The poor man's Oscars.

Another year, another ceremony of diminishing returns. Let's do this:

best on-screen duo:
Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart, American Ultra
Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron, Mad Max: Fury Road
Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer, The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
John Boyega and Daisy Ridley, Star Wars: the Force Awakens
James McAvoy and Daniel Radcliffe, Victor Frankenstein

best action sequence:
leaving Mars, The Martian
going for a swim, Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
the helicopter fight, Spectre
the New York Comic Con brawl, Ted 2
the airport escape, The Transporter: Refueled


best comedic performance:
George Clooney, Hail, Caesar!
Ryan Reynolds, Deadpool
Jason Statham, Spy


best villain:
Adam Driver, Star Wars: the Force Awakens
Topher Grace, American Ultra
James Spader, Avengers: Age of Ultron
Corey Stoll, Ant-Man
Christoph Waltz, Spectre


best breakthrough performance - male:
John Boyega, Star Wars: the Force Awakens
Alden Ehrenreich, Hail, Caesar!
Shameik Moore, Dope
Milo Parker, Mr. Holmes
Ed Skrein, The Transporter: Refueled


best breakthrough performance - female:
Raffey Cassidy, Tomorrowland
Rebecca Ferguson, Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
Brianna Hildebrand, Deadpool
Daisy Ridley, Star Wars: the Force Awakens
Alicia Vikander, The Man from U.N.C.L.E.


best male performance:
Bryan Cranston, Trumbo
Matt Damon, The Martian
Samuel L. Jackson, The Hateful Eight
Ian McKellen, Mr. Holmes
Ryan Reynolds, Deadpool


best female performance:
Lily James, Cinderella
Jennifer Jason Leigh, The Hateful Eight
Melissa McCarthy, Spy
Helen Mirren, Trumbo
Charlize Theron, Mad Max: Fury Road


best fight:
Paul Rudd vs. Anthony Mackie, Ant-Man
Tyrannosaurus Rex vs. Indominus Rex, Jurassic World
David Koechner vs. the gingerbread men, Krampus
Daniel Craig vs. Dave Bautista, Spectre
Daisy Ridley vs. Adam Driver, Star Wars: the Force Awakens


best kiss:
Lily James and Richard Madden, Cinderella
Mia Wasikowska and Tom Hiddleston, Crimson Peak
Ryan Reynolds and Morena Baccarin, Deadpool
Nat Wolff and Cara Delevingne, Paper Towns
Dwayne Johnson and Carla Gugino, San Andreas


best movie:
Ant-Man
Deadpool
Inside Out
Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
Star Wars: the Force Awakens