Mr. Cellophane

In a location adjacent to a place in a city of some significance, what comes out of my head is plastered on the walls of this blog.

Friday, October 09, 2026

“You know how it feels when McDonald's says you're not good enough to make the french fries?"

Behold, my latest foray into seeking employment (yes, I lost that awesome job I had last month...or, to be more correct, it was stolen from me):




Not sure why I had to be so truthful in the section about assessing my personality. I’ll know to lie my ass off if (God forbid) I find myself unemployed this time next year.

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Tuesday, September 08, 2026

Having a TIFF.

As an extra effort to punish myself (and, by extension, you all), I have been purusing the website for the Toronto International Film Festival and checking out which movies I would go to if the money was there.

September 9th
Hope - 6:30p - TIFF Bell Lightbox

September 11th
Le Faux Soir - 2:45p - TIFF Bell Lightbox
Girl Group - 5:30p - Roy Thomson Hall
Everybody Wants to F*ck Me - 9:30p - VISA Screening Room at the Princess of Wales

September 12th
Purgatory - 3:20p - Scotiabank Theatre
The Surgeon - 8:30p - Royal Alexandra Theatre

September 13th
Your Mother Your Mother Your Mother - 11:15a - TIFF Bell Lightbox
Evil Genius - 2:00p - Scotiabank Theatre
Back in Black - 5:45p - Scotiabank Theatre 
Vintage Violence - 9:15p - Scotiabank Theatre

September 14th 
In Waves - 11:15a - TIFF Bell Lightbox
A Talent for Murder - 1:30p - Roy Thomson Hall
Iron Boy - 3:35p - Scotiabank Theatre
Alpha Gang - 5:30p - Scotiabank Theatre
Strangers on a Train - 10:00p - Cinema Park at David Pecaut Theatre

September 15th
The Unknown - 3:15p - TIFF Bell Lightbox
The Surgeon - 9:20p - Scotiabank Theatre

September 16th
Once Upon a Time in Harlem - 10:00a - TIFF Bell Lightbox
The Only Living Pickpocket in New York - 5:30p - Roy Thomson Hall 
Alice: Pioneer of Cinema - 9:35p - Scotiabank Theatre

September 17th
Light Pillar - 3:30p - Scotiabank Theatre
Ten Dark Women - 5:30p - TIFF Bell Lightbox
Crystal Lake - 9:30p - Scotiabank Theatre

September 18th
Tangles - 12:15p - Scotiabank Theatre
Arrested Memory - 3:30p - Scotiabank Theatre
I Play Rocky - 5:45p - TIFF Bell Lightbox
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory - 10:00p - Cinema Park at David Pecaut Theatre

September 19th
Julian - 12:30p - Scotiabank Theatre
Muyi - 3:30p - Scotiabank Theatre
Half - 6:15p - Scotiabank Theatre
God Bless You, Mr. Kopu - 9:40p - Scotiabank Theatre

September 20th
Wild Horse Nine - 10:15a - Scotiabank Theatre
Rogue Trooper - 1:15p - Scotiabank Theatre
Ancestors - 3:45p - Scotiabank Theatre
Carrie - 7:00p - Scotiabank Theatre

Someday, a crazy schedule like this will be a reality. I promise.

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Monday, August 31, 2026

Funemployed no more.

It’s a situation too familiar to a number of people in real life, to say nothing of television writers: someone is tired/bored with the situation they’re currently in and idly wonder to themselves, ‘Gee, things would be so much nicer if I had a little more time in my life’. (The first thing to come to mind: that episode of “Hey Arnold!” where Harold gets expelled from school.) Then, you get the time and things are fun, at first, but then come the questions: what can I do when I have nothing to do? How long is the money I have supposed to last? How much longer will it be before I get more? What am I supposed to do with this time alone? I don't have any friends!

Well, until a couple weeks ago, this was me. Gaspingly, desperately trying to find a new job after cruelly getting bounced from my old (and cushy) one. Having to take handouts from the state to retain some semblance of solvency.

Then came the 17th. I had an interview for a position. It would be an in-person job at a bank as opposed to a remote one I greatly wanted. No problem. I was on the verge of begging for a customer service job like the one that enshackled me for over a decade, but this one involved interacting with co-workers instead of the general public, so I'll take it!

The staffing service required quite a bit of nonsense: fingerprints, a background check and references (thankfully, I was able to get apparently glowing notices from my former co-worker and supervisor, securing my position), so it seems like I’m all set.

The night before what I assumed was my first day, I get a call from a member of the staffing service. As there were a number of people hired for the business, they were hoping to have us all start at the same time. Well, that time is here. The day after tomorrow (Wednesday), I start on a new job. Regular paychecks. Billing companies getting off my back. Feeling like a man again. An indescribable feeling when these things are taken from you.

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Saturday, August 29, 2026

Bob Summers (1943-2026)

A brief rant before I get into the obituary proper: why is it that news of people passing away comes so late from time to time? Make-up maestro Screaming Mad George apparently passed away in February of this year, but his family needed time to grieve before making this news widely known. I suppose they had their reasons, but I’m sure his fans and former collaborators felt a little put out in having this news sprung on them. I’m sure it wasn't the same case with composer Bob Summers who - according to a YouTube comment! - passed away on August 2nd, but it seems like there’s so much news being thrown at people that important bits like this can’t help but get lost in the shuffle. (It’s a cruel joke of fate that so many talented, life-enriching 80-something individuals have shuffled off this coil in the last few weeks, yet the most life-enriching - as in the one who will enrich us all when he’s finally dead - continues to linger.)

A self-taught musician, arranger and performer whose ultimate film and TV credits ranged from “The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams” to The Boogens, One Dark Night, Eliminators and something called The Malibu Bikini Shop. A Merchant-Ivory film, no doubt. (As a Richard Band fan, I also knew Summers for his orchestration work on Metalstorm: the Destruction of Jared-Syn.) However, for a generation of people, one credit looms largest of all.

As a 14-year-old discovering “Sailor Moon”, I was struck by a number of elements: the animation (much faster than anything I had experienced from American shows), the cheesy lines (part and parcel, one supposes, of any anime dub, but these went up to eleven) and “the boom anime babes that make me think the wrong thing” (thank you, Barenaked Ladies), but what stuck with me most - and what continues to even three decades later - is the music. The main theme was taken directly from the original anime as I would come to learn with the far more faithful - but not as involving - Viz dub*, but Summers’ embellishments and original compositions really made the underscoring for that show shine. (Even people who hated the dub give props to the music. Enough said.)

Whether in a high-energy, go-getter setting for Serena running late for school, a lush waltz for the dressier moments or a tense, creepy variation for the suggestion of a Negaverse monster, Summers clearly had fun playing with the original melody. His original compositions were quite enjoyable, as well, from the heroic fanfare for Tuxedo Mask (a marked improvement on the character’s theme in the original anime) to the mysterioso idea for Luna and the mystical, Arabic-flavored melody for the Moonlight Knight. When he released the tracks a few years ago, it was like being transported back to high school.

Especially for 90s kids, it goes without saying that he will be missed.

* - I can think of no better comparison than the 1995 and 2021 film adaptations of Mortal Kombat. Sure, the newer one is more faithful to the original source material, but that doesn’t always make for the most gripping entertainment. Sometimes, screwing around with the original yields better results.

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Thursday, August 27, 2026

Toronto in 2026. Wouldn’t it be nice...

...if I were going? Spending a few days up there in the North?

It’s the last Thursday of August. In a just world, at this moment in time, I’d be flipping through the soundtrack section of Neurotica Records…but of course, we don’t live in a just world. I just don’t feel like telling a story or tszujing it up with some sort of gimmick. If money weren’t an issue, this is how I would’ve spent Fan Expo weekend in Toronto this year.

Thursday

6:00 wake up
6:10 get dressed
6:20 final check of luggage
6:30 depart home
6:45 breakfast at Donut Kraze
7:15 drive to Peace Bridge
7:40 cross border into Canada
8:20 board bus to Burlington, then train to Union Station
11:20 arrive Union Station
11:40 lunch at Nom Nom Nom
12:15 touring museums
3:15 go to BMV Music and Books
4:00 check into Airbnb
5:10 go to Neurotica Records
6:00 arrive at CNE
6:45 CNE cuisine for dinner
8:30 return to Airbnb
11:00 bedtime

Friday

6:30 wake up
7:45 take a shower
8:10 get dressed
9:00 depart Airbnb
9:10 get snacks from Shoppers Drug Mart
9:30 take bus downtown
10:00 breakfast from Egg Club
10:40 arrive at Fan Expo
11:00 Conversations with Jim Cummings - Room 206
12:00 Exploring the Magic of Friendship with Shannon Chan-Kent - Room 701
1:00 take train to Yonge Station
1:15 lunch at Chungchun
1:45 take train to Union Station
2:10 return to Fan Expo
2:25 roam around the North Building
3:45 Voices of Gaming: From Booth to Boss Fight - Constitution Hall (yeah, I don't like video games, but this may be the closest I get this weekend to having panels with William Fichtner and Michael Ironside)
5:00 Strength and Respect: A Q&A with Mr. T - Constitution Hall
5:45 depart Fan Expo
6:10 take bus to Revue Cinema
6:45 Coyote v. Acme @ Revue
9:00 dinner from Bank Bao
9:45 return to Airbnb
11:00 bedtime

Saturday

6:30 wake up
7:30 take a shower
8:00 get dressed
8:30 depart Airbnb
8:40 get snacks from Shoppers Drug Mart
8:45 take bus downtown
9:05 breakfast at Sunset Grill
9:50 arrive at Fan Expo
10:00 Yabba Zonkers Zoinks! Podcast - Community Zone
11:15 Saturday Morning Cartoon Fun and History! - Room 705
12:05 depart Fan Expo
12:15 arrive at Union Station
12:30 lunch from Paramount Fine Foods
12:50 return to Fan Expo
1:00 roam around the floor of the South Building
2:00 The Mummy with Oded Fehr - Room 714
3:00 Toronto's Revue Cinema: Cult Movies Talk and Trivia - Room 705
4:00 Mark Hamill Live - Constitution Hall (yes, I believe I could get in)
5:00 continue South Building runaround
6:00 depart Fan Expo
6:20 take bus to Sonic Boom
7:10 dinner at Betty's (on Queen East; yes, we're doing this)
8:25 return to Airbnb
10:30 or 11:00ish bedtime

Sunday

6:30 wake up
7:30 take a shower
8:15 final check of luggage
8:30 head out of Airbnb
9:00 breakfast from Saving Gigi's
9:30 return to Airbnb
9:40 enjoy savory breakfast
10:15 check out of Airbnb
10:35 take bus to Eaton Centre
11:05 arrive at Eaton Centre
11:15 some light shopping
11:55 take train to Union Station
12:10 lunch at Patties Express
12:45 board train to Burlington, transfer to bus for Niagara Falls
3:20 arrive at Niagara Falls GO
3:30 pick up dinner from Quiznos
5:00ish return home

I’m as surprised as you are that I’m blowing off Sunday at Fan Expo (and, by extension, Monday entirely), but the John Cena panel is one of those special advanced ticketing deals. Yeah, he’s worth it, but I’m not made of money.

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Monday, August 24, 2026

Summer under the Stars - my way.

Every August, I am inexorably drawn to watching Summer Under the Stars on Turner Classic Movies. However, there are quite a few names that I would love to see in future months. If anything, this might make a nice how-to guide if the people in charge consider them:

Fred Clark
6:00a - Boys’ Night Out (1962)
8:00a - It Started With a Kiss (1959)
9:45a - Miracle in the Rain (1956)
11:45a - Bells Are Ringing (1960)
2:00p - Flamingo Road (1949)
3:45p - So You Want to Be an Actor (1949)
4:00p - Ride the Pink Horse (1947)
6:00p - White Heat (1949)
8:00p - Sunset Boulevard (1950)
9:45p - Cry of the City (1948)
11:30p - A Place in the Sun (1951)
1:45a - Auntie Mame (1958)
4:15a - The Court-Martial of Billy Mitchell (1955)

John McGiver
6:00a - Period of Adjustment (1962)
8:00a - Who's Minding the Store? (1963)
9:45a - Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation (1962)
11:45a - Love in the Afternoon (1957)
2:00p - Lawman (1971)
3:45p - Mame (1974)
6:00p - The Spirit is Willing (1967)
8:00p - The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
10:15p - Midnight Cowboy (1969)
12:15a - Fitzwilly (1967)
2:00a - Man's Favorite Sport? (1964)
4:15a - Take Her, She’s Mine (1963)

Robert Morley
6:00a - You Will Remember (1941)
7:30a - Quentin Durward (1955)
9:15a - Hotel Paradiso (1966)
11:00a - Sinful Davey (1969)
12:45p - Beau Brummell (1954)
2:45p - The African Queen (1951)
4:45p - The Alphabet Murders (1966)
6:15p - Theatre of Blood (1973)
8:00p - Topkapi (1964)
10:00p - Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? (1978)
12:00a - Beat the Devil (1954)
1:35a - The Dot and the Line (1965)
1:45a - The Loved One (1965)
4:00a - The Young Ones (1961)

Terry-Thomas
6:00a - Our Man in Marrakesh (1966)
7:45a - The Mouse on the Moon (1963)
9:15a - How Sweet It Is! (1968)
11:00a - tom thumb (1958)
12:45p - The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm (1962)
3:15p - The Green Man (1956)
4:45p - Vault of Horror (1973)
6:15p - I'm All Right Jack (1959)
8:00p - It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963)
11:15p - How to Murder Your Wife (1965)
1:15a - The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
3:00a - Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972)
4:30a - Too Many Crooks (1959)

Who knows? Maybe next year.

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Sunday, July 26, 2026

I don't want to say I'll probably die at one of these festivals, but...

...I guess I just did. 

Given the ground crumbling beneath my feet, I needed the Taste of Buffalo more than ever this year. For the most part, it was a fun experience. Let’s get into it.

Saturday

My first dish: OG Lito from Street Cravings. When I first saw this on the menu, I was a little apprehensive; what the hell even is Lito...



...but then I looked it up and took a chance. I’m glad I did. This started things off on a very good note.

After that, I decided on some Smoked Deviled Eggs from BW’s Barbecue.


The breading (?) stuck to my fingers, but if you're gonna lick something off of your fingers, what better place? This reminded me of how seldom I eat deviled eggs nowadays, a crying shame.

One of the new kids on the block was right nearby: Hiibachi Fried Rice (the name of the dish and the restaurant).



I'm sure the thinking was ‘we should try to make this fried rice healthy’, but who in the hell comes down here to eat healthy?! Moreover, who wants fried rice to be healthy?! Thumbs way down for this attempt at a Chinese food staple.

What do you have to wipe this bland taste out of my mouth? Loaded Jerk Potato Salad from Pudgy Potatoes. I mean, potato salad is pretty hard to screw up and ‘Loaded Jerk’ Potato Salad sounds damn promising.



It tasted like regular potato salad to me, which I already had at home. I suppose I understand not loading it with jerk flavoring so as to lay low someone with a weak constitution, but this was another letdown, plain and simple.

Surely, this streak of mediocrity can be broken with Smash & Roll’s Bacon Jam Smashburger, right?


Just about. I almost forgot what flavor felt like. Thanks for the reminder.

After that, I want to get a streak going. Can these Arroz con gondules from La Casa de Sabores keep it up?


Can you believe this is the snack size serving? Only four tickets! I can’t imagine the full size satisfying me any more than this, a rare thing to say about the offerings at the Taste. ‘Twas delicious. Also, they forgot to give me the flag like they'd been doing for everyone else, so I added it myself.

From there, I hit up Babcia’s Pierogi for their Asian Fusion Pierogi. Unfortunately, I was so preoccupied with finding a place to sit that I forgot to take a snap of it before I wolfed it down. I even had this whole The Jerk-like bit prepared to underscore the presentation: "There’s so much slaw, you can’t even see the pierogi!" Of course, I ate most of it, but sometimes, more is less. 

I had a plan to take a break from the Taste and head to the new downtown theater to see an animated movie. In this case, it was Minions and Monsters. I check the showtime on my phone and the show started at 12:20pm.

At the moment I checked it, it was 12:30pm. Ack!

I haul shell to the theater, hoping that the trailer situation is not unlike that of Regal and that I can make it just in time. I get there and pay my money. The screening room is empty. The movie is unspooling. I’ve already missed the Universal logo and at least a couple of the names in the voice cast. Curse those conscientious bastards and their reasonable scheduling!

It seems snobbish to call lowered expectations on this, but I had a good time with the movie. It was almost like an MGM Marx Brothers movie, but with the Minions as the Marxes. The parade of movie references early on was particularly enjoyable. If you see only one Minions movie in your life - and, really, you should probably only see one Minions movie in your life - make sure it’s this one.

Then, it’s back to the Taste...and much earlier than I anticipated. I made my way through the crowd to my next stop: Crispy Pork Belly Banh Mi from Milk and Tea.


My Lord, was this tasty. And the bleacher seating (first year I can recall this being available) made for a nice environment. The Coke Zero washed this down very well. 

From there, I made my way to Niagara Square and the restaurants along that circle. I wasn’t sure where to go, so I decided to stop at D.A. Taste for the Avocado Friez (the ‘z’ stands for quality).


Repeating myself from last year, but as Michael Bluth said, “I don't know what I expected.” Avocado slices rolled in bread crumbs. All I could do was choke them down. The sauce really helped. Not the best food item, nor the worst, but at least there was a vision behind this. Not sure it entirely worked, but A for effort.

After that, I went to the WBBZ booth. All I needed to do for a prize was throw three balls onto a Velcro bullseye with all three landing on the buffalo's face in the center. I don’t know what frustrates me more: the network’s occasional signal loss on the days I want to watch it or my crappy aim that only landed one of the balls.

Screw this and the jackhole whose dog left a present in the path to the street.

One last stop for today. I’m irritated. Back to La Casa de Sabores for a Beef & Cheese Empanada.


Just the thing to hit the spot. A bit too hot at first, but ultimately delicious. (You probably noticed the lack of desserts in this year's menu. Remarkably, there was a Tops location that made banana parfaits. I wish I could remember which one it was, ‘cause I missed it like crazy. Also, Half Baked Cookies was offering a number of Ben and Jerry’s-inspired flavors that week. It seems like the desserts at the Taste would be a step down.)

And now, I’m only left with seven tickets. Usually, I’d reserve this for grabbing a little something for Mom, but a) I don’t think she’d like the Blackberry BBQ Wings that Just Pizza was offering up (and even if she did, they were eight tickets and b) last year when I got her wings, they sat in the fridge for a week, uneaten...until I ate them. She didn’t really say anything about getting an item, so I’m assuming it's all good.

Be a real waste of money if I didn’t spend these, so I guess I’m going back on...

Sunday

A situation like this, you have to have a plan in place and I did. Two ten-ticket items (yeah, they’re still on that kick), a soda (eight tickets) and foods worth four and five tickets. As I got there, a group of people were leaving. One of them sees me and gives me two tickets he couldn’t spend anywhere.

Okay, new plan: two tenners, an eight-ticket soda and foods worth five and six tickets. I got this. 

Deciding to keep to Delaware, my first stop is The Quesadilla Company for their Nachos and Cheese.


A little salty, but delicious.

Not a lot of 5 ticket items here. Just the Aloo Samosa from India Gate and the Loaded Nachos from D.A. Taste. (However, the latter had jalapenos and I really didn't feel like picking off jalapenos or olives or banana peppers. If I'm gonna eat something, I want to eat it, not wrestle it for a meal.)


Besides, I can never get enough of a good samosa and the green sauce I hit it with was a smart embellishment.

Afterwards, I favor AJ’s Kitchen for their Loganberry BBQ Burger. Again, my eyes are bigger than my brain, so I have no picture with which to show off. Thankfully, the BBQ in the sauce that drenches the burger is more prevalent than the Loganberry. (By now, I also have a Coca-Cola.)

The last meal of the weekend had to be an amazing one. A lot of pressure here to end the event on a high. I’d like to hope I did with the Chicken Loaded Potato Bites from Pudgy Potatoes.


Could’ve used a bit more spice, but still, this is the kind of comfort food that leaves you with a smile as you say goodbye for another year. Will I ever be able to afford these meals in full? Will I be able to drive out there without worrying about my car breaking down to and from these locations (some of which are insanely far away)? Only time will tell, I suppose.

Ah, but wait! Something new has been added! I'm gonna rank the meals I partook of. Behold:

Crispy Pork Belly Banh Mi
Beef and Cheese Empanadas
Bacon Jam Smashburger
Loganberry BBQ Burger
Smoked Deviled Eggs
OG Lito
Aloo Samosa
Arroz con gondules
Chicken Loaded Potato Bites
Nachos and Cheese
Loaded Jerk Potato Salad
Asian Fusion Pierogi
Avocado Friez
Hiibachi Fried Rice

Can’t wait to do it again next year.

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