Free Comic Book Day '26.

In the midst of a seeming desert of disappointment comes an oasis of hope: the first Saturday of May.

This year was different. Now, any comic book reader worth their salt has their own list of titles they hope to pick up. For the first time in I genuinely don't know when, I was able to pick up every single comic I wanted to get. However, there seemed to be a curve ball this year: a handful of titles I hadn't planned on to be given away on what was called Comics Giveaway Day. I don't get it, either.

As I have the last few years, I picked my prospective titles up from three different stores.

The first store - Empire Comics - is where the Comics Giveaway titles blindsided me. Still, as long as they're there...and there seemed to be the unconscious theme of 80s television at play, here:

Garfield - The two main stories of this comic were penned by Mark Evanier, the main writer of my beloved "Garfield and Friends"*, so objectivity may be in short supply here. "Collectors Classic" sees Nermal finding a rare comic book in the trash after being tossed in by Garfield. Some fun lines here, especially the meta bits in the opening dream sequence. The ending struck me as a little cynical, but Evanier has probably forgotten more San Diego Comic-Cons than most people will ever attend, so I think he might know a little of what he speaks. "Big Mouse Meal" could've easily been an episode of the show as a mouse named Big Mouse tries to get Garfield to eat him, but Garfield will pretty much eat anything but mice. The ending involving two cats without any Garfield-like compunctions about their diets was amusing. The third story, despite reminding me of the mercenary movie from two years ago, was cute enough. 
* - Of course, I read the comic in the voices of the show's cast. I'm no savage.

The Greatest American Hero - Ralph tries to reconcile with his con man son, who finds Dad's tales of superheroics to be nonsense and a bad influence on his daughter (and Ralph's grandchild). It had the feel of an episode of the show and the use of William Katt's likeness (note the special thanks at the beginning) helped to legitimize this as a continuation. One of the comic’s cleverer bits is getting around the inability to obtain Connie Sellecca‘s likeness for a billboard of her character, (Mayor!) Pam Davidson.

Jem and the Holograms/My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic - As it turns out, I'd encountered the comics in this flip book double before. The Jem comic about the new origin of the band was the opening of the comic collection I'd purchased years ago (and had to gift to my sister as money was not strong enough to buy her another present). Likewise, the MLP comic where the Mane Six rescued the Cutie Mark Crusaders from Queen Chrysalis...not that I watched that show. (The shorter stories that kicked the book off were news to me, though.) 

I had managed to get my car back, but its highway days are long behind it, so I stuck to the main streets, taking quite a while to get to my second destination - Queen City Bookstore. As ever, on the outside, there were discounted comics and local funny books (and their artists), but what I wanted was inside:

Aquamanatee #1 - Aquaman is in need of a sidekick to help him fight against an onslaught of robotic krill and whatever sank the ship carrying them. He happens upon a manatee who may or may not have superpowers. Very much a comic for younger readers (why, yes, there is a poop joke), but - like the titular pun - cute enough.

Dungeon Crawler Carl #0 - Ah, that's the stuff. Within the first few pages, the unlikely hero sees the head of his elderly neighbor at his feet, so clearly, the person who wrote this isn't screwing around. Carl finds that the world has been decimated. His only companion: his ex-girlfriend's stubborn cat. His only chance for survival: an underground, Dungeons and Dragons-style game show. Thankfully, this story was leavened with a sense of (dark) humor; I straight up chuckled at the reaction to his stripped-down garb. I know I'm supposed to be saving my money, but it would be delinquent not to follow this comic to the end.

Inanna the Name She Lost #0 - An all-powerful goddess called upon in times of war somehow washes up in modern-day San Francisco. Unusual but not uninteresting comic that (unlike the previous one) stops shy of exploring the craziness yet to come. I have to say that the letter from the creator (who shares a name with the goddess...hmmm) put this over. I would like to know more.

Toybox 2026 - One of those assortment comics that inevitably finds its way into every FCBD. The stories ranged from sweet (Pooh Bear Adventures, Zor) to mildly amusing (Hero Hiro, Kung Fu Legume, Squish and Squash) to interesting (Sister Powers, Robot + Girl) to misfired (Grubbs) to WTF?! (Junior High Horrors).

The distance to my next stop was much closer than the last one, but the wrong turn I took had me thinking I was starring in my own remake of Exit 8. Thankfully, the GPS on my phone pulled me from that hole. I stopped at the store for some salty snacks before ending up at my third store - Kingpin Comics. Unlike the other places, there doesn't seem to be a limit on how many comics you can pick up, which helped me complete my journey:

Flash Gordon #1 - When we last left our hero, he was imprisoned on Planet Death. Mongo has been destroyed. Flash's beloved Dale Arden has been taken captive. Can Flash break loose and put things right? The dark tone and black-and-white milieu may turn some readers off, but the twist at the end makes it worth the while.

Gun Honey Doubles Down #0 - A weapons expert needs to get a gun to a Russian agent so he can wipe out a powerful player. This one sounded more fun than it plays. This was the ham and cheese sandwich of the day: not flashy, but it got the job done.

Keenspot Spotlight 2026 - Another comic anthology, but with the theme of monsters. Kids These Days is too stream of consciousness despite an amusing opening gag. Lucky's Tales packs a lot of detail and interest in two pages, while Holy Brawl mistakes a splash page for teasing a story. Otter Squad tells just enough to peak my interest. Greenhorns is the longest (and best) of the bunch, though hopefully, a longer version won't collapse under the weight of the many characters it introduces.

The Nice House on the Lake #1 - A group of strangers with a vague connection to each other are picked to live in a luxurious lake house and find out what happens when the world stops being real and starts getting screwed up. It took a couple of reads to really absorb what was going on, but it fascinated me.

Terrorbytes #1 - A tech mogul has created a new device that allows dying people to experience their last moments in more pleasant circumstances than normal...but at what cost? Cards on the table: I don't think it'd be worth it. The punchline at the end is suitably grim, though I'm still not sure of the significance of the framing device.

By this time, I was feeling good about myself, enough to actually spend money on a comic.

DuckTales Valentine's Day Special - Scrooge wants nothing to do with Valentine's Day. Magica de Spell wants his number-one dime. Magical flowers may put a crimp in both of their plans. I imagine that people fascinated by the idea of Scrooge and Magica being friendly (if not more) will take to this more than most people. A little talky, but quite charming with some fun cameos (one of them honestly made me lol).

From then, I grabbed lunch from a hot dog joint (with dill pickle aioli dipping sauce for the fries!!) and headed home. Not much I can count on anymore, but it's nice to know that some things will never disappoint me.

The ad wizards at Nike were right.

I’m working on a post to cover all the comics I got from Free Comic Book Day. Yes, two weeks after the fact. Sue me. But this pretty well speaks to my ultimate point of this post.

In the midst of that journey to collect all the comics I wanted, it was pretty cold outside, so I had put on a light pleather jacket. I got a compliment from one of the employees of the first shop I went to.

On my way to the donut shop after I collected most of my wares, I opened the door of my car and got out, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention because the corner of the door just ripped a big chunk out of the jacket.

Needless to say, I had to spend the rest of the day with a piece of fabric flopping off of my jacket. It was very dehumanizing, to say nothing of embarrassing.

Thankfully, there was a way to correct this situation. I looked up 'how to patch a polyester leather torn coat' online and the simplest method - and shortest YouTube video - basically involved a needle and thread. Simple, yet effective.

I bought a spool of black thread ($.99 at Michael’s) and got to work while listening to my Deluxe Edition soundtrack of Eye of the Needle. Yes, my brain does make obvious connections. Would you like to fight about it?

It didn’t turn out flawless, but still, the situation was resolved.

The larger point being that I get way inside my own head about things that need to be done in my life, when all I need to do is just do it. Don’t think. Just get it done and the details will work themselves out later.

Really hope this can work out with everything that needs to be done in my life.

An offer I can’t refuse?

For the last few weeks, I'd heard about this gimmick that one of my local theaters was trying out called Secret Cinema, where you go to the theater and you have no idea what you’re about to see until it unspools. After getting out of Mortal Kombat II earlier that day (don’t even start), I figured that it sounded like fun...but it seems like a kind of thing I’d be better off spending money on if I have a job.

Curiosity got the better of me last night and I said I'd check it out. I thought about buying my ticket online, but only because I thought it would be sold out at that point, but just as I was taking a chance on this movie so too would I take a chance on buying my ticket in person and eliminating the service fee. Worked out pretty well as there were only a dozen other people at the screening.

The movie ended up being The Godfather.

I'd have bet money on something more obscure, but, hey, 1972, absolute classic, very enjoyable and three hours long. I couldn't help but think to myself, 'you know, there are American classic films they could’ve shown for their first night that run less than two hours'. This put me in a no-win situation which I really didn't care for: the website said they offered passes for anybody who walked out within the first 15 minutes of the movie, so I could save some money and get a free screening in the future...but if I walk out on The freaking Godfather, I’m the schmuck of all time. Even more, my weekly unemployment stipend only allowed for so much and I got a ton of bills I have to pay and the people billing me could give half a shit if you don’t have the money to pay them off, but that’s a post for another time.

Seriously, if this job situation doesn’t shake itself out. I really don’t know what I’m gonna do, but it’s not gonna be pretty.

102 candles.

Because I think we could all use a break from my ever more depressing job situation news. I wouldn't be against making this a national holiday.

Deuce! Deuce!

Don’t wanna go into too much detail on what’s been happening in the last couple weeks. I really thought I’d have good news here, but let me just say this one itty-bitty little thing as a desperate individual with a ton of bills to pay: if wanting scammers who offer up fake jobs - mainly by sending you giant checks for supposedly vital work stuff that get your important credit accounts shut down - to be raped in prison every single day for the rest of their worthless lives is wrong, I see absolutely no point whatsoever in being right.

Yeah, about all that stuff I said in the last post…

The job is as far as I can tell still technically mine, but there is a lot standing in the way of my happily ever after:

- It’s unfortunate that I had to reach back to my customer service job to teach me anything, but in utilizing Western Union, I was taught that structured transactions over the course of one day - or, in my case, over consecutive days - can cause one’s bank account to be frozen. Nothing gets in, nothing gets out and you’re shit out of look if you wanna know how much you got left, but I’m pretty lucky in this regard; at least, I’m sure I have a pretty hefty chunk left over.

- Actually, I called my bank and I'm in the goddamn red. Whether or not this particular job situation is a scam as the woman on the phone theorized, a good job should take you out of debt, not put you further in, so I'm not sure if this is a business I want to be a part of. I'm applying elsewhere. People shit talk LinkedIn, but I'm fucking desperate.

- Without a functioning checking account, I can’t make a down payment on a new car (to say nothing of the automatic payments that are due), which pretty much means I’m still stuck with my rusted out shit box in need of a) an oil change, b) new brakes and c) a myriad of other issues that can’t be fixed with a simple reset of an engine light.

- The recruiter I’m talking to about all of this just now tried to tell me that this has never happened with any prior applicants to this job, which leads me to one of two disturbing but distinctive scenarios: a) he’s lying to me or b) he’s fucking lying to me and that’s just not cool.

- All this stuff may be settled by the time April rolls around or it may not, but that’s just too long to wait for a new job, a new paycheck, a new car, a new everything.

- Once again, the universe treats the piddling little stuff that I ask for as the hardest shit in the fucking world to deliver. I don’t think anybody screaming the N-word in my face for ten minutes on end could be more offensive than that.

- At this rate, I might actually end up eating dog food.

Close a door, open a window.

As ever, Conan O’Brien did the best he could, but between a number of the wins and a number of the quote-unquote "comedy" routines, last night's Oscars were something of a shit show. I actually kind of wish I skipped over to "American Dad". Weird to think they aired a new episode last night and despite my worries about being back on the Fox farm after seeing the big city lights of TBS, this new season is crushing it. 

But there is still joy in Mudville, folks. The unemployment situation I was staring down the barrel of has resolved itself. Paying off my bills for the foreseeable future and - more importantly - being able to get a new car to replace a rusted out shit box whose brakes could literally go at any second...well there’s only one thing to say: