Maybe that guy at Fan Expo Canada was right.

An abridged script, inspired by today's review at Scriptshadow:

Me: Hello. I have what I think would be a pretty interesting superhero script that I'd like to send to you.

C: (crickets)

Me: It's about a superheroine who finds herself pregnant. The baby seems to be draining her powers and there's a global event that needs to be settled. She's been doing so much to not only palm the baby off on others, but to find out who the baby daddy is.

C: (posts every other goddamn script to be reviewed, including a few superhero scripts, because God forbid that anyone get feedback on their material to know their worth as a writer)

Me: I could get my script feedback from people who charge money, but between my many monthly expenses, that's not as possible as I'd like, so I'd really appreciate a shot.

C: (whines about the new Star Wars movies for-goddamn-ever)

Me: (indignant) Well, you obviously have better things to do with your time. I'll just move on to something else. (muttering) A pregnant superheroine. I probably would've been re-written anyway.

C: (posts glowing review of a script that's basically The Game Plan with superheroics stapled on) (actual quote) "You guys know I'm all about subversive superhero scripts."

Me: Go fuck yourself.

The End.

Yeah, I know what I said about Corona, but this is too big not to share. A week ago today, I got myself tested for the virus. It entailed having cotton swabs jammed up my nose (which I’m pretty sure makes me a mummy, now) and having blood drawn (it took some time to find a vein, but it was successful, even with the bruise left under my skin*).

The good news is that I tested negative for the virus. The bad news is that I have no antibodies, basically meaning that if I do come down with the bug, then that’s the end of me.

It hasn’t been as easy avoiding danger as I thought. People at my job (right in my goddamn row!) have taken to not wearing masks while working. More distressingly, the people in charge don’t seem to know or care about this breach of what I assumed was a mandatory policy. For real, if one of these cocksuckers gets me sick, feet are going up asses like you wouldn’t believe.

* - I was worried about this, but it’s clearing up pretty well and it should be gone in a couple of weeks.

No Taste of Buffalo. No Italian Festival. No Erie County Fair. No trip to Toronto. (And even now, the socially distanced drive-in is a giant question mark. I thought for sure that I was looking at the second-worst summer of my life*. But lo and behold, a couple of food trucks set up shop at the mall and I got to enjoy a Dirty Bird from Mineo and Sapio Street Eats.

Messy, but very tasty. Granted, the selection isn’t as bountiful as I’m used to, but in a world like this, you take your pleasures where you can get them.

* - Nothing can top 2017, what with the loss of my father, getting lost in Toronto, some cokehead rear-ending my Impala and the sleep-murdering, soul-destroying Office Depot rebuilding job.