"If this town has a beach, why is everyone so pale?"

Ah, San Diego Comic-Con. Went there in 2010 and haven't been back since. At this point, the only way I could possibly go back is as a panelist. (I want desperately to go; if only the money were there.) Wouldn't it be so cool to have some kind of costume to walk around in and no one would be the wiser?

It seems that a number of studios are backing out of the race this year. I guess that'll just leave more time for comics and animated series. Sounds good to me.

Here is some of what I could look forward to this year (panels I would absolutely go to have been italicized):

Thursday:

- Behind the Music: Crime, Death and Resurrection (the first of the Con's four - four! - panels centered around composers; I'm familiar with only a small percentage of the names here, but still, TV music)
- Studio Production Chiefs Speak (if nothing else, the Q & A is gonna be sick: 'Why greenlight a movie without a complete script?' 'Wouldn't it be smarter to make the movie, then announce the release date?' 'When can we see a bigger ratio of original movies to adaptations?' and so forth)
- Open Road (this entry currently reads 'TBA', so I'll just look up some of what they have cooking on IMDb...Max Steel, The Nut Job 2, Snowden, Fifty Shades of Black...yeah, why don't we move on?)
- Return to Gravity Falls (the mistakes of "Northwest Mansion Noir" were ably compensated for with "Not What He Seems"; can't wait to see where the show goes from there)
- Science Channel: Raiders, Raptors and Rebels (a look behind the curtain at Industrial Light and Magic)
- Trailer Park (trailers are a good part of why I enjoy going to the movies and seeing them on a Hall H screen would be magical)
- Class of 1985: The Greatest Geek Movies (living vicariously through others is not a healthy way to live, but sharing in on the experiences of people seeing these movies is too awesome to ignore)
- 3rd Annual Musical Anatomy of a Superhero (film music panel #2, with a more familiar grouping of names - Beltrami, Tyler, Beck, Neely, Balfe and XL)
- DC Comics Too Tough Trivia: Catwoman, Joker and Robin 75th Anniversary Edition (it may very well be too tough for me, but a good trivia contest at a Con is too fascinating to resist)
- Animated Effects in Live Action (my mind is going right to the likes of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but I get the feeling it will be so much more)
- The TV Animation Story Editors/Head Writers Panel (there are some awesome cartoons on now, but I can't help but feel that most of them range from 'meh' to 'dear God, what is that thing?'; still, it'd be nice to get my foot in the door somehow)
- Hollywood Location Scouts (one can only wonder how particular locations are chosen in which to shoot movies - for example, my hometown was recently used for a shoot for a forthcoming action movie sequel)
- Fright Night: 30 Years of Screams (I caught the film on Netflix last year and found it a fun - if unscary - little feature; this would make an interesting companion piece to the 'Films of '85' panel)
- Creating Characters (an assortment of talents talk about how they create animated characters)
- Geek and Sundry's Trivia Game: How Geeky Are You? (I guess here would be as good a time as any to find out)
- Son of Name That Movie (again, trivia; I can't help but be reminded of the late thehorrorquiz.com)

Friday:

- Behind the Music: SyFy Thrills and Chills (even though it's another composer-centric panel - seriously, is this a record?! - I have no desire whatsoever to watch anything these guys are scoring)
- Cartoon Network's Regular Show and Uncle Grandpa (I've kind of fallen out of love with these shows, but the panel might be nice)
- Geek Wars: the Nerds Awaken (more trivia, more awesomeness)
- The Black Panel (hmmm, I would imagine that there is a shortage of Black nerds in popular culture; someone needs to fill the void...)
- My Little Pony (...yeah, I still watch...)
- Lucifer Pilot Screening and Q&A (the Devil moves to Los Angeles and helps solve crimes...sounds gimmicky as hell, but I would DVR the crap out of it)
- Nickelodeon's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (currently, the network's best show...and yet, they've been trying their damnedest to louse it up - Bebop...that whole 'farmhouse' arc)
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever and Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell (two amusing shows from basically the same creative team; you can't imagine how weirded out I was to find that Gary on '...Pretty Face...' was Ginsberg's annoying best friend on "A to Z")
- ILM 40th Anniversary (not seeing much difference from 'Raiders, Rebels and Raptors', but could be fun)
- [adult swim]: Mike Tyson Mysteries (this show is ridiculous, but amiably so)
- Disney XD's Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero and Star vs. the Forces of Evil (two charming Disney XD shows in one panel)
- Lost in Space: 50th Anniversary (not much of a fan, but what kind of nattering ninny would dare miss a panel like this?*)
- Marvel Television Presents (can't wait to hear about the next season of "Agent Carter")
- [adult swim]: Robot Chicken (still hit and miss...and still hilarious when it hits)
- Bob's Burgers (the show keeps getting better and better; I would love to see where it goes)
- More Greatest Movies Never Made: the Sequel (it's always fascinating to find out what could have been...but given a script review I read of "One Saliva Bubble", I'd say we dodged a major bullet)
- Spotlight on Jerry Beck (a look through the amazing career of this animation historian)
- The Visit (this film isn't on my must-see list, but I kinda feel sorry for M. Night Shyamalan, at this point; he's a talented guy, but in need of some self-awareness)
- The Writer's Journey: Breaking into Comics and Hollywood Scriptwriting (breaking into screenwriting...a perpetual goal of mine)
- Starz: Ash vs. Evil Dead (what more can be said but 'groovy'?)
- Going Back in Time: A Discussion and Q&A with the Filmmakers Behind the Back to the Future Documentary (with the recent news that there will not be a remake of Back to the Future as long as Robert Zemeckis is alive, I'm sure this look back at the film will get people intrigued)
- Starship Smackdown: The Geekspert's Court 007: Bond vs. Bond (a panel debating the strengths and weaknesses of the Bond movies...neat)
- Cartoon Network's Clarence and Friends Pajama Party (been getting into "Clarence" recently; likably goofy)
- This Looks Like a Job for... (I've been working on a 'what superpowers would I like to have?' post for what feels like a year - spoiler warning: shapeshifting - and this seeks to analyze how certain powers can influence career paths)
- Screen Junkies: Honest Trailers and Movie Fights Live (behind the scenes of Honest Trailers; I imagine I'd get the same sense I felt when I attended the Rifftrax panel five years ago)

Saturday:

- Let's Create a Cartoon Series (part improv session, part behind the scenes panel)
- The Last Man on Earth (not sure why people turned on this show, but I thought it was hilarious all the way through and I eagerly await a second season)
- Once Upon a Time (I can only wonder where the show will go after the cliffhanger)
- Warner Bros. Presentation (The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Pan and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice...quite the potential mixed bag)
- TV Guide Magazine: Fan Favorites (a sampling of stars from various shows giving the lowdown on what's in store for their respective seasons)
- Blindspot Pilot Screening and Q&A (interesting premise, but was it thought out enough to justify the execution?)
- Inside the Writers' Room: The Pilot: Part One (how to sell a TV pilot; I'm more of a features man, but, hey, could be educational)
- The Simpsons (you think that if enough attendees start a chant, Fox will get the hint and end this?)
- Sci-Fi/Fantasy Family Feud (so, will this be "Family Feud" or just an excuse to throw out the lewdest, most ridiculous answers like they think they're Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly on friggin' "Match Game"?)
- The Production Designer: Architect of Imagination (how does one design those amazing sets in the movies?)
- Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (so, this is really still happening; from the director of 17 Again and Charlie St. Cloud, so does this mean a Rolfe Kent score?)
- Cartoon Voices 1 (I wonder what classic story the selected cast will pervert this time...)
- Seth MacFarlane Animation Block (not even the promise of new "American Dad" footage would be able to wash away the toxicity of "Family Guy" footage)
- The Hateful Eight (Tarantino's Western...enough said)
- Spotlight on Stan Lee (the one at last year's Fan Expo Canada was entertaining enough)
- High Def Horror: Hammer Horror Meets Harryhausen (would be nice to watch some of these movies; I still maintain that I was born too late)
- Legendary Pictures (Warcraft, Crimson Peak and Krampus...wow)
- The Muppet Show Coming to ABC (I liked the recent movies and the preview made me laugh)
- Entertainment Weekly: Women Who Kick Ass (just like the title says; featuring Hayley Atwell and Kathy Bates...neat)
- Childhood Dreams Come True: Writing Licensed Characters (how to take on beloved characters in new media)
- Spotlight on J. Michael Straczynski (I'm willing to bet that he has some interesting stories to share)
- 20th Century Fox Presentation (TBA...just gonna check IMDb and see what could be talked up...The Martian, Fantastic Four, Kung Fu Panda 3, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse...the mind boggles)
- Inside the Writers' Room: The Series: Part Two (okay, the pilot has gone to series...now what?)
- We Are All Heroes: The Changing Landscape of Comics, Geekdom and Fanboy Culture (apparently, minorities are fascinated by geek culture...you don't say?)
- Warner Brothers Television and DC Entertainment Screening Block (a look at DC's many recent shows; been enjoying "Gotham" and I can't wait for "Supergirl")
- The Character of Music: Classic Horror Special Edition (the last and best composer panel, featuring Charles Bernstein, Harry Manfredini and Richard Band...needless to say, I'd wrestle my own mother to see this)

Sunday:

- Cartoon Voices 2 (another panel of voices)
- Illustrators: the Hidden Gems of Film and Television (creators of storyboards to help visualize the movies)
- Raising Future Fans: Geeky Parents and Children Speak Out (yeah, I'll probably never have children, but I would certainly want to raise them up right; i.e., like this)
- Where Do Ideas Come From? (how to advance your stories; I think of new ideas every day)
- DC Comics Too Tough Trivia & Pro/Fan Trivia Match (what can I say?; the bug bit hard at C2E2)

Once again, I'm truly envious of the people who get to go. I hope they have fun.

* - I'm really not much of a fan, but how could I resist a chance at a Dr. Smith-style alliterative insult?