The worst o' "Kim Possible".

Now, there can't be good without evil. Light without darkness. Best without worst:

ALL THE NEWS

Now, when your villainess is an extreme stunts enthusiast who takes to uttering "Frrrreaky!" as a catchphrase, your episode is already in deep doo-doo, but, surprisingly, she's not the biggest problem with this time-waster, which not only pits Kim against the fraudulent rush junkie, amusingly (I admit) named Adrena-Lynn and well-voiced (under the circumstances) by "Saturday Night Live's" Rachel Dratch, but also rumors of her involvement with dum-dum football star Brick Flagg and (I hope you're sitting down for this, kids) aspiring school paperman Ron, who concocted the rumors to further his career! I'm not sure what possessed some of the first-season writers to, all of a sudden, forget that Ron was Kim's best friend, but, in all fairness, this episode was the lesser of two evils (keep reading).

DAY OF THE SNOWMEN

Given the basic premise (serial killer fuses with dangerous chemicals one wintry night and is reincarnated as...a killer snowman), Michael Cooney's Jack Frost films were inherently stupid, but the writer-director sought to up the stupidity quotient by having the killer spout sub-Freddy Kruegeresque one-liners. I'm not sure if wisecracks would've helped, but they certainly couldn't have done any more to damage this ridiculous 11-minute entry, where the Possibles and Ron battle mutant snowmen. There's a slight nod to an earlier episode, so this gets a point for continuity, but overall, it's a disaster. If you're going to go to the trouble of producing a parody of horror movies, don't forget to add laughs. Just ask the makers of Scary Movie 2.

THE FULL MONKEY

By the time this episode aired, there was a formula to this show - a very simple formula. It became overly simplified in this idiotic and irritating rip-off of the mediocre "Blush" (the first of two on this list!). Every scene seems like it was constructed by writers Thomas Hart and Zach Stones as a dare to change the channel: Ron freaking out (endlessly) about all things simian, Kim trying to conceal her regressing state, Ron's inability to tell the difference between his best friend and a monkey, the painfully sitcommy scenes with Josh and Mrs. Dr. Possible. If not for the amusing bits with Barkin, this would surely be the worst episode ever produced.

OVERDUE

I can imagine how the pitch for this episode must have went: "Hey. We should do something like 'A Sitch in Time' that had a bunch of different villains in it. And we should do something like 'Blush', you know, with Kim in danger and Ron coming to her rescue? Even better, we can put them together! Don't worry, we'll find a way to make it fit. Wait, we've already done another 'Blush'? Oh, yeah, 'Full Monkey'. Who's gonna notice?" Despite the scene with Duff Killigan and the return of the Wade-bot, this is hardly a must-see, exacerbated by a needless, completely unfunny outburst from Ron (you'll know it when you hear it) and a totally predictable ending. The fact that it's only 11 minutes long is scant consolation.

RETURN TO WANNAWEEP

As you can tell by the title, the Middleton cheer squad returns to the camp from "Sink or Swim". I have a question, though: Why?! Much like "Full Monkey", every moment in this unholy tribute to pointlessness feels like a dare to change the channel, if not throw things at the screen. No one in the episode does things because it's in their character; they do them because the script tells them to do these things. So, the name of the site of a creature's rampage was changed. Let's stay here and have a competition! Huh, Ron believes that the now-human Gil is up to something and tries to convince Kim. Why should she listen to her best friend who was absolutely right in "Sink or Swim"? Besides, she's got more important things to worry about, like rooming with Bonnie and sabotaging her before she sabotages Kim. Gil wants to be Ron's buddy. Nothing wrong with that, right? Oh, it turns out that Ron was right about Gill. Let's throw fruit at him! I swear, the characters in your average Friday the 13th sequel show more intelligence and believability. And, of course, there's the classic (as in Manos: the Hands of Fate classic) moment where Ron turns himself into a giant beaver to combat his mutated nemesis. Yes. That's what I typed. In short, "Return to Wannaweep" is to "Sink or Swim" what Speed 2: Cruise Control was to Speed. Actually, that's being a little unfair...to Speed 2. After all, that film's co-writer went on to do Catch Me if You Can and The Terminal. And what of Matt Negrete? He is now a writer-producer on "American Dragon: Jake Long". Ouch.

ROACHIE

There's a giant bug loose in town and one of the characters becomes a surrogate parent to it. As it turns out, it was the work of a raving loon who wants to take over using swarms of the overgrown insects. Wait, that was a "Teen Titans" episode! Sadly, it was also a "Kim Possible" episode. A very poor, 11-minute "Kim Possible" episode that assaulted the viewer with a stupid plot, ridiculous character actions (Ron running around like a little girl) and a villain that makes Fen ("Grudge Match") seem about as threatening as, at the very least, Duff Killigan. And I didn't even mention the attempt at creating a hot, happening new slang term (just like most of the third season's entries): Ron calls the bug-repulsed Kim a "roachist". Ha-HA! That's hilarious! Where's the bug spray?

RON MILLIONAIRE

As I've stated time and again, Ron is my favorite character given how much he reminds me of myself. One of the few things I honestly hate about this show are the moments when the narrative is brushed aside to pick on "me" (such as Kim's 'count to twelve' remark in "Naked Genius"). Unfortunately, picking on "me" is the narrative in this mind-boggingly stupid episode that takes a fantastic premise - Ron's naco royalties turn him into a materialistic snob - and puts holes in it through which you can drive a truck. Ron decides to carry his entire wad (99 million dollars, to be exact) on him, all the better to facilitate easy theft by ne'er-do-wells. After all, banks are so passe. Mr. and Mrs. Stoppable, who surely could've guided their son in his windfall, were nowhere to be found and the fact that the naco is still a good seller, implying further residuals, is never mentioned. Most inexplicable of all is that a Smarty Mart shopper like Ron would be so irresponsible with money. The few genuinely funny jokes (Iceland-Greenland, the birth of the naco) are swamped by how infuriated watching this episode (and talking about it, really) makes me.

ROYAL PAIN

Kim is running against Brick Flagg for class president when a mission pops up: to protect the uber-spoiled Prince Wally from an ancient prophecy which will mean his end, she brings him to Middleton, where he joins the school race. Four years on and this is still the worst "Kim Possible" episode ever, chock full of all the things that people could possibly dislike about the show: out-of-character behavior (Ron abandons Kim's campaign and friendship to support the prince in his candidacy), a lame plot and a character that makes you wanna reach into the screen and punch him out. Why this episode was produced is a mystery. Why the negatives haven't been destroyed (like those of the other entries on this list) is an even bigger one.

RUFUS VS. COMMODORE PUDDLES

Kim and Ron debate Drakken and Shego on the dynamics of the universe and whether or not there is life beyond that on Earth. Sure, this description is misleading, but it sounds a heck of a lot more interesting than 'Drakken plans to shrink himself and sneak into Area 51 to steal a UFO, but the not-so-good doctor's mutt Commodore Puddles gets too close to the malfunctioning shrink machine and becomes a giant'. To be honest, I'm not much of a Godzilla fan and that's certainly what they're going for here, to much lesser effect. Hearing R. Lee Ermey and seeing Ron pursue an interest in filmmaking are nice, but I was bored to tears. And the final gag is even more repugnant than the one that concluded "Crush". One wouldn't think that so much...nothing could be packed into 11 minutes, but...

TRIPLE S

Now, when I see Nicole Dubuc's name on an episode ("Job Unfair", "Go Team Go", "Bad Boy"), the chances are good to excellent that I didn't enjoy myself very much (though she does seem to be proving her mettle on "W.I.T.C.H."). This theory has never been more true than here, as half a dozen story threads, not a single one of them interesting, dangle around with little effect: Ron tries to gain attention by going out for sports, Kim travels to the X-Games, Ron stumbles (literally) into X-Games stardom, the X-Games gets some needless publicity. Worst of all, even the Seniors, living off the land after being bilked by a business associate, are brought down to the level of dullness. An exciting mid-air battle and some last-minute backstabbing are too little, too late. However, the title (though it drains away the mystery of the thief), derived from xXx, was a nice touch.

They sucked, but not hard enough: Bad Boy and Downhill