Yeah, forget what I said before about day trips to Toronto; people coughing into their hands then touching every fucking thing with the hands they just coughed in and people not even bothering to cover their mouths when they cough* have made me far too paranoid.

Still, there is a glimmer of hope. As seen on Twitter:

Masturbation boosts your immune system and raises your white blood cell count, helping you fight off infection and illness: https://t.co/NH8QmrLw7P pic.twitter.com/9XzaI5FnvJ

— Big Think (@bigthink) March 5, 2020

Would it surprise you to learn that I've been preparing for this my whole life?

* - If society breaks down because of governmental incompetence (and is this scenario really in doubt, at this point?), just think of me as Frank Grillo in the Purge sequels...or Frank Grillo in anything, really.