Those darn Oscars.

Picture: The big prize. One can only assume who will emerge the victor here. La La Land.

Actor: The smart money's on Casey Affleck, unless there's a Ryan Gosling-shaped upset. I'll say...Affleck.

Actress: Will the Academy just give it to Emma Stone or will Isabelle Huppert (or Natalie Portman) swoop in for the kill? I dunno...Portman.

Supporting Actor: This one could literally go to anyone and I wouldn't mind. But I'll pick...Mahershala Ali.

Supporting Actress: While I'm sure she was phenomenal in Fences, Viola Davis is still owed an Oscar for The Help, and now's the perfect time for the Academy to settle this debt.

Director: Definitely Damien Chazelle. La La Land was impressively assembled.

Original Screenplay: It's tempting to just go with La La Land, but while I liked the film, the script wasn't that impressive, at least not as much as I'd imagine some of the other nominees being. I'm picking Manchester by the Sea.

Adapted Screenplay: Names out of a hat time: Lion.

Cinematography: Much as I'd love it to go to Lion (I have no reason not to trust that Greig Fraser's nod was richly deserved), Linus Sandgren truly impressed me with his work on La La Land.

Editing: The editing in La La Land was pretty snappy.

Art Direction: I want to say Passengers, here; the interior of the ship looked mighty impressive in the trailers.

Costume Design: This is one case where I'd be all too happy to see La La Land take the prize. It's been a good 22 years since a film that won this award was set in present day. It's about time.

Original Score: I could create my own 'Original Score' Category and fill it with different works five times over and not a one of this year's official nominees would make the cut*. Still, the best of a middling bunch would have to be the odd-yet-appealing Jackie followed by the Thomas Newman mixtape Passengers...but this is definitely going to La La Land.

Original Song: It's my guess that the people wanted to avoid incidents like Enchanted and Beauty and the Beast where one movie monopolizes the category, but that's a load a refried bullcrap; "You're Welcome" and "Shiny" were just as worthy of nominations as "How Far I'll Go". Still, as cool as it would be to nudge Lin-Manuel Miranda ever closer to an EGOT, it's gonna go to "Audition (The Fools Who Dream)".

Live-Action Short Subject: Names out of a hat time, again: "Mindenki". (Oh for the days when my cash flow was such that I could see these shorts and have an informed opinion on this category.)

Animated Short Subject: I thought "Piper" was immensely charming, so...let's say "Piper".

Animated Feature: I so want Laika to win an Oscar one day. Their movies are impressively crafted and emotionally rich and Kubo and the Two Strings is no exception. Even so, Zootopia was a case of 'right place, right time' and who am I to contravene that?

Documentary Short Subject: "Watani: My Homeland". Yeah, that sounds most like an Oscar darling, right?

Documentary Feature: It's possible that the Academy will award "O.J.: Made in America" to catch up with the Emmys, but I will go with "13th".

Sound Mixing: I'm going with Hacksaw Ridge, just because.

Sound Effects Editing: I imagine they'll want to give something to Arrival, so...

Visual Effects: I think this is a two-man race: eye-popping augmentations of reality vs. a whole jungle created from nothing. Doctor Strange.

Make-Up and Hairstyling: Suicide Squad, just to witness the firestorm of reactions, at the ceremony and online.

Foreign Film: German nominee Toni Erdmann seems to have a fair bit of buzz on it, enough that a remake is luring Jack Nicholson out of retirement. After reading a local review, I have only two things to say: a) maybe "South Park" was right about the German sense of humor and b) to paraphrase Orson Welles, "Get me a jury to prove why a story like this needed two hours and forty minutes to tell and...I'll go down on you." That said...let's go with A Man Called Ove.

Sunday night can't get here fast enough.

* - In case you're curious (and why wouldn't you be?)...

First tier:
Alice Through the Looking Glass, Danny Elfman
The BFG, John Williams
Doctor Strange, Michael Giacchino
Gernika, Fernando Velazquez
10 Cloverfield Lane, Bear McCreary

Second tier:
The Finest Hours, Carter Burwell
Gods of Egypt, Marco Beltrami
The Nice Guys, John Ottman and David Buckley
Star Trek Beyond, Michael Giacchino
The Young Messiah, John Debney

Third tier:
Finding Dory, Thomas Newman
The Huntsman: Winter's War, James Newton Howard
In a Valley of Violence, Jeff Grace
The Light Between Oceans, Alexandre Desplat
Now You See Me 2, Brian Tyler

Fourth tier:
Hail, Caesar!, Carter Burwell
The Magnificent Seven, James Horner and Simon Franglen
A Monster Calls, Fernando Velazquez
Storks, Mychael Danna and Jeff Danna
X-Men: Apocalypse, John Ottman

Fifth tier:
Elle, Anne Dudley
Kubo and the Two Strings, Dario Marianelli
Nocturnal Animals, Abel Korzeniowski
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Fernando Velazquez
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, Michael Giacchino