As I was walking up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away

The poem is apropos of nothing, but doesn't this make a nice respite from the 'I wasted my year/life is meaningless' spiel that usually comprises these December 31st posts...even though that's what I'm feeling?

I had a very trying day at work today and since I'm so afraid of doing damage to other people (mainly because of consequences) or myself (mainly because of pain), I'm just going to do the one thing I can do when the world knocks me down that isn't self-gratification (and I feel comfortable admitting that because a. Honesty is the best policy and b. I know no one reads this fucking blog anyway, so who can judge me and if anyone deigns to try, are they really going to tell me that they don't jerk it...or have never jerked it?): bitching on the internet.

I think it only right to post a list that I've been meaning to post for a long time...

Why I like film music better than people:

- Film music never asks stupid questions, but offers beautiful statements.

- Unlike people, film music knows never to wear out its welcome.

- Film music can never hurt you, physically or emotionally.

- Film music doesn't leave an unpleasant smell.

- Film music is creative, not like the unimaginative dullards that comprise most of humanity.

- Film music may disappoint, but with far less frequency than people.

- Film music doesn't ask you to change yourself; it loves you for who you are.

- Film music can linger in the memory with wonderful themes, not acts of cruelty or ignorance.

- Unlike people, film music is something to look forward to seeing every day.

- If there are parts you don't like, you can skip over them while listening to film music.

- People come and go, but film music is forever.

- Film music doesn't mess shit up; if anything, it's really organized.

- Film music makes you feel good about yourself and the world.

If this list feels like it was dashed off, that's probably because it was. Assuming you've read this far, do you have any others to add? (and I know you have them; why else would you be reading this post?)

To all you last-minute wrappers...

...myself included...don't give up. Flippy decrees it:



If this video doesn't melt your heart, then here's hoping that the three ghosts that visit you tonight set you back on the path of right.

It feels good to know when you a) have completed something and b) are well on your way to completing something, as I have.

My Christmas list.

My real Christmas list is a bit more tangible and nowhere near as extravagant (unless one wishes to count the first season of "How I Met Your Mother" on DVD; why did no one tell me sooner how effing hilarious this show was?), but this is some of the stuff I would love to have, not just for Christmas, but the whole year round:

- enough money to a) not have to work at the store, b) move out of my parents' house and c) set up a new life out West

- a smokin' fine (and preferably redheaded and stacked) girlfriend

- more confidence

- a successful career as a filmmaker

- all-access passes to scoring sessions

- access to a time machine

- the patience not to want to kill people who ask stupid questions (I think we could all do with this)

- pretty much every TV show that I've mentioned here that hasn't been released on DVD (Seriously, why - with Jason Bateman's current fame - am I still waiting for "It's Your Move"?!)

Perhaps, with help, I can get ever closer to attaining these wonderful items. Act now!

I don't know what to say here.

Love at First Bite (Charles Bernstein)

Count Dracula (George Hamilton) travels to America to woo his intended, model Cindy Sondheim (Susan Saint James). However, he must deal with the jungle that is New York City and Cindy's psychiatrist (Richard Benjamin), a descendent of Van Helsing. Perhaps the funniest Dracula movie ever made, with an amusing script by Robert Kaufman and fine performances, especially Arte Johnson as Renfield.

Though he gained some fame years later for scoring more serious horror stories (The Entity, Cujo, A Nightmare on Elm Street), Charles Bernstein's score is terrific, with a lovely main theme of violin and cimbalom.

Love at First Bite
music by
Charles Bernstein

1. Main Titles/Dracula's Solo 2.18
2. "There she is" 2.01
3. Dracula's Promise 0.11
4. The Angry Mob 1.50
5. "Remember this..." 0.50
6. Drive to New York/The Funeral 1.19
7. Dracula Walks the Streets 1.33
8. The Photo Shoot 2.49
9. "A bite to drink" 2.07
10. Dracula's Lament 1:06
11. Dracula Bites Cindy 1.17
12. Jeffrey's Theories 2.25
13. A Staring Contest/On the Balcony 1.28
14. Wake-Up Call? 0.22
15. Racing the Clock 0.54
16. "Burn, baby, burn!" 1.45
17. Dracula Sucks!/The Hearse 0.18
18. Pillow Talk 1.55
19. The Brown-Out 1.40
20. The Chase 4.21
21. Run to the Plane 0.29
22. The Third Bite 1.16
23. Finale 0.30