8:32 "Tonight, we honor Hollywood's best and whitest-- brightest!"
8:33 Anna Kendrick joins NPH in honoring Hollywood.
8:34 Okay, I'm nominating Jack Black for next year's Oscar host.
8:36 Neat song. It was written by the Lopezes (
Frozen).
8:38 Lupita Nyong'o presents Best Supporting Actor. The Oscar goes to...J.K. Simmons (1/24). Gave a very nice speech. I should listen to my parents more.
8:45 NPH's Oscar predictions are under guard by Octavia Spencer. Hey, it's not a pizza party, right?
8:46 Liam Neeson introduces Best Picture nominees
The Grand Budapest Hotel and
American Sniper.
8:49 Dakota Johnson (let's focus on the third-generation thing, not the
50 Shades thing) introduces Adam Levine performing "Lost Stars" from
Begin Again.
8:52 Okay, seriously,
is that Lady Gaga?
8:56 Jennifer Lopez and Chris Pine present Best Costume Design. The Oscar goes to...Milena Canonero for
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2/24). Almost had a win in each decade; shame about the 90s.
9:00 "So delicious, you could eat her up with her spoon." I think it's worse that I got it than if I hadn't. Reese Witherspoon presents Best Make-Up. The Oscar goes to...
The Grand Budapest Hotel. Okay, was the
Guardians of the Galaxy make-up not impressive enough? Look at what they did to Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Karen Gillan and Michael Rooker. Unbelievable.
9:03 Channing Tatum tells us of budding filmmakers who will get to present Oscars tonight.
9:08 Nicole Kidman and Chiwetel Ejiofor...okay, how tall is she? Oh, yeah. Presenting Best Foreign Language Film. The Oscar goes to...
Ida (3/24). Huh. Go figure. Man, he's really going. He might only get the one shot. Can't blame him for taking advantage.
9:13 Shirley MacLaine with Best Picture nominees
Boyhood,
The Theory of Everything and
Birdman.
9:17 Marion Cotillard introduces Tegan and Sara and the Lonely Island performing "Everything is Awesome" from
The Lego Movie...and, hey, "Darkness (Untitled Self-Portrait)" made it to the Oscars, after all.
9:24 Kerry Washington and Jason Bateman present Best Live Action Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."The Phone Call".
9:28 Continuing with Best Documentary Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1" (4/24).
9:31 Just think: if Viola Davis had won for
The Help, she likely wouldn't be on "How to Get Away with Murder". Anyway, she's telling of the many Lifetime Achievement Awards.
9:33 According to Twitter, that really was Will Arnett in the Lego Batman suit. Holy crapballs.
9:35 Gwyneth Paltrow introduces Tim McGraw singing "I'm Not Gonna Miss You" from
Glen Campbell: I'll Be Me.
9:42 Okay, where's Neil? Locked out of his dressing room? Come on. Nothing suits him like a suit...oh, I get it.
Birdman reference...crossed with some
Whiplash.
9:43 Harley Quinn and Mr. Fantastic regale us with the Scientific and Technical Awards ceremony.
9:45 Sienna Miller and Chris Evans present the Sound Mixing award. The Oscar goes to...
Whiplash.
9:48 Sound Editing award next. The Oscar goes to...
American Sniper.
9:51 Jared Leto presenting Best Supporting Actress. The Oscar goes to...Patricia Arquette for
Boyhood (5/24). Nice of her to give Emma Stone a hug. Fun fact: at the beginning of her career, Stone shared a scene with Arquette on "Medium". Blew my mind when I found out the other day...and now, she's going full-on Sarandon. It's her moment. Let the rest of the net rip on her.
9:59 Gotta love Robert Duvall wanting no part of NPH's security nonsense.
10:00 Josh Hutcherson introduces Rita Ora performing "Grateful" from
Beyond the Lights, apparently one of the best movies of last year that no one saw.
10:03 Ansel Elgort and Chloe Grace Moretz (Tommy and Carrie in the
Carrie remake!) present Best Visual Effects. The Oscar goes to...
Interstellar. Oh, bullshit.
10:06 Kevin Hart and Anna Kendrick present Best Animated Short Film. The Oscar goes to..."Feast" (6/24).
10:09 Zoe Saldana and Dwayne Johnson present best Animated Feature. The Oscar goes to...
Big Hero 6. Loved the film, but was so hoping for a Laika triumph.
10:17 "Presenting the President...of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences." Ha.
10:20 Chris Pratt and Felicity Jones present Best Production Design. The Oscar goes to...
The Grand Budapest Hotel (7/24).
10:23 Idris Elba and Jessica Chastain present Best Cinematography. The Oscar goes to...Emmanuel Lubezki for
Birdman (8/24).
10:30 Meryl Streep introduces the Obituary montage.
10:35 Jennifer Hudson sings a tribute.
10:42 Naomi Watts and Benedict Cumberbatch present Best Editing. The Oscar goes to...Tom Cross for
Whiplash.
10:46 Terrence Howard with the last three Best Picture nominees:
Whiplash,
The Imitation Game and
Selma.
10:49 Jennifer Aniston and David Oyelowo present Best Documentary Feature. The Oscar goes to...
CitizenFour.
10:58 Octavia Spencer's not watching NPH's nominations. Oh, wait. She's introducing Common and John Legend performing
Selma's "Glory".
11:04 Idina Menzel getting some payback on John Travolta and presenting Best Original Song. The Oscar goes to..."Glory" from
Selma. Didn't see that coming.
11:12 Scarlett Johansson introducing a tribute to
The Sound of Music...and Lady Gaga (seriously?!) performing a medley of its songs.
11:20 OMG. It's Julie Andrews...and she's here to present Best Original Score (about damn time!). The Oscar goes to...Alexandre Desplat's
The Grand Budapest Hotel (9/24). Fuck yeah!
11:29 Eddie Murphy presents Best Original Screenplay. The Oscar goes to...
Birdman. Hmmm.
11:33 Oprah Winfrey presents Best Adapted Screenplay. The Oscar goes to...
The Imitation Game. Hmmm, again. I'm totally taken aback here...and Graham Moore's an American?! Whosa-jigga-what? Okay, got a little heavy just then. (I'm presuming he's gay. Speaking of gay Oscar-winning scribes, whatever became of Dustin Lance Black? After a marvelous script for
Milk, he did
J. Edgar, then nothing. So weird.)
11:41 "Benedict Cumberbatch" takes the stage, presenting Best Director. The Oscar goes to...Alejandro Gonzales Innarritu for
Birdman.
11:48 Oh, boy. Cate Blanchett with Best Actor. The Oscar goes to...Eddie Redmayne for
The Theory of Everything. Fucking bullshit!
11:53 I'll bring myself to care about the rest of the show, but don't hold your breath. Matthew McConaughey presents Best Actress. The Oscar goes to...Julianne Moore. (10/24). Freaking finally.
12:00 NPH's Oscar predictions are unleashed. Pretty dead-on.
12:03 Presenting Best Picture is Sean Penn. (For the record, I thought his joke was funny.) The Oscar goes to...
Birdman. Whoa.
Well, another Oscar ceremony down. Feeling a little chilly, so I'm hitting the sack. I'll fix any mistakes in the morning. Night, y'all.
Labels: Oscar stuff