Summer movie preview.

Well...let's do it again.

May

Thor - Much like how Will Smith was the king of the 4th of July, now Marvel is the king of the first weekend in May...or something. In any event, this adaptation of the comic (directed by Kenneth Branagh, of all people) looks fun and I can't wait to hear Patrick Doyle's score (honestly, I thought he'd be replaced).

Something Borrowed - Ginnifer Goodwin rekindles the flames of passion with Colin Egglesfield. Unfortunately, he's engaged to her good friend Kate Hudson. Sounds less strident than most Hudson comedies, but it's still nothing I want to see.

Jumping the Broom - You know how it is: two people fall in love, but their families don't get along for whatever reason, like class differences (such as here). A lot of fine performers here, but I'm not very interested.

The Beaver - In a role I'm sure he had to stretch for, Mel Gibson is a man who - after having lost everything, namely his mind - finds his way back to the light via a beaver puppet.

Bridesmaids - Kristen Wiig stars in (and co-wrote) this story of bridesmaids prepping for Maya Rudolph's wedding. Looks amusing enough.

Priest - From the director of Legion comes an adaptation of a graphic novel. Given certain moments in his films (namely the 'conducting while shit explodes' bit), I'm forced to ask: does this Scott Stewart guy not know the meaning of 'camp'? I mean, really.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Jack Sparrow is back, vying with Blackbeard (Ian McShane!) to find the Fountain of Youth. This promises to be the shortest Pirates movie yet, clocking in at a brisk two hours and twenty minutes. I liked the first three and I doubt the streak will be broken.

The Hangover Part II - The guys don't lose Doug, but they do lose Stu's fiancee's brother...in Thailand. Oh, the wackiness! I found the first film overrated, but this looks okay, though I fear that this will subscribe to the 'more is more' law of sequels (that used condom gag from the first movie still makes me cringe).

Kung Fu Panda 2 - And speaking of sequels... The continuing adventures of Po and the Furious Five. Can't wait.

Everything Must Go - Will Ferrell has lost everything: his job, his marriage, his home. What can he do? Looks to be a fascinating return to Stranger Than Fiction territory.

June

X-Men: First Class - The prologue to the X-Men saga set in the 1960s. From the director of Kick-Ass and Stardust, so my ass is as good as there.

Super 8 - In between Star Trek movies, J.J. Abrams hearkens back to the 1980s with a Spielbergian tale of mystery and wonder...or something.

Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer - A girl hopes to get the most out of summer, aided by her brother and her kooky aunt (Heather Graham). Not really my thing, but it looks okay.

Green Lantern - In brightest day, in blackest night, Ryan Reynolds embraces the lantern's light. Looks better and better the more I see of it.

Mr. Popper's Penguins - Jim Carrey surrounds himself with animals once again, but it's not an Ace Ventura sequel? There's a Chinese riddle for you.

Cars 2 - How can there be a sequel to Cars, but not to, say, The Incredibles? "Moichandising! Where the real money from the movie is made!" This looks like fun.

Bad Teacher - Despite coming from the jackholes behind Year One, this film looks hilarious. The cast of ringers (including Marshall from "How I Met Your Mother", Hot Fuzz's Eve Draper and Gibby from "iCarly") helps.

July

Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Given that Megan Fox is out and a new chick (a foreigner, much like the 'other' girls from the first two films) is in, this might be the first Transformers movie I pay money to see...emphasis on 'might'.

Larry Crowne - Tom Hanks returns to the director's seat (and comedy) with this story of a man who goes to college and falls for one of his professors (Julia Roberts).

Monte Carlo - Presumably a remake of How to Marry a Millionaire, with Selena Gomez and the crazy chick from The Roommate filling in for Marilyn Monroe and Lauren Bacall. No, I don't know how that works.

The Zookeeper - To win veternarian Rosario Dawson, titular zookeeper Kevin James gets schooled by the animals of whom he watches. Somehow, I think this Happy Madison production will be closer to Racing Stripes than Babe.

Horrible Bosses - Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day are at their wits end with their...unpleasant job supervisors. The script made me laugh, and hopefully, the film will follow suit.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 - The very last chapter of the series. That's all I got.

Winnie the Pooh - Yet another Disney feature about the silly ol' bear in the Hundred Acre Wood.

Captain America: the First Avenger - Marvel's last strike against our wallets this summer gives us the story of...the first avenger. News that Alan Silvestri was scoring this was just the antidote to this year's pathetically rigged Best Score Oscar.

Friends with Benefits - Even though it shares the same plotline and stars Jackie instead of Kelso, this is definitely not No Strings Attached.

Cowboys and Aliens - In yet another one of those cases of an inexplicable, obsfucating title, Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig go up against an unusual menace.

Crazy, Stupid, Love - Romantic drama starring Steve Carell, Julianne Moore and Ryan Gosling. From the directors of the underrated I Love You, Phillip Morris.

The Smurfs - The director of Scooby-Doo attempts to work the same magic on the little blue creatures with the maddening theme song. And Hank Azaria as Gargamel? Total Nightmare Fuel.

August

Rise of the Planet of the Apes - A prequel that posits how the damn, dirty apes came into being.

The Change-up - Michael Bluth switches bodies with the Green Lantern to pursue Olivia Wilde. 'Bout time we had another body-swap comedy, but imagine how much more interesting this would be if it was a gender-swap comedy.

30 Minutes or Less - A plot summary doesn't really do justice, so suffice it to say that a lowlife ropes a pizza delivery guy into his scheme of making it in the world. One of the most entertaining scripts I've ever read.

The Help - Emma Stone does drama as a young woman in 1960s Mississippi who befriends housemaids Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer. Peculiar release date for an awards-bait picture like this.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - The remake of the TV movie was pushed back some time. Who knows if this will start a trend? (TV-movies remade for the big screen, not movies being pushed back; that will always be in fashion)

Fright Night - Yet another horror remake, but this one holds great promise, if the script I read is anything to go by. Also, how can one do better than Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Evil Ed?

Conan the Barbarian - A new adaptation from the director of the remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th, starring some model and with music by Tyler Bates. I can't help but be unenthused.

Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World - Though I enjoy Robert Rodriguez's adult fare more than his kids' movies, maybe this latest chapter will turn out good. After all, there's a '4' in it.

Final Destination 5 - Yes, they're making it and it's in 3D. God help me, I'll probably end up seeing it.

Our Idiot Brother - In an interesting change of pace, Paul Rudd is the title character, a layabout who upends the lives of his photogenic sisters (Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer). Amusing trailer.