Mr. Cellophane

In a location adjacent to a place in a city of some significance, what comes out of my head is plastered on the walls of this blog.

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Fall movie preview.


Colombiana - (I know this came out on August 26th, but I was too lazy to amend the 'summer movie preview' post. Plus, it was once scheduled for September, anyway, so...) Zoe Saldana is an assassin trying to draw out and eliminate the men who murdered her family. Not-bad Luc Besson thriller plays sort of like a sequel to Leon: the Professional, which I have yet to see. Good action scenes (especially the opening chase) and fine acting by Saldana and Cliff Curtis.

Shark Night 3D - Sharks attack college kids at a resort. You want me to draw you a map? Despite the PG-13 (!) rating, this looks like goofy fun.

The Debt - Three Mossad agents find that the target they pursued in the past is still roaming around. Quite the turnaround from John Madden's Shakespeare in Love.

Apollo 18 - So, someone had the bright idea to combine Apollo 13 with Paranormal Activity? See, this is why I'm kind of glad they scrapped the space program.

Contagion - The writer, director and star of The Informant! reunite for something not quite as lighthearted: the story of a viral epidemic that could destroy the human race. Looks far more chilling than any horror film coming out.

Warrior - Joel Edgerton and Tom Hardy are brothers and MMA fighters. Weird that one could make an inspirational story from MMA, but never count out the director of Miracle.

Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star - The latest Adam Sandler-produced...thing sees Nick Swardson tracing his lineage as son of two porn stars.

Drive - Ryan Gosling. Stuntman by day. Getaway driver by night. Been hearing good things about this movie.

I Don't Know How She Does It - Sarah Jessica Parker strives to balance career and family. Looks okay for what it is.

Straw Dogs - Despite the respect I have for James Marsden, this remake of the 1971 Dustin Hoffman revenge movie does not strike me as a good idea.

Moneyball - The Social Network, mark two. (Hey, blame the trailer and Aaron Sorkin's credit for this conclusion.)

Abduction - Fresh off of some vampire franchise, Taylor Lautner stumbles onto his picture at a missing persons website. Looks exciting.

Machine Gun Preacher - Based on the true story (!) of a man (Gerard Butler) leaving behind his reckless ways to help the underprivileged in Sudan.

Killer Elite - Jason Statham and Robert De Niro take on Clive Owen. I believe 'Awesome' is the word I'm searching for here.

Dolphin Tale - Ashley Judd and Morgan Freeman (and composer Mark Isham) are together again, though not for a Kiss the Girls follow-up. It's the story of a dolphin and the people it touches...or something.

50/50 - Joseph Gordon-Levitt gets cancer. His pal, Seth Rogen, tries to help him through it. Good trailer.

Dream House - Given that the whole flipping movie has been spoiled in the previews, who knows if this story of Rachel Weisz and recent real-life hubby Daniel Craig (lucky dog) beset by supernatural happenings will find an audience.

What's Your Number? - Anna Faris cycles through her many ex-boyfriends to figure out which one is right for her. I like the cast, but the R-rating seems iffy (I'm not too keen on most romantic comedies, certainly not if they have to go for the gross-out gusto).

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil - It may not even get to my neck of the woods, but it's nice that this horror-comedy is finally seeing a release.


Real Steel - Hugh Jackman takes on the Lee Marvin role (it was a "Twilight Zone" episode based on a Richard Matheson story) as a trainer of a robot fighter. It looks somewhat better than it sounds.

The Ides of March - Ryan Gosling again. (Who does he think he is, Jason Statham?) Here, he's helping to get George Clooney (also the director/co-writer) get elected President.

Footloose - This remake of the 1984 movie looks quite charming and a marked change from Craig Brewer's previous work. Seriously, how does one go from Black Snake Moan to this?

The Thing - Less a remake of the Carpenter film than a prequel. Still, it could be good, though I doubt the CGI will make anyone forget Rob Bottin's jaw-dropping practical effects.

The Big Year - Owen Wilson, Jack Black and Steve Martin (awesome!) in this story of bird-watchers (what?).

Trespass - Joel Schumacher reunites with Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman in this story of a couple besieged by home invaders.

Paranormal Activity 3 - In the 80s, Paramount had the Friday the 13th franchise and now, they have this. Whatever.

The Three Musketeers - Paul W.S. Anderson's career is made of schlock. Hopefully, this is closer to fun schlock (Mortal Kombat, Death Race) than stupid schlock (pretty much everything else he's done).

Red State - Kevin Smith tries for horror. Between this and Cop Out, I don't think I care for the direction in which his career is going.

In Time - The writer of Gattaca and The Truman Show brings us a future where time is (literally) valuable.

Anonymous - This film posits the theory that Shakespeare plagarized his plays. Directed by Roland Emmerich (!). Huh. Maybe, he made 2012 for the opportunity to make this. There's no other explanation.

Johnny English Reborn - I'd rather a Blackadder movie, but this follow-up to the surprise international hit looks pretty funny.


A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas - Holy crap. I was against this project at the outset, but the trailer (see it in 3D at all costs!) made me laugh. Hard.

Puss in Boots - An animated prequel (it was bound to happen) where we learn about the charming feline. Looks pretty good.

Tower Heist - Employees of a hotel (including Tugg Speedman, Ferris Bueller and Precious) get cleaned out by a Bernie Madoff-type, so they enlist a criminal (Eddie Murphy, who looks alarmingly like his brother Charlie now) to help get him back. Looks enjoyable.

My Week with Marilyn - Kenneth Branagh is Laurence Olivier (dreams do come true) to Michelle Williams' Marilyn Monroe in this film about the making of 1957's The Prince and the Showgirl.

The Immortals - Before he plays Superman, Henry Cavill is enlisted by the Gods to save Greece. Is it just me, or is this movie trying way too hard to be the Jennifer Jason Leigh to 300's Bridget Fonda?

J. Edgar - Leonardo DiCaprio embodies another influential, controversial 20th century figure. Directed by Clint Eastwood.

Jack and Jill - And you thought that "South Park" episode was blowing smoke. If only...

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 - Um...

Happy Feet 2 - Never got around to seeing the first movie, so I might give this one a miss, despite the eclectic voice cast.

Hugo - A Martin Scorcese film for the whole family. No, really.

The Muppets - Again, do you need a map? Funny pair of trailers.

Piranha 3DD - The first film cranked the 3D gore and insanity to 11. Maybe, they'll shoot for '20' this time.

The Descendants - Alexander Payne returns with this story of a man (George Clooney) trying to put his life back together.

Arthur Christmas - Aardman returns for this holiday story. The trailer, though not as unwatchable as those for Gnomeo and Juliet or Despicable Me (the early one), was underwhelming, not an adjective I thought I'd ever associate with the studio.


The Sitter - R-rated pisstake of Adventures in Babysitting with Jonah Hill in the Elizabeth Shue role. This might end up being the Norbit to Hill's Dreamgirls (i.e. Moneyball).

Young Adult - The writer and director of Juno return with this story of a novelist (Charlize Theron) going back to her hometown. Patton Oswalt's in it, so, that's good.

New Year's Eve - Garry Marshall follows up Valentine's Day with another star-studded romantic comedy centered around a holiday. If that's what he wants...

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - Holmes takes on Professor Moriarty. Would've loved to see Brad Pitt as the Professor (remember when that was considered?), but I'm sure Jared Harris will do a great job.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy - Gary Oldman searches for a Soviet spy amongst an impressive supporting cast.

Carnage - A four-character drama from Roman Polanski with the four actors (Jodie Foster, John C. Reilly, Christoph Waltz, Kate Winslet) all Oscar winners or nominees.

The Iron Lady - Meryl Streep is Margaret Thatcher. That's all I got.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked - Again, um...

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Interesting trailer, but will it be enough to entice me to see it? Who knows?

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol - I still think they should've opted for the subtitle The Search for Mike Hunt, but in the hands of Brad Bird, this fourth installment could be something special.

The Adventures of Tintin - Spielberg does motion-capture in this adaptation of the books. One of the writers is Edgar Wright (!).

We Bought a Zoo - Matt Damon acquires a zoo in the newest film from Cameron Crowe. If nothing else, it should have an interesting soundtrack.

The Darkest Hour - ...or Skyline: the Smart Version.

War Horse - Spielberg's second movie of the year takes us to World War I, where a young man tries to save his beloved horse.



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