Mr. Cellophane

In a location adjacent to a place in a city of some significance, what comes out of my head is plastered on the walls of this blog.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Summer movie preview.


Iron Man 3 - Robert Downey Jr. reunites with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang director Shane Black for what promises to be the darkest Iron Man yet. Try and stop me from seeing it.

The Great Gatsby - The latest incarnation of Fitzgerald's tome, with all the glitz one would expect of the guy who directed Moulin Rouge.

Peeples - A Tyler Perry-produced take on Meet the Parents...yet, the film looks far more amusing than that would imply.

Star Trek Into Darkness - The crew of the Enterprise faces a devious foe. Seems like a spiritual evocation of Wrath of Khan...not a bad model.

Epic - A teenage girl is shrunk and finds herself in the midst of a battle between two factions. Pretty ambitious for Blue Sky Studios, but the comic relief seems a bit iffy. Also, what the hell is a 'Pitbull'?! (He - it? - is one of the voices.)

The Hangover Part III - Fuck you too, Hollywood!

Fast and Furious 6 - I guess as long as there are fancy cars and hot chicks, these movies won't end.

After Earth - Okay, wait, didn't we just see this movie, only it was called Oblivion? I guess it doesn't matter. Nine times out of ten, Will Smith summer movies are a license to print money.

Now You See Me - Magicians utilize their skills to pull off daring robberies. Neat trailer, impressive cast.


The Purge - Apparently, there's a brief period of time that will allow you to commit whatever wrongdoing you want and get away with it. I'm almost scared what I'd do in such a scenario.

The Internship - Following a downsizing, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson try to land an internship that could lead to a job with Google. The trailer was funnier than I expected.

Much Ado About Nothing - An interesting palate cleanser for Joss Whedon in-between Avengers movies.

Man of Steel - Proof positive that you can fail upwards in Hollywood, the director of Sucker Punch brings us a Superman movie.

This is the End - Playing themselves (I suppose), Seth Rogen, James Franco, Craig Robinson, Danny McBride and Jay Baruchel face the end of the world. Amusing trailer. Fun fact: this marks the directorial debut of Rogen and his writing partner, Evan Goldberg.

The Bling Ring - Apparently based on the true story of a group of young adults who shook down the homes of the rich and famous.

Monsters University - The prologue to Monsters, Inc. Here's hoping it can live up to its charming trailers.

World War Z - Deviations from the source material aside, this zombie action movie isn't really grabbing me.

White House Down - Two CGI insect movies. Two mall cop movies. Two 'fighting through an apartment block of killers' movies. Now, here is the second of the year's two 'a lone Secret Service agent must protect the President against bad guys' movies. This one stars Channing Tatum as the agent and Jamie Foxx as the President.

The Heat - The trailer states, "Bullock. McCarthy. Any questions?" Just one: where's the bloody script?


Despicable Me 2 - Having gone good, Gru is recruited to help take down a new bad guy (voiced by Javier Bardem).

The Lone Ranger - Even though it appears to be little more than Pirates of the Frontier (from the same director/producer combo), this adaptation of the legendary hero looks like fun.

Pacific Rim - Okay, I'm seeing Cloverfield, RobotJox and a few other titles that don't immediately spring to mind. Still, it's a Guillermo Del Toro movie. Some awesomeness is assured.

Grown Ups 2 - The usual gang of idiots returns...minus Rob Schneider? Scandalous!

R.I.P.D. - After losing his life, a cop is given a new assignment: rounding up stray spirits. Basically Men in Black with ghosts, but looks quite fun. From the director of RED, and speaking of which...

RED 2 - Having survived (for the most part) the 2010 onslaught of 'team of asskickers' movies, the team is back in action.

Turbo - A snail gains the ability to race in NASCAR. Seriously. Dreamworks surprised me with The Croods. Maybe, lightning will strike twice.

The Conjuring - James Wan returns to Insidious territory with this tale of married paranormalists assisting a haunted family.

The Wolverine - Logan's back and he's in Japan. Just like the tag at the end of X-Men Origins: Wolverine promised.


300: Rise of an Empire - I'm pretty sure this is a prequel. Not sure we need one, but here it is.

The Smurfs 2 - What's blue and silly and green all over? Wait, I think I told that wrong.

2 Guns - Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg are forced to work together when an operation goes south. Kind of like if Safe House were more Tango and Cash than 'srs bsnss'. Looks fun.

We're the Millers - A pot dealer's got one last job before he can retire: delivering a huge shipment from Mexico. However, he's gonna need a fake family as cover. The draft I read of this was hilarious. Hopefully, subsequent rewrites have kept the funny.

Elysium - Gee whiz, another movie where Earth is gutted in the future? Okay, Al Gore, we'll recycle already! Anyway, the man behind District 9 is back.

Planes - A Disney CGI feature with Dane Cook voicing the lead character. You're sure this isn't a direct-to-DVD movie? Really? Well, shoot.

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters - In recent years, I've developed a mild fascination with Greek mythology, so (for the sake of my own career) I'm hoping this does well.

Kick-Ass 2 - More ass to be kicked, more names to be taken. Awesome (red-band) trailer.

The To-Do List - A high school senior makes a list of things to do before heading for college? What kind of list? Well, replace 'things' with 'people' and you're on the right track.

Paranoia - To enjoy the good life at his new workplace, a young turk must do a little spying, but who can he trust? From the director of Legally Blonde and The Ugly Truth. No, really.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones - Looks like Screen Gems wants a piece of the Twilight pie, now.

The World's End - Apparently Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz were the first two-thirds of a trilogy and this feature is the final part. Can't wait.

One Direction: This is Us - Yet another concert movie. What can you do?

Getaway - A race-car driver must put his skills to the test to save his wife. This could go either way.


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