Andre Previn (1929-2019)

(In advance, my deepest apologies for this rambling anecdote that has little, if anything, to do with the esteemed and departed Mr. Previn, but it is important to have this backstory.)

When I signed up to be a writer for Film Score Monthly Online, I found that I would not be paid in money, but in FSM CDs. Okay. That's fine. Of course, I would need to provide a list of what titles would be sent to me. I checked the list of in-print titles and went through what I didn't already have, listening to various audio clips to see what caught my fancy.

Now, I'd never heard of Dead Ringer outside of the occasional articles on the FSM website. I vaguely knew of Andre Previn as Mia Farrow's husband in her pre-Woody days.

I clicked on the audio file of the "Main Title". Those descending horns. That rapid-fire string work. The slithering harpsichord. Where has this music (and the guy who wrote it) been hiding my whole life?! The theme itself was pretty good, too.

Dead Ringer immediately made my list of titles. I really need to do a deep dive of Previn's work. I picked up Elmer Gantry and I think All in a Night's Work is in my collection somewhere. (Hey, when you occasionally pick up titles indiscriminately, some of them are bound to get lost.)

Farewell, good sir. You shall be missed.

Didn't watch the Oscars. Oddly enough, I chose work. (Note: the Forever 21 in my town is friggin' janky. Dust bunnies and discarded garbage everywhere.) My ballot topped out at 7 out of 24.

Hey, shit happens.

Picking Oscar's nose.

Even though the Academy reversed the decision to give out awards during commercial breaks, things are gonna get a little...ranty.

Best Picture - You know how, on a multiple-choice quiz, you can automatically eliminate half of the answers, guaranteeing that you might pick the right one? Let's get to it:

Bohemian Rhapsody - Someone took the script for Walk Hard: the Dewey Cox Story, deleted the jokes and found/replaced 'Dewey Cox' with 'Freddie Mercury'...and it's directed by a sociopathic pedophile.

Green Book - Yet another 'White people solve racism' movie, but with the dual novelties of marginalizing Dr. Shirley (as per his family) and being directed/co-written by the auteur behind Movie 43, Dumb and Dumber To and The Heartbreak Kid remake who used to flash his junk at his lead actresses as a joke.

Roma - Even if the film somehow weren't a super-dull and pretentious bit of nonsense, its writer/director/cinematographer concurrently made a commercial equating autism to a disease...and his own child has autism. Who knows how many autistic people paid for and enjoyed Children of Men or Gravity or A Little Princess? Dude played himself, big time.

Vice - This one hurts because it was fun to watch for a while, but then the film loses the plot, becoming more tract than entertainment. And you gotta love that line in the mid-credits scene where the man behind minor hits Step Brothers and The Other Guys makes fun of the American public for having crappy tastes in movies.

This leaves Black Panther, BlackkKlansman, The Favourite and A Star is Born. While any one of these would be a worthy Best Picture, certainly more than the films listed above, I'm gonna go with The Favourite.

Actor: Despite knowing the least about the movie, I'm picking Willem Dafoe for At Eternity's Gate, mainly as a means of voting against the three films. Rami Malek was outstanding and under other circumstances, he'd be my choice.

Actress: Colman or McCarthy. Both were sensational in their respective movies as damaged women just trying to get through life...but it has been way too long, guys. Glenn Close, all the way.

Supporting Actor - Awesome as it would be for Sam Elliott giving an acceptance speech (for his first nomination!), I was awed by Richard E. Grant's fine work in Can You Ever Forgive Me?...and I am so hoping that his speech consists of the line as he hoists his Oscar, "Money will always be paper, but gold will always be gold.".

Supporting Actress: Who is the favo(u)rite, here? I'm gonna say...Rachel Weisz.

Director - Weird to think that Spike Lee was never nominated in this category before. Really hoping he gets the award.

Original Screenplay - I really liked the screenplay for The Favourite, but on the other hand, Paul Schrader was never nominated before (Not even for Taxi Driver! Can you believe that?!). Hey, as long as it doesn't go to Vice or Green Book, I'm good, but let me pick...The Favourite.

Adapted Screenplay - Much as I liked Can You Ever Forgive Me?, they'll definitely want to give BlackkKlansman something.

Cinematography: Caleb Deschanel received a nomination for Foreign film nominee Never Look Away. A prestige project like this makes a nice rebound from the schlocky likes of Winter's Tale (which, admittedly, looked beautiful) and Unforgettable (less so, judging by the trailer). However, I'm gonna pick Robbie Ryan for The Favourite.

Editing - As a fan of his music, it's easy to want to pick John Ottman for Bohemian Rhapsody. If he wins, it'll likely be part of a sweep for Best Picture and no one wants that. If he loses...he loses and I really hope he a) has been keeping his nose clean and b) is smart enough to cut bait in regards to his longtime collaborator. So...The Favourite.

Production Design - The sets of Black Panther looked amazing, so I would definitely name this.

Original Score - For the first time in a while, it's a category where any of the nominated scores could win and I'd be cool with it, even if I wish that Alexandre Desplat (Operation: Finale for Isle of Dogs) and Nicholas Britell (Vice for If Beale Street Could Talk) had been nominated for different scores. Awesome though it would be for Marc Shaiman to join the EGOT club, I'm really pulling for Ludwig Goransson for Black Panther, easily the best Marvel score yet and the best score I heard last year. (Though Terence Blanchard's BlackkKlansman was also terrific.)

Original Song - If only because of the point I articulated in the previous category, I want the prize to go to "The Place Where Lost Things Go".

Costume Design - From the moment I saw the film, I just knew that Ruth Carter's work on Black Panther would've been nominated, and now, I'm confident that she will win.

Animated Feature: May I just say what bullshit it is that Mirai received a nomination. Think back to Your Name., which featured lush animation, a clever use of time travel and body swap tropes and two engaging protagonists. Sadly, none of this resulted in an Oscar nomination, but yeah, let's give one to the movie with the lackadaisical use of time travel and the most slappable protagonist this side of...I don't know. You think of one. Literally any other animated movie from last year would've deserved the adulation more. (Okay, maybe not Sherlock Gnomes.) Ah, whatever. It's going to Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, anyway.

Animated Short Subject: I'm going with "Bao".

Live-Action Short Subject: I have it on good authority that four out of the five shorts feature child endangerment. Now, I'm not the biggest fan of children, but Jesus, there's definitely some issues going on here, so let me just go with the odd man out, "Marguerite".

Visual Effects - Let's be honest: Avengers: Infinity War is walking away with this.

Sound - Because First Man ought to win something.

Sound Effects Editing - ...because wouldn't it be hilariously ironic for A Quiet Place to dominate this category?

Foreign Film - I want to say that this belongs to Never Look Away, so I will.

Documentary Feature - First of all, total crap that Won't You Be My Neighbor? was snubbed. Second...RBG, I guess.

Documentary Short Subject - I know nothing of these nominees so let's pick a name out of a hat. "End Game".

Make-up and Hairstyling: The make-up work on Vice was very well-done. This is one award I'd be fine with this film receiving.

Fanboys: The scene where the crew makes the side-trip to rag on the Trekkers and they make fun of Picard, stating there aren't any gay characters in Star Wars. C3PO. Seriously, is this your first day of Star Wars school?

Once Upon a Time in Mexico: Have I been spending way too much time online or is Mariachi and Carolina's daughter the same girl from the 'Why not both?' Old El Paso meme?

Now that I think about it, both answers are likely true.

In some kind of effort to make the show shorter, the Academy has gone beyond not having a host for this year's Oscar ceremony to considering having 5 or 6 awards presented during ad breaks...compounded by changing up which awards get marginalized for each year.

I truly believe that, for most (if not all) lovers of film, this is the most rational and level-headed response to such thinking: