And the nominees are...

I mentioned not being able to trust the MTV Movie Awards again some time ago, and I stand by that.

Even so, the good times couldn't keep me away from creating my own ballot, hearkening back to the heyday of the mid-90s. Here are my choices for the 2008 MTV Movie Awards, which are a darn sight better than the real thing:

best on-screen duo:
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, Hot Fuzz
Bruce Willis and Justin Long, Live Free or Die Hard
Michael Cera and Jonah Hill, Superbad
Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, Sweeney Todd
Peter Dinklage and Patrick Warburton, Underdog

best action sequence:
The attack on Sandford, Hot Fuzz
The battle on the abyss, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
The chase through the alley, Death Sentence
The tunnel fight, Live Free or Die Hard
Wasting the Burmese army, Rambo

best comedic performance:
Mike Epps, Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins
Jonah Hill, Superbad
James Marsden, Enchanted
John C. Reilly, Walk Hard: the Dewey Cox Story
Katt Williams, First Sunday

best villain:
Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
Paul Giamatti, Shoot ‘em Up
Al Pacino, Ocean’s Thirteen
Michelle Pfeiffer, Stardust
Susan Sarandon, Enchanted

best breakthrough performance - male:
Michael Cera, Superbad
Jonah Hill, Superbad
Shia LaBeouf, Disturbia
Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Superbad
Andy Samberg, Hot Rod

best breakthrough performance - female:
Nikki Blonsky, Hairspray
Kat Dennings, Charlie Bartlett
Ellen Page, Juno
Sarah Roemer, Disturbia
Brittany Snow, Hairspray

best dance sequence:
“That’s How You Know”, Enchanted
“Good Morning Baltimore”, Hairspray
“Run Tell That”, Hairspray
Michael Cera, Superbad
the Black nightclub, Walk Hard: the Dewey Cox Story

best female performance:
Amy Adams, Enchanted
Helena Bonham Carter, Sweeney Todd
Keira Knightley, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Ellen Page, Juno
Queen Latifah, Hairspray

best male performance:
Russell Crowe, American Gangster
John Cusack, 1408
Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd
Robert DeNiro, Stardust
Denzel Washington, American Gangster

best fight:
Hayden Christensen vs. Jamie Bell, Jumper
Bruce Willis vs. Maggie Q, Live Free or Die Hard
Clive Owen vs. assassins, Shoot ‘em Up
Tobey Maguire vs. James Franco, Spider-Man 3
Charlie Cox vs. Mark Strong, Stardust

best kiss:
Amy Adams & Patrick Dempsey, Enchanted
James Marsden & Idina Menzel, Enchanted
Elijah Kelley & Amanda Bynes, Hairspray
Orlando Bloom & Keira Knightley, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Linguini (Lou Romano) & Colette (Janeane Garofalo), Ratatouille

best movie:
American Gangster
Enchanted
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Stardust
Sweeney Todd

I didn't have the heart to conceive of any nominees for "Most Desirable Male" and "Most Desirable Female", but this is a pretty good ballot, I think.