Another year, another Oscar ceremony.

8:31 Hey, the guy from N*SYNC is singing. Good that he landed on his feet.

8:34 Hey, Michael J. Fox!

8:35 "I hope the other guys from N*SYNC were watching because there's a good chance they'll let you back in the band."

8:37 "When I first met Matt, I was the fat one."

8:42 Okay, what is with Halle Berry's hair?

8:44 A pretty neat montage of Best Supporting Actor winners.

8:46 Alicia Vikander presents the award.

8:50 And the Oscar goes to...Mahershala Ali (1/24)! A long way from Predators, that's for sure.

8:53 Aaaaand station break.

8:55 Aaaand we're back.

8:56 Kate McKinnon and Jason Bateman present Make-Up and Hairstyling. The Oscar goes to...Suicide Squad (2/24)! All I can say is ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha!

9:00 ...and now, Best Costume Design. The Oscar goes to...Colleen Atwood for Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Huh. Still, her designs are always impressive. I thought she'd have been nominated for The Huntsman: Winter's War.

9:02 "Mission: Impossible" leads us to another station break.

9:07 Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer and Janelle Monae introduce one of the subjects of their movie Hidden Figures, Katherine Johnson...

9:10 ...and present Best Documentary Feature. The Oscar goes to..."O.J.: Made in America".

9:14 Dwayne Johnson introduces the performance of Moana's nominated song, "How Far I'll Go" (but seriously, why was "You're Welcome" not nominated?).

9:22 The President of the Academy, Cheryl Boone Isaacs.

9:25 Movies are better with candy, and it's nice that the ceremony can get some refreshments without stopping the show dead (*coughpizzapartycough*).

9:27 Sofia Boutella and Chris Evans present the award for Best Sound Editing. The Oscar goes to...Arrival (3/24). Holy crap, really? I was just guessing.

9:30 Best Sound Mixing, now. The Oscar goes to...Hacksaw Ridge (4/24)! Maybe, I should start playing Cash 4 Life.

9:32 "S.W.A.T." leads to another station break.

9:35 Huh. Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann.

9:36 Vince Vaughn tells of the Governor's Awards, lifetime achievement Oscars going to Lawrence of Arabia editor Anne V. Coates, casting director Lynn Stalmaster (it truly threw me when I found out that Stalmaster was a guy), documentarian Frederick Wiseman and Jackie Chan!

9:39 A neat montage of Supporting Actress winners.

9:40 Mark Rylance presents Best Supporting Actress.

9:44 The Oscar goes to...Viola Davis (5/24). Frak yeah!

9:48 "The Heat is On" leads us out.

9:53 Jimmy Kimmel plans to surprise a tour bus full of tourists.

9:55 Charlize Theron talks about what The Apartment means to her...

9:56 ...and she gets to present with Shirley MacLaine the award for Best Foreign Language Film. The Oscar goes to...The Salesman from Iran.

10:00 Dev Patel introduces "The Empty Chair" from "Jim: the James Foley Story", performed by Sting.

10:06 The tourists are inside the building.

10:07 Hailee Steinfeld and Gael Garcia Bernal present the aware for Best Animated Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."Piper" (6/24). A very charming short.

10:10 Best Animated Feature is up next. The Oscar goes to...Zootopia (7/24). I think we all saw this coming.

10:13 The stars of Porn for Soccer Moms present Best Production Design. The Oscar goes to...La La Land. First award of the night, but is it the last? Fun fact: David Wasco also designed the movie I referred to in the first sentence (thank you, Letterboxd).

10:17 The tourists' prank is coming to fruition.

10:26 Talking to movie fans the world over.

10:29 Felicity Jones and Riz Ahmed present the award for Best Visual Effects. The Oscar goes to...The Jungle Book. You could probably call the award 'Most Visual Effects', in this case. After all, the other nominees had tangible sets and performers.

10:33 Seth Rogen talks about Back to the Future.

10:34 Rogen and Michael J. Fox present the award for Best Editing. The Oscar goes to...Hacksaw Ridge.

10:38 Jimmy Kimmel clowns around with the little kid from Lion. Really? That kid saw Hacksaw Ridge? I heard it was a little violent.

10:43 Salma Hayek and David Oyelowo present the award for Documentary Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."The White Helmets".

10:47 And then, Live-Action Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."Sing". I wonder how many people will hear about this second-hand and get pissy that the singing animal CGI feature won an Oscar?

10:51 John Cho and Leslie Mann tell of the Science and Technology Awards.

10:53 I wonder how many snowflakes are het up about the brief clip from last year's Ghostbusters?

10:54 "Shaft" and another station break.

10:56 Javier Bardem waxes nostalgic on The Bridges of Madison County (!).

10:57 Bardem and Meryl Streep present the award for Best Cinematography. The Oscar goes to...Linus Sandgren for La La Land (8/24). I'd like to think that it's not the film gaining traction for a sweep, but a genuine recognition of true skill.

11:01 Kimmel brings out his 'Mean Tweets' bit.

11:04 Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone present the nominated songs from La La Land, performed by fellow La La Land star, John Legend.

11:13 Samuel L. Jackson presents the award for Best Original Score. The Oscar goes to...Justin Hurwitz for La La Land (9/24).

11:16 Scarlett Johansson presents the award for Best Original Song. The Oscar goes to..."City of Stars" from La La Land. Right movie, wrong tune.

11:20 Jennifer Aniston introduces the 'In Memoriam' montage.

11:27 Jimmy Kimmel talks about We Bought a Zoo (!!).

11:29 Ben Affleck "and guest" present the award for Best Original Screenplay. The Oscar goes to...Kenneth Lonergan for Manchester by the Sea (10/24)! Quite a ways from The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

11:33 Amy Adams presents the award for Best Adapted Screenplay. The Oscar goes to...Barry Jenkins and Tarell Alvin McCraney for Moonlight. Huh.

11:36 "Fame" and one more station break.

11:41 Halle Berry presents the award for Best Director. The Oscar goes to...Damien Chazelle for La La Land (11/24)!

11:46 A montage of Best Actor winners.

11:47 Brie Larson presents Best Actor. The Oscar goes to...Casey Affleck for Manchester by the Sea (12/24).

11:53 A montage of Best Actress winners.

11:54 Leonardo DiCaprio presents the award for Best Actress. The Oscar goes to...Emma Stone for La La Land. Wow.

12:02 Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway present the award for Best Picture.

12:07 The Oscar goes to...Moonlight?!

What a strange night. Well, that's that.