So...how about that Best Picture thing? Iddn't that wild? To be honest, I was asleep for the whole brouhaha. I get too comfortable while watching something in bed and it happens.

Just like how you leave a football game before the fourth quarter and your team is down by 20 and you may as well beat the traffic 'cause it's gonna be a freaking madhouse, only for said favorite team to come from behind and win by 15 and you have to hear it second hand from co-workers and online until everyone forgets about it for a while until a similar situation crops up and someone is like, 'Hey, remember when...?'

Anyway, my point is that I lost my train of thought.

Another year, another Oscar ceremony.

8:31 Hey, the guy from N*SYNC is singing. Good that he landed on his feet.

8:34 Hey, Michael J. Fox!

8:35 "I hope the other guys from N*SYNC were watching because there's a good chance they'll let you back in the band."

8:37 "When I first met Matt, I was the fat one."

8:42 Okay, what is with Halle Berry's hair?

8:44 A pretty neat montage of Best Supporting Actor winners.

8:46 Alicia Vikander presents the award.

8:50 And the Oscar goes to...Mahershala Ali (1/24)! A long way from Predators, that's for sure.

8:53 Aaaaand station break.

8:55 Aaaand we're back.

8:56 Kate McKinnon and Jason Bateman present Make-Up and Hairstyling. The Oscar goes to...Suicide Squad (2/24)! All I can say is ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha!

9:00 ...and now, Best Costume Design. The Oscar goes to...Colleen Atwood for Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Huh. Still, her designs are always impressive. I thought she'd have been nominated for The Huntsman: Winter's War.

9:02 "Mission: Impossible" leads us to another station break.

9:07 Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer and Janelle Monae introduce one of the subjects of their movie Hidden Figures, Katherine Johnson...

9:10 ...and present Best Documentary Feature. The Oscar goes to..."O.J.: Made in America".

9:14 Dwayne Johnson introduces the performance of Moana's nominated song, "How Far I'll Go" (but seriously, why was "You're Welcome" not nominated?).

9:22 The President of the Academy, Cheryl Boone Isaacs.

9:25 Movies are better with candy, and it's nice that the ceremony can get some refreshments without stopping the show dead (*coughpizzapartycough*).

9:27 Sofia Boutella and Chris Evans present the award for Best Sound Editing. The Oscar goes to...Arrival (3/24). Holy crap, really? I was just guessing.

9:30 Best Sound Mixing, now. The Oscar goes to...Hacksaw Ridge (4/24)! Maybe, I should start playing Cash 4 Life.

9:32 "S.W.A.T." leads to another station break.

9:35 Huh. Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann.

9:36 Vince Vaughn tells of the Governor's Awards, lifetime achievement Oscars going to Lawrence of Arabia editor Anne V. Coates, casting director Lynn Stalmaster (it truly threw me when I found out that Stalmaster was a guy), documentarian Frederick Wiseman and Jackie Chan!

9:39 A neat montage of Supporting Actress winners.

9:40 Mark Rylance presents Best Supporting Actress.

9:44 The Oscar goes to...Viola Davis (5/24). Frak yeah!

9:48 "The Heat is On" leads us out.

9:53 Jimmy Kimmel plans to surprise a tour bus full of tourists.

9:55 Charlize Theron talks about what The Apartment means to her...

9:56 ...and she gets to present with Shirley MacLaine the award for Best Foreign Language Film. The Oscar goes to...The Salesman from Iran.

10:00 Dev Patel introduces "The Empty Chair" from "Jim: the James Foley Story", performed by Sting.

10:06 The tourists are inside the building.

10:07 Hailee Steinfeld and Gael Garcia Bernal present the aware for Best Animated Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."Piper" (6/24). A very charming short.

10:10 Best Animated Feature is up next. The Oscar goes to...Zootopia (7/24). I think we all saw this coming.

10:13 The stars of Porn for Soccer Moms present Best Production Design. The Oscar goes to...La La Land. First award of the night, but is it the last? Fun fact: David Wasco also designed the movie I referred to in the first sentence (thank you, Letterboxd).

10:17 The tourists' prank is coming to fruition.

10:26 Talking to movie fans the world over.

10:29 Felicity Jones and Riz Ahmed present the award for Best Visual Effects. The Oscar goes to...The Jungle Book. You could probably call the award 'Most Visual Effects', in this case. After all, the other nominees had tangible sets and performers.

10:33 Seth Rogen talks about Back to the Future.

10:34 Rogen and Michael J. Fox present the award for Best Editing. The Oscar goes to...Hacksaw Ridge.

10:38 Jimmy Kimmel clowns around with the little kid from Lion. Really? That kid saw Hacksaw Ridge? I heard it was a little violent.

10:43 Salma Hayek and David Oyelowo present the award for Documentary Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."The White Helmets".

10:47 And then, Live-Action Short Subject. The Oscar goes to..."Sing". I wonder how many people will hear about this second-hand and get pissy that the singing animal CGI feature won an Oscar?

10:51 John Cho and Leslie Mann tell of the Science and Technology Awards.

10:53 I wonder how many snowflakes are het up about the brief clip from last year's Ghostbusters?

10:54 "Shaft" and another station break.

10:56 Javier Bardem waxes nostalgic on The Bridges of Madison County (!).

10:57 Bardem and Meryl Streep present the award for Best Cinematography. The Oscar goes to...Linus Sandgren for La La Land (8/24). I'd like to think that it's not the film gaining traction for a sweep, but a genuine recognition of true skill.

11:01 Kimmel brings out his 'Mean Tweets' bit.

11:04 Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone present the nominated songs from La La Land, performed by fellow La La Land star, John Legend.

11:13 Samuel L. Jackson presents the award for Best Original Score. The Oscar goes to...Justin Hurwitz for La La Land (9/24).

11:16 Scarlett Johansson presents the award for Best Original Song. The Oscar goes to..."City of Stars" from La La Land. Right movie, wrong tune.

11:20 Jennifer Aniston introduces the 'In Memoriam' montage.

11:27 Jimmy Kimmel talks about We Bought a Zoo (!!).

11:29 Ben Affleck "and guest" present the award for Best Original Screenplay. The Oscar goes to...Kenneth Lonergan for Manchester by the Sea (10/24)! Quite a ways from The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

11:33 Amy Adams presents the award for Best Adapted Screenplay. The Oscar goes to...Barry Jenkins and Tarell Alvin McCraney for Moonlight. Huh.

11:36 "Fame" and one more station break.

11:41 Halle Berry presents the award for Best Director. The Oscar goes to...Damien Chazelle for La La Land (11/24)!

11:46 A montage of Best Actor winners.

11:47 Brie Larson presents Best Actor. The Oscar goes to...Casey Affleck for Manchester by the Sea (12/24).

11:53 A montage of Best Actress winners.

11:54 Leonardo DiCaprio presents the award for Best Actress. The Oscar goes to...Emma Stone for La La Land. Wow.

12:02 Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway present the award for Best Picture.

12:07 The Oscar goes to...Moonlight?!

What a strange night. Well, that's that.

Thinking about Judge Dredd. I asked before about the (uncredited) computer voice at the trial. Someone tried to tell me that was Adrienne Barbeau, but I still maintain it's Bebe Neuwirth. You can't fake that voice.

Those darn Oscars.

Picture: The big prize. One can only assume who will emerge the victor here. La La Land.

Actor: The smart money's on Casey Affleck, unless there's a Ryan Gosling-shaped upset. I'll say...Affleck.

Actress: Will the Academy just give it to Emma Stone or will Isabelle Huppert (or Natalie Portman) swoop in for the kill? I dunno...Portman.

Supporting Actor: This one could literally go to anyone and I wouldn't mind. But I'll pick...Mahershala Ali.

Supporting Actress: While I'm sure she was phenomenal in Fences, Viola Davis is still owed an Oscar for The Help, and now's the perfect time for the Academy to settle this debt.

Director: Definitely Damien Chazelle. La La Land was impressively assembled.

Original Screenplay: It's tempting to just go with La La Land, but while I liked the film, the script wasn't that impressive, at least not as much as I'd imagine some of the other nominees being. I'm picking Manchester by the Sea.

Adapted Screenplay: Names out of a hat time: Lion.

Cinematography: Much as I'd love it to go to Lion (I have no reason not to trust that Greig Fraser's nod was richly deserved), Linus Sandgren truly impressed me with his work on La La Land.

Editing: The editing in La La Land was pretty snappy.

Art Direction: I want to say Passengers, here; the interior of the ship looked mighty impressive in the trailers.

Costume Design: This is one case where I'd be all too happy to see La La Land take the prize. It's been a good 22 years since a film that won this award was set in present day. It's about time.

Original Score: I could create my own 'Original Score' Category and fill it with different works five times over and not a one of this year's official nominees would make the cut*. Still, the best of a middling bunch would have to be the odd-yet-appealing Jackie followed by the Thomas Newman mixtape Passengers...but this is definitely going to La La Land.

Original Song: It's my guess that the people wanted to avoid incidents like Enchanted and Beauty and the Beast where one movie monopolizes the category, but that's a load a refried bullcrap; "You're Welcome" and "Shiny" were just as worthy of nominations as "How Far I'll Go". Still, as cool as it would be to nudge Lin-Manuel Miranda ever closer to an EGOT, it's gonna go to "Audition (The Fools Who Dream)".

Live-Action Short Subject: Names out of a hat time, again: "Mindenki". (Oh for the days when my cash flow was such that I could see these shorts and have an informed opinion on this category.)

Animated Short Subject: I thought "Piper" was immensely charming, so...let's say "Piper".

Animated Feature: I so want Laika to win an Oscar one day. Their movies are impressively crafted and emotionally rich and Kubo and the Two Strings is no exception. Even so, Zootopia was a case of 'right place, right time' and who am I to contravene that?

Documentary Short Subject: "Watani: My Homeland". Yeah, that sounds most like an Oscar darling, right?

Documentary Feature: It's possible that the Academy will award "O.J.: Made in America" to catch up with the Emmys, but I will go with "13th".

Sound Mixing: I'm going with Hacksaw Ridge, just because.

Sound Effects Editing: I imagine they'll want to give something to Arrival, so...

Visual Effects: I think this is a two-man race: eye-popping augmentations of reality vs. a whole jungle created from nothing. Doctor Strange.

Make-Up and Hairstyling: Suicide Squad, just to witness the firestorm of reactions, at the ceremony and online.

Foreign Film: German nominee Toni Erdmann seems to have a fair bit of buzz on it, enough that a remake is luring Jack Nicholson out of retirement. After reading a local review, I have only two things to say: a) maybe "South Park" was right about the German sense of humor and b) to paraphrase Orson Welles, "Get me a jury to prove why a story like this needed two hours and forty minutes to tell and...I'll go down on you." That said...let's go with A Man Called Ove.

Sunday night can't get here fast enough.

* - In case you're curious (and why wouldn't you be?)...

First tier:
Alice Through the Looking Glass, Danny Elfman
The BFG, John Williams
Doctor Strange, Michael Giacchino
Gernika, Fernando Velazquez
10 Cloverfield Lane, Bear McCreary

Second tier:
The Finest Hours, Carter Burwell
Gods of Egypt, Marco Beltrami
The Nice Guys, John Ottman and David Buckley
Star Trek Beyond, Michael Giacchino
The Young Messiah, John Debney

Third tier:
Finding Dory, Thomas Newman
The Huntsman: Winter's War, James Newton Howard
In a Valley of Violence, Jeff Grace
The Light Between Oceans, Alexandre Desplat
Now You See Me 2, Brian Tyler

Fourth tier:
Hail, Caesar!, Carter Burwell
The Magnificent Seven, James Horner and Simon Franglen
A Monster Calls, Fernando Velazquez
Storks, Mychael Danna and Jeff Danna
X-Men: Apocalypse, John Ottman

Fifth tier:
Elle, Anne Dudley
Kubo and the Two Strings, Dario Marianelli
Nocturnal Animals, Abel Korzeniowski
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Fernando Velazquez
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, Michael Giacchino

In the American release of Supersonic Man, there was this fanfare that sounded a little drunk. It used to be on YouTube. Does anyone know where I can hear it (and no, I'm not interested in tracking the film down; if you've seen or heard of the film, could you blame me?)?

Edit: Well, I'll be damned...

Yeah, that writing gig I crowed about last month...I decided not to go through with it. Laziness, perhaps. I guess I thought I'd make more than enough coin with my two part-time jobs. Oops.

Still, there's has arisen another chance to write and in an area I'd be awesome at. Don't want to say too much since I'd likely be required to list my blog on my writing resume and I could end up jinxing it. Still, in this area, mainly when it comes to personal favorites, I'm a friggin' Poet Laureate, so we'll see.

"Jesus loves you, but only as a friend."

If there's one thing I love, it's reading other people's opinions on things, mainly movies and mainly on message boards. Unfortunately, due to the belief that the small percentage of racist, sexist human garbage represents everyone, the message boards at IMDb are being dismantled. For people like me who may want to seek a quick check on if anyone has this same theory that I do about a particular movie character, well tough titty toenails because the boards are gone.

I just thought it would be a good idea to archive some of my posts. Not so much the 'I agree'/'I disagree' ones, but ones where I actually had something to say.

"Krippendorf's Tribe" - Did Gerald know?
10/18/14 - 15:45:21
(see, this is the kind of discussion we should all aspire to on these boards...)
In advance, I apologize for reading too much into this ridiculous movie. 

The scene where Krippendorf pulled Gerald aside, ready to confess his misappropriation of the grant money. He starts by saying 'How long have we known each other? Twenty years.' Then Gerald tells him about the other professor who spent grant money on personal things and how he was looking at jail time. Do you think that Gerald had an inkling about Krippendorf, but, for the sake of friendship, was offering him an out by telling him about the other guy? 

"Danny Phantom" - Something that's always bugged me...
7/3/09 - 19:59:20
It's nice to see that someone else was annoyed by the lame jokes, but, to stay somewhat on topic, Guy Moon's mickey-mousing composing style was not a good fit for this show. It worked for the goofiness of "Fairly Oddparents", but a show like this needed to play the situation at hand, not serve as a musical laugh track. 

The dramatic moments needed to sound dramatic and the action scenes needed to sound exciting. When you've got the same goofy noodling for the whole thing, you've seriously stepped in it. I think that Kevin Manthei ("Invader Zim", "Xiaolin Showdown") would've done a superior job on the music. 

"The Promotion" - Finally...
1/11/09 - 06:42:54
...someone who gets it. 

I've been working in a grocery store for 5 1/2 years. To paraphrase Randal in Clerks, 'It'd be a great place to work if it wasn't for the customers'. 

Like I said earlier, I've found myself in the 'Doug has to apologize to the gang members, even though they were in the wrong' scenario a number of times. 

Also, like I said, if a person has never worked a job like this, of course the film will seem bad to them. To those people, instead of slamming this movie, count your blessings that you've never had a job like this. 

I am so sick of characters that are just beyond stupid and as an audience we're supposed to believe their crazy antics or wild hi jinx. 

Off subject, you nailed down one of my main problems with Step Brothers. 

"The Promotion" - If you've never worked this kind of job...
8/28/08 - 08:04:08
...of course, it's going to seem terrible. 

For someone like me, this film was amusing, sometimes uncomfortably so. 

The scene where Doug had to apologize to the gang in the parking lot even though they were being obnoxious...I've dealt with that situation several times. 

If you looked at the two stars and thought this was going to be some goofy, gross kind of comedy...well, that's pretty much your own fault. 

"Kim Possible" - What's the deal with that bonnie chick?
1/26/08 - 08:52:48
It makes me laugh when people mention Bonnie's sisters as a reason for her unpleasant behavior. Blame the nature of a one-dimensional girl on characters that are even more one-dimensional. Yeah, that makes sense. I am convinced that Bonnie made up Connie and Lonnie (Jesus, those are the best names they could come up?), just so people would feel sorry for her. You don't think she could've made them up? 

Rent Fight Club or Secret Window if you think I'm pulling this out of thin air. It can happen.

'I'm mean to people because my sisters are mean to me'. Excuse me whilst I break out the world's smallest violin. 

Mean sisters...you may as well trot out the Twinkie defense.

and on 2/5/08 - 19:33:43
Kim hits a volleyball so that it hits Bonnie on the head. Given KP's skill, that was done on purpose (and she has been petty enough to do so in the past). 

In "Homecoming Upset", Bonnie was all over Ron like a cheap tramp...er, uh, suit, and then there were the times where Kim managed to rescue Bonnie from some horrible fate ("Sink or Swim", "Bonding", "Queen Bebe"), and Bonnie can't even cough up so much as a 'thank you'. In what universe does she not deserve something like that? It sure as hell can't be this one.

"The Manitou" - Compared to book (spoilers...for the book)
9/22/07 - 20:05:32
I read an article in Fangoria a while back, about how William Girdler was flying to London to oversee the scoring sessions for Day of the Animals. Before he boarded, he picked up a copy of the book. When he got back, he excitedly called his office, wanting to get the rights to the book. 

The script, more or less, was taken from the book. I read through the novel myself the other day. It's certainly a good deal more serious than the film, with Karen just being a woman that Harry meets as opposed to them having a history. The story was set in New York as opposed to San Francisco and Misquamacus being much more powerful, such as being able to instill a deep sense of doubt. Also, the phrase wasn't 'pana witchi salatu', but a Dutch phrase because, IIRC, it had something to do with the Dutch colonizing Manhattan. 

While it's a good read, you just can't beat the goofily straight-faced vibe of the film.

"On Deadly Ground" - What it should have been...
1/21/06 - 14:47:14
(yeah, this ain't mine, but SoapFiction's re-write is too good not to share...)
This movie could have been great, right up there with Under Siege. Not only did this movie have one of the biggest budgets of 1994, but it was made in ALASKA. The cinematography was brilliant. The score was just right. The action scenes, pyrotechnics, and sadistic novelty deaths (gotta love the Bowie knife-in-the-skull scene) were on the level. And, judging by the success of Under Siege, no one seemed to have any real problem with Seagal's acting. So, what was wrong with it? The plot and the script, that's what. Oh, and Joan Chen. 

If Seagal had had any sense, he would have made the plot a bit more like this: 

Seagal works for an oil company based in Alaska as a man who prevents spills. After their latest incident, he begins to grow a little suspicious. At the barfight, he merely beats the crap out of the gang of lowlives, with a witty one-liner instead of a dumb rhetorical question. Behind the scenes, Michael Caine (or someone else), who is SECOND in command at the company, has been given an offer he can't refuse: make a deal with a European (prefferably Scandinavian) oil tycoon to sabotage the Alaskan pipeline (causing spills, etc.) in order to raise the demand for European oil, and get a huge sh*tload of the profits. When he realizes that Seagal is getting too close, Caine and a less-whiney John C. McGinley murder the company CEO, set Seagal up to make him look like the one responsible, and attempt to kill Seagal, all the while pitching the story that Seagal was trying to sabotage the company. 

Meanwhile, Seagal is rescued by Eskimoes and townspeople, finds out what is going on, and decides to take action (this means no ridiculous spiritual journey- he just beefs up and gets ready to kill, kill, KILL!). He finds out that the Scandinavian oil tycoon (played by either Jon Voight of Chris Walken) and Michael Caine are planning to cause a spill in the company's biggest rig. He gathers a sh*tload of guns, takes out R. Lee Ermey's mercenaries (which one was Billy Bob Thorton?), and proceeds to kill dozens of bad guys with his G36 before coming to the flammable zone (no guns allowed) and beating the sh*t out of everyone who comes near him. That is, until Jet Li (playing an Eskimoe working for the bad guys!) proceeds to kick the living bejeezus out of Seagal. The fight ends, however, when a battered and bruised Seagal is able to finally kill Li, using the combination of a nearby spraying oil leak and a blow torch (ouch). Seagal then dispatches McGinley with the helo blade, and watches as that annoying woman crashes her SUV and goes up in flames. At the very end, Seagal merely throws Caine into an oil vat, and then proceeds to break the European tycoon in two, including eye-gouging, limb-snapping, forcing oil into his lungs, and topped off with dropping a lighter down the mans' throat. And so, the spill is stopped, and Seagal merely watches while the cleanup begins, saying no more than that companies should merely be more careful how they handle things (no preaching). He then spots a punk pissing in the river, and goes to beat the sh*t out of him. 

Now, THAT would have made money. 

"What does it take to change the inner essence of man?" 

A better script, for one thing.

"Robert Dawson" - Title Designer
3/15/06 - 09:10:04
Pretty much anything he's done for Tim Burton is tops in my book. Ed Wood and Mars Attacks! are excellent, and I once considered Planet of the Apes his most outstanding work...then I saw his titles for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Surprised that I got a reply for a generic post, but...

from KrisKasper:
4/8/12 - 05:13:40
I love your comment about Planet of the Apes. Robert has been a mentor, roll model, and friend to me for many years. The first opportunity I was given to edit a title sequence was Planet of the Apes. I was a vfx editor at Asylum, the post house he chose to work with for many years. Just before Planet of the Apes, I was asked to cut his reel for him. I was young, and thrilled Nathan McGuinness (the owner of Asylum) gave me the opportunity. I worked hard to impress Robert and Nathan. The next thing you know Robert chose me to edit The Planet of the Apes title sequence. It was my first work as a creative editor ( not a assistant or vfx editor). He pushed me to do my very best work and I worked harder then I had ever before. Since then I have had the opportunity to edit for and learn from both Robert and Nathan. I think I am a pretty lucky guy!

"Blue Thunder" - Would a Blue Thunder remake fly?
2/19/06 - 18:43:24
Nope. That would be utterly stupid and completely contradict the character he played. Frank Murphy was an excellent pilot, but plagued with problems that would never fly with the higher ups. A captain is more a political position... politically, he's not a good choice given his emotional issues, disregard for authority, and criminal record (which I'm sure he got after his actions in the first film). I'm sure he did OK in the public eye after the information was released, but there's no way he escaped some criminal charges after stealing and destroying Blue Thunder, destroying an F-16 and Cochrane's Hughes 500 (along with killing Cochrane), etc. They may have been lenient, but Murphy's days as a cop were very likely over.  (originally posted by 'insane_larry')

You make a lot of good points in your post, but this one is, perhaps, best of all. This is one of those conclusions you don't see very often: the hero wins, but at great personal and professional cost. It could even be argued that the hero doesn't truly win. 

And I agree that Blue Thunder should not be remade. They'd ruin it with too much CGI, among other things. 

"Roger Neill" - 'The Weekenders'
12/26/05 - 19:18:04
Just wanted to say that I loved Neill's underscoring for this, one of Disney's best shows. Catchy and very appropriate for the series. Pity it was never released.

I include this post because of the reply I got:

from gutter-5:
3/8/06 - 05:43:28
Dear choyt19 - Thank you for your nice note about my music for The Weekenders. That was a fun show to work on, with a very nice group of creative people. I recorded the scores with some of the best rock session musicians in Los Angeles: drummer Gregg Bissonette, guitarists Laurence Juber (from Wings) & John Goux, B-3 organ player Jim Cox, and many others. I'm glad you liked it. RN

Who knows if the boards will ever come back? To this end, whenever I have a random question about a movie or TV show in the future, I'll just ask it here, along with the following tag. Here's hoping someone makes the right choice.

BTW, the post title was my signature. Funny, right?

Nothing But Trouble (Michael Kamen)

What could be worse than getting c-blocked while trying to hit on the cute lawyer (Demi Moore) in your building? Who knows, but they will all happen to financial publisher Chris Thorne (Chevy Chase). Not lacking in imagination (William Sandell's art direction is consistently surprising) or humor (Judge Alvin gets many of the best lines), but Dan Aykroyd's lone directorial effort may be too weird for the room.

The same year that he scored another controversial comic concotion, Michael Kamen provided an off-kilter musical accompaniment to match the film.

Nothing But Trouble

composed & conducted 

by

Michael Kamen

1. Meet Cute 0.16

2. Diane Arrives 0.34

3. Welcome to Valkenvania 1.47

4. Outrunning Dennis 3.48

5. Police Escort 3.03

6. Court's in Session 0.42

7. Listen! 0.06

8. Confined 0.06

9. Bigger Gun 0.14

10. Push the Button 0.02

11. Dinner Belle 0.19

12. Brazillionaires Escape 3.06

13. Dennis Helps 0.11

14. Kiss Therapy 1.00

15. Wake-Up Call 0.49

16. Tour of the House 1.38

17. Look at IDs! 1.37

18. Eldona's Body Work 0.22

19. Slide to Freedom? 1.34

20. Judge Goes to Pieces/Bobo and L'il Debbull 3.36

21. Trespasser 0.10

22. Saving Diane 0.46

23. Late Call 0.37

24. Chris vs. Judge Alvin 1.53

25. "She'll know what to do with him." 0.11

26. Dealer Diane 0.52

27. Passing Sentence 0.11

28. Giving Eldona Away 0.19

29. Chris to Bonestripper 0.51

30. Chris Survives 0.27

31. Here She Is, Miss Gradertine 0.47

32. The Great Escape 6.46

33. Return to Valkenvania 1.22

34. Son of the Great Escape/The Good Life 2.24

35. Hasty Exit 0.04

Here's a sample, for the curious:

Couldn't deal with repeating this day.

Things I've never been too keen on in all my life are games designed to trick the eyes. Hidden pictures, what's wrong with this pictures, spot the difference pictures, optical illusions; hate 'em all. They purport to teach people to be more observant to their surroundings, but they just throw me off-guard when all I'm trying to do is enjoy something I'm looking at.

All of which is to say I lost that sweet job I mentioned at the beginning of the year.

My department was to be checking the reports of field representatives who look at houses and look for hazards. Part of my training was looking at pictures and making sure that the sketches (architectural layouts) of the houses matched the pictures. All too often, when my work was being checked, I missed things. Sometimes obvious, sometimes not.

And, let me tell you, this was a sweet gig: paid every week, casual dress code, sit at a computer entering figures into squares and not have to answer phone calls from fucking psycho- and sociopaths all day.

At the very least, I maintained my dignity when I was told to hit the road. I still have some other ways to make money, big and small. Here's hoping they hit.

And, for now, all I can do is keep at it, even if I fail. Isn't that right: