If I can eat it here, I can eat it anywhere.

Not too long ago, I stated a desire to take an eating tour of New York City. To do that, I'd need a list of places to hit up. This article (courtesy of Buzzfeed, of course) made my job a little easier:

17 Foods that Make Living in NYC Worth It

In addition, I've always been somewhat curious about duck. I think I should try it at least once in life and what better place to do so than in Chinatown?

Also, Topless Robot posted a list of geeky places in Brooklyn. One place that caught my eye - not just for its clever concoctions, but its eye-catching menus - was Vinnie's Pizzeria.

To quote a line attributed to "30 Rock", "I want to go to there."

Now, when I watch TV in the morning, I avoid the morning news shows. This is primarily out of disinterest, but I happened upon "Today"...and two news items caught my eye:

- Donald Trump is being sued for $40 million. Merely a parking ticket for a guy like that, but buckle up for the circumstances: his no-campus, real estate seminar-consisting Trump University is under fire for defrauding people. Wow. Full disclosure: I was in special education for six years of my life, so if I can identify something as a scam, then there's no excuse for everyone else not to do the same. I can just picture him now: "Of course this is a scam. If you're dumb enough to fall for it, you deserve to be defrauded." (You have to imagine it in Trump's voice. I doubt it's that hard.)

- There's a new phone app that allows people to monitor other people's phone calls and texts. Sure, I suppose it can be used for dating purposes, but...did no one consider the evil rammifications of such an app? Again, if I can figure it out...

Add to that last night's Adult Swim premiere of the incredibly unfunny and mind-bogglingly retarded "Mr. Pickles" and...well, read the tag, folks.

The picture show.

While a number of these items are very much of their time ("Dish Night"?!), #5, 6, 7 and 9 fascinate me. I doubt I'd have wanted to live through that era (for a number of reasons), but it's interesting to get a glance at how movie theaters once were:

11 things we no longer see in movie theaters

One of these days, I ought to get my 'why I love going to the movies' essay posted.

Deal of a Lifetime (Amotz Plessner)

All Henry Spooner (Michael Goorjian) wants is the love of his classmate Lori (Shiri Appleby). Enter Jerry (Kevin Pollak), who has a devil of an offer to make. (Yes, I went there.) Yet another variation on "Faust", this direct-to-video flick is largely forgotten today...and with good reason: it's a bland, slipshod affair. However, Pollak is a hoot as Jerry and makes the film well worth the price of seeing it for a few bucks on YouTube.

As with the lamentable Addams Family Reunion, Amotz Plessner tried valiantly to lend some credibility to an inconsequential mess with an enjoyable score. Seriously, why don't more people know about this guy?!

Deal of a Lifetime
composed & conducted
by
Amotz Plessner
1. Main Titles/Reporting to Work 4.08
2. Inspecting the Coffee 0.14
3. Bob Calls Jerry 1.34
4. Jerry Meets Henry/Just Say Yes! 2.44
5. Henry's Perfect Paper 1.08
6. The Right Answer 0.09
7. Drawing a Blank 0.12
8. "Well Done, Mr. Spooner" 0.14
9. Henry and Foster Chat 0.28
10. Locker Room Rumble/Talking It Over 0.59
11. Bullies' Remorse 0.29
12. "Here Comes Cinderella" 0.10
13. Henry and Lori/We All Scream... 2.01
14. The I Scream Man/The Bowtie/Studying 1.55
15. "Tell Me About Henry" 1.15
16. Friendship Lost/The Salad Cart/Love Found 2.06
17. Jerry Calls Tina 1.17
18. Henry's Makeover 2.38
19. Jerry Busts Henry 0.18
20. "What's It Gonna Be?" 0.44
21. Henry Says No 0.51
22. Jerry Plots Revenge 2.05
23. Jerry the Vandal 2.21
24. Another Speech 0.55
25. Henry Has No Pants 0.21
26. Tina Gets Her Contract 1.21
27. Jerry Steals the Speech 0.40
28. Lori Dumps Henry 0.28
29. All Alone/Henry Signs 3.25
30. Henry's Speech 1.46
31. Henry Confesses/Jerry's Back 2.01
32. Tina Talks to Henry 2.03
33. Tina Confronts Jerry 2.59
34. Contract in Ashes/Back to Normal 1.44
35. The Young Man and the C- 1.13
36. Tina's Redemption 1.54
37. Jerry's Penance/End Credits 3.21

Eileen Brennan (July 28th) - My first encounter with her was as the headmistress in The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking. I was a child at the time, so my memory of her performance is hazy at best. (Sadly, my memory of having seen the film at all...clear as a bell.) As the years went on, I became aware of her other work, notably her Oscar-nominated performance in Private Benjamin. However, I think most people will remember her as the common link in two amusing murder-mystery sendups: Tess Skeffington in Murder by Death and Mrs. Peacock in Clue.

Michael Ansara (August 2nd) - In spite of his wide range of characters (and their nationalities), I know him best for two roles: a) his affecting voice work (and what a voice!) as Mr. Freeze on "Batman: the Animated Series" and b) John Singing Rock in The Manitou, bringing great conviction to a very silly (but endearingly so) horror movie.

Karen Black (August 8th) - This fine actress brought her distinctive looks and talent to everything from big studio fare (Family Plot, The Great Gatsby) to counterculture favorites (Easy Rider, Five Easy Pieces) to genre pieces (House of 1000 Corpses, Trilogy of Terror, Burnt Offerings). Plus, I really enjoyed her scenes with Elliot Gould in Capricorn One.

They will all be missed.

That's amore?

I've been to Los Angeles. Never had pizza there.

I've been to San Diego. Never had pizza there.

I've been to New York City. Never had pizza there. (Shameful, I know. In fact, my goal is to go back there for a few days and just take an eating tour.)

I've been to Chicago. Dined at Lou Malnati's Pizzeria.

Still, I can't help but think that this list is 31 flavors of nonsense:

Nation's Top Pizza?

If Craigslist had less freaks and more people like this, I'd probably be there every day:

Is This the Most Beautiful Craigslist Missed Connection Ever Written?

What do you propose?

In the last couple days, I read about a pair of marriage proposals and how well they were (or weren't received).

One was apparently made on Reddit utilizing a bunch of memes. Even though the girl said yes (which must make her very forgiving or very easy; that does sound lazy), a number of commenters felt she should've turned him down.

The other was one of those big, splashy things that ought to be reserved for the realm of cheesy romantic comedies. The girl said no. While I'm unaware of the crowd's reaction to her decision, I support it. I mean, if you're going to the trouble of paying people off to make your dream happen and basically moving Heaven and Earth for a marriage proposal, before a huge crowd, you're pretty much guilting the girl into saying yes, and I get the feeling that she knew that.

The guy might be crushed now, but hopefully, he'll see it was for the best.

A marriage proposal ought to be a quiet, intimate affair. Save the splashiness for the wedding itself, I say.