102 candles.

Because I think we could all use a break from my ever more depressing job situation news. I wouldn't be against making this a national holiday.

Deuce! Deuce!

Don’t wanna go into too much detail on what’s been happening in the last couple weeks. I really thought I’d have good news here, but let me just say this one itty-bitty little thing as a desperate individual with a ton of bills to pay: if wanting scammers who offer up fake jobs - mainly by sending you giant checks for supposedly vital work stuff that get your important credit accounts shut down - to be raped in prison every single day for the rest of their worthless lives is wrong, I see absolutely no point whatsoever in being right.

Yeah, about all that stuff I said in the last post…

The job is as far as I can tell still technically mine, but there is a lot standing in the way of my happily ever after:

- It’s unfortunate that I had to reach back to my customer service job to teach me anything, but in utilizing Western Union, I was taught that structured transactions over the course of one day - or, in my case, over consecutive days - can cause one’s bank account to be frozen. Nothing gets in, nothing gets out and you’re shit out of look if you wanna know how much you got left, but I’m pretty lucky in this regard; at least, I’m sure I have a pretty hefty chunk left over.

- Actually, I called my bank and I'm in the goddamn red. Whether or not this particular job situation is a scam as the woman on the phone theorized, a good job should take you out of debt, not put you further in, so I'm not sure if this is a business I want to be a part of. I'm applying elsewhere. People shit talk LinkedIn, but I'm fucking desperate.

- Without a functioning checking account, I can’t make a down payment on a new car (to say nothing of the automatic payments that are due), which pretty much means I’m still stuck with my rusted out shit box in need of a) an oil change, b) new brakes and c) a myriad of other issues that can’t be fixed with a simple reset of an engine light.

- The recruiter I’m talking to about all of this just now tried to tell me that this has never happened with any prior applicants to this job, which leads me to one of two disturbing but distinctive scenarios: a) he’s lying to me or b) he’s fucking lying to me and that’s just not cool.

- All this stuff may be settled by the time April rolls around or it may not, but that’s just too long to wait for a new job, a new paycheck, a new car, a new everything.

- Once again, the universe treats the piddling little stuff that I ask for as the hardest shit in the fucking world to deliver. I don’t think anybody screaming the N-word in my face for ten minutes on end could be more offensive than that.

- At this rate, I might actually end up eating dog food.

Close a door, open a window.

As ever, Conan O’Brien did the best he could, but between a number of the wins and a number of the quote-unquote "comedy" routines, last night's Oscars were something of a shit show. I actually kind of wish I skipped over to "American Dad". Weird to think they aired a new episode last night and despite my worries about being back on the Fox farm after seeing the big city lights of TBS, this new season is crushing it. 

But there is still joy in Mudville, folks. The unemployment situation I was staring down the barrel of has resolved itself. Paying off my bills for the foreseeable future and - more importantly - being able to get a new car to replace a rusted out shit box whose brakes could literally go at any second...well there’s only one thing to say:

Ah, to have 'Oscar-winner' in front of your name...

Less than a week to go, so I may as well get to work. Last year, I went 7 out of 23. I'm sure I can do better this year.

Picture: Again with the ten nominees. That's the way it is, I suppose.
What would I have added to the category: Mickey 17 and Weapons.
My pick: Sinners, if only to convince Warner Bros. that stories made by, for and about people of color have worth, something their (possibly, but hopefully not) imminent bosses will not embrace even with loaded guns pointed at them.

Actor: No matter how right or wrong Chalamet's comments may have been, they do not erase the performance of his career. Period. There is a strong chance at a sympathy vote for Jordan. Di Caprio was good, but...he already has an Oscar. Didn't see The Secret Agent or Blue Moon.
Who would I have added to the category: Brendan Fraser (Rental Family), Paul Walter Hauser (The Luckiest Man in America), Robert Pattinson (Mickey 17) and Channing Tatum (Roofman)
My pick: Michael B. Jordan (but only if people are as sick of Chalamet as Twitter claims they are)

Actress: Didn't see a single one of these movies, so I have no dog in this fight...but unlike opera and ballet, I do care about cats. Eat shit, Jessie Buckley*.
Who would I have added to the category: Kirsten Dunst (Roofman), Chase Infiniti (One Battle After Another) and Sophie Thatcher (Companion. Yes, she was that damn good.)
My pick: Rose Byrne

Supporting Actor: Perhaps, the most difficult category of the night. Haven't seen Skarsgard's work and Penn was fine, but his wasn't even the best performance nominated for this movie in this category. That leaves three. Dangit. Couldn't we get a tie for this?
Who would I have added to the category: Mark Ruffalo in Mickey 17. I am dead fucking serious. Also, Jeffrey Wright for Highest 2 Lowest and Michael Cera (for The Phoenician Scheme, to be specific).
My pick: Delroy Lindo.

Supporting Actress: I don't know. Maybe, I should see Sentimental Value one of these days. It must be something if it got two nominations in this category.
Who would I have added to the category: Gwyneth Paltrow (Marty Supreme; for real, I am gobsmacked she was left out), Regina Hall (One Battle After Another; likewise) and Glenn Close (Wake Up, Dead Man).
My pick: Wunmi Mosaku.

Director: Another solid lineup.
Who would I have added to the category: Honestly, I can't think of anyone.
My pick: Ryan Coogler.

Original Screenplay: It Was Just an Accident sounds rather depressing and Blue Moon sounds like a filmed play topped off with cutesy cameos. Seriously, what went wrong here?
What would I have added to the category: Rental Family and Weapons. There. Much nicer.
My pick: Sinners (Much as I enjoyed Marty Supreme, it's about an unlikable schlemiel stepping on everyone in his path. I don't know if voters in this category would respond to this.)

Adapted Screenplay: Generally, a pretty expected lineup. Still, being nominated should be prize enough. Adapting someone else's material cannot be easy.
What would I have added to the category: Almost enough to fill five more slots. Highest 2 Lowest. Mickey 17. Roofman. The Roses. 
My pick: One Battle After Another

Cinematography: Nothing here to object to, I think.
What would I have added to the category: I think Weapons was well-shot.
My pick: Marty Supreme

Editing: Not really anything to say here, which is unfortunate given that I hope to edit the movies I make. What can I say?
What would I have added to the category: Highest 2 Lowest. Also, Roofman. God's sakes, it deserved something.
My pick: Sinners

Production Design: Nothing to argue here. Good list, if somewhat predictable.
What would I have added to the category: Mickey 17 and The Running Man. And Fantastic Four. That nomination should've been a slam dunk.
My pick: Frankenstein

Costume Design: Pretty solid grouping of nominees, though I still think the Avatar nod is some bullshit.
What would I have added to the category: I don't know. Maybe, The Housemaid? Oh, wait. The Phoenician Scheme. Shit, everyone forgot that movie.
My pick: Sinners

Original Score: Of course, I'm gonna have an opinion on this. Very middlebrow a lineup. That's the problem with this category and film scoring as a medium today: Nobody wants to even attempt coloring outside the lines for fear of getting into trouble. If no one experimented in film music, Goldsmith's Planet of the Apes would be merely decent instead of memorable and awesome (and, hey, it was an Oscar nominee!)
What would I have added to the category: Nicholas Britell's Jay Kelly (because the music was that damn good) and Brian Tyler's Nuremberg (because he's long overdue major award recognition). Outside the official shortlist, there's Michael Giacchino's The Fantastic Four: First Steps, Howard Drossin's Highest 2 Lowest (seriously, you haters can all blow me) and Alan Silvestri's Play Dirty. A brand new category unto itself.
My pick: Frankenstein

Original Song: Just another group of songs. Unlike years past, though, I'm struggling to think of a tune that was unfairly cheated here.
What would I have added to the category: See previous statement.
My pick: "Golden", I guess.

Animated Feature: As of last weekend, I saw all five nominees. I genuinely can't remember the last time that's happened before watching the ceremony. The lineup is pretty strong, but...
What would I have added to the category: The Dreamworks features Dog Man and The Bad Guys 2 to sit in for the somewhat pretentious foreign entries. And how did The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie and Predator: Killer of Killers escape any notice?!
My pick: KPOP Demon Hunters. The hype is real, y'all.

Visual Effects: What I wouldn't give for a nominee in this category that didn't rely primarily on CGI. I know it could never happen at this point, but there's no law against dreaming...yet.
What would I have added to the category: What wouldn't I have added? Captain America: Brave New World, The Fantastic Four: First Steps, Final Destination: Bloodlines, How to Train Your Dragon, M3GAN 2.0, Mickey 17, A Minecraft Movie, Paddington in Peru (I had to look it up. None of these movies have ever been nominated in this category. Open the schools!), Predator: Badlands, Superman, Thunderbolts* and Until Dawn. Oh, and Snow White, just to troll people.
My pick: Jurassic World: Rebirth, if only to throw off any haters (you know who you are) upset at a potential Sinners streak.

Make-Up and Hairstyling: Pretty solid lineup here, even if I've never heard of one of these movies and couldn't sit through another even if you paid me. I'll leave you to figure out what's what.
What would I have added to the category: Weapons. For real, how do you beef that? Oh, and The Toxic Avenger. Yes, really.
My pick: It's got to be Frankenstein, full stop.

Casting: The first year for this category. Sucks that it had to be introduced the year after Saturday Night. For real, that was spot-on.
What would I have added to the category: Companion, How to Train Your Dragon, The Life of Chuck, The Luckiest Man in America, Mickey 17, Roofman and Weapons. 
My pick: Sinners

Animated Short Subject: "Retirement Plan". It just sounds nice.

Live-Action Short Subject: Didn't really watch any of these, so I looked up the plot summaries online. "The Singers" sounds sweet enough, if lightweight, but among the others, the least malign of them - "A Friend of Dorothy" - would be my choice.

Documentary Short Subject: "Perfectly a Strangeness" and no, I will not elaborate.

Documentary Feature: No John Candy: I Like Me. This show is a farce. It seems the trend is current events, but I would think that they'd award something a bit uplifting. Come See Me in the Good Light.

International Feature: Sirat sounds the most interesting (and least depressing) of the bunch.

Sound: F1, if only because it's the least insulting category for the film to be nominated in.

And that's my personal ballot. Hell, I'm not gonna have a job in a few weeks. Make me an Academy member! Watch movies? Fuck yeah! That's a living!

* - This comment was made in jest. I'm sure she's a lovely person, overall.

Oh, yeah, the Oscars.

Hey. Better late than never.

- With the newly added Best Casting category, Sinners is the most nominated (16) movie of all time. It’s very rare that my favorite movie of the year is so honored, so there’s extra reason to celebrate.

- Damn shame that both of DreamWorks' animated features were shut out. Either The Bad Guys 2 or Dog Man would've been a worthy nomination. Arco was fine, but a little too derivative of E.T. and Hayao Miyazaki's oeuvre to really hit the mark.

- After so many potential nominees for horror movies get passed over, Amy Madigan scores one for Supporting Actress for Weapons. I suppose it was asking a little too much to have the film be nominated in categories beyond that, but, hey, it is what it is. Credit where credit is due: it was a terrific performance.

- Though not the lineup I'd have chosen, this year's Original Score category is perfectly cromulent; no Babylons or Social Networks to offend the ear.

- Speaking of music, apparently that is the same Nicholas Pike nominated for Best Original Song that works with Mick Garris. Who knew?

- A whole lot of first-time nominees for acting: Jessie Buckley, Rose Byrne, Jacob Elordi, Elle Fanning, Michael B. Jordan, Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas, Delroy Lindo, Wagner Moura, Wunmi Mosaku, Renate Reinsve, Stellan Skarsgard and Teyana Taylor.

- Some unfortunate snubs to speak of: Highest 2 Lowest, Mickey 17 (yes, I'm serious), The Phoenician Scheme and Rental Family.

- Okay, did Avatar: the Thingy of Whatsis honestly get a nod for Costume Design? A lot of those outfits were created in a computer and this is really in contest with designers and their teams who made outfits by hand? Paul Zastupnevich wept.

- March 15th. Beware the Ides of March.

Deal of the Century (Arthur B. Rubinstein)

Arms dealer Eddie Muntz (Chevy Chase) has been doing pretty well, but an opportunity falls into his lap for the score of a lifetime: a military plane to a South-of-the-border country...with a few bugs. No one seems to like this movie, least of all its star and director (William Friedkin!!!), but while it's unlikely to be confused with Dr. Strangelove, this satire manages some hearty laughs.

Between this, WarGames and Blue Thunder, Arthur B. Rubinstein seemed to be the go-to composer for 1983's ‘military hardware gone berserk’ movies. (Do you think he’d have also done Best Defense if it hadn’t pushed back to 1984?) Rubinstein creates a number of fascinating elements, from a 'doubt' motif for Gregory Hines' born-again pilot (“Hobbling to the Rescue”, “Bickering”) to a slinky love theme (“End Credits”) as well as flavorful, exotic cues (“San Miguel”) and a quietly noble march theme for Chase's Eddie (“Ed's Got a Plan”, “Finale”).

Deal of the Century
composed & conducted

by

Arthur B. Rubinstein

1. Main Title 0.15
2. Tankbuster Ad 0.47
3. San Miguel 1.15
4. “Oh my, oh my.” 1.45
5. Successful Sale 0.28
6. “...a sorry thing.” 0.19
7. Bearing Arms 1.20
8. The Peacemaker 0.50
9. Ed's Got a Plan 0.33
10. The Airport 0.57
11. Babysitting 1.17
12. Not Under Control 0.36
13. Harold's Affairs 1.38
14. “I believe you.” 1.28
15. Ray Reminisces 0.48
16. Bickering 0.26
17. “A little touch-up.” 0.39
18. Regret 0.10
19. Cram Session 0.44
20. Good Night 0.34
21. Beddy-Bombs 1.00
22. Re-Gifting 0.21
23. Arms for Peace ‘84 0.20
24. “Shine” 2.50
25. A Gift to Kathy 0.50
26. Making a Date 1.26
27. Baptism 0.33
28. Hobbling to the Rescue 1.06
29. Peacemaker Chase 2.34
30. Planes in Flames/Finale 1.29
31. End Credits 1.51

Here's the “End Credits” cue: