiting for an official release with all the bells and whistles it deserves...but my mind drifted to the inexcusable hatchet job done by Nickelodeon and Amazon.com and for a glimmer of a fraction of a second, I considered buying it. It's not that I'm above seeking...shall we say, alternate means of enjoying the things I love (I owe a fraction of my music collection to this very line of thinking), but it'd feel weird having it in my collection.

I went to the Center for Cartoon Studies panel, but much like a slacker who picks up a college course because they like the name and not because they know jack about it, I was bored. Bored at Comic-Con. Who knew that could happen?

I'd hoped to get into the "Roger Corman" panel (and getting to hear from him and Joe Dante ought to be a treat for any fan of cult film), but it was sold out. However, there was a silver lining: I got into the panel for RiffTrax Live - Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett. Let me say this: if you go to only one panel at Comic-Con, make damn sure it's this one. Kevin, Mike and Bill were always on, and I mean always. From riffing on the educational short film (about buying food, if you can believe it) to responding to questions and suggestions for future Riffs. Among the suggestions: The Last Airbender (*coughunoriginalcough*), Zardoz ('Sean Connery in a diaper' was a clincher, but the film isn't widely available on DVD) and 2012 (Hell yes!).

Though fighting the effects of sleep, I soldiered on through the Worst Cartoons Ever, moderated by the estimable Jerry Beck. (Funny how he was responsible for bringing to the Con masses information of some of the worst cartoons ever and some of the best cartoons ever ("The 100 Greatest Looney Tunes Ever"). The cartoons, themselves ranged from unremarkable (something about a dog detective and his guitar-strumming chihuahua pal clearing a stork mailman's name) to WTF?! ("Mighty Mister Titan"; like Beck said, "Running in place never looked so stupid.") I would've stayed for "Spike and Mike" but who knows how long I could've stayed awake?

Saturday rolled around and wouldn't you know it? I nodded off more than once during the Writing Feature Animated Films panel. Still, the assembled talent had some good advice to impart...at least, once people started asking intelligent questions.

After chatting with Scott Thompson (one-fifth of "The Kids in the Hall"!) about his upcoming comic, I trekked over to the line for Ballroom 20. With luck, maybe I could get in to see part of the "Futurama" panel. To my elation, the line moved quite rapidly (making me wish I brought my CD player; "Success Montage" from Wanted would've fit so perfectly).

I managed to get a good seat and catch the last few minutes of the "Family Guy" panel, with Seth MacFarlane performing the song "Down's Syndrome Girl" (which he also wrote, apparently). Then, "The Cleveland Show" panel began. It featured an uproarious preview reel of the second season (Long ago, I wondered how it could get a second season when the first hadn't even premiered. I can wonder no more) and a table read of the show's second-season finale, set at Comic-Con. All I'll say is that it involves Cleveland's crappy comic, a dark secret from Donna's past and Robert Rodriguez.

Continuing in the 'pandering to the Comic-Con crowd' vein, the "Futurama" panel was next with an episode set at the Con. Fry's ridiculous comic "Deliveryboyman" (a copy of which I was lucky enough to obtain) was set to be previewed. Hopefully, this wasn't an exclusive and that the episode will be available to watch. The question I didn't get to ask was pretty much the same one I sat on at the "Ugly Americans" panel: Is it hard coming up with so many different types of characters for the show's universe?

As far as panels went, last on the list was Cartoon Voices. The highlight of the panel was the reading of "Cinderella" and I hope against hope that someone - anyone - got this on tape. Candi Milo puts on a tremendously thick Spanish accent for Cinderella. As the narrator, Tom Kane is told to read each of his lines in a different way, treating us to his takes on Morgan Freeman (awesome!), William Shatner and Paul Lynde (who knew?). The stepsisters are voiced by Fred Tatasciore (who, I swear, could be John DiMaggio's spiritual twin) and Jason Marsden (who sounded quite convincing; I'm a little surprised that he isn't pursued for more young women roles). April Winchell (seriously, where has she been?) brought Cruella's aristocracy and Peg's screaming to the role of the stepmother. Chuck McCann's take on the fairy godmother was gruffer (and funnier) than one would expect from the role.

Following that, I retreated to the Exhibit Hall. Not only could you pick up all kinds of stuff, but there's also people-watching. I was amazed at the commitment to cosplay. Sure, there were a bunch of superhero characters milling about, but there was also Nacho Libre (who I managed to snap a picture of), Gizmo (from Gremlins and I'd have gotten a shot of him...it, too if I was faster with my camera) and Pacha and Kuzco from The Emperor's New Groove (see previous excuse). And then there was Finn (from "Adventure Time"). Whether it was just the hat or the full costume, there were more people dressed as Finn than I've even met.

All in all, it was a dizzying, overwhelming, frustrating experience...and I cannot wait to go back next year.